


Beyond the Stars

by Pearlinprocess



Category: Invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee (Comics)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 16:49:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 98,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4108036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearlinprocess/pseuds/Pearlinprocess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Badly written IZ/JTHM crossover fic. Contains lemons in a couple of chapters. Zim/Dib and other ships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Truce

Dib's head hung so low that his chin touched his collar. The things Gaz had said earlier that night... She'd said some messed up things to him before, but he'd always assumed that she was joking. He always assumed they could make it the 18 to 21 mandatory years they had to spend together as co-dependant siblings, and would even look out for each other when need be.

But tonight, she'd laid it all on the table. She said she'd hated him, that he was a nuisance, that he was insane and stupid at the same time, that she'd be better off if she didn't have to save his ass all the time, and Dib had been forced to reflect and realize that, he really had only ever saved Gaz from something he'd caused in the first place, and she was in fact the one saving him ninety percent of the time. Maybe she was right. But so was he, damn it. She couldn't understand. She was like his dad, just like all the other humans…

Just like the other humans… That had made him think about something else she had said.

"Why don't you just go fly off into a black hole with your little green boyfriend, space boy? Or go get mauled by those werewolves you're always chasing, I don't care, just go and never come back!"

Truth be told he had been considering trying to negotiate some kind of agreement with Zim for a while now. But he'd, until now, assumed that he was welcome on Earth, or at least in his home. But his father had given him the ultimatum of attending a strictly scientific college and pursuing a strictly scientific job, or being completely cut off from the family and it's funds upon his upcoming eighteenth birthday.

"I'm sorry son," He'd said, in a way that made it clear he wasn't sorry. "But if you want to be a paranormal investigator so bad, you can pay for the tuition on burger money. That is if you'll have enough left over after rent."

So obviously his dad didn't give much of a damn about him either. So maybe, just maybe, Earth wasn't where he belonged. He still loved the planet so much that it hurt, he loved the beauty and balance of nature that still existed on the planet, but hated what the overpopulation of dumb people was doing to it. He hated what those cruel moronic people did to each other. The good ones were so few and far between, and even most of them were hopeless simpletons.

He sighed in irritation remembering his first and so far only girlfriend, an unbelievably awkward relationship with his former classmate Gretchen. He'd begun dating her when she suddenly blossomed into a rather attractive young woman last year. Admittedly it was mostly for that reason that he'd dated her in the first place. She was pretty, but still socially awkward from being ugly for so many years, and she did still have those braces at the time.

But Dib had told her she was pretty despite the braces she was forced to wear, and made her so shy. On her part, she was a little slow, but she was a good listener. Dib could tell she only believed him half the time, and would never actually go out and participate in his paranormal excursions if she could help it, but he thought she was nice enough just for listening to his crazy-sounding stories, and not tell him she thought he was crazy. But the braces finally came off, and when they did she was immediately recruited by a modeling agency. She became conceited and mean, and dumped Dib for a hotter and infinitely duller guy.

So there was that. Basically the fight with Gaz was just the moldy whipped topping on the mudpie that was his godawful life. So it led him to think, maybe he wasn't doing what he was supposed to be doing. And god knew Zim would never conquer Earth while he was around. So maybe some kind of negotiation could be met between them after all. He wasn't quite sure yet what kind, but he was thinking maybe he could convince the Irken to leave the planet and the smartest people on earth alone and simply kill off it's parasites? He didn't really want to hurt anyone, but since these same people would usually kill themselves one way or another, it was a worthy sacrifice for the more worthy. Eh, well, it was worth a try anyways.

So he slipped past the defenses of Zim's base with only breaking out into a light sweat. He made it down to the innards of the house, lightened of his bribe of chocolate to GIR. There he noticed Zim was talking to his leaders via the big screen. Dib hid to listen.

"So you see my Tallest, if I could simply be allowed some extra supplies this year, I'm sure I could have Earth conquered by this Earth summer! The Earth is going through an economic struggle right now due to a war, and it's the perfect time to weaken it for conquest! I just need some extra Irken dietary supplements, I'm afraid I ran out awhile ago, and although Earth sugar and carbohydrates are relatively safe to eat in small amounts, it's not at all as fulfilling or tasty as SUPERIOR," This word he suddenly screeched out, then immediately returned to normal. "Irken cuisine. Also, it'd be really super neat if I could get one of those awesome new Megalomegadoomers from the artillery catalog, the ones you don't have to plug in!"

Dib broke into a sweat at that. The absence of a plug would be a huge disadvantage to him!

Tallest Red sighed at that. Stupid catalogs, forever on every invader's mailing list, even when that invader wasn't even an invader anymore.

Tallest Purple proceeded to poke his cohort annoyingly. "Hey. Hey. Hey."

Red swatted his fingers away, knowing what he was going to say. "What?"

"If you don't tell him, I will." He warned. They'd had a talk about Zim a while ago. It had been funny, stringing him along all these years, and in complete truth, Red actually did start to hope Zim might someday turn into a decent invader when he noticed the little snot had gone through a surprisingly quick and dramatic growth spurt over the few short years on Earth. Now he was a mildly impressive height for an Irken, a few inches over five feet tall. He might even be as tall as the tallest Irken invaders. But he was still godawful at doing anything but mindless destroying, and it was getting old now. The Resisty was actually starting to put up a good fight recently, recruiting planets that hadn't yet been taken over for help. Irken resources were getting a bit less plentiful too, and the joke was now an expense. Purple had much less patience for Zim than Red. And Red only gave Zim any time of day for one reason. A reason he'd never even fully acknowledged… Until today.

Red nodded. "I'll do it…" He cleared his throat. "Zim. It's time we stopped all this. I know you know about the origins of your DNA. I knew too." Not as long as Zim had, but he'd figured it out after a while, and even though he still didn't want Zim anywhere near Irk or involved with their plans, he no longer wished him dead as he once had. But even if didn't wish death on the moron, he still didn't want anyone else knowing about Zim's origins, or anything about Zim. There was a reason they'd once brought Zim to the existence evaluation, because they questioned it. It seemed everything Zim touched was doomed. Which would be a good thing if they could just get it to work for the Irken empire instead of against it.

Red continued, "I know you know that I and a research scientist named Zirra were the two Irken's whose DNA was mixed to create you. But then you must also know," He added just as Zim's eyes began to widen with pride and delight at his admittance. "That you are FAR from the only one created from my DNA. Tall Irkens like myself are always selected first for that. I can't and won't treat you like you're special because of it. And besides that, even though you have some of my taller and therefore superior DNA, you only grew as tall as your maternal donor. But again, you're not the only one that turned out like that. So it's really because of your all too apparent incompetence at invading that I am forced to tell you, we cannot continue to support you as we have been any longer. You were supposed to be banished a long time ago, Zim. If not for pure luck you would have been dead a thousand times before. You're unbelievably prone to mayhem. I'm sorry Zim, but you're just a gigantic liability!"

Zim interrupted in desperation, "Please, my Tallest, I understand that I may have been a little awkward and clumsy as a young Irken, but I-"

Red interrupted back, and as his superior Zim had to back down. "Awkward and clumsy? Zim the amount of destruction you've caused cannot even be held in the same context as those two words! You've caused the death of two Tallest in your lifetime, and destroyed various portions of various planets, including your own! You are cursed somehow, I don't understand it, but you need to get it through your head that you'd be doing your race a huge favor by just staying away from us! I mean, really, you're not even the only Irken that's prone to being so awful at EVERYTHING-"

At this point Purple joined in. Just because Zim was Red's smeet didn't mean he couldn't address him too as a superiorly tall Irken. Really the fact that Zim was Red's byproduct wasn't even supposed to matter. He didn't understand why Red gave Zim that extra leniency to begin with just because of that fact, given the vast amount of failures he tallied up, both in height and performance. But Red was right, he wasn't the only one either. "Yeah, there's Invader Pesto! I suppose there's a reason he got called Pesto, eh? Get it? Pest, o? Cause he's a pest! O!" It made perfect sense to Purple.

Red blinked, "I thought he was named after that mixed greens and nuts concoction that goes on pasta and sammiches and stuff?"

Purple blinked too. "Mmm. That sounds good right now." As carbs always did. So he barked at a shorter Irken nearby to get them a plate of sammiches with the green stuff on them. Then he continued, "But yeah, Invader Pesto! He's more in that awkward and clumsy stage you were just talking about. We sent him off to some planet we weren't sure existed like you too! And Invader Kim! Funny to note though," Here he eyed Red pointedly. "Both Invader Pesto and Invader Kim also share your DNA, Red…"

Red glared at him, "I do hope you're not suggesting that any defect the three might have stemmed anywhere but their maternal donors, Purple." He stated warningly.

"Of course not." Purple smirked a tiny smirk. "Plenty of your other smeets didn't turn out to be total failures."

Red growled and continued on, "ANYWAYS. I'll-" He glared back pointedly at Purple, then forged on, "I'll send you one last shipment of dietary supplements." He ignored the half-choked protest Purple coughed out. "But you'll need to make it last you a while, because from now on you're banished for good, Zim. You were supposed to be banished for good a long time ago."

"PLEASE," Zim eyes began to collect a strange clear and light-pink liquid. "My Tallests, I beg you to reconsider! There is so much I could do for the Irken Empire! I don't know what I would do if I couldn't serve the Irken race that I am so devoted to!" The love and longing for a reason for his existence showed clearly in the smaller alien's wavering voice.

"ZIM!" Red shouted, trying to hide the fact that, deep down, it caused him pain to do this too. Purple couldn't understand. He was one of nearly half the population of Irkens that had lost not only gender identity, but the ability to feel the emotions that had once been more important to the race than it was now. But of course technological advances had long wiped out the need for them, beyond that of the issue of loyalty to the race… Romantic love was now an embarrassing taboo when once, far enough back into the past of the Irken race, it was enjoyed.

Red knew Purple and a few of the closest members of the Armada knew that he himself had indulged in the occasional romantic fling with a few other Irkens, mostly females, as he preferred them, but of course since he was Tallest it was never brought against him. Purple did not do sex or romance. He employed a small personal team of Irken masseurs, but they were strictly for the relief of tension. Purple had never kissed another, felt longing in their equivalent of the heart for another, and therefore he did not know what it felt like to be attached to another that shared your DNA, to want the best for them just as you wished for the best for yourself.

But Red also understood the logic his cohort and their type employed, how emotions could get the better of an Irken and cause them to do foolish, detrimental things. Things like supporting a crazy, cursed little Irken that was supposed to be banished. So he held his paternal feelings in check and addressed the younger, shorter Irken. "The most considerate thing you could do for your species and our agenda would be to STAY on that little mudball you landed on and quit bothering us! Or better yet, you could go get lost and disappear completely like your fraternal unit Invader Yoogli!"

Zim gasped at that, hurt all-too evident in the choking sound. Even though Irkens had much more subdued emotions than they used to, they were still loyal to one another. No Irken would be left to die by enemy hands unless there was good reason to do so. That was the reason why, even though Invader Tenn had failed her mission, they'd still expended the resources to save her. The fact that she was also one of Red's smeets also got her in good favor. And it was the reason why putting Zim before the existence evaluator had been a last resort. One Red truthfully didn't want to have to repeat now that he realized Zim was his offspring. But Zim had to think the opposite was the case, or else he would just keep crawling back.

Red averted his eyes from the smaller Irken, who's eyes were wide in shock, not yet crying, mostly because the dire situation had not completely sunk in yet. "…Goodbye, Zim."

And then the transmission screen went black.

Dib couldn't believe it. He actually felt worse for the little alien than he did about himself. His own father not only had never acknowledged him at all until this point, but had basically just told him that he didn't care if he lived or died. How could anyone be so cruel to their own child? Then again, from what Dib had gathered from the information he'd stolen, Irkens were raised as test tube babies, and their DNA was put together by scientists in a lab instead of two lovers in a bed. Still, it was obvious that Zim still had feelings, and they'd been greatly wounded.

Hesitantly, Dib stepped out from his hiding place. "Zim." He called softly, but even despite that Zim turned on him in a flash, watery eyes narrowed in hatred.

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE, YOU EAVESDROPPING PIG-MONKEY?" The little green man shrieked, throwing the nearest thing to him, a ceramic mug, at the earth boy's head. But his aim was way off due to the liquid gathering in his eyes, and with the emotion overtaking him, Dib easily dodged the utensil.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop on that." He apologized reasonably, even though he normally wouldn't. "But believe it or not, I actually really know how you're feeling right now, Zim. I know what it's like to feel like no one in the world cares if you live or die." Zim had been about to rip something out of it's bolts to throw at Dib, but his words reached him and he stopped. He didn't look back at the human, but one of his antennae twitched. He was listening.

So the human went on, slowly approaching the alien that he'd realized years ago was one of the greatest sources of purpose and enjoyment in his life. "Hey. Look at me." Zim didn't, so Dib went on anyways. "Come on. You may be accident-prone like they said," At that Zim did look back at him to shoot a deep glare. "But you're not a bad invader. Zim, you're passionate about what you do. You're creative and intelligent. Don't let them make you feel bad just because you're not perfect. Nobody is perfect, not even the Tallest." He reached out quickly before he lost his nerve, and set his hand down on Zim's shoulder in a sign of support.

"You don't understand, you stupid Earth Pig-Monkey!" Zim screamed, wrenching away from the hand of the much taller human. If Dib was an Irken he'd be tall enough to be the Tallest himself. He'd grown a staggering amount in the few short years Zim had spent on Earth, and now at the eve of adulthood he stood at six feet and four inches, towering over Zim by almost a full foot of height, just short an inch or two. Despite the human being taller than him, Zim didn't act any differently. He was still the superior species, that would still be true if the human were a hundred feet tall. Plus, Zim had gone through a rather drastic growth spurt for an Irken too, and was very proud of the near foot of height he had achieved in only seven years. Seven! Practically nothing to an Irken. But that didn't console him now, and he was sure nothing could.

Dib stubbornly put his hand back on the shorter being's shoulder and lightly squeezed, sighing lightly. "Zim… We've been fighting so long, and it's becoming apparent neither of us ever needed to be. Even though it was fun sometimes… I used to hate you and want you dead and I know you did too, but I think we both realized years ago that we're better off with each other around. I know it's weird, but… I'm here for you if you want me to be. And to be completely honest… I've kind of been wondering for a while what it might be like to be friends instead of enemies. I really wish I had a friend right now…"

The sappiness of the situation made Zim feel queasy, and there was a small part of him that distrusted Dib's true intentions. But underneath the nausea and paranoia was a strange longing reaction to the young man's invitation. Obviously he didn't mind being an alien, but it really sucked to be alienated. And all these years on Earth, of all the pig-monkeys that called themselves human that lived here, only the Dib had ever remotely entertained him. He'd never needed Dib more than he did at this moment, much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn't, at least not to himself. And anyways what did it matter if it was a trick? He had no reason to continue to exist now that he'd been utterly rejected by his empire, planet and species.

So he accepted his invitation and/or doom. "Fine... I've lost the respect of all of my Irken comrades, what does it matter anymore what they'd think about this..." Reluctantly, he held out his three-fingered hand.

Blinking in surprise, Dib returned the gesture, wrapping his five fingers around the gloved hand, and lightly squeezed. It was a strange sensation, shaking hands with the enemy with no tack in between, feeling each other's pulse and heat. It was nice, but it was also incredibly awkward. After a few seconds, Zim gave him a raised eyebrow that Dib could tell translated to something like, 'Okay, what now?'

Dib cleared his throat first and began to speak, "So, Zim… You've been to plenty of different planets. Which was your favorite? Besides Irk, of course." Though he interrupted the moment by asking his question, Dib did not immediately let his alien go. He was still inwardly marveling as how close to his own skin temperature Zim's skin was. It was just a little cooler, though that was probably due to living in a cold, metal base.

Zim was the one who finally wrenched his hand back and looked up at the human quizzically. "Why do you want to know this, Dib-human-who's-apparently-really-gone-insane-this-time?"

Dib ignored the insult, determined to get the answer. "Answer me first and then I'll answer you."

Zim sighed and then hummed for a moment in thought. "Mm… Hmm… HMMMM… Hmm-dee-hmmm… Hum. Hum. Hummmmuumuummm…" Okay, more than a moment.

Dib interrupted after about four and a half moments. "If you have more than one favorite, that's okay…"

"SILENCE ZIM IS THINKING-Okay, well, I stayed a night at Resortia, that was nice, even if it was a bit expensive… And the food at Foodcourtia is pretty good, if only that weirdo Frylord wasn't around all the time…"

Dib interrupted him, "Um, Zim," He sighed a little sigh. "Isn't there any planets you found… I dunno, awe-inspiring? Beautiful?"

"Irk, of course!"

Dib smack his forehead. "I know you like Irk best, Zim! I like Earth best! But what other planets are beautiful to you?"

Zim sighed back, and took a moment to think a little harder. "Well… There was a planet I once crash landed on and had to spend a few weeks repairing my ship… Irk had it labeled as Fooboo-14. But I overheard the natives there calling it Walima. The natives of Walima were a race of limbless, snake-like people. They probably would have eaten me if they could have, I was wounded and weak, but they couldn't chew, and could only eat things small enough to be swallowed whole. Most of them avoided me. But one didn't. A child, a female I think. She was curious about me. Despite being a different species, she had green skin and red eyes, so I suppose she must have taken pity on me because our similarity in appearance. She brought me food."

Dib interrupted, fascinated with the story. "How did she bring it to you without limbs?"

"The native's tail is skinny and dexterous, they use it like a hand. She dragged a giant leaf with native food on it. There was a pink egg with red yolk inside that was too spicy to eat. Then there was a smelly green chunk, that looked like a wad of moss or pond scum, I didn't even taste it. But then there was some fruit. There was a fruit the size of my hand with a purple rind and sugar-sweet red flesh. And some orange berries that were sweet and sour. Besides Irken food and Earth waffles, it's probably the tastiest things I've ever eaten."

"I prefer pancakes, myself." Dib smiled. "But I'd love to taste them too, if I could. What about the scenery of that planet?"

"It consisted of many mountains and canyons, but it was a very green planet. Most of the flowers were red. The river that flowed through the canyon was so pure you could see the pink sands at the bottom. But there were also a few pink predators that lurked in them, so I tended to avoid them." He paused there, indicating that was the end of his recollection.

But Dib was nowhere near satisfied. "Any others?"

Zim sighed and tapped his lip with a claw as he thought. "…Planet Kryndal, also known as Fooboo-19."

Dib interrupted, "What does Fooboo mean?" Since it had been repeated twice.

"It's an Irken word for a planet that's being considered for conquest, but is still years away from the actual invading process, as opposed to a Foofee planet, which is being invaded but is not yet conquered. NOW BE SILENT!" He screamed suddenly after 'patiently' explaining the lingo. "Kryndal is a planet inhabited by a subspecies of rock people. Most types of rock people are large and dull, but the Kryndals are usually more on the smaller size, and they're relatively intelligent, though of course nowhere NEAR as intelligent as the mighty Irken race." Zim nodded sagely to his own opinion. "But it is not the Kryndals intelligence that makes them memorable - It is their physical appearance. They are pleasant to look at. Their bodies are made of crystals and gemstones, and they come in just about every color you can think of. I've never been to their planet, though I've heard it's just as beautiful as it is dangerous, but the people themselves are awfully pretty. Almost too pretty to conquer… Almost."

Dib had been smiling as he listened to Zim's stories, and now it had stretched itself into a grin. "I really want to see one of them! Wow, rock people, how does that even work…?" He mused, mostly to himself, before turning his attention back to Zim. "What are the other rock people like? Do they eat? What do they eat? What are their-"

But Zim cut him off in the middle of his bombardment of questions, "SILENCE Dib-monster, I've answered enough of your questions!" Also he didn't know what the rock people ate. "Now it's time you answered mine - Why do you want to know?"

"I want to see them." Dib answered immediately. "I want to go to the places you've been. I love Earth, but it seems to be doing just fine with or without me, and I'm not getting any younger protecting it. Humans don't live nearly as long as you Irkens. I want to live my life while I still have time. I want to see the universe. I want you to show me."

Zim stared at him in silence for several seconds, thinking. He certainly didn't want to be stuck on this dirt ball of a planet any longer than he had to be, but he couldn't go back to Irk, either - Not without asking for his doom on a silver platter. So the only other alternative would be to go… Anywhere else in the galaxy. True, he didn't need to take the Dib-human along with him, but the alternative to that was traveling alone with GIR. Though the Dib was constantly accused of being insane by his peers, Zim knew that the definition of true insanity was his little robot servant. It would be nice to have another sentient being around, and it didn't take much considering to know that the pig-monkey was the best choice. He was intelligent enough to commandeer an Irken ship, he'd proven himself in battle on countless occasions, and most importantly… He was asking for this. He would be in debt to Zim and in Zim's ship he would be at Zim's command.

Best to make sure he knew that, though. "There will be conditions to such a request, Dib."

Dib nodded slowly, expecting as much. "Name them."

"First of all," The alien began. "On my Irken vessel, I am in charge. If you're coming with me, you are my slave."

"No." Dib replied immediately. He was willing to negotiate with the alien, but he knew that little green bastard well enough not to let him make all the demands. Conquering was in his blood, after all. "I agree that the ship is your property, and that you know more about it than me. I agree to be your second-in-command, your subordinate. I will follow your orders if I believe they are reasonable, but I am not and never will be your slave. Next condition."

Zim glowered at the human for his refusal, but admittedly the compromise was more than he'd expected of the willful human, and he was still in charge, so it was acceptable. "SECOND, you WILL follow my orders even if you aren't sure if they're entirely reasonable or not. Between the two of us, I am the one with the most knowledge about what we will encounter in the deep of space." He growled, more at himself than at the human, for the next words to come out of his mouth. "Rrr-I will not ask you do anything… Unnecessary. Like licking my boots." The alien grinned wickedly at the thought. "But you WILL be doing your share of maintenance and manual labor around the ship."

"Of course." Dib replied, more eagerly than Zim expected. But then, to Zim, ship maintenance was a chore. To Dib, it was exciting and out of the ordinary, and the chance of a lifetime to really learn about the Irken technology that beforehand he'd only had experience near-blindly tinkering with. Well, by his usual standards, anyways.

"Very well, human." Zim crossed his arms. "Then my last condition is this: If you come to regret this decision later on, for whatever reason, you will remember that you ASKED for this. If you want to go crying back to Earth later, you are responsible for getting your own big head back here."

Dib narrowed his eyes. "If that happens then I will get my only-slightly-above-average-sized head back, without your help. Now, I have a couple of conditions myself - If we're 'friends' now, that comes with some expectations. We don't need to gab like girls all the time or paint each other's nails or whatever, but no more betrayals. If we get into a life or death situation, we're responsible for ourselves, but if it's possible to help one another, we will. We've only got each other now. So, I won't leave you behind like I did that one Halloween years ago..." He secretly had always felt really guilty about that. It was a dick move to pull, even on your worst enemy. "As long as you don't leave me behind, either."

Zim's eyes narrowed at the reminder. "I make no promises, Dib-thing. I won't risk my life for you..." He growled as he reluctantly admitted, "But I will... Assist you, if it comes as no inconvenience for me."

Dib nodded, "Right. So then-" Whatever he was about to say after that was muffled as a very messy, chocolate-covered GIR suddenly latched onto his big head out of nowhere, his metallic voice shrieking into Dib's ear.

"ROOOOAD TRIIIIIP~!"

"GIR! There are no roads in space!" Zim sternly reminded him.

"...Oooh yeeeeah..." GIR released Dib's head and jumped on Zim's instead, licking the side of his face and leaving a trail of chocolate behind as the robot amended, "SPAAAACE TRIIIIIP~!"

"GET YOUR SWEET-SMELLING HUMAN DOOKIE-FOOD AWAY FROM MEEEEE!"

Dib briefly wondered what he was getting himself into... But there was nothing behind him worth looking back on, so he didn't.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO


	2. Chapter 2

Faring the Hopeless Well

They had to stay on Earth the extra six months for Zim's last dietary shipment came in, and during that time Dib had stayed at Zim's base instead of going home, except for once to sneak in to get the few personal things he needed, which he packed away in Tak's ship and took back to Zim's.

Of course Zim had protested to this arrangement at first, but after explaining to him his reasons, Zim had reluctantly agreed. Part of that being 'friends' thing the Dib had mentioned was not purposefully dooming each other, so it would probably be considered 'unfriendly' to force him to go back to his demonically scary sister after she'd told him to go and never come back.

Besides that, they were about to effectively trapped themselves together in the vastness of space, at least until they found a planet to part ways at if they wanted to, so bunking together as roommates for a few months was probably the best way to practice for what was to come.

Between the idle bickering, they spent most of the six months preparing for the voyage ahead - Zim taught Dib the basics of the Irken language, enough to identify the parts of Tak's ship as they disassembled it and put it back together, connecting it to Zim's ship to make it big enough to accommodate the both of them. Dib was reluctant to hand control of the ship to Zim, but he didn't have the necessary Irken PAK needed to fully utilize it, so he had no other choice.

Dismantling the ship did come with a near-fatal run-in with Tak's last dormant security drone, which revealed itself when they'd finally finished connecting the ships and attempted to delete Tak's personality and upload Zim's. The drone had nearly electrocuted them to death, but luckily for them, GIR had randomly decided to 'share' his chocolate-cola slushie with the drone, fritzing it to uselessness with the icey, sugary drink just in time.

"ZIM IS GREAT!" The conceited alien had proclaimed afterwards.

And of course Dib couldn't resist reminding him, "You didn't even do anything! GIR did!"

"Yes, and GIR is MY robot!" Zim had 'reasoned' back. Dib just rolled his eyes and let it go, which he'd long-since learned was the best way to avoid a fight. When he wanted to avoid one, anyways. Sometimes he purposefully started them anyways, just so it wouldn't get boring. They might be friends now, but that didn't mean they couldn't still be rivals too. They were too good at it to give it up completely, after all.

When the supplements finally arrived, Dib made a run to the nearest Wack-Mart to buy a bulk supply of the basics that he would need, as well. He bought all the necessary toiletries, of course, and canned foods, as well as snacks. He also secretly snuck on a few cases of bottled Earth-water, though Zim's ship had a purifying water renewal system on board, which he insisted was better for Dib than the polluted swill he'd been drinking all his life. He did make a good scientific argument for it, so Dib had tried it and admittedly it tasted much better and he'd gotten used to it. But if push came to shove Dib wanted to have an ace up his sleeve, and besides, who knew - Maybe Earth-water might contain some kind of nutrient Dib might need later. Better safe than sorry.

...Nah, who was he kidding? He'd snuck a water-gun on board too.

Finally the day of departure came, and although Dib had been eagerly awaiting it, he found it still had managed to come too soon. This was it, he realized. He was about to leave his home behind, and for all he knew, he might really never come back again. He certainly had no intentions of returning, anyways. Still, he filled a small jar with Earth-soil and set it up in his personal quarters as a final keepsake.

As he started up the finished ship, now twice as big as it had been before, Zim told him, "Last chance, Dib-smell. Are you sure this is what you want?"

Dib just nodded silently as he stared out of the window, memorizing the sight of his gorgeous home-planet for the last time as they flew away. The blue waters, the brown and green land-masses, the white clouds swirling around the atmosphere. Dib couldn't take his eyes off it.

Zim quickly got annoyed with the sentimentality. "I don't get it. I know this is where you began your existence, but other than that, what's so special about it?" He huffed. "Some of the scenery is nice, but your species has ruined most of it. There's countless more planets with everything Earth has and much more, why even bother giving this puny dirtball a last glance when being here has only made you miserable? Maybe we should blow it up and make this a proper goodbye-"

"Zim, shut the fuck up and don't even joke like that." Dib warned him sternly, so serious that Zim was shocked into silence for just a moment to listen to him. "I told you, I love my planet just as much as you love yours. There might be a million more planets out there, but Earth is still special. Just because it's smaller than other planets-"

"Thirty-two thousand times smaller than Irk." Zim reminded him, but Dib went on as if he hadn't heard him.

"It STILL doesn't mean it's not amazing in it's own right!" The human insisted, never taking his eyes off the planet. "That world is full of mysteries and wonders. Just because it's small, and fragile-"

"Incredibly fragile, only one moon to rely on, could knock it off orbit right now and doom the whole thing-" Zim once again supplied.

Dib growled out a sigh, quickly getting fed up with being interrupted, and he didn't even want to get started with the Irken on how special that moon was, which he also wanted to get one last look at. "LOOK, if you can't appreciate it, will you at least just give me a few minutes to? I know most humans have been terrible to me, but the planet itself was majestic. Magical." He added, smirking at his own choice of words.

Zim scoffed, "Don't tell me you believe in nonsense like 'magic'."

"You -definitely- wouldn't get that part, Zim." Dib insisted, and went on before Zim could bitch him out for assuming that his 'superior' Irken brain wouldn't understand something about his primitive world. "Let's just say, I made an oath once, to protect this planet. To never harm it, or anyone on it, except in self defense, and to especially always avoid killing, and I really, literally can't break that promise, at least when it comes to Earth and the human race. If you try to harm my planet again, I'll have to try to kill you, so just leave it alone and we can continue to get along, okay?"

Zim was supremely confused and flustered and trying not to get violent over it. "Eh? Whatever, you silly, stinky supersticious human! I don't even have to remind you that my race could wipe yours out with the greatest of ease if it really wanted to, if your PUNY planet actually had anything worth sending a fleet so far for. Enjoy your last look, but I'm telling you, there's nothing on Earth you'll miss. You'll forget all about your pathetic 'magical' planet once you've seen what the rest of the multiverse has to offer!"

Dib wanted to believe Zim was right, so much so that he almost did. But as he watched the colorful orb that was once his home get smaller and smaller in the distance, his heart ached. He knew he was leaving something big enough to leave a hole in his heart behind, but he hoped and trusted that what was to come would be grander yet.

He watched and watched until the Earth was no more than another speck among the billions of stars and planets, and only then did he finally rejoin Zim at the ship's control panel.

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Meanwhile, on Earth, Gaz stared up at the night sky. Her GameSlave5 was turned off for the first time since she'd gotten it, and it hung loosely from her fingertips by her side. She watched the alien ship speed off beyond the stars, and as it finally disappeared from sight, a single tear slowly slipped down her left eye. The tear was warm at first, but the night air chilled it in a second flat, making her shiver.

She ignored the cold. She would spent the rest of the evening ignoring the cold, staring at the stars in the heavens like her brother so often had. And she would be silent for the rest of the night, except only for the words she now spoke, although her audience would never hear her.

"I'm sorry, Dib..." She choked out through a thick voice. "But I know you'll happier out there than you ever would have been here..."

She said it in her heart, but she refused to say it out loud, just like she'd always done. If, by some miracle, her stupid brother managed not to die, then maybe it wouldn't really be 'Goodbye' after all...

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Except for sightseeing out the window, the first few weeks out in space were actually pretty boring. Earth was a long way on all sides from any other planets with life on them, so they had a ways to go before they'd find one. Even so, at first Zim was flying in the general direction of Irk. He was going to change direction in a short time and head towards the general area of Kryndal. Not of course to Kryndal itself since Irk was probably in the process of taking over it by then, but to another set of rock-people planets nearby for Dib to see and explore, before they too fell to the might Irken empire.

Zim and Dib kept themselves busy with ship maintenance, and the occasional argument, it was GIR they had to worry about. Fortunately Dib had the foresight to download a library of music and tacky movies to the ship's computer, to entertain himself, but also the dangerously insane robot. It had managed to keep him occupied... Most of the time.

"I WANNA FLY THE CHOO-CHOO NOW~!" The robot suddenly announced one day while the ship was on autopilot and Dib and Zim were resting in their seperate rooms, since they should have had about four hours of free space to fly through in the direction they were going. The second they heard the exclamation, however, they both jumped to their feet and ran to the main control room.

Zim growled, "GIR, DON'T YOU DARE-" But he only got as far as that before GIR had set the controls to hyperspeed, and it shrieked with delight as the ship lurched into a sudden burst of uncontrollable speeds. Then GIR began to smash buttons on the direction panel, and Zim and Dib were sent flying all across the room, smacking into each other more than once, as the ship violently zig-zagged through space.

After clipping an asteroid, GIR was knocked off of the driver's seat and away from the array of buttons it had been smashing, and after few dozen more tailspins, Zim managed to land on the control panel and took the opportunity to shut off the hyperspeed.

Still propelled by the inertia, the ship spun a few more times before it managed to slow down, and when it finally had righted itself, Zim had wound up splayed over Dib's waist.

"Uugh..." Dib rubbed his head, not immediately aware of the position until a second later, when Zim's hand pushed down on his lower stomach as the Irken struggled to get back up to his feet. Dib blushed suddenly at the pressure on his squirming stomach, but he didn't say anything except for, "Oof..." It WAS just an accident, after all...

Once Zim was up, he grabbed his robotic 'servant' and shook him. "GIR! Do you have ANY idea how much I want to BLAST YOU OUT INTO SPACE RIGHT NOW-?!"

While Zim was busy with GIR, Dib had risen to his feet and approached the control panel to find out just where they'd landed. But, looking out of the window, he was confused at first to find that there were no identifying stars to be seen, only the darkness of space. Then Dib's eyes went wide with terror as he realized what that meant.

"Z-Zim! We've got a SERIOUS problem here!" He shouted over his shoulder, unable to take his eyes off the screen.

"Eh!? What is it Dib-smell?" As annoyed as he was with being interrupted, Zim could tell by Dib's tone that it was as serious as he claimed, and he threw GIR across the room before joining the human at the control panel. "Hey, where did all the stars go-Oh, snurflak..." Zim hadn't yet taught Dib Irken curse words, but he put it together for himself what 'snurflak' obviously meant. GIR's wild ride had put them perilously close to the event horizon of a black hole, and the strong gravitational pull was dragging them closer to the point of no return every second.

GIR ran back to them and hugged their heads together tight, one hand pulling Dib's hair scythe, the other pulling one of Zim's antennae, and screaming as they flailed to free themselves, "YAAAAAY WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE~!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


	3. Chapter 3

Of Finding Lost Things

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Zim growled loudly, almost about to scream in frustration, and ripped GIR off their heads, throwing him across the room. Dib had already been setting the thrusters to take them in reverse, though Zim impatiently shoved him aside and resumed doing the same thing. Any human vessel would have already been pulled in, but even Zim's superior Irken vessel was straining to pull back from the outstanding gravitational pull.

They were making slow but steady progress in getting away, beginning to just see the ring of red and purple stars surrounding them, but the alarm systems suddenly warned them a few seconds too late of an asteroid coming their way. Normally there would have been plenty of time to evade it, but it was being pulled too by the black hole, which caused it to cross the space between them much faster. The huge, heavy rock hit their ship from behind, knocking it off it's course and sending it spinning forward. Zim tried desperately to right the ship in time, but suddenly, everything went still and everything went dark. Pitch black.

For a second that was actually hours, Dib and Zim were both sure they were about to die. Crushed by tidal forces before they even reached the singularity. It took them a while to realize they and everything else, even time itself, had stopped. Everything they thought they knew about black holes told them they should be ripped apart by now, so neither knew what to think about the fact that instead, they were suspended, for who knew how long, in dead silent blackness.

After a pause that could have been any other length of time, but either way it felt unbearably long to the living creatures within - Suddenly, GIR's blue eyes lit up in the darkness, though only Dib could see it, and nothing else. He still couldn't move, he just saw those blue eyes staring at him surrounded by darkness. Then the robot told him simply in his usual happy, dopey voice, "Your future will be decided by quantum fluctuations! Select either the number one or the number two~ One of these numbers will produce a future in which you survive! Your future cannot be determined until a number has been selected!"

At the same time, unbeknownst to Dib, Zim was seeing GIR's serious red SIR eyes gleaming at him in the dark. It said the exact same thing to him, only in his urgent, stern voice, "Your future will be decided by quantum fluctuations! Select either the number one or the number two. One of these numbers will produce a future in which you survive. Your future cannot be determined until a number has been selected!"

A simple game of chance that neither knew both were playing, that's what their fates were riding on. And by pure chance, Dib quietly mumbled, "Two..." just a second before Zim gasped to scream, "ONE!"

But now both of them saw GIR's blue eyes and heard his dopey voice respond, "You have selected the number TWO! Your future is now being determined!"

Now able to move, Zim reached over and tried to smack Dib, "You IDIOT! Who chooses TWO instead of ONE-?!"

Dib didn't have time to argue what difference it made - Although deep down he felt guilty that he might possibly have chosen wrong - Because before he could say anything about it, they suddenly went from suspended perfectly still, to falling fast into a dead drop.

Tremors ran through the frame of the ship as they fell, hitting debris along the way that couldn't even be seen. It was the strangest sensation, they could actually feel their legs and feet, the parts closest to the hole, falling faster than the rest of them.

Then Zim and Dib's stomachs and spooches lurched as the falling feeling changed direction with no warning - Gravity itself shifted from a vertical fall to a horizontal one. Their feet had almost been touching the control panels, but suddenly they fell onto their backs on the floor. The human held his stomach painfully, resisting the urge to vomit after having been thrown around like a rag-doll. Zim was woozy for a moment himself, but recovered much more quickly.

While Dib was still composing himself, wiping saliva from his mouth, coughing, and thanking the stars that he hadn't eaten anything that 'morning' before this unexpected 'detour', Zim approached the screen, staring at all of the new stars around them. Completely new. He could tell just by looking hard enough, but he silently punched in a command to the computer to confirm his suspicious anyways. It indeed confirmed that the star patterns were completely inconsistent with those that they had been flying through before getting sucked into the black hole. But then again, the speed gauge claimed they were going 'Infinity', which of course was impossible, so there was more than a good chance the ship had been damaged and wasn't reading correctly.

Dib groggily spoke up after he managed to get his stomach to settle, "Are we seriously still fucking alive right now...?" He clearly didn't sound like he believed the notion himself just yet.

"Well, I feel pretty alive, how about you?" Zim replied sarcastically, still focusing on what shape the ship was in - After all, it hardly mattered if they survived if the ship had been too greatly damaged to take them somewhere hospitable. It was too scary to think about the other implications of what they'd actually just been through yet.

But Dib couldn't get his boggled mind off of it. "Z-Zim - This is serious! We just got sucked into a black hole, and we're ALIVE!"

Zim abruptly left his work and stomped over to the human, reaching up to slap him right across the face. "ARE YOU REALLY THAT SIMPLE-MINDED, MONKEY-MAN?!"

"HEY!" Dib's face went red with indignation, the three-fingered palm print on the right side of his cheek redder than the rest. "I am NOT sorry to be glad I'm alive after surviving something that should have been impossible to survive! What's so simple-minded about that?"

"BECAUSE, Dib-worm, now neither of us are EVER going to get back home!" The alien yelled back at him, pointing to the screen and the stars beyond. "The computer doesn't recognize any of the star patterns around us! We have NO idea where we are, or even WHEN we are! We could be a million years in the past or the future! But even if we're in the same time, we're most assuredly in a completely different dimension! If we're even able to find another habitable planet before the ship runs down, we may never see another Irken, another human, or even another sentient being ever again!"

Dib suddenly realized why Zim was so paranoid about that. There was a good chance they might be stuck together, each the last of their species in this world that might be completely inhabitable to them, forever - However long or short that might turn out to be. A deep chill went through Dib's spine at the prospect, but he still tried to be as optimistic as he could be. "Okay, that IS pretty huge... But at least it's better than being crushed into a singularity, right?" But even as he mentioned it, a feeling of deep isolation settled over Dib. He'd left Earth behind thinking that he could still go back to it someday if he wanted to. Now, the chances of that ever happening was slim to none.

"Speak for yourself..." Zim growled in response.

"Oh, come on!" Dib spoke back, "Seriously, it is a freaking miracle we're alive right now! I think I lost one of my teeth and I'll have bruises all over me! I am in a great deal of pain!" He announced it as cheerfully as he could, but wincing all the same. "But I REALLY thought I was going to die for a second, so, this is pretty good compared to that! And you're welcome for choosing the right quantum fluctuation for us, Zim. Obviously if we had chosen the number one, we wouldn't have survived!"

But Zim wasn't the least bit pleased by that reminder, and he reached over to smack Dib again, but this time Dib put up a hand to block it. "That's another thing human! How dare you presume to make that decision before me?! Regardless if it was the right one, which is still very much up to debate, I am supposed to be in charge and making decisions!"

"You're right, Zim. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Dib put both hands up now trying to pacify him. If they were going to be stuck together forever he was going to have to get used to it. "It's just, GIR's blue eyes just seemed to be asking me, personally. I don't know why, the black hole must have been messing with my head-"

Zim cut him off, "Cease your lies! GIR's eyes were red when he asked the question and he was directing it to ME!"

Dib's eyes went wide and he stared at Zim, "I only saw blue eyes throughout the whole thing, Zim. I swear."

Zim sighed irritably, too drained to disbelieve him for the moment. "Alright! So we're alive! Big whoop! Let's see how long that lasts! But heed this last thing I say to you DIB," He suddenly reached up and grabbed Dib by the face on his shirt, dragging him down to eye level. "If you ever make a decision without consulting me first, you will-You will pay dearly for it!" He couldn't bring himself to say he'd destroy or kill him though, and Dib knew full well why. They might really only have each other from now on...

Zim let him go and then instructed his ship to search for a hospitable planet, and then retreated to his room, taking GIR along with him. Dib sighed and looked out at the unfamiliar stars. Unfamiliar, but still just as beautiful, just as colorful. Fiery red stars, emerald green stars, royal blue - He stared out at them for a while, noting all the colors they had in common with this new world.

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They had been traveling through the new, unfamiliar space for about two weeks, and during that time Zim had mostly stayed clear of Dib while keeping an eye on his robot at all times. But Dib did manage to catch him out of his personal quarters a few times, and tried to talk to him about mundane things, such as the new stars or their old lives. At first Zim wanted none of it, but he eventually remarked one day that he craved waffles, and he sat down with Dib in a comfortable silence while GIR made them some.

"GIR actually makes some pretty good waffles..." Dib mentioned after eating half of his.

"Now he does. He used to use pretty much nothing but salt in them..." Zim replied, and then abruptly, he sighed. It wasn't an irritated sigh like it would normally be, though. It was tired. "Look... I know this isn't the grand adventure you were hoping for... I..."

Dib looked up from his plate with wide eyes. Was he actually trying to apologize?

"RRR-GIR! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT US LOST IN A BLACK HOLE!" Of course not.

"Hey, it's - Well it IS entirely his fault." Dib couldn't help but agree. "And it definitely isn't what I had in mind at first, but I'm still glad I went on this trip. I'm getting to do stuff no human ever has! If that's not adventure, I don't know what is!" He pointed out.

Zim shook his head in amusement. He was about to insult Dib and his simple-minded ways, but the ship suddenly alerted them for the first time since emerging from the black hole, flashing red lights and loudly declaring, "Habitable planet detected four hundred and seventy-nine thousand miles northwest. Breathable air, water and plant life are detected, and fauna is also present."

They both abandoned their plates and went to go see what the computer was telling them about, although of course they were still too far away to see anything yet but what the computer claimed was the habitable planet among a thousand others that looked just like it from this distance. But it was their only hope so far, so they set course for it.

A few days later they cleared the space between and were within a reasonable distance from the planet's atmosphere. Dib was excited to explore it, but Zim was clearly worried about something. "What the matter? I thought the computer said the planet was habitable?" The human inquired.

Zim growled and laid his head in his hands, his elbows on the dashboard, as he stared out at the planet with his superior Irken eyes. "It looks like it most likely is, but... I've been having some serious doubts about the ship's performance since emerging through the black hole. As you could already see, the speed gauge has gone insane. It says the planet is habitable, but it also alerted me to something yesterday, and... Well, it's just not possible..."

"What is it?" Dib insisted on knowing.

Zim shook his head, but then seemed to reconsider. "Do you remember my Tallest Red speaking of the other invaders who were also banished? That one of them, Invader Yoogli, disappeared completely?" Dib nodded, so Zim went on, "Well... Now the computer is telling me that it's discovered a distress signal from Yoogli's ship, and it's coming from this planet."

"Seriously? Well then, we gotta help him, right?" Dib suggested naively.

Zim resisted the urge to smack some sense into the human, only because it never worked. "Dib-worm, this shouldn't be possible! We all assumed Yoogli and his ship must have been destroyed by enemies, to have disappeared so abruptly-"

"Well, WE should have been destroyed too!" Dib pointed out. "What if Yoogli just happened to somehow get caught in the same black hole we did? Come on, Zim, lets at least check it out - We were going here anyways, it's the only planet so far where we have any chance of finding some extra supplies," They weren't destitute yet, but there was no point in continuing to fly around until they were. "If Yoogli just happens to be here, what's the harm in at least checking in on him?"

Zim rolled his eyes and twitched his antennae in a derisive way. But he couldn't actually think of a good reason not to check in on his comrade. He remembered with no small amount of shame how he'd laughed with the others when Yoogli was banished. And then the others had turned around and did the same thing to him... It wasn't the same though, not at all - Yoogli wasn't just terribly clumsy like Zim, he was a coward to boot! It was nearly unheard of among Irkens, to not be so inflamed with pride for the Empire that you'd be willing to lay down your life in glorious battle. Yoogli had done quite well on the written exam, in fact Zim had cheated off him a bit. But when it came to the physical training, he was close to useless. At least Zim was as bold and brave as any other Irken worthy of their title.

"Even if he DID just happen to survive a trip through a black hole," Zim insisted, "I seriously doubt he would have survived by himself very long. But, I suppose since we're going here anyways, we can at least sweep through the area he supposedly landed at..."

So they did, waiting until the spot that Yoogli supposedly was emerged into the sun-lit hours of the planet. Exploring an unknown world in an unknown dimension was daunting enough without starting off doing it in the dark of night.

They landed early that morning close by a beach that was only a few dozen miles from where Yoogli's ship was supposed to be. The new world was a primitive one, almost twice as big as Earth, and though there was lush green life all around and many creatures crawling, flying and swimming within, nothing moved quite the way the new visitors did, on two legs and thinking their "complex" thoughts.

They got out of the ship with their protective gear on at first. The sands near the beach were multicolored shades of black, white, tan, brown and navy blue. There were blue crabs here and there, and then to Dib's amazement and delight, he spotted a batch of dark purple baby turtles, struggling over the sands to get to the waters. GIR had wanted to eat them, but Dib sternly told him no, and the robot reluctantly obeyed.

The equipment said the air was fine to breath, but Zim had advised him not to trust it. However, it was too tempting for Dib to see if the air here smelled as salty, and there were so many similar things on this planet to his old one, he decided to be bold and give it a try.

Taking off his helmet, a misty breeze immediately refreshed his face, and he gave it a whiff. The air was salty, but there was also a hint of something green, like spinach, but slightly more bitter, and also something floral, like lavender, but heavier. Zim smacked his shoulder, angry at him for taking off his helmet, but Dib shrugged it off. He felt more than fine, the furthest from dying - He felt like in that moment, he'd finally just started to really live.

"Zim, knock it off, it's fine." He assured him. "Consider me your guinea pig here - Now you know the air here really is breathable." But stubbornly, Zim kept his helmet on.

The left the beach and went further into the surrounding 'forests'. There were many tall green shoots, like gigantic blades of grass, growing nearly everywhere. Dib could see that occassionally some had holes chewed in them. Some of them contained various creepy-crawly bugs, beetles and centipedes. Some others contained nests of a particular kind of bird, which was almost like a miniature stork, about the size of a house-cat. The feathers were a very lovely shimmering green-blue, and some of them presumably males, had an almost furry-looking "beard" of downy black feathers, which they kept fluffing up to make it look bigger for their mates. The birds also had a long, pointed beak, which they used to dig grub and build nests out of the shoots, and sharp talons to grab onto the shoots and dig in to keep them balanced while they fed.

Dib was so enamored by the gorgeous new sights that he didn't mind at all that one of the birds suddenly landed on his shoulder - Until it suddenly started to peck at his head, which naturally gave Zim a very good laugh. Dib howled with pain and smacked it away, chasing it off, and kept his helmet on after that. GIR, on the other hand, laughed gleefully at one of the bird pecked incessantly at his metal-head, declaring loudly, "AWW, he likes me!"

Further into the forest, there wasn't anymore birds in the trees, but they were finding half-eaten bird carcasses and bones here and there. Dib gulped, unnerved, and asked Zim through their shared intercom, "What do you think has been eating the birds?"

Zim kept his hands closed to the laser-guns at his hip. "Lets hope we DON'T find out..." Dib agreed, but he took his helmet off again and kept his ears open. Zim's hearing wasn't as good as his, his sense of vibration was much better. The latter usually more than made up for the former, but on an alien planet, every advantage was needed.

They were still several miles from the area that was supposed to be where Yoogli's ship was stationed, but it had since gotten dark. Zim ordered that they stop and Dib get some sleep. The alien could have gone on a few hours more before becoming exhausted enough to need to sleep, but it was a better idea to let the human rest first while he took first watch, that way by the time he was tired enough to really need sleep, Dib would be well-rested enough to take the next watch.

Several silent hours passed by in the cold dark. Zim's antennae had been rigid with attention the whole time, but nothing made as much as a rustle. Even GIR was in sleep mode. Zim was determined to make it through his shift, but it became incredibly boring. During his last hour, he nodded off into a dark, quiet unconsciousness without even realizing it. He was dreaming that he was still on his watch, so he didn't notice the difference because he very rarely dreamed.

Dib had slept soundly while Zim was watching him, but by the time he was supposed to take over his watch, he naturally began to wake himself. Still, it was cold, so he wasn't in any hurry to get up until Zim made him, either.

That was, until he began to hear a very quiet, subtle rustling noise surrounding them. He opened his eyes and turned his head slightly to the side. And then he froze.

The head of a gigantic green snake, at least twenty feet long was less than five feet away from Zim, whose head was drooped over in sleep. That jerk would never let him get away with falling asleep on the job! But Dib quickly reminded himself there was more important things to consider right this second. The snake was easily big enough to swallow either of them, but Zim, the smaller target, was the one it had it's eye - It only had one - on.

One eye. That was it. Grabbing a fistful of dirt, Dib suddenly hurled it at the snake's cycloptic eye, blinding it. The creature shrieked and turned to where the dirt had come from, striking instinctively and deadly fast at the threat. Luckily, Dib rolled away just in time, and the snake struck more dirt instead of him. Zim woke up as soon as he heard the commotion, his spider-legs shooting out of his PAK and propelling him into the air, his head whipping around to find the threat.

The snake was turning it's head around, trying to locate them by vibration, so Dib went completely still so that it couldn't find him. Zim, on the other hand, used his spider legs to leap soundlessly to a tree across from the creature, pulled out his laser, pointed it at the snake's head, and fired.

The snake made one last choked cry as the white-hot ray burned a hole right through it's brain. It writhed in it's death throes for a moment before it finally went still.

"ZIM IS GREA-"

Dib did NOT let him finish that sentence this time. "You are an IDIOT, ZIM!" He yelled at him in frustration and lingering fear. "You were supposed to be on watch! If you were tired you should have woken me up to take over the shift!"

Zim admittedly felt a little guilty about that, but he hated being yelled at. "Silence, Dib-thing! How dare you admonish your superior?!"

But Dib yelled right back, "I will NOT be silent, and you're NOT my superior anymore! You don't know any more than I do in this place and you almost just got the both of us killed! I can deal with dying, but I'm not going to let you leave me all alone!"

Zim growled, not immediately wanting to come back down from his spot, suspended in the tree. "I didn't mean to! I didn't even realize I fell asleep! I was watching the area and then the next second I've got a snake in my face! I... I guess I must have been more tired than I realized..." He admitted reluctantly, "...Th-Thanks for... For making a good distraction!" Of course he couldn't admit that Dib had saved his life, though.

"WHEE, LOOKIT ME! I'ma saber tooth squirrel!" GIR suddenly announced, having taken the front fangs from the snake and put them in it's own mouth.

Dib glanced over at the robot and then sighed with a small smile. "It's fine... Looks like the sun will be back up soon." He mentioned, and indeed the first red rays of daylight were peeking over the horizon. "Are you rested up enough to go, or do you-"

Zim quickly interrupted him, taking the chance to again insist upon his superiority. "Zim is fully rested! Mighty Irkens such as myself need only an hour of sleep a day, and I've had 45 minutes! Well more than enough to get by on!"

But Dib shook his head. "I can wait another fifteen minutes. Go ahead and get your full hour in."

So the Irken slept in another twenty minutes while Dib took GIR on a brief walk. When he got back the Irken was groggily rubbing his eyes, having finally decided to take off his own helmet, since it was getting stuffy now that the sun was up and burning bright.

They set off again by the light of day, and found that the green shoots were colored blue around these parts, and were accompanied by trees that looked like several bushes stacked up on each other, and colored like red wine. Dib was so distracted looking around at them, he tripped right onto his face not realizing the ground beneath him had been disturbed. When he got back up and wiped the dirt off his face, he realized that it looked as if something heavy had been dragged through the dirt, or, more likely, had crashed here and came skidding to a stop.

He and Zim followed the path in the dirt, not sure if they should hope for the best right away. Even if the ship had landed here, there was no telling if Yoogli was still alive in it. The trail led to a gigantic tree - It looked almost like a willow, but it was lavender-colored, and bent over unnaturally. Turning on his flashlight, Dib parted the hanging lavender willow-wall and shined the light in. Zim peeked in next to him.

It had long been covered with moss and other plant life, and the front of the ship had smashed into the tree, causing it to bend over as it grew around the obstruction which had since never left.

Zim slowly approached the ship as Dib continued to shine the light towards him. When he finally settled next to the spacecraft, he was't quite sure what to do with it at first. After a slight hesitation, Zim reached up and quietly rapped his knuckles against the side of the ship, sounding off a hollow, metallic sound.

A moment passed, then two, but nothing happened. No one answered back. So Zim shrugged, approaching Dib again, "Eh, maybe no one's home?"

But as soon as this was said, a sharp, creaky-scratching sound came from behind them, which they realized was the hatch trying to open against the plants that had grown over it. It seemed to be having difficulty at first, then it fell open suddenly and a short little Irken came tumbling out - It had apparently been ramming the door in it's desperation to get it open.

Zim's eyes went almost as wide as the bug-eyed creature in front of him, who had gotten to his knees and was staring at Zim the way a man dying of thirst would look at a pitcher of ice-water. Then, to both their shock, and with no warning whatsoever, the smaller Irken, Yoogli, ran after Zim with outstretched arms and tackled him to the ground in a near-crushing hug.

"COMRADE!" The other Irken cried out in disbelief, rubbing his head against Zim's chest like an overly-affectionate cat. His clothes were old and ratty, torn in several places, but Yoogli apparently cared not for modesty. He was even rubbing his antennae against Zim's neck and under his jaw, which was making Zim's pale green skin grow bright red.

Even Dib could tell this was not normal Irken behavior, and he blushed as well, coughing a little as he asked, "Uh, I take you guys already know each other...?"

Zim sputtered back at him, struggling to free his arms from the restrictive hug. "Not nearly as well as he thinks we do-!" He answered in a very squeaky voice. He was completely thrown off guard by the Irken even being there, let alone his behavior. He went on to his brethren in their native tongue, "Soldier, I ORDER you to get a hold of yourself! What has gotten into you?! How dare you smother me with this vulgar and unwanted display of affection?!"

Yoogli replied in a guilty tone, but did not lessen his embrace one bit, "Please, comrade! I'm sorry, but you don't understand! I thought I'd never see another Irken again! I've been trapped on this planet over fifteen YEARS! ALONE! Please, comrade... Comrade, please..." He repeated piteously after his initial outbursts, and the way he kept addressing Zim, he couldn't help but feel badly for his brother. 'Comrade' - It was a standard greeting among fellow Irkens when they didn't know their first names, but the way Yoogli said it... He clearly never expected to say the word again, and he loved hearing himself say it.

Zim wasn't completely sure how to address what was happening. On one hand he was, of course, incredibly embarrassed to have this be happening at all, but especially in front of Dib. On the other hand, he did pity the poor Irken for his situation, and related to it. All those years he spent banished from his empire and his people, there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't crave just this - The familiar touch of a fellow and the sound of his native language with no strange accents. As awkward and uncomfortable as it was, it also felt really good.

But the antennae-rubbing was far too much, and they really hardly knew each other. Even if they were the last two Irkens in this whole dimension, being this clingy this fast was just annoying. Once he'd finally freed one of his arms, Zim reached and grabbed the poor creature roughly by the appendages - Grabbing another Irken's antennae was normally a huge social taboo, but then again, so was touching another Irken with your antennae when they didn't give you permission.

Yoogli cried out in pain and his eyes watered up, and he finally pulled back away from Zim and took his arms back to himself. "Please, I'm sorry-!" He began, but Zim interrupted him.

"CALM yourself, comrade!" He commanded him, and hearing himself being addressed that way by Zim did indeed calm down the frantic little Irken. "I understand, okay? You've been alone here for a long time, and you're glad to see me. I don't blame you for that." He nodded arrogantly. Who wouldn't be glad to see Zim? "But I do not approve of your disgusting displays of affection! Look, you've probably got the human thinking... Weird thoughts!" He concluded, letting go of his antennae and gesturing over to Dib, who was still blushing.

Yoogli finally looked past Zim at the pale, tall alien behind him, blinking owlishly at the creature. He repeated uncertainly, "Hyoo... Man?"

Realizing he was being addressed, Dib fought to drop the 'WTF' expression on his face and replaced it with a small smile, waving with one hand. "Uh - Fashla?" He was pretty sure that was Irken for 'Hello'.

Yoogli raised an eyebrow at him and then turned back to Zim, "Why did he say he stinks?"

"Because he does, and he just thought you should know." Zim replied dismissively. He would explain to the Dib-thing later that it was 'Vashla', not 'Fashla'. Maybe. It was kind of a funny mistake, actually, so he might just leave it be.

Yoogli shrugged it off, "It matters not yet - You're here to save me, right? Bring me back to the empire?" He concluded desperately.

Zim sighed and shoved the shorter Irken off of him, then got up to his feet himself. "...No." He answered honestly after a short pause, taking no delight in how the other Irken's face fell. "We're trapped here with you. We didn't even know you were here until yesterday. Look, I AM glad I found you-" He added quickly as tears started to gather in Yoogli's eyes. "I just honestly wasn't really looking. I guess you can stay with us, BUT, no more of your weird hugging or rubbing!"

The shorter Irken blushed himself this time, nodding right away. "Yes of course, I'm so sorry-Zim." He addressed him by name, now both realizing and caring who the only other Irken in this dimension just happened to be. "I would never had done that, normally, of course... I just couldn't believe I was seeing another Irken, I didn't even care who it was at first. I just-I had a MIGHTY need to be near you!" He explained in a huff, clearly still resisting the urge to wrap his arms around him again, even despite knowing this wasn't just any Irken, but arguably one of the most dangerous and insane Irkens alive.

Zim pushed him back gently by the chest. "Yes, yes, Zim is too attractive for his own good, he knows this-"

"Wait!" Yoogli suddenly exclaimed, actually pushing Zim aside this time and going up to Dib. "Hyooman- Are you... Mem... Membrane?" He inquired hesitantly, and Dib's eyes went wider than ever.

"Did-Did he just say what I think he said...?" He aked, clearly not believing his own ears. How did this alien he'd never seen before know his name? He'd been paying close attention to what he and Zim were saying. Though he couldn't understand it, he put together the gist of what they were saying for the most part by their tones and body language. But Zim had never said his name, only called him 'human'. Where did Yoogli get 'Membrane' from?

Zim stomped over to the other Irken and grabbed his shoulder, demanding an explanation. Dib watch as Yoogli explained something to Zim very quickly. He quirked an eyebrow at Zim, waiting for an interpretation.

Zim seemed unsure, like he didn't believe what he'd just heard at all and didn't want to look stupid repeating it. But Dib insisted he tell him what had been said, so finally Zim relayed it back to him, "He says... He says he found something that he thinks belongs to you."

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	4. Chapter 4

The Inheritance

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"He said what now...?" Dib of course couldn't believe what he'd heard any more than Zim had. Obviously the poor lonely alien had gone crazy while in isolation. But he was curious, and Yoogli had already gone back inside his dusty ship to find the item in question, so he simply raised an eyebrow as the shortest sentient came back with what basically looked like a slightly-bigger-than-basketball-sized, shiny, silver metal sphere, floating next to him in mid-air. There were several grooves in in various sizes and in square and circle shapes - Some might be buttons or compartments, Dib guessed.

"Eeh?!" Zim immediately expressed more confusion at the sight of it. "Have you gone defective, soldier? This is obviously not a human device!" Zim admittedly couldn't really tell what exactly it was or what its function was, but the technology was too advanced to be human in origin. It looked more like it was created by some kind of advanced being, but since he had no idea what it was it was hard to say what kind of creature had created it.

Yoogli insisted, "I don't think it is either! But it told me you guys would come for me someday, and that when you did I was to give it to the 'Human Membrane' that came with you! You've come, so now, although this orb has been my only source of companionship all these years, I will do as it asked me..."

Zim shook head head slowly, "You're crazy..." He was sure of that, and he said as much to Dib in his language, "Forget it, Dib-worm, he's crazy-"

"I'm not crazy!" Yoogli suddenly lunged after Dib, grabbing his index finger, and shoving it towards one of the smaller circular shapes. The metal moved aside and his finger went in, and Dib jumped and pulled his hand back as his finger was pricked from inside.

"Hey!" The human shouted, sucking on his slightly bleeding finger. Before he could inquire what the big deal had been, the device had started to make a whirring sound, and the grooves in the metal glowed red for a moment.

Then, the device began to speak, in Dib's language, and in a voice that was somewhat robotic, but also somewhat like a female's tone. "DNA sample identified. Dib Membrane."

"What the zork..." Zim murmured, looking at the device with eyes even wider than the human's.

The device continued with no care for Zim's opinion, "Dib Membrane's access to the information stored within the database is... Denied." Dib almost wanted to ask what and why, but the machine went on without his input too. "The device and its vital information can only be accessed by Gaz Membrane. She was the one that was expected to arrive at this time and place, not Dib Membrane. Please bring the device to Gaz Membrane to access the information within."

The red glow faded and the newcomers stared in shock at it's request. Dib didn't like to consider the possibility that he was going insane often, but he had to admit, now was the time to do it. Gaz was more than a billion miles and years behind or ahead of him. He thought he'd never hear her or see her again, and he thought he had been rather glad of that too. She'd very seldom treated him any way but shabbily, to say the least. But now, in less than an instant, he went from being glad to be gone from her, to wanting desperately to see her again. He HAD to be going crazy to want that, even if the promise of secret information was awful tempting. That was, of course, assuming this wasn't a hallucination.

But Zim had heard the exact same thing, and he confirmed it when he exclaimed, "What?! Now your scary sororal unit has something to do with this madness?! Machine, you will not disobey me! I demand you tell me what you want with the Gaz-beast!"

The machine's grooves now whirred in a cyan blue colored glow, and answered back in the same calm, robotic voice. "The device may communicate with you voluntarily, but you cannot force it to do so. Attempts to hack into the device for the information guarded within, or to destroy the device, will be met with painful and possibly fatal consequences." To drive home the point, several grooves opened and pointed various miniature deadly weapons at them, lasers and pointy things mostly, before retracting back into their slots.

Zim growled at the threat, and the confusion that was making him more than flustered. He wanted to scratch and bite at it, but wary of it's warning, he instead just childishly kicked some dirt in it's direction and pointed menacingly at it. "It doesn't matter what your big secret is! We'll never be able to find her, because in case you didn't notice, we're on the other side of a black hole!"

"The device was already aware of that fact." It argued back at Zim, "It is also aware of how you many return to your own dimension, and it may show you-But only if you faithfully follow my direction while you are still in this dimension, and agree to bring the device to Gaz Membrane, to whom the device truly belongs, once you are again in your own."

Hope weighed them down as much as it lifted them. They were desperate to believe it could be possible, but none of them trusted the mysterious machine or it's motives. Dib got over his shock first, being the least worried of the three about getting home. "Can you say why you were expecting Gaz?"

The machine was quiet for a moment except for the airy whirring noise. Then, finally, the etches in the metal went purple, and it replied, "Gaz was told to come to this place and time by her mother, who built this device. For some reason, she sent you instead. But the information stored within the device can only be utilized by Gaz. You must bring the device to her. In return, the device will aid you on this endeavor in every way that it was programmed. Your Earth and all it's creatures are in danger, Dib, and only Gaz and the information within the device can save it."

Dib felt more than a little shaky. "...What did you mean, 'her' mother... We have the same mother, don't we...?"

The orb backtracked, "Yes, you misunderstood. You DO have the same maternal and paternal unit as Gaz Membrane, Dib Membrane."

"Then what happened to my mother?" Dib asked desperately, "Why was she even in this dimension? What the HELL is going on here?!"

The silver sphere was silent for a full moment, "...Your mother is now deceased. Creating the device was one of her last acts in life. The device contains much information imparted onto it by your maternal unit, but only Gaz Membrane may access it. The device will only aid Dib Membrane in getting the device to Gaz."

Dib slowly sunk to his knees, feeling the need to sit for a moment. He had no memories of his mother whatsoever. His father refused to say anything about her the rare few times Dib had asked. A couple of years ago Dib had insisted on knowing, and his father finally admitted he had cloned Dib and Gaz, and would say no more than that. But Dib wasn't an idiot, he knew that even if they were cloned, which he was inclined to believe more than his dad actually getting it on with a woman, there still would have needed to have been an egg donor.

Dib had thought that she was probably just a random lab assistant that had been sent away with a hefty sum. He'd entertained himself only once or twice thinking his mother might be someone more interesting, like possibly some kind of vampire or demon if Gaz was any indication.

But like Zim, he realized that this machine was most likely beyond the scope of human capabilities. So hesitantly he forced himself to ask, "Is..." He corrected himself sadly, "WAS our mother... Human?"

"That information is classified."

Dib shook his head and chuckled humorlessly. By refusing to answer the question it pretty much already had, not in as much detail as he'd hoped. It was something he'd thought about before, but only as a joke to himself, only because the human race seemed so foreign to him at times. But what kind of being could his mother have possibly been? And - Oh god, a thought had just come to him, "Wait, then, our dad, did he-?!"

"That information is also classified."

Actually, Dib was kind of glad for that one. If his father had been telling the truth about cloning them, he had to have known WHAT he was cloning his DNA with, of course. But if he hadn't cloned them... Dib shivered and shook his head to clear away the thought.

Besides, that wasn't what was important. He suddenly was filled with the burning need to know about the part of him that had been missing so long, and the key was to get this device back to Gaz. However, as much as he wanted so desperately to know, he was still reluctant to go back to Earth. It wouldn't be much of a 'space adventure' if he just went straight back to Earth, after all. But if his planet was in danger, he had to do it, and would. He had promised a long time ago to protect his home-planet, and when he made a promise, he took it seriously. He just had to figure out how to convince Zim to take him back or find a way to do it himself.

Speaking of the little green devil, he finally spoke up again, guessing at Dib's line of thought. "I have no interest in returning to Earth, Dib."

"The device will not show you how to return until you have agreed to bring the device back to Gaz within a reasonable amount of time. Once you have agreed, the device will terminate you if you do not comply within a reasonable amount of time."

"Bah, you could try! And just what do you call 'reasonable'?!" Zim scoffed.

"The device will be able to return you to your dimension more or less two years after you left it. Then you will be given four additional years to return the device to Earth. It should only take you a year if you left immediately, but the extra time will allow for unseen variables. After that, the situation on Earth will reach a critical standpoint. If you do not reach your sister by that time, Dib, you will die, and your planet may soon follow you. The device still cannot fathom why Gaz chose to risk such a fate sending you instead of coming herself like she promised she would..."

"Probably sheer laziness." Zim rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "If I know anything about the Gaz-beast, it's that if she can pawn a task off on the Dib-worm, she will."

Zim's explanation was almost believable, Dib had been thinking along the same lines himself. But he knew his sister slightly better - She WOULD pawn her mediocre chores on Dib whenever she could, but this was so out of the same ballpark as cleaning up the dinner dishes. If a task was actually important, Gaz would do it herself, let alone if the Earth was on the line - She wouldn't risk leaving something this important to Dib without a good reason, would she?

Well, Dib supposed the only way to find out was to find her and ask her. "...I'll do it. And I'll find my own way back if I have to."

Zim was about to tell Dib how very stupid he was, but the machine acted first, taking out some kind of needle from one of it's compartments and punturing the top of Dib's hand. The young man winced for a moment, but it was over quickly. He rubbed his hand as the needle was taken back, feeling over the small metal chip left behind.

Afterwards the orb went on, "It is advisable that you now gather as many supplies as you can and then leave the area."

But Dib had one last thing to ask, "Wait - Why did my mother even come to this place? Why did she leave you here, and how did she die?"

The machine whirred for a moment, "...The device can only say this to you, Dib Membrane. Your mother was a brilliant scientist. But she was also a believer in the forces of the paranormal. She went to many places and found many things, the memories of which she stored in me. But ultimately, she chose to terminate her own life."

Dib's stomach dropped. He had been painfully familiar with that kind of despair a few times in his life, and though he had never known his mother, he felt closer to her than ever. His father always went on about how much like him Dib was, but it seemed that the boy took after his mother just as much. "But, why-?"

"Classified."

The human sighed deeply. "And all this classified stuff, only Gaz can access it. But would you tell me after she has?"

"Only if Gaz authorizes it. But the device is reasonably sure that she will, if she trusted you to come get it in the first place."

"Are you sure it was really that important to Gaz in the first place?" Dib couldn't help but press, "She must have been really little when she made that promise, and people change as they grow..." He was pretty sure Gaz at least cared about their planet as much as him for the sake of the creature comforts she enjoyed, but she was so mysterious, it was hard to tell now that he knew she'd been hiding something this big from him all along.

"She must have had something equally important to do on Earth." The device deduced.

Zim growled in annoyance, but before he could chime in, Dib went ahead and said what he knew Zim was going to say. "Yeah, right. She probably just wanted stay home playing video games and eating pizza..."

Suddenly, the sphere turned red and actually scolded him, it's voice now sounding more sentient, even somewhat maternal, rather than robotic. "Dib, your sister loves you just as much as you still love her deep down, even though you BOTH never showed it very well. Don't underestimate her. There's a reason your mother chose her for this task instead of you."

"Ouch. Right in the feel-maker." Zim commented with a grin.

Dib glared over at him. "Will you PLEASE shut up, Zim? This IS kind of important to me." Then he turned back to the orb. "Then I guess if you're so sure about that, then there must be a GOOD reason Gaz 'sent' me."

"This has yet to be determined. But the machine deduces that with its assistance, it is more likely than not."

Dib rolled is eyes and crossed his arms, still petulant from his scolding. "Pft. Sure. Whatever. Lets just get to this already - What's edible around here - Oh, and, uh, is there something I can call you besides 'device' or...?"

"You may call me whatever you wish to." The orb responded.

Dib only had to think about it for a few seconds, "What was my mother's name?" He was saddened to realize he didn't know that, and hoped that it too wasn't classified.

"Your mother passed her name to your sister, so it was also Gazlene." The glow turned to deep purple, like the color Gaz sometimes dyed her hair when she got sick of her usual magenta.

"Huh, weird..." Well he couldn't name the machine after his mother and also his sister, so with a shrug he decided, "Eh, I guess I'll just call you Orby then."

"Temporary name accepted."

Tired of not being the center of attention, Zim shoved Dib with a growl, "Yes, yes, this is all very life-changing for you. But now lets focus on getting back to our own dimension-You CAN really do that, right 'Orby'?" He focused his scowl upon the device.

"In theory. Which is better chances than you've got without me." Orby replied coolly. "But first, there are a few chores you'll need to complete before you leave this planet..."

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Yoogli's ship had not fared well from the crash, and it had been enduring the elements for far too long to boot. There was no way to repair it completely, the only thing that could be done was to salvage as many spare parts as possible and store them aboard Zim and Dib's Dual-Craft, just in case they were needed later.

While Zim and Yoogli worked on doing this, Orby assisted Dib in collecting raw materials from their surroundings. In particular, she instructed him to collect several buckets of sap from the giant grass blades nearby, and only from the young plants that hadn't yet been hacked into by bugs and birds. Orby explained that the sap was edible, but it was better used as a balm for the skin, and that it had healing properties for wounds.

Yoogli also led them to an area not much further beyond his ship where a kind of berry bush was growing. The stems and leaves were prickly, and they bore berries that were shaped like limes. Some were green like limes too, but more were red, which Yoogli told them were the ripe ones. Dib selected one of the brightest red berries, rubbed it clean on his shirt, and nibbled off one of the ends first. It tasted like an extra tart cherry-plum, with just a slightly bitter aftertaste. Dib tossed the rest of it in his mouth and scrunched his nose up a bit at the sour sweetness, relishing the odd taste before reluctantly swallowing.

Just a bit beyond that there was another fruit-bearing plant, a tree this time, with arrow-shaped lavender leaves and white bark. Lots of patches of lavender flowers surrounded the trees, which Dib realized was where the floral scent had been coming from. The fruit on the trees were about as big and round as oranges, with dark indigo skin, almost like a gigantic blueberry. When Dib cut it down the middle, the flesh inside was white with with blue seeds throughout. It had the consistency of an apple, and it also tasted somewhat like an apple, but with notes of something similar to blueberry and lavender.

They collected as much as they could and loaded it all aboard the ship, then set course for space. Orby told them that they would be traveling onwards and outwards for at least six months before they reached the general area where it would give them further instruction on how to get back to their own dimension.

Dib and Zim would usually pick fights to pass the time, but Yoogli would become skittish whenever they started getting hostile with each other, so for his sake Dib kept it to a minimum. Especially because, although Yoogli hadn't hugged Zim again like he promised he wouldn't, he had been constantly hovering as close to Zim as he could get away with. When he overstepped his boundaries, he tried to offer Zim assistance in whatever he was doing.

Zim quickly got quite sick of it, and only a few weeks into their journey, he suddenly snapped at the shorter Irken one day after catching him trying to inch his way close enough to touch shoulders with him. "Will you GET AWAY from me, you annoying, needy little shrimp?! What is wrong with you?!"

What was actually wrong with Yoogli was more than just extreme loneliness. Yoogli had disappeared at a critical point in an Irken's life, more or less the age of puberty. Irken growth hormones were stimulated most by physical contact with other Irkens, which was usually achieved simply by brushing by one another when their masses congregated together. Zim's growth had been supplemented by human hormones in their absence, but Yoogli had been completely isolated for years, which explained why he was still so short and why he was so needy. He subconsciously craved contact with his fellow Irken, and the rejection was almost too painful to bear. Only the prospect of seeing other Irkens soon gave him the hope to go on, but he sulked around the edges of the room after that.

Dib felt bad for the little alien. It was understandable why Zim had always been such an extraordinary jerk to him, but it was hard to get why he was acting this way towards his own brother, other than just the casual touching. One night, after Zim had retired to his quarters (which he refused to share with Yoogli) for the night, Dib came out of his room and met Yoogli in the main control room. The poor thing was curled up on the floor with his only spare blanket, staring out into space.

His antennae perked up as Dib approached him and he looked over. Dib gave him a shy smile and raised a hand in greeting, "Fashla."

The Irken slowly smiled back, and shook his head. "Vashla. V-V-Vashla." He corrected the human.

"Oh. Vashla." Dib corrected himself afterwards, and then came over and sat next to the alien, leaving a few feet between them.

Until now, Yoogli hadn't paid Dib much heed, as he'd been too busy trying in vain to get Zim's attention instead. Instinctively he didn't trust the human, especially because of his affiliation with Zim, but also because from what Zim had told him, he wasn't even the right 'Membrane' that Orby had spoken to him of. But the creature seemed friendly, and Orby had accepted him, so Yoogli decided to give him a chance. Beggars couldn't be choosers, after all.

He stared up and down at the human-thing, especially at his hands. Dib noticed and held one up for the Irken to inspect. The green being reached up and traced all five of Dib's fingers with one of his. "Dahl lakt..." He murmured to himself in Irken.

"Hand?" Dib guessed, then tried again, wiggling the digits at Yoogli. "Or, fingers?"

"Fingers." Yoogli confirmed. "Five fingers, you have."

"Dahl?" Dib held up one finger, then all five. "Or, lakt?"

Yoogli stared at him uncertainly for a few seconds, but then he seemed to make up his mind, and shook his head. "...Dahl. Flib, wik, som, rak, dahl." He counted off Dib's fingers one at a time.

"One, two, three, four, five..." Dib repeated, his lips stretching into a grin. Then he hesitantly held up another finger on the next hand. "Six?"

They ended up exchanging various simple Irken words all night, mostly numbers and body parts and food, whatever was nearby. Dib soaked in the new information like a sponge, whilst Yoogli was just glad to have someone around him, who actually wanted to be there.

But soon enough Zim started to stir in his quarters and gripe at GIR for drawing something on him while he slept, and Dib knew he wouldn't be happy to see him and Yoogli getting along, so he asked the shorter Irken before he retreated to his own room, "It is okay if we do this again tomorrow night?"

Yoogli nodded right away, then reached up and brushed his fingers against Dib's. Dib briefly caught and squeezed the two skinny digits, which were cool against his warmer flesh. The alien blushed a little, then Dib quickly released them before heading back to his own room.

The next night Dib came out again once Zim had retired, just as he'd promised, eager for his next lesson. They did the same thing every night, using the ship's computer with the volume down to it's lowest settings to bring up new pictures and label them with their Irken word. Yoogli also taught him Irken writing and a few basic things about Irken etiquette.

One night, he was teaching Dib the rules about casual touching. "It's never okay to directly touch or grab the lekku-" This apparently was their word for their 'antennae'. "Or touch anyone else with your lekku, without the other Irken's permission... So I guess it's no wonder Zim wants nothing to do with me." The alien suddenly sighed. The lessons had helped him forget about that embarrassing moment for a while, but now it all came back to him. "I still can't believe I did that to ZIM..." He groaned, blushing bright pink.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up over it." Dib advised him. "Zim's a jerk, he makes a big deal out of little things all the time. It's completely understandable why you'd want to be close to another member of your species after being alone so long. Zim's the one I don't get - He's been gone almost as long as you have. You'd think he would have been just as glad to see you. I guess he's just an antisocial jerk everywhere he goes..."

Suddennly, Orby floated over to them, it's grooves glowing cyan-blue. "Yoogli's desire for touch is natural, he has nothing to be ashamed of for having those feelings. But Zim's desire not to be touched is just as valid. He must have his own reasons for feeling the way he does, and it should be respected."

Dib stared at the sphere, then slowly nodded. Most of the time Orby only spoke up to give them advice about the ship, or to warn them about hazards in space, or when GIR had mixed something inedible into their waffles, practical things like that. But sometimes, like just then, it seemed to give them the sort of advice that could be called 'maternal'. Or maybe that was just Dib projecting his feelings about his mother onto the device she'd made.

Still, he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess so..."

Yoogli went on to explain that brushing against other Irkens when walking through a crowd was acceptable, but that extended contact of any kind was only to be done with permission. Guiltily the alien then looked back at Dib, "Um, sorry for touching your fingers the other day, by the way. I was curious, but I still should have asked."

Dib shook his head, "It's okay. I didn't mind."

Yoogli's cheeks burned a brighter pink, and hesitantly, he went on, "Then... Would you, uh, that is-Well, you've been an excellent student so far, so I was wondering, uh..." Dib raised an eyebrow at him and motioned for him to just spit it out. Yoogli blushed harder than ever as he forced himself to ask in a fierce whisper, "C-Can I please embrace you like a comrade?"

Dib blushed back as he finally heard the request, but the prospect actually didn't bother him at all. Hugging was supposed to be a normal thing among humans too, though obviously Dib didn't have much experience with it either. He'd only been hugged by his father on a few occasions, by Gretchen a few times after and during their awkward kissing sessions, and once, he'd gotten a quick one-armed hug from Gaz when he'd unexpectedly decided to give her a bouquet of purple tulips on her sixteenth birthday, instead of the usual tired plush animal or video game. That was it, but that was probably still a lot more experience than the average Irken had with such things. So he simply nodded, and got down to his knees so they could reach each other, opening his arms in invitation.

Yoogli immediately accepted the invitation, falling against Dib's chest and nuzzling his face against the crook of his neck. Like his fingers had been the other day, the rest of his skin was cool to the touch. Irkens weren't naturally cold-blooded though - Yoogli was just accustomed to being cold and isolated. But he craved Dib's warmth and he soaked it in, snaking his skinny arms around his midsection. A little awkwardly, Dib loosely wrapped his much bigger arms around the little alien's back and shoulders. There was no denying how weird it was, this alien who looked so much like Zim being so affectionate with him, but it was also rather enjoyable, in a strictly platonic way.

After a moment or two Dib began to wonder how much longer Yoogli wanted this to go on, and just as he was thinking this the alien went on to ask him, "Would it be okay if I slept next to you for just a few minutes?"

Dib nodded silently, lying down on the floor of the ship while Yoogli got comfortable snuggling against his chest. Dib was planning on waking the alien up after a few minutes, but soon Yoogli's cool skin became as warm as his, he found himself getting comfortable, and after a few moments more, Dib had unintentionally fallen asleep himself.

They shared a nice nap, but unfortunately they were awoken from it quite rudely when Zim came out of his quarters, for once silently as GIR had been taking a nap itself when it's master awoke, and discovered the two of them still sleeping. At first he simply stared for a moment, multiple negative feelings brewing inside of him for both the human and his comrade. It was partially his own fault - He'd been stubbornly evading Dib almost as much as Yoogli ever since the human had saved him from the snake - An error he resolved to never repeat. He hated to be reminded of his weaknesses and shortcomings almost as much as he hated being touched by clingy, annoying 'comrades'.

But this was too much, from both of them. Mustering a deep growl, he then stomped over to the two of them and shrieked, "WHAT is this ABOMINATION?!"

Yoogli's eyes immediately went wide and fearful, but Dib only rubbed at his own still-tired eyes, unimpressed with what he saw as one of Zim's usual overreactions. "Ugh, Zim, will you please shut-"

Suddenly, Zim reached down and grabbed the back of Yoogli's shirt, and threw him off of Dib and across the room. Then, before Dib could protest what he'd done to the poor little Irken, Zim reached down and sealed his mouth with his hand, "NO, YOU shut up, DIB!" Then he got back up and advanced quickly on Yoogli using his spider legs.

Yoogli tried to back away, but once his back hit the wall, Zim had him trapped. "DIB doesn't get why what you just did was so DISGUSTING, Yoogli, but you do! You know what you did is only acceptable with fellow Irkens! You will explain yourself NOW!" He ordered, dragging the little alien up to his feet but still keeping him pinned against the wall with his spider legs.

Yoogli sputtered uselessly for a moment, which made Zim angrier. He put a claw to Yoogli's neck menacingly, and he finally blurted out, "I don't need to explain myself, because I am convinced that Dib Membrane is an Irken hybrid, and therefore it IS acceptable for me to share simple affections with him!"

Zim's eyes went wide and be backed away a few steps at Yoogli's unexpected and downright insane declaration. "You. Are. CRAZY!" He yelled back at him.

And Dib yelled back at him awkwardly in the Irken Yoogli had been teaching him, "No he is not, Zim! He does not need to explain to you his actions and he could be right!"

Zim advanced again and reached to strike Yoogli, and Dib rushed at him and held him back. Still, Zim screeched at the poor little alien, "You've been teaching him Inner Irken?!" It was the language comrades used among each other versus the 'Outer' version of Irken they used with other species. "You'd better be sure you're right about your insane claim, Yoogli, because what you just did will get you executed if you're wrong!"

"Yes, I do know that, but I am sure of it!" Yoogli shot back, "That exact rule is why I'm sure of it, because Orby has been speaking to me in Inner Irken all along! So the creator of Orby, who is Dib's maternal unit, must have been Irken!"

Dib's eyes went wide at Yoogli's claim, then he turned them towards Orby. "Is what he's saying true? You have to tell me if he's right!" He demanded irrationally.

But the sphere actually admitted after a short pause, "...Affirmative."

Zim stopped struggling against Dib's hold, in shock, as he heard it, and in similar shock, Dib let him go soon after. Zim mumbled, "It can't be... He doesn't look anything like an Irken at all!" He pointed out fairly.

Dib suddenly retreated to his quarters. Zim was about to follow after him, but he came out just a second later with an electric razor he'd been using to shave his daily stubble. Instead, this time he sat with his head over a waste bin, and with only the slightest hesitation, he began shaving all of the hair off of his skull.

Ever since he was a kid his father would periodically cut his hair for him on the few occasions he ever saw him in person. He had always insisted on it as a bonding ritual, as his father chose to 'style' his hair the same way. But now, as each strip of hair fell away, Dib slowly realized that, like most of the things his father had ever told him, was a lie.

Underneath the hair that grew over it, his 'scythe' had been hiding a single lekku.

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	5. Chapter 5

The Sacrifice

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After Dib had finished shaving all of the hair away from the strange new appendage, which was black just like his hair and felt rather like a super-skinny and smooth rat-tail, Zim demanded of him, "Wait, you seriously never felt that thing before?"

"Not really?" Dib answered helplessly, actually touching it bare for the first time. But he couldn't really feel anything until he tugged on it, and he still couldn't distinguish it from the feeling of simply tugging on a lock of hair. "I can barely feel it now..." Then again, it was hard to focus with how his heart was pounding and his mind was reeling with all the questions and feelings that came with this new information.

Yoogli spoke up in a bit of a sputter, "M-May I see it?"

Zim gasped outright at the smaller Irken, "How DARE you-?!"

And Yoogli quickly squeaked back at him, "It's NOT like THAT! I used to be a medic before I became an Invader, remember!"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Quit freaking out, Zim. Mine doesn't feel anything like what yours are supposed to. Go ahead, Yoogli, I trust you."

Yoogli stepped forward, but Zim pushed him back. "NO! ZIM will do it!"

Dib raised a doubtful eyebrow at him, "Were YOU a medic, Zim? Do you know what you're even looking for?"

Zim blushed and quickly turned on Yoogli to avoid the embarrassment of answering the question himself, "Do YOU know what you're even looking for?"

"Well, yeah, kind of?" Yoogli replied with a 'duh' sort of expression. "If he can't feel it there's only one reason I can think of, but I'd have to check under the base of his lekku to confirm it."

"-I- will do it!" Zim insisted.

But Yoogli insisted right back, "Only if Dib says you can!" And he hit a nerve there. Zim had been bossing him around for being shorter, but short or tall, that was one rule everyone had to obey.

Zim growled and forced himself to ask Dib as politely as he could, "DIB-WORM - May I, for scientific research purposes ONLY, touch your lekku?"

Dib's doubtful eyebrow had never really come down, and he shook his head in disbelief at first, a grin slowly stretching across his face. If he didn't know any better he could swear Zim was getting jealous. That was too rich. Well, why not let him? It wasn't as if it would hurt anymore than usual if he decided to be an asshole and pull it. "Fine, Zim, whatever, I guess..."

Even after getting permission, Zim hesitated. He had never touched any other lekku but his own, let alone some freaky, mutated lekku that just happened to be sprouting out of his greatest enemy-turned-friend's head. But he refused to let Yoogli be the first Irken to touch the Dib's lekku, either. In his head, he had more than earned the 'honor' after everything they'd been through over the years - And this WAS purely for research purposes. Dib claimed that he couldn't even feel it, after all, so there nothing... Weird about this at all.

Still, his green hand was shaking slightly and the blush never left his cheeks as he reached out towards the newly-revealed appendage. He at first grasped it lightly at at the tip, as if he was handling a weird snake. "Gross, why is it so limp...?" He mumbled.

Dib glared at him and Yoogli answered, "Pull it up a little more so I can see..."

Zim queasily did as he was asked, and soon both Irkens were covering their mouths to stifle a gag, thoroughly grossed out by what they saw. Yoogli flinched in disgust as he confirmed, "It's what I thought..."

After taking a moment to recover, Yoogli reached up and pulled one of his own lekku down for Dib to see. He pointed to the underside of his at the base of his skull, where a curved groove sat underneath the base of the antennae. "This is a vital part of our lekku. It keeps it rigid, but it's also where the largest amount of nerves is concentrated, so it's what allows us to feel the lekku and the signals we get from it... But it seems..." Yoogli had to take a moment to stifle another gag. "Yours was, in infancy... C-Cut." He forced the word out like it actually tasted bad saying it.

Dib's eyes went wide. There was barely about doubt as to who had done it, by how grossed out the Irkens were about it, his mother surely never would have, so it had to be his 'father'. The only man he'd ever had as a role model, the man who supposedly was one of Earth's greatest intellectual assets, was turning out to be a pretty abhorrent individual in Dib's opinion. Oh, he'd probably say he did it for 'Dib's own good', but fuck that, it was Dib's body, not his, and he should have been honest instead of hiding it from him and trying to pass him off as human. Which he still mostly was, but he mind raced wondering now, what else?

"Why not just cut the whole thing off?" Dib asked morbidly, but also genuinely curious, so he wasn't proud afterward of how Yoogli and Zim both turned and doubled over for a moment, clutching their spooches.

It was Zim that recovered first and snapped back at him, "The shock of having a lekku completely removed would kill any smeet! And most adults..." He reluctantly added. Of all the various tortures Dib had inflicted on him, the shoves, kicks, punches and all else, the worst by far had been the few times when he'd gotten it in his big dumb head to pull on his lekku.

Realizing it too, Dib felt a little guilty about that now. But thankfully, Yoogli spoke up before he could dwell on it too long. "Zim, Dib, could you guys do one more test? Zim, I need you to rub a bit at the area that was cut, and Dib, I need you to tell me if there is any remaining sensation. There shouldn't be, it's probably long since healed over..."

Zim looked unsure, but Dib just sighed and shrugged. "Go ahead, Zim. Or if you're too grossed out, I'm sure Yoogli wouldn't mind-"

He knew he wouldn't have to finish that sentence. Zim immediately reached over again, taking the tip and holding it up with one hand, and with the index finger of his second hand, he felt down the underside of it, reluctant to immediately touch the actual injured area. Dib couldn't really feel where Zim was holding the tip at all, but when his finger had reached the bottom of the underside, an electric feeling started to go up and down his spine. At first it was mostly like a forced shiver, no pleasure or pain associated, just a vague discomfort since it couldn't be controlled.

But the closer Zim got to the cut area, the more intense it got. When he was nearly at the base, his back was rigid and his head was starting to throb with a fast-growing headache. He was about to mention it to Yoogli, but suddenly, when Zim finally touched the cut spot, a literal electric spark went off between them, shocking the both of them.

Zim yelped, scurried back, and quickly pulled his singed finger back into his mouth to cool it. Besides the momentary shock he was fine. But Dib was now rolling on the ground howling in excruciating pain. His head felt like it was splitting for a moment, and it felt like every nerve, every vein in his body was being individually electrocuted. The pain shocked him over again about three times, and then the fourth was more like a throb. It was still painful, but not as overwhelming as it was before. The shock had been white-hot and unbearably painful, while the throb was an uncomfortable heat and moderately painful. It was like a pulsing bruise throughout his body, but not so bad as to cause him to cry out again, though he did groan.

Then, in only a matter a seconds, the lingering pain just as quickly turned into an equally overwhelming sense of euphoria. All the nerves that had just been shocked now felt as if they were simultaneous being massaged by microscopic fingers. Dib's spine rolled involuntarily with electric shivers, and his head, well frankly, it felt like there was a gigantic rave going on inside.

But it was too overwhelmingly good to actually be enjoyed, especially because of how fast and unexpectedly it had come on and in front of the present company. Dib struggled to regain control of his limbs and get out of there quickly. He fell the first time, and wobbled the second, before finally getting up and sprinting to his room, setting the door to lock-mode behind him. His face completely red and most of the rest of his skin bright pink, he tore off his clothes faster than he ever had in his life and dove beneath the covers of his bed.

Honest to god, he didn't even really want to do what his body was demanding of him - He literally needed to. And he couldn't even pretend he was thinking of Gretchen or Jessica or ANY of the girls from his high school, his mind was consumed, possessed, by thoughts of Zim. Thoughts of green skin writhing just like his was now, thoughts of his tongue sliding over ever inch of his alien body, especially his antennae, and oh god that was so weird and SO wrong, but his body responded to it like fuel to flame, and despite biting down hard on his pillow, the Irkens could still hear the uncontrollably loud groan.

Blushing brighter than he ever had in his life, Zim glared over at Yoogli, "Did you KNOW-?"

"I swear to Irk I didn't!" He squeaked back. Zim was about to reach over and smack him anyways, but the smaller Irken was saved when GIR suddenly fell on top of Zim's head and grabbed his cheeks, causing him to flail.

"MASTER~! WHYYYY IS DIIIIB MAKIN' BUFFALO NOISES?!"

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Dib didn't come out of his room for a full three days after that. Yoogli only once knocked, that night when Zim had retired to his own quarters, to inquire if he was alright. Dib stiffly responded that he was fine, but requested to be left alone for a while. Zim didn't try to talk to him at all.

When he finally did come out, he did so with a red face and his trenchcoat pulled tightly around his body. Zim was at the control panel, and when he saw Dib emerge, he immediately averted his eyes and growled a little. But Dib wouldn't let him get the first word in, he immediately spoke up, "Look, Zim! What happened the other day, was COMPLETELY -involuntary-! I had absolutely NO control over my body, okay!"

Zim looked back at him, his expression more than a little disgusted and embarrassed, but it was mostly in himself, and he actually wasn't as judgmental as Dib had expected him to be. "Ugh... I know, Dib, I believe you..." He replied as if he was just as mentally exhausted as Dib was, despite both of them getting plenty of sleep. "That sometimes happens if the lekku is touched gently - We didn't expect any of your nerves there to still be intact, but, uh, I guess some of them still are. But clearly faulty. Or that shock might have had something to do with it maybe, but we're still not sure what that was even about, never seen a lekku do that... Then again, we've never seen a case of someone having their lekku cut like yours was... Either way, I suggest we just not talk about what happened afterward ever again..." He concluded in an awkward rush.

Wow, he really lucked out on this one - Dib had expected Zim to never let him live it down. "Yeah, agreed..." He sighed right away and sat in the chair opposite from him, crossing his legs and trying to play it cool. Zim at least didn't know what he was thinking when it happened. Besides that, there was much more important things to think about. "It's still pretty hard to believe... All this time, I was an alien just like you..."

Zim glared at him, "Don't kid yourself, Dib-worm. You are NOT just like me. You are NOT an Irken just because you share some of our DNA. You are a Hybrid, and that comes with a -completely- different set of rules regarding your status in Irken society."

Dib didn't really care about Zim and his people's stupid rules, just like he never cared much for the rules humanity tried to impose on him either, but just out of curiousity he asked, rather derisively, "Like what?"

"Well first of all, you'd have to actually be accepted as a proper Hybrid, and you never would be!" Zim snapped back at him. "If all you got from your Irken DNA is a single lekku that doesn't even work right, it's just -not- gonna happen. I've never even seen an official Hybrid that didn't at least have green skin and two lekku. If the empire finds out about Yoogli teaching you Inner Irken without you being approved as an official Hybrid first, he'll probably still be executed..."

He conveniently declined to mention that technically, he too would be executed if the empire ever found out about what he'd caused Dib to experience. "As Yoogli said before, simple touches between Hybrids and pure Irkens is allowed, but sexual contact is strictly forbidden." He gave him a very intense stare that clearly translated to, 'So don't get any ideas.' "Though, sexual contact is forbidden even between pure Irkens too, unless it's been approved..." He added.

Dib just glared back, his face still red. "Who makes all these rules anyways? Your Tallest?" He guessed.

Zim reached over and flicked his ear. "No, idiot! The Tallest have the most influence over introducing new rules and getting rid of pre-existing ones, but it still has to be approved by the Control Brain."

He rubbed his ear but didn't reciprocate the violence. "Control Brain...?" Sounded like some straight-up Orwellian shit to Dib.

"Yes, the Control Brain!" Zim confirmed. "It decides the rules that we live by and governs over us via our PAKs!" Or at least, it was supposed to...

"So, a machine controls how you guys live your lives...?" Dib was starting to be pretty glad to have been born on Earth again.

"Duh! It's a Brain, and it Controls us! What's so hard to get about that?" Zim crossed his arms.

Dib's mouth fell open slightly. "Um... Everything? Like, why? Just why?"

"Eh?!" Zim glared at him, "You hypocrite - Don't you stinky worm-babies have your own stupid version of the Control Brain, 'Government'?"

Dib immediately shook his head, "Uh, no. I mean I guess it's close, but still. That's a bunch of stupid humans getting together and making rules - If it's a stupid rule you don't agree with, you don't have to follow it, you just got to make sure you don't get caught. But you're saying, a machine somewhere, actually literally controls how you live your life via the machine you are dependant on to live, and you have no problem with that...?"

"Exactly!" Zim nodded, "And by the way, this is why you'd never be accepted as an Irken, Dib. NO Irken would ever question the Control Brain."

"That's really not true, Zim..." Yoogli quietly spoke up from the back of the room.

Both Zim and Dib stared back at him in shock for a moment. Dib had begun to smile a little, hopeful for his mother's species, just before Zim declared, "You really have gone defective, Yoogli. You're SO going to get yourself executed when we get back."

"Maybe I am defective!" Yoogli snapped back, suddenly more bold than usual. "And a coward too, because I would have never been one of the ones who would speak out against the Control Brain if I weren't in another dimension where I'm sure it can't reach me... But I know there are some Irkens who oppose the Control Brain. Much more than that are like me too, they don't approve of it but they're too scared to speak their true thoughts aloud around the many who are fully under the influence of the Control Brain!"

"This is nonsense, Yoogli-" Zim began to talk over him, but this time, the shorter Irken wouldn't let him.

"NO, it's not, Zim! A lot of the rules imposed on us ARE stupid and unfair! And frankly, I'm really surprised you of all Irkens is saying this, because somehow you've managed to get away with breaking more rules than anybody! Especially that one time - Many of us know the truth, we know you were working for Tallest Red, and a lot of my best comrades were saved by your actions, but you KILLED Tallest Miyuki and Tallest Orange to get Tallest Red into power so he could change the rules about-Mmf!"

When Zim realized what he was getting at he very quickly and harshly clamped his hand over Yoogli's mouth, glaring intensely down at him. "Yoogli, if you ever speak of that matter again, I will leave you in this dimension to rot." He stated very seriously, making Yoogli turn pale with fear. Then Zim added, his voice both ice cold and heated with fury. "And besides, we both know the only reason you're bothering with the Dib-worm is because you're desperate. Once we're back in our dimension you know you'll abandon him for your real Irken comrades in a squee-beat."

Yoogli mouth dropped at the cruel comment, but he knew it stung more because Zim was mostly right. He longed to see his old best comrades, the ones he never realized he even had until he was sure he'd never see them again. What a fool he'd been, succumbing to his despair and trying to kill himself in that black hole - And like a coward, the second he actually crossed over into the darkness he immediately regretted it and wanted nothing more than to live to see his friends again. Now he finally had that chance, and he couldn't deny, as eternally grateful as he was to Dib for being there for him the last few months, and even more so to Orby for keeping him sane over the long years of solitude, neither of them would keep him from finding that one special Irken he really wanted to see.

But he refused to let Zim shame him for it, either. "Yes, I admit it, Zim - I want to see my best comrades again more than anything. But desperation is NOT the only reason I treated Dib like a comrade - He's actually just a genuinely nice being, unlike you!" He glared back up at the taller Irken defiantly, and when he began to speak again, this time he was speaking Inner Irken, quickly and quietly so that Dib couldn't catch what was being said, "So if you just happen to like him yourself, you really ought to start showing it, because if you think you're the only Irken in -trillions- who would be interested in Dib - Well, -I- wouldn't bet on those odds, comrade. And you can hit me if you want," He added in a hiss as Zim's hand twitched. "But I'll still be right and I bet Dib would agree with me, too."

Yoogli's words struck Zim harder than a fist ever could, and right in the feel-maker. He actually hadn't ever considered that other Irkens might find interest in Dib, and it didn't settle well with him at all, though he refused to admit why just yet.

Zim hissed fiercely back in Inner Irken, "Teach him whatever you want about our culture, and it'll be on YOUR head for doing so, but if I catch you saying anything about me to him, or touching him again at ALL, I will -maim- you." Threatening another Irken was almost unheard of, but Zim had had it up to his lekku with the uppity shrimp.

Yoogli wasn't about to press Zim any further than that, and quickly retreated away from him. Dib also returned to his own room, but not before getting in the last word, "You know, Zim, I put a lot of trust in you the other day, letting you touch my lekku... I kinda wish you'd trust me back." Then before Zim could reply, he shut the door behind him.

Zim sighed, thinking, 'Great...' As if he needed another reason to regret doing almost everything he'd ever done in his life...

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Dib was sleeping peacefully a few months later, when he was suddenly woken up by Orby flashing colored lights in his face. "Dib, wake up. You are needed to perform a task."

He groaned lightly and then yawned, reluctantly getting up from his cot and running a hand through his hair, which was growing back although it hadn't reached it's previous length yet. He felt for his lekku underneath. No noticeable changes had occured. It was still hard to feel except for the very bottom of the underside, but nobody was going to chance touching that part again after what happened the last time. "Whadya need, Orby..." He asked past another yawn, still waking up.

"Follow me, Dib." The device replied seriously, floating out the open door. Dib obeyed and followed after it, and it led him to the control panel. Yoogli was sleeping against a wall nearby, which meant Zim was probably sleeping too, while the ship was on autopilot. Orby then instructed him, "Dib, I need you to move the ship slightly Northeast forty thousand miles ahead and then head in that direction."

"What." Dib dropped the word in immediate confusion, looking out across the screen and using his new Irken vocabulary to identify what was beyond. Going in the direction Orby was telling him to would lead them into another black hole. "You've got to be kidding me..."

"I'm afraid it's the only way, Dib." Orby replied regrettably. "Whenever there is a wormhole to get into a dimension, there has to be at least one other that leads out of it again. But this is the only one in all of this dimension that will lead you back to your own. And unfortunately, it will be much harder to get back than it was getting here. This black hole is much more turbulent than the last. Your chances were about fifty-fifty last time, this time, the odds of you surviving, even with Orby's help, is slightly less than ten percent."

"Shit..." Dib hissed through his teeth. It was terrifying enough to go through a black hole when he had no choice, but to actually do it purposefully knowing the chances were that dire? Well, it was a huge leap of faith Orby was asking of him, to say the least.

"This is also why the device woke you before Zim awoke. He would very likely object and try to stop you, but it IS the -only- way. So you must hurry before Zim wakes up and realizes what you're doing."

"Uh, no, hold on - Fuck that." Dib glared defiantly at the machine, "I'm kinda not so sure I want to do that myself? At least, not until you tell me a few more things. Don't give me that 'classified' bullshit because I'm not going to do this unless you tell me what I want to know - And I have a right to know! I'm just as much her offspring as Gaz!"

The device didn't reply, the purple glow only turned to a slightly more magenta hue. So Dib went on, "Why did our mother leave us to come to this dimension? What is threatening the Earth? Why was Gaz so important to her but not me, why choose her, probably the most selfish person in the world, to save the Earth and not me? I would do it in a heartbeat and Gaz obviously didn't want to be here! And most of all, why on Earth did you choose to create me and Gaz with my father and then leave us?" That part had been bugging him especially, and he couldn't hide the thickness of pain and anger in his voice.

Orby suddenly stopped glowing, it's levitation seemed to power down and it floated to the ground with a soft 'thump'. Then, from a circular groove directly at the top of the sphere, a ghostly holographic figure emerged. An Irken female, with rare golden-brown eyes and pale olivine skin, and of a rather tall height for an Irken, about 5'9. Dib had to stare at her eyes in particular for more than a moment - His eyes were a darker, chocolate brown, but he remembered his sister's eyes having that sort of golden hue...

And the look in his mother's eyes - They were stern with him, but also full of regret and disappointment in herself. "...Alright Dib, if you really want to know." She resigned, her voice now sounding almost completly like her old self, with barely any metallic hint left to her tone. "First of all, in regards to creating you and your sister... My consent was not a factor."

Dib's eyes went wide and he covered his mouth in shock. And here he had thought he couldn't hate his father any more than he already did...

Gazlene's spectre went on without his opinion of her past plight. "I was the first Irken to ever land on your planet, and I paid a high toll for it... But you should know first how I came there. On Irk, my eye color is considered inferior to all others, so I was already resented for having my height in my eye color caste. But I was different from other Irkens in another way too. I was a rare defect of Irken that was not properly connected to the Control Brain. I loved to study technology and science, but I had another passion, one that was supposed to be hidden and forbidden - Tajik!" She exclaimed reverently, and though Yoogli had never said such a word, Dib immediately know instinctively that it was their word for 'magic'.

"Since I was a smeet I experienced weird happenings that most other Irkens couldn't, wouldn't, understand or try to explain... I learned early not to scare them with my oddities for my own sake. But I embraced my differences in secret, and I studied every recorded paranormal phenomenon that existed on my planet, met some of the few others like me... But it wasn't nearly enough. For such a massive planet, Irk has very little tajik. Most planets are the same, tajik is usually small resource. So in my spare time, I created a machine that searched for tajik. As you well know, the planet Irk is massive compared to your home planet. And yet strangely, this tiny little mudball had more tajik than anywhere else I'd ever seen, more than a hundred times more than Irk. I had to see this strange place for myself. I was not allowed to leave my station as a research scientist at that time, but I did it anyways..."

Then, the look in Gazlene's eyes turned sadder than ever. "I abandoned my own home planet to come to yours... But the second my ship passed your atmosphere, I was seized by a terrible tajik. It was terrifying - My ship went completely dead and fell into an ocean, I was trapped. Then a horrible creature, with curled horns and sharp teeth and hateful, hungry eyes manifested itself in my ship, bounding me with a tajik much stronger than my own. It said it was one of the guardians of planet Earth, and that as of the first of my kind to trespass on this planet, I owed it a sacrifice, or else I and all future Irkens to visit Earth would be killed. I had no choice but to agree. The next thing I knew, I was bound instead in the laboratory of Professor Membrane..."

Now fury was gathering in his mother's voice, "...He took my DNA from me and combined it with his own. He created several copies until two stable ones emerged. Then he forcibly used my body to incubate them..." Dib burned with shame knowing this terrible truth, while his mother went on, "The demon guardian visited me once more, just before the HORRID birth-" Her spirit shuddered visibly at that memory. Her species obviously didn't typically do things that way anymore, and it was especially traumatizing to have been forced to do it. "And it told me that I would be the one to pick which would be the sacrifice, and which would be spared..."

Gazlene shook her head with regret. "When you two were born..." Dib suddenly realized as she said this, Gaz was never his 'little sister' after all, another of his father's lies - They were actually more like twins. "I looked at you both, and I didn't even have to think about it before I chose. The girl looked more like me, but you... You looked just like -him-." Her voice was so full of hate. Dib knew it was more for his father, it still hurt to know he caused her pain too. "So I chose you to be the sacrifice..."

Dib swallowed painfully and lowered his head while his mother's ghost continued to explain, "Apparently, your planet needs at least four sacrificed souls at a time to continue it's frail and constantly teetering existence. One of these souls is chosen to be driven to madness at a time, and it collects the energy of stolen souls to feed to the Earth's tajik forces, sort of like a cannibal. Without this recycling process, the tajik on Earth would become unstable and destroy the planet. Your father was supposed to be one of these sacrifices, but apparently he sold his soul to the guardian to avoid his fate and have someone else take his place."

Jesus fucking Christ, Dib thought, could he get any worse? Reproductive raping the first Irken to ever come to Earth, then forcing her to bear a child so he could basically sacrifice it to what sounded a lot like the DEVIL?

But apparently he could indeed get worse, as his mother continued, "The first year after the birth, the professor tried to keep me. He disguised me as a human and paraded me around as his wife. I despised it, I loathed him and I NEEDED to get away. No matter how beautiful and special your planet was, I couldn't appreciate it as a prison. I wanted to bring Gaz with me, but I couldn't, I was barely able to get my craft away from your father and escape by myself. Your sister always had superior Irken intelligence, and I taught her early how to speak with me. She promised to come after me when she was older and stronger, and in the meantime, I searched for a new source of tajik."

Dib finally interrupted, "You weren't scared to go looking again after what happened on Earth?"

"I guess I should have been." Gazlene answered sadly. "But I was power-hungry. Somehow, giving birth to you and Gaz made my natural tajik abilities ten times stronger than they had ever been. As terrifying as my experience on Earth was, what I gained from it astounded me, and I wanted more. My device detected a huge source of tajik beyond the black hole, and desperate for the power I desired, and feeling at the time like I had nothing else to live for, I went in search of it. I made it to the planet where the tajik had originated from, and my tajik grew so much so fast my body could barely contain it. It was everything I ever wanted, I suddenly knew things about the past and the future. But the power came with a catch - I finally had enough tajik to do what I always wanted most to do, but I barely survived the experience, and I knew I wouldn't for long. I knew my weakened mortal body wouldn't last long enough to be reunited with my daughter, so I had to use my remaining time wisely to leave her a legacy worth seeking instead..."

"Orby?" Dib guessed unnecessarily. "But she said you..."

"I was already dying, but I took control of my own fate at the last moment - I had to, to transplant my memories, my tajik, and my very spirit, into the device." She explained shortly, then looked soulfully down at her son. "Dib... If I had known then what I know now, I would have wanted to choose you instead. You look just like him, but you're really nothing like him at all... You've got a caring soul." Dib was starting to feel himself tear up before she even added, "...I'm proud of you." And then he couldn't fight them any longer.

"However," Gazlene went on seriously, "I -still- would have had to do things just the way I did. Gaz has an unprecedented amount of tajik, more than I've ever seen in a single mortal being. Only she has the power to achieve my life's greatest purpose. But she sent you instead. You see Dib, the only way it would even be possible for you to leave Earth's atmosphere alive is if your sister willingly took your place as the sacrifice. She promised she'd help me achieve my dream, and I want to believe she meant it, but it's clear to me now that protecting you from the fate I so selfishly imposed on you was just as important to her..."

Dib still wasn't sure he could bring himself to believe his sister had actually always been just as altruistic as she was selfish. Fuck being part alien and his mom being a ghost-in-a-robot - Gaz being nice, that was the part that was really blowing his mind. "Then, the force that's threatening Earth..." Dib focused on instead, beginning to guess at it himself.

"The so-called guardian of Earth." Gazlene confirmed. "Gaz will not endure being under his control any longer than she needs to. As soon as I realized she sent you and took your place, I knew what it would mean. She will only tolerate her role under him as long as she needs to gather her strength. I am sure your sister could probably become strong enough to defeat the evil one who is in charge of the destructive tajik system the Earth runs on and who chooses it's sacrifices, but I am not sure if she would be able to create something in it's place to control the Earth's massive tajik flow. If she cannot, you must take your place as sacrifice back, and give the device to her so she can fulfill her promise."

Dib's tears were starting to dry, and new ones weren't joining them. He just felt kind of numb now. Deep down he always wanted to believe there was just a little love between him and his sister, but he'd always had very strong doubts about it too, and despite everything he'd just heard, he still did. "But, Gazlene..." He went on, using her name since we was not sure if she'd appreciate him calling her 'mom'. "What if Gaz really doesn't want to do what you asked her, what if she wants to stay on Earth?" He couldn't help but wonder if his mother's spirit wanted to believe in Gaz's goodness because she 'looked more like her', just like she'd resented Dib for resembling Professor Membrane. Which made Dib realize, apparently Gaz didn't really look like what he thought she had all his life. He concluded, "And, what IS it you wanted her to help you do?"

The spirit sighed a breath it could no longer really take. "...If Gaz does not wish to help me after all, my life will go unfulfilled, and you will be free. No one else but your sister has the power to manifest the legacy I left to her and fulfill my fondest but most impossible dream... As for what that dream of mine was..."

The holographic image faded away for a moment, but her voice remained, "Steer the ship towards the black hole, and I swear I'll tell you..."

Dib took a deep, slow and shaky breath, approaching the control panel and setting it's new course. The gravitational pull became stronger by the second, quickly pulling them closer to the pitch black disc of emptiness. Just before they reached the event horizon, Dib looked expectantly back at the device.

Gazlene's image reappeared one last time, but it was flickering, struggling to maintain itself. It must have taken a cosiderable amount of tajik to manifest her spirit to talk to him. But her spectre was smiling at her son, full of pride and gratitude. "Thank you, Dib... I will now tell you my dream, which I dearly hope you and Gaz can work together to help me fulfill. I hope you can save both our planets, countless humans and Irkens alike, and many other planets and species too. My dream was..."

Her image faded away completely and Orby rose into the air once more, glowing purplish-red. "...To destroy the Control Brain."

The blackness swallowed them, and the ship began to violently shake.

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	6. Chapter 6

The Puppet

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Dib's torso slammed against the controls as the ship lurched forward in the darkness, spinning and hitting unknown debris along the way while being pulled down in a massive drain. He could hear the ship creaking, as the metal itself was being stretched.

Dib clutched onto whatever he could, willing the ship by thought alone, please just stay in one piece, please come out of the other side, please let everyone come out of this alive...

But then, abruptly, the ship came to such a sudden stop, Dib's whole body slammed against the dash and front window. For a moment, in the disorientation of the impact and the terror of the unknown, he thought for a brief second that they surely had just been compressed into a singularity. But the lucky fool had merely smacked his head too hard.

While under his dizzy spell, Dib thought he could see his mother's spirit again, hovering above him and urging him, "Dib, get up. Wake up. Get to your knees and bow." She instructed him seriously. Dib groaned and struggled to move. He felt sore all over and extremely heavy, as if his bones were made of lead. He managed to obey her, though it took him what felt like hours.

When he was finally on his hands and knees, looking down and out the window into the black stillness, he felt a strange and sudden sensation, as if the darkness he was looking at, was looking back at him, and it was scarier than hell. Dib suddenly realized that the ship was suspended in a nosedive at the very bottom of the black hole. He had one chance to get right whatever he had to, and if he didn't, they really would be crushed into a singularity, pulverized by their own ship.

The darkness suddenly asked Dib and Gazlene, completely silent but also roaring louder than a thousand oceans, directly into their minds, their very souls, 'DO YOU THINK YOURSELVES GODS? HAVE YOU THE MERIT TO JUSTIFY YOUR SUPREME ARROGANCE?'

Gazlene spoke up first for Dib, who was grateful for that, because he really had no idea how to answer that, and he was more than a little distracted by the blood he knew should be running down his face, but felt instead like it was crawling, and the concussion making him think of such silly things at such a serious time. "Forgive us for our arrogance, but we swear we will justify it in time - We swear we will entertain you, just give us safe passage this one last time..."

'YOU WERE GIVEN SAFE PASSAGE BEFORE AND NOW YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO TEMPT FATE... WE DO APPRECIATE SUCH BOLDNESS.' The void admitted, and it felt as if it were smiling so large, it was big enough to consume them. 'JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN OFFER US...'

Gazlene growled like a purr back to the black expanse. "We're going to affect our entire multiverse. We're going to fight hoards and tame dragons, change minds and save lives. You WILL be entertained." She insisted.

Dib could suddenly feel the darkness staring directly and only at him, 'DO YOU THINK YOU CAN ENTERTAIN US, DIB MEMBRANE?'

Dib balled his fists, sticking a thumbs-up against the window, and forced himself to stretch his lips into a smile - The simple gesture that would normally take two seconds felt like it had taken ten minutes to achieve, and to his ears, his voice sounded like it was coming out in super slow motion, and felt like it was being strained through a colander to come out of his throat. "Suuure thiiing, noooo prooobleeem..." His answer wasn't sufficient, but it was all he could manage under the massive pressure he was fighting against.

Suddenly, from the corner of Dib's vision and just beyond Gazlene's specter, he saw GIR's eyes glowing in the dark. Strangely enough, his glow wasn't blue or even red, it was purple. He looked to be in serious mode, eyes narrowed. Then, to Dib's slowly-forming shock (even his emotions were going in slow-motion, it seemed) his sister Gaz's voice emerged from the pint-sized robot's metal mouth. "You'll be so fucking entertained you'd shit yourself if you had an anus."

"Gaaazzz...?" Dib groaned weakly in recognition.

"Shut up, Dib. I'm trying to save your stupid life here." Her voice snapped back at him irritably, and then she addressed the darkness once more. "I will conquer the conquerors, tame every beast that lives in darkness and light. I will rise above even my own mother's -astronomical- expectations. You'd better believe YOU, and several other species, will be VERY -entertained- by the time I'm done existing, to say the least. But I NEED the contents of this ship to do it..."

'THAT SOUNDS PROMISING... BUT THERE IS ONE MORE THING WE WANT TO BE DONE...' It wasn't clear who exactly was being addressed, but they all listened intently to the request, which seemed to take forever, as the disembodied voice groaned it out slowly, 'FAAAALL... IIIIN... LOOOOVE...'

"Ugh!" Gaz's voice groaned back as soon as she heard it, clearly less than pleased about the request, and the violet robot eyes got grumpy-looking too. "Come on, you've got to be kidding!"

The ship suddenly felt as if gigantic hands had taken it and shaken it. Dib knocked his big head against several things he couldn't even see, until Gaz's voice finally relented, "Alright, alright, I'll do it! Damn!" The robot fixed a terrifyingly intense stare at the human who was staring at it. "Dib, you owe me BIG TIME for this!"

The shaking didn't stop, and the feeling of falling resumed. The darkness droned one last word, the volume of the disembodied voice tapering away as they were sucked down the exact middle of the vortex. 'DEEEEAL...'

Dib smacked his head one last time on the way down, and then all of his sensations went dark.

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"Dib? Dib! Wake up!" Zim smacked Dib's cheeks lightly, and Dib's eyes flickered. Zim sounded kinda worried.

The human hybrid swallowed at his dry and thick throat and slowly forced his eyes to remain open, though he was still dizzy. "M' up..." He half-answered.

Zim took a breath of relief. "Good! STAY AWAKE now, smelly concussed Dib-fool!" He shouted right after, and then both he and Yoogli began to patch him up - Apparently they had a very temporary truce about Dib-touching only while he was severely injured, though they both looked pretty banged up and exhausted too. Waking up halfway through your only hour-long nap a day in the middle of falling down a black hole was probably about the rudest way to wake someone ever, Dib suddenly realized, and was doubly grateful for the help considering that.

The Irkens patched his head and everywhere else that was openly bleeding, thankfully though it was mostly bruises. Then they gave him some water, and he slowly began to feel himself start to revive.

But then both Irkens forgot about Dib for a moment when their PAKs began to beep, alerting them of incoming messages. Zim merely looked surprised and vaguely interested by the phenomenon, but Yoogli outright gasped, shaking as he took out the same kind of handheld device that Zim was checking. Dib watched the two aliens as they read the messages they had gotten. Zim's face looked intense for a moment, then it brightened into an excited expression.

Yoogli, on the other hand, looked so incredibly happy he seemed to be almost about to choke on his own joy. His eyes quickly overflowed with tears, the liquid rushing down his cheeks like a river. "Oh, by Irk...!" He breathed, wiping uselessly as his cheeks with the back his hand. "You guys, you guys! Listen! I've just suddenly got a huge backlog of messages, fifteen years worth! And they're all from -Leevee-!"

Dib raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips quirking upwards. He didn't recognize the name but he could tell by how Yoogli said it that it was a very special person. "Who?"

The littlest alien was bouncing on the balls of his feet. "My best comrade, his name is Leevee! He's been sending me messages every year since I disappeared! He just sent another one a few days ago! He never forgot about me! Here, listen-"

Yoogli briefly cleared his throat and began to read the most recent text from his long-lost friend. "'Yoogli - It's now been fifteen years since you disappeared, and I miss you as much as I ever did. They say time heals, but I don't want it to. I don't want to accept you're dead, and I won't. I won't accept that the ones who sent you away were justified in how they treated you... You and I were never very bold. I think that's why we got along so well, we were a lot alike. I'm still not very bold, but your disappearance changed me..."

He took a shaky breath and went on, "Do you remember our comrade Shala? She's invited me to a gathering three months from now. I could get into quite a bit of trouble if I'm found at this particular gathering... But I'm going anyways. It sounds like it's going to be fun, and I'm tired of living my life the way I have so far, ever the dutiful slave... I want more, and if it costs me my life to finally get to live, then so be it. I just wish I could do it with you. I know it's a long-shot, but Shala said I could invite someone if I trusted them. You're the only other person besides her that I trust, though. So if you actually get this message, you're invited to come. And hey, if you've made any new friends while you've been away, go ahead and bring them too..."

Yoogli chuckled softly, still wiping at his tears as he finished the note, "I'll write you again next year, and the year after that, until I'm dead or you're back, whichever comes first. Love always, your comrade, Leevee..."

"Aww, Yoogli, that's so great to hear!" Dib supplied, smiling big for the little Irken. "I bet you can't wait to see him again. And hey, you even got invited to a party!"

Yoogli couldn't reply, fresh tears had come to his eyes and his throat was too tight. But Zim went on over his sobs, deeming his news more important than Yoogli's blubbering. "Yes yes, that's very sweet and sentimental, IT MAKES ME SICK TO THE BELLY - But ZIM just won the LOTTERY!" He exclaimed, excitedly putting his hands up in triumph.

"The lottery?" Dib repeated doubtfully.

"Yes!" Zim confirmed, "And it's the GOOD lottery too!"

Oh yeah, nothing about that sounded weird at ALL. "So what, there's a BAD lottery...?" The human inquired, brows raised.

"Duh, Dib." Zim simply scoffed.

"Whatever..." Dib returned, shaking his head. "The only thing that matters is that we're finally back home in our own dimension..."

Zim blinked, realizing this indeed was the case. He'd been so busy not caring about Yoogli's good fortune and focusing on his own, he'd only just realized the newly arrived messages had to mean that they were indeed back in the dimension that those messages originated from. It would also explain what all that insane shaking he'd woken up to had been. "Well, that is good news..." He replied suspiciously, fury slowly passing over his features as he glanced back at Dib. "And how did we just happen to find ourselves so fortunate, hmm, Dib?"

"Well..." Dib began awkwardly. "Orby told me that the only way to get back home was to go through another black hole - So I did. And here we are!" He concluded with a nervous smile.

Zim did not smile and he was not the least bit nervous. His left eye twitched and he snapped, absolutely shrieking, "HAVE YOU A BLACK HOLE IN YOUR -BRAIN-, HUMAN?!"

"What? Oh come on, Zim!" Dib's jaw dropped. "It WORKED! We're back! You're seriously gonna bitch me out-"

"YOU TOOK CONTROL OF ZIM'S SHIP WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION!" Zim continued to screech right back.

Dib backed down a bit - He was right about that, and he should feel guilty. But bottom line, they were all alive and back home again, so he kept his nerve and steeled his voice. "I did, and I'm sorry, I should have consulted with you first. But Orby said you'd freak out if I told you, and I knew she was right, and we WERE right-"

"You have NO EXCUSE for this, DIB!" Zim interrupted fiercely, "You said you'd get Orby back to Earth on your own if you had to, but let's see your human hubris actually live up to the hype! You put my ship and by extension my LIFE in jeopardy! Not only OUGHT I abandon you on the next breathable planet, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO, YOU PIECE OF WORM SHIT!"

Yikes, little green shorty really was mad this time. It was a pretty bad insult itself to be called a worm like he normally did, but worm shit? That was going about as low as you could go. Dib couldn't deny the sour-piss feeling it gave him, stirring him to shout back, "FINE! Go ahead and do it then! I do NOT need you, Zim!" Wow, was that a dumb thing to say. Dib knew it right away, but he was too pissed off to listen to his rational side.

Yoogli was getting nervous just like he always did when they started to quarrel, but this time he actually intervened, "H-Hey guys, calm down! Dib, it wasn't okay to take Zim's ship without permission-But Zim, Dib would be entitled to a vessel of his own if he was accepted as a hybrid-"

But Zim quickly put the smaller Irken back in his place, and getting right in his face, "THE DIBWORM IS NOT AN OFFICIAL HYBRID AND HE NEVER WILL BE! HE'S AN ARROGANT LITTLE WORM AND HE NEEDS TO REMINDED OF HOW MUCH HE NEEDS ME AND -MY- SHIP! HE. IS. GONE!"

Zim then turned his back on both of them and headed to the control panels, finding a habitable planet and setting course for it. "We'll arrive at Dib's new home sweet home in four days. Neither of you speak to me until then." He told them coldly, heading into his room to be alone, away from their disappointed stares.

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The days passed slowly, but they finally arrived at the planet Zim had chosen. It was a medium-sized planet, about five times bigger than Earth, with saffron yellow land masses and emerald green seas. It was pretty to look at, but Dib just couldn't appreciate it knowing it could potentially be the last planet he lived, and possibly, died on.

He looked back at Zim only once, after they'd landed and Zim had opened the hatch to let the human out. "So you're seriously going to do this."

Zim growled back, "Do I need to literally kick your ass out of MY ship, Dib-pig?"

Dib scoffed and threw the pack of essential supplies he'd prepared over his back. "Whatever, I'm going."

The human jumped past the hatch and landed heavily on his feet, feeling like he'd suddenly gained twenty pounds. Gravity seemed to be a bit stronger here. It was at least breathable, but other than that there wasn't much going for the planet. The saffron yellow color came from miles of sand and large, dry, yellow bushes, but there didn't seem to be much in the way of edible-looking things.

Dib refused to beg Zim to let him back on. He was too proud to admit he needed him. But he decided to say one last thing as Zim closed the hatch on him, his voice thick. "...Thanks for everything, jerk."

Zim glared at him until the hatch had closed and obstructed his view, then he retreated to the control panel and took the ship back up in the air.

Dib looked around at the expanse surrounding him. The planet had two yellow suns, and both of them were beating down on him. It had to be at least a hundred and twenty degrees. If he didn't find shade and water soon, he'd be done for. So he headed off towards the second sun in the horizon, leaving a trail of footprints behind.

After walking for only an hour, Dib found himself too exhausted to go on without a rest. Between the heat and the change in gravity, his body was just too taxed to go on. He sat down next to one of the larger yellow bushes, letting the mass of it give him shade from the suns.

After he'd caught his breath he got back up again. There was nothing around except for the bushes, so he decided to inspect the one he'd just been resting against. There was nothing on the surface, but maybe if he was lucky there might be something edible further within in.

So Dib reached his hands into the dry yellow brush, feeling inside. It was rougher, like dirty cotton on the outside, but inside it was softer, like feather-down. Just about half a foot in, Dib's hand settled against something firm but also pliant, and warm. It almost felt like...

"Bwuaaaaack?"

Dib glanced to the left of him, where a yellow, feathery head on a long neck had emerged from underneath the body, cocking it's head curiously to the side at him. It had a huge, sharp curved beak, which it clucked curiously at Dib.

"...Shit. You're some kind of giant space chicken, aren't you."

"KWUAK!"

The long-necked fowl suddenly lunged at Dib, snapping at him with it's menacing beak. Dib jumped back just in time and began running away as fast as he could under the intense heat and the gravity. Thankfully for him, the lumbering creature was somewhat slow itself, but it managed to almost keep up with Dib, constantly snapping at his heels. It was only a matter of time before Dib ran out of energy, but before that happened he dared to turn his head around and holler at the beast, "SOME DAY PEOPLE WILL BE DIPPING YOUR RIB-MEAT IN BARBEQUE SAUCE, BITCH!"

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Yoogli had been pacing anxiously since Zim departed, and just when they were about to pass the atmosphere, he couldn't stand it anymore. "Zim! Are you seriously not gonna go back for him? I'm sure he learned his lesson by now! He could seriously die if you leave him down there too long!"

That did make Zim feel guilty, but that in turn only made him angry. He WAS planning on going back for Dib in a few days or so, but the planet was a little harsh, and Dib was still recovering from the injuries he'd sustained days ago, as well-deserved as they were. Still, he wasn't interested in being lectured by the shrimp about it. "Shut UP, Yoogli, or I may just go back and leave you behind here as well!"

Something in the little Irken's head suddenly snapped, and he shoved at Zim's chest with all his might, knocking him back a couple steps. "FINE! Go ahead and do it, but you're gonna hear a thing or two from me! First of all, you KNOW you were exiled just like me, and while you were, did anyone ever message you even ONCE like my best comrade Leevee has been doing for me every year? WHO has been paying attention to YOU all these years, Zim? HMM?!"

That cut deep, and the pain made Zim almost as irritated as Yoogli, but he was also unnerved by his sudden boldness. It was true, over the long years of exile, Dib was the one who made his life worth living. Still, he tried to cover up his shame by stretching out the truth. "For your information, NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS-Tallest Red himself had been checking in on me from time to time!"

Yoogli let his mouth drop and slapped a hand to his cheek, feigning shock, and replied in a heavily sarcastic tone, "You're KIDDING, Zim! The guy whose butt is only still sitting on a throne because of your actions and your continued silence about them, HE checked in on you?"

Zim growled deeply, "I have NO idea what you're talking about-"

"Of course you don't." Yoogli nodded, knowing that that was actually partly the truth. "You really are oblivious to the fact that you're one of the most selfish Irkens to have ever existed. You are completely unaware of the fact that you get away with breaking rules and putting yourself above all of your fellow Irkens all the time, something most of the rest of us really would be executed for. For some reason nobody can understand, the Control Brain just goes stupid whenever you're around - That's why you get away with things all the time, that's why Red chose you for that particular mission, and that's why virtually every other member of your species gets nervous whenever you show up and wants nothing to do with you!"

Zim couldn't deny the hurt look that briefly passed over his features, but Yoogli continued on without letting him reply, "That's why I'm telling you now Zim, it doesn't make any sense for you to be using the Control Brain and it's stupid standards as an excuse for why you won't accept Dib as your comrade. In fact it's downright insulting to all the Irkens who have laid down their lives defying the Control Brain! Dib has been there for you, and he's probably the only Irken, Hybrid or otherwise, that even wants to be! You're crazy, Zim, but you're not crazy enough to turn your back on the only real friend you've got, are you?"

Zim gritted his teeth, unable to form a reply at first, and his fingers twitched, sorely tempted to smack the smaller Irken for his insolence. In fact he was about to, but then GIR showed up between them, sucking on some kind of red drink. His eyes were blue at first, but then they started to flash between blue and red, and then finally, they lit up purple, and to Zim's utter shock and deep terror, the sound of the Gaz-beast's voice emerged from the mouth of his robotic servant. "You really SHOULD listen to him, Zim. But I know you're not gonna, so you'd BETTER listen to me, instead."

"EH?! GAZ?! WHAT do you think you're doing in my robot, filthy girl-monster?!" Zim took two steps back from his metal slave, more unnerved than he'd ever been.

"Hehehe..." Gaz's voice chuckled back coolly. "Did you know one of my favorite past-times as a kid was turning my stuffed animals into demonic robot slaves? Good practice for working on a real Irken SIR, busted though it was... But hey, it was special. Not every day you find a SIR unit on Earth, let alone one that's somehow been powered by tajik... Are you getting it yet, Zim?" The robot gave his master a dark smile that sent a shiver down Zim's spine. "GIR has been my puppet for years. I've had control of him pretty much ever since you landed on our mud-ball."

"Th-That's not, it c-can't, y-you're-" Zim tried to stammer back, horrified as he realized how many things that meant. Gaz had seen all of his base, Gaz had multiple opportunities to poison him, Gaz had seen him NAKED in the shower-!

"Listen UP, Zim." She barked back, getting short with him. "I do NOT have all day to piss around with you! You are gonna GO and GET Dib NOW and you're gonna help him get back to Earth alive, because if you don't, and I have to drop what I'm doing to come get you, I am going to DOOM you SO HARD, you'll wish every ATOM in your body HAD NEVER EVEN EXISTED!"

GIR's eyes went solid red, and Zim screeched in horror as some kind of bright red liquid started spraying from the top of it's head. It was just the ketchup-smoothie it had been drinking, but it looked like something a lot more nasty than that. So Zim of course turned on his heels and ran for the control panel, turning the ship around and flying back to the planet's surface to look for Dib. "OKAY, OKAY!"

GIR's eyes immediately went back to blue and it squealed in it's own voice again, "YAY~!"

It took them a while to find the human, as he'd moved from the original spot he'd been left. But then Yoogli suddenly shouted, "Look!" and pointed to the corner of the window, where they could see Dib was being held by the tail of his trench-coat in the beak of a giant yellow bird, and being shaken quite aggressively.

Zim aimed carefully and fired one of the ship's lasers at the creature's neck, severing the head from the body. Dib fell along with the decapitated head, and landed with an 'oof' in the sand. Zim then took the ship down to the ground and opened the hatch, marching up to Dib and stopping next to his big head, nudging it with his toes. "Hey. We're even for the snake thing now."

Dib slowly smiled weakly up at the alien, accepting his hand as Zim offered it to him. He was still kinda pissed off at him, but he couldn't deny how glad he was that Zim had come back for him after all, and right in the nick of time. "Right... Thanks for coming back. I'm sorry again for taking control of your ship without permission. Neither of us should boss around or take control of the other. From now on I promise I'll consult with you before doing anything that concerns the both of us."

"Too right you will." Zim answered testily, but then he quickly added, "...But thanks for getting us back home again, too. I guess that means I owe you a ride back to your home planet, to make things even..."

Dib's smile stretched into a small grin, and instead of letting Zim's hand go when he'd gotten to his feet, he gripped it even more firmly. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd really appreciate that... Friend."

Zim took his hand back and waved away Dib's term of enderment, although the side of his mouth was quirked just slightly upwards. "Yeah, yeah, whatever - But first I'm going to collect my lottery prize. And I kinda feel like crashing Yoogli's party, too. We have plenty of time, after all."

Dib's grin was now pretty big, and he balled up his fists in excitement. "I definitely wanna go to a space party before I go back to Earth!" He answered enthusiastically. After all, when he got back home, there was a chance he'd have to stay there for the rest of his life. He was at -least- gonna go to a space party first, damn it.

"Well then let's go already!" Zim called over his shoulder as he began to head back towards the ship.

"Hey wait," Dib called him back, glancing at the newly-dead creature behind them. "This thing is basically a giant chicken, right...?"

Waste not, want not. They were getting low on protein supplements, anyways. Zim was repulsed by soiled Earth-meat, but without the added chemicals that humans poisoned themselves with, he and other Irkens could occasionally stand to eat another creature's flesh. In fact, Irkens generally believed that consuming another creature was just another way of conquering it, and that in some cases, one could absorb the strength of your foe by eating it.

They didn't take the whole thing though, it was too big. But they butchered a few choice cuts of the breast meat, freezing and storing most of it for later. Then they cooked up a slab for that night's supper.

"Mmm," Dib chewed loudly, his appetite ravenous after running from the beast on the hot, heavy planet all day. It was a lot more fun to eat something you had a personal vendetta against. "Tastes like chicken! Hah!"

Zim rolled his eyes at the terrible joke. "Shut up and pass me the barbeque sauce."

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	7. Chapter 7

The Healer

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Planet Tegma, the Irken-owned and mostly Irken-operated merchant corner of the multiverse, was a place where you could find at least half of what was known of exist, and for the right price, take it with you. This was the planet where the lottery's headquarters were located.

After Zim had announced the planet they were heading to, Orby had spoken up first, "Tegma? There is information about this planet in my database. There may be an Irken Hybrid named Dram still stationed there in quadrant Goog-61. He is a medic that specializes in working with other Hybrids. He has also been known to have a special skill set - He's the only Hybrid doctor I know of that also has experience with traumatized lekku."

Dib reached up and felt under his hair, "So, he might be able to make it work the way it's supposed to again...?" He asked hopefully.

Orby whirred for a few seconds and turned from purple to blue, then replied in it's metallic tone, "Orby deduces that the chances of what Dib hopes to happen happening is just under zero point two percent, because the original single lekku, even if left uncut, likely did not function the way the usual two do. The chances of Dram being able to introduce a synthetic stabilizer to restore a small portion of the lekku's original functions is fifty-nine percent likely. The chances of making no improvement at all is thirty-eight percent, and the chances of Dib dying in various ways is just under three percent."

Specific as always. "Well, I've had worse odds than that." Dib admitted with a shrug, and then on a whim, he asked his robo-ghost-mommy, "By the way, just curious... Did my father know what my lekku was supposed to be for, before he cut it? Did he even ask?"

"...Yes. He cut it specifically because of what he was told about it. He was afraid of you becoming more powerful than him someday."

Dib groaned under his breath. "Asshole..."

Zim hid his sympathy at first. Dib had to be pretty low before Zim would offer him comfort - It was much more fun to mess with him. "Just how are you going to pay for the procedure, Dib? Even IF we can find this Doctor-Dram, somehow I doubt he'll work for free."

Damn it, that was actually a good point. Yoogli had been quiet for the last few days, glaring at Zim behind his back, but he finally spoke up now. "I don't have much monies, but you're more than welcome to them, Dib."

Though he was touched by Yoogli's offer, Dib was about to turn him down as graciously as he could. But Zim spoke up first, in a jealous growl, "-I- will pay for Dib's procedure!"

Dib quirked a curious eyebrow at him questioningly, propelling Zim to go on in a slightly embarrassed sputter, "I mean- I HAVE certainly cost you quite a few hospital bills in your life, and I AM going to be winning a fabulous lottery prize soon, so... I don't know, consider it a late Birthday present. Or an early Deathday present." He smirked.

Dib was surprised, to say the least. Zim was actually being nice? Winning the lottery must have put him in a good mood. "Thanks, Zim..." He answered sincerely, reaching over and putting a hand on Zim's shoulder for a brief moment. "I'll find a way to pay you back sometime." He promised, to both his friend and himself.

Zim seemed to be conflicted about the touch for the first few seconds, then he finally slapped it away, though he seemed to be reluctant to do so. "Yes, yes, Zim is unfathomably gracious!"

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Later that night, about three hours into Dib's usual 4-6 hours of sleep, Zim crept into his quarters and shook him awake. "Dib-worm! We must speak NOW!" He commanded in fierce whispers.

Dib groaned softly, reluctant to wake up. He was having kind of weird but kind of nice dream that he was embracing Zim, the way Yoogli had once wanted to be embraced. Still in this dream-stupor, he grabbed onto real-Zim, thinking it was dream-Zim, and pulled him into his mattress, snuggling the alien like a teddy bear.

Zim at first went very rigid, and his cheeks went hot. The rest of his body quickly rose in temperature as well. Human skin was barely over one degree warmer than Irken skin was normally, but to Zim it felt like his body's temperature had risen at least ten degrees. And yet somehow, to the alien's complete bafflement, it actually felt really nice. Kind of incredible, actually. Zim couldn't help but let himself enjoy it for JUST a minute...

Until Dib mindlessly began nuzzling his cheek against one of Zim's antennae, and Zim suddenly gasped sharply, and thrashed violently against Dib's arms, "LET ME GO RIGHT NOW SMELLY-!"

Dib snorted awake and quickly let the alien go before he scratched his face off, tumbling off the side of his bed trying to get away form him. "Zim?! What the HELL-?" He blushed too, dearly hoping he hadn't said anything aloud while he was dreaming.

Zim had fallen off the other side of the bed, but he used his spider legs to jump over it, landing on Dib's chest and knocking the air out of him for a moment. "Shut up, Dib!" He commanded. "We have to speak now, while GIR is in sleep mode! I've been unable to trust my own robot slave for days because your SISTER revealed to me through GIR the other day, when you were playing Chicken on that yellow planet, that she's been in control of GIR almost as long as I've had him! Did you ever know anything about that, Dib?!"

After taking a few more gasps, Dib shook his head. "No! I didn't know anything about that. Well, except..." Zim gave him a hard stare, silently demanding the truth, so Dib gave it to him. "I really DID have no idea that she's been in control of GIR so long, but I heard her voice coming from it when we were passing through the black hole... She pretty much saved our butts, I think..." He admitted, still haunted by how his sister had spoken to the darkness, with only respect and reverence in her voice, but never a hint of fear...

"You think." Zim repeated doubtfully. "I'll be honest, I'm not sure what to think of you and your scary sibling anymore..."

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one." Dib deadpanned back at him. Then he blinked. "Hey wait - If we're back in our dimension, maybe I can call her. Here, get off of me-"

Zim blushed and got up without a word, then Dib joined him in sitting on the edge of his bed, where he pulled out his old smartphone, which had been made quite a bit smarter by Dib with a few tweaks and some 'borrowed' Irken technology. Good thing it ran on it's own without need of a service provider - Dib didn't even want to imagine how much they'd charge for a call that was THIS 'long-distance'.

It rang several times before Gaz's pre-recorded voice emerged. "Nice try, Dib. I know it's you, you're the only one who would call this old number. Just get the device back to me and I'll tell you everything you need to know. Until then, quit bugging me and focus on staying alive by yourself. I have enough problems to deal with right now, I can't afford to do you any more favors."

Dib turned the phone off without leaving a message. Apparently they'd have plenty to talk about, when and if they saw each other again. "Well, that's that." He stated simply.

"No, there's one more thing." Zim corrected him with a light growl. "We'll be arriving at Tegma in five more days, and I've located this Dram that Orby spoke of through the Tegma Directory, but when we get there, we're going to have to disguise you to look more like a proper Irken Hybrid. People are going to notice us no matter what, but we need to try to attract as little trouble as possible. There's a few things that we'll be able to fix easily, other things, not so much..."

Dib immediately glanced down at his fingers first. Zim saw this, and commented on it. "It WOULD be easier to amputate a finger or two to make it look more Irken. BUT," He grinned devilishly as Dib looked over to him with a gulp. "It isn't unheard of for Irkens to have finger mutations, even more so for Hybrids. The vast majority of us have three-fingered hands, but a small few of us have four-fingered hands - I've even heard of a very few rare types of Hybrids having five, six and seven-fingered hands."

Zim went on, studying Dib. "Of course we'll have to make your skin green too - Your single lekku would be useless as a disguise, so we'll just have to tape it down to hide it completely and graft two fake lekku on top of your head, which you'll need to shave again... Most of the disguise should be simple enough, really, there's just one thing... Your eyes."

Dib raised a brow. "My eyes? What about them? Can't we just make some contacts?"

"DUH, Dib. That's not the problem. This is!" The irritable Irken reached over and grabbed at Dib's glasses. He knew already that a few years prior, Dib had gotten the tops of his ears pierced and had gotten special earrings that allowed him to fasten his glasses to his ears, so that they stayed in place when he got active. Zim removed the earrings first and then the glasses, and not wanting to rip his ears, Dib let him.

"This archaic nonsense." Zim repeated. "No Irken would be caught wearing something so ridiculous, and I must admit, I really don't understand why even a monkey like you would, either. You've already broken two of your spare pairs since our trip began, do you even have that many spares left? It doesn't matter." He answered his own inquiry before Dib could. "Because you're not going to wear them anymore. But I'm curious - Primitive though your planet is, it still had laser surgery available to correct vision. Why didn't you just utilize it instead of putting up with these stupid things?"

Dib sighed, grabbing back his glasses. "You know, I might kinda just like the way they look on me! And would YOU trust just any stranger to shoot lasers into your eyes?" The second point was the stronger one, as Dib realized he had only ever liked how glasses looked because his father also was always wearing some kind of sunglasses or goggles. So, since he now officially loathed him more than ever, he started to think maybe it was time to stop instinctively emulating him.

Zim simply shrugged. "Well, you're going to have to trust me to do it, because you're not stepping foot out onto Tegma or anywhere else Irkens congregate without a convincing disguise. Now hold still and this will only take half a minute!"

Zim suddenly pushed Dib onto his back on the bed, climbing on top of his chest and taking out what looked like a silver retractable pen, with six little oval buttons along the side. It didn't take a rocket scientist to put together what it was and what Zim was planning to do with it. Instinctively, Dib covered his eyes with his hands to protect them, and almost squeaked out, "W-Wait! Zim, you can't just expect me to be okay with this! These are my EYES we're talking about!"

Zim sighed irritably. "I have eyes too Dib, I am aware of how important they are. Which is why I figured you would WANT your incredibly inferior eyes improved upon. Besides..." Zim seemed to struggle within himself for a moment. "If... If you're going to be my comrade, I need you to be as useful as possible! If I have to rely on your inferior human eyes, they won't be -defective- inferior human eyes to boot! Contacts might work better than glasses, but they can still fall out too and you'll be useless to me if they do, so you're just going to have to let me fix your problem and stop being a big worm-baby about it!"

Dib gulped and slowly peeked through his fingers, then finally, with a sigh, he removed his hands completely. "Okay Zim... I'm putting my trust in you..." He breathed out quietly, laying his hands down on either sides of Zim's legs.

They were both very aware of how vulnerable Dib was at that moment. The human was trying his hardest to stay still due to the fear of moving too much during the delicate procedure, while the alien restrained himself from shaking with excitement. He couldn't deny how pleased it made him, to have Dib submit to him like this. But he forced himself take a calming breath before steadying himself for the task.

He moved his legs outside of Dib's arms, pinning them close to his sides to keep him still. Then he leaned over, used two of the fingers on one hand to pull one of his eyes wide open and keep it that way. "Stay as still as possible and I can probably have this over in only twenty seconds..." He whispered, and began before Dib could reply.

The laser was at a very low level, so it didn't sting or burn, it just felt like an uncomfortable pressure was encircling his eyeball. Zim focused, making no unnecessary movements until it was time to switch eyes. After he did, Dib's vision momentarily faded to shades of grey. When the pressure went away, Dib felt Zim get off of him.

"Zim?" He couldn't help but inquire, a little paranoid.

"I'm just getting something, Dib-worm." Zim replied shortly, and soon enough he was back, applying some kind of balm to Dib's eyes and then placing some gauze over them. "There, sleep another few hours with these on and when you wake up your eyes will be better than ever."

Dib swallowed and nodded, feeling Zim get off of him with a little regret. The lasers in the eyes wasn't great, but the feeling of Zim's lighter weight on top of him, his cool skin warming against Dib's - The hormonal human couldn't deny to at least himself, that part was decidedly not unpleasant. "Well, I'll probably hold my thanks until then, just to make sure I don't end up blind forever." He half-joked.

"Fine, and then you may bow down and kiss my boot in thanks."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you."

"Why wouldn't I?" Zim asked innocently, and Dib waited until he heard him leave with the wooshing door before snickering immaturely to himself.

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As Zim had promised, Dib woke up the next morning with perfect 20-20 vision. He stared around himself in awe when the gauze had been removed, looking at all the familiar things, now no longer blurry outside the rim of his spectacles, and no longer weighted down by the constant presence of metal frames on his face.

"I gotta admit, this is pretty awesome..." He smiled over at Zim, and told him, full of sincerety. "Thanks, Zim."

"I know, I'm amazing." The alien replied dismissively, then glanced up at the human. "By the way... I think you look... Less stupid now, without them."

Well, Zim was never great at compliments, but Dib took it with a smile.

When they were close to arriving at planet Tegma, Dib noticed there seemed to be two sides to the planet, one with lots of brown and white spots on it's land-masses, the other with mostly gray. Zim had explained to him that one side contained mostly independent merchants who basically lived in the same shabby spot where they did whatever their deal was, while the other was inhabited by more official businesses and actual corporations, and had big buildings that could store many different items and people.

After parking the ship, Zim helped Dib apply his disguise, covering his skin with a water-resistant green paint and attaching the fake lekku to his newly-shaved head. They had also covered his ears by taping them down, but they had to admit defeat to Dib's pig-nose, which couldn't be taped down enough to be convincing.

Finally it was time to make him a pair of Irken contacts, and Zim instructed him to pick which color he wanted. Dib, without thinking about it, picked the one closest to his real eye color - Golden-brown. But Zim growled in irritation at his choice. "We're supposed to be trying to avoid any extra attention, Dib. It's going to be hard enough to hide you with your height."

Dib rolled his eyes. "Well fine then, why don't you pick the eye color out for me?"

Zim hummed in thought, flipping through the selections. He then began switching back between the various shades of blue, before picking one of the deeper, darker hues. "These are best, I think... Actually, yeah." Zim quirked both an eye and one of his lekku as Dib applied them. "You look a LOT better as an Irken..."

Dib snorted, his cheeks pink underneath the green paint. "Well it's certainly a step above your Earth costume."

Zim poked his chest and pointed out, "Hey, that's because most humans were so stupid I didn't have to be that creative."

Yoogli was practically bouncing on his heels when Zim finally opened the hatch to let them out. He didn't have any business to do, he was just eager to simply go out and walk among his fellows. He was the first to jump off of the ship, immediately rushing into the crowd, surfing through the mass of bodies.

Dib had a little bit of trouble focusing on following Zim when they were surrounded by aliens that looked more or less just like him. He got sidetracked two or three times by the sights of all the people and the merchants and their wares, and he almost got lost. But thankfully, Zim came back for him and found him, and this time he led the taller Hybrid by the hand to make sure he didn't stray.

They did get a few stares, but they managed to get to their destination without being stopped by anyone. The tent that Zim stopped at didn't look any different from the others, but it's merchant was a little different from the average Irken. His legs were strangely skinny, in a way that made Dib wonder if he could even walk on them - He was currently sitting in front of his stall, soaking up the sun. He also seemed much older than any other Irken Dib had ever seen, with withered skin and tired blue eyes that were just a shade lighter than Dib's. He was somewhat tall, almost as tall as Gazlene had been, but his back bent over with age.

"Are you Dram?" Zim asked, "The Vortian-Irken Hybrid medic?"

"Depends on who is asking." The old Irken replied with a cough. "Except it doesn't, because I don't take in new clients anymore..."

"What about a favor to an old one?" Dib spoke up, not about to give up so easily. "Do you remember an Irken who was named Gazlene?"

The doctor had been looking away from them stubbornly, but the second that name was spoken, his eyes went wide and he stared right at the hybrid who had uttered it. "What did you say?" He gasped instinctively, but then thought better of it. "No, don't say her name again... But how do you know of her?"

Dib could see the elderly alien putting the pieces together in his eyes, but he answered anyways, "It might be hard to believe, but I'm her offspring." The Irken word for it made no distinction between sexes. Offspring were offspring.

"And she is...?"

Dib looked away. "...Dead." He answered shortly.

The older Irken took a deep breath. "I can't say I'm surprised. She was always a risk-taker. I knew one day it wouldn't work out in her favor... Anyways, what do you need from me?"

Dib looked around at the shoppers passing by the various stalls. No one seemed to be paying attention to them, but he didn't feel like taking the chance that one of them was. "Can we go inside and show you there?" He asked hesitantly, still not sure how those freaky-skinny legs were supposed to work.

Dram sighed a little, then hefted himself up from his chair. He balanced himself on his strange legs like a ballerina, and motioned for them to follow as he went into his tent. Inside there were only a few essential items - A cot for Dram, one for his patients, a small collection of various surgical tools laid out on a rotating circular table by the patient's cot, and a nearby metal chest that was probably a freezer.

"So what seems to be the problem?" Dram asked again, a little sarcastically.

Dib glanced briefly as Zim, who nodded. Then he reached up, grabbing his fake lekku by the bottom and pulling them off. Dram looked a little sickened by that, but even more so when Dib removed the tape covering his real lekku. He then got down to his knees and held the limp lekku up so the doctor could inspect it.

Dram shook his head in disbelief at the sight. "What kind of savage would do that to a smeet..."

"My paternal unit." Dib answered with a small scowl. "I can't really feel it except underneath at the very bottom. When it's touched there, a spark of electricity goes off and shocks my body. Very painful..." The human-hybrid coughed, "Anyways, can you do anything about it?"

"Possibly. Probably." The doctor answered shortly. "But I make no promises. Normally I charge one hundred monies for a job like this, but with the added unknown elements to deal with, I'm going to have to insist on two hundred."

Zim growled, reluctant at first to fork over a full half of what he had. He eventually did, but he told Dram, very short-and-sweet, "If he dies, I get my monies back."

Dib gave him a hard stare, but then he couldn't help but snort out a short laugh, and replied dryly, "Wow. Thanks, Zim..."

Dram wasn't nearly as amused. He answered grimly, "There is a very slight chance of death involved. But I am confident in my skill, and long years of experience. You are not the first unknown hybrid to have come to me in a similar condition, in fact, hybrids are the most likely of all Irkens to have their lekku tampered with. I've seen and fixed worse than this, but that all depends on what this thing was capable of to begin with..."

"What do you mean?" Dib inquired, "Have you seen single lekku before?"

Dram slowly nodded. "It's very rare even in hybrids but I've seen two other cases in all my life, and heard of a handful more. In most cases it is weaker than two, but in a couple of the cases I've heard about, the Irkens who relayed it to me claimed that the single lekku gave the hybrid strange powers. But we won't know until we've begun. Are you ready? I'll need to render you unconscious for the procedure."

Dib swallowed, suddenly a little nervous. However slight, there was the chance that he might not wake up from this. He looked over at Zim and asked him hesitantly, "Will you... Stick around until I wake up again?"

Zim gave him a funny look. "Where else do you think I'm going to go?"

The human slowly smiled, and while he was giving his friend that soulful glance, Dram had injected him in the neck so skillfully that he didn't even feel it. "Okay then, so Dram, how are you gonna put me under-Rrrruh..." Dib's sentence tapered off and his legs turned to noodles as he went unconcious. The two aliens caught him as he fell, and with some slight difficulty they hefted him onto the patient's cot.

Dram then pulled a case out from the freezer and opened it. Inside there were several small, dark grey-colored chips in different shapes and sides. He pulled out one that looked lika a small disc cut in half, and held it up to inspect.

"I've developed several kinds of stabilizers for all the different kinds of lekku injuries I've seen. They are basically replicas of the missing tissue made with real Irken cells. Freezing keeps them dormant until the procedure." Dram went on to explain to Zim, or to no one at all. He didn't seem to care which. "I believe this one should suffice. However the biggest problem lies in that this is such an old wound. I'm afraid I'll have to cut it again to fit the stabilizing chip in, and the chip needs to come in direct contact with his DNA to merge with it anyways. Once in, hopefully the nerves will connect themselves to the chip and the chip will guide sensation between the lekku and the rest of the body properly."

"Well then DO it already." Zim huffed back, looking unimpressed. "Just remember, if he dies, I get my monies back. Also," He decided to add now that the human was unconscious, "I'd probably kill you, too."

Dram snorted, just as unimpressed with Zim's threat. "I already told you, I'm confident in my skills, or else I wouldn't have even taken the job, favor to an old 'friend' or not."

Zim paused, and then inquired as casually as he could. "So, what was Dib's maternal unit like?" With Orby waiting back at the ship, he likely wouldn't get another chance to ask.

"Scary." Dram answered right away, and after a short thought, he went on, "She never cared that she was supposed to be considered inferior, and she didn't treat others that way just because they were short or anything else. Like all brown-eyed Irkens she was given a derogatory name: Gazlene is basically just a fancy word for the gases in a fart. But you don't even wanna know what she did to the first and only Irken ever unfortunate enough to try and make fun of her for it..." Dram chuckled a little to himself, though. That young, cocky bastard Red had really deserved the unexpected beating the slightly shorter female gave him that day, and it seemed he had only turned out for the better afterwards...

It was about what Zim had expected of the Gaz-beast's life-giver, and he left it at that, watching patiently as Dram got himself and Dib ready for the procedure. When the time came for Dram to make the incision, Zim quickly averted his eyes. Normally it was a treat to see Dib in pain, but it wasn't quite as thrilling anymore as it used to be...

A few moments later, Dram announced, "We're done here."

Zim turned back and gave him a glare, "That didn't take very long..." He mentioned, suspecting that it had been a rush-job.

Dram gave him the same look of annoyance and growled a little at him, answering briefly, "Once he wakes up, leave."

They stared at each other in a shared sense of dislike for almost an hour. Zim was almost about to go over and shake the human awake himself when Dib began to stir, and groan. The alien approached him and bent over his form, looking down at him inquisitively. "How do you feel, Dib?"

Dib blinked up at him, groggily rubbing at his eyes. "Kinda dizzy... Head hurts..."

Dram answered without even looking at Zim, reclining on his cot and facing away from them. "Side effects. Should go away soon. Leave now."

Zim sighed irritably and focused his attention back on Dib, "Can you walk?"

Dib nodded without actually considering whether he could, and with some difficulty he hefted himself up to a sitting position. He rubbed his eyes some more, took a breath, and then placed his feet down on the ground and stood up.

At first he seemed to be alright - Until he actually took a step. Then he wobbled a bit, and Zim rushed to put a steady arm around his back. Dib was much bigger than him so it was a rather comical sight to see, but the smaller alien was stronger than his stature would suggest, and he managed to keep them both on their feet.

Zim led the two of them through the dusty streets, getting a few more odd looks than before. About halfway back to the ship, the dizziness began to ebb away and Dib managed to walk on his own again, but Zim still walked at his side, just in case.

Once Dib's big head seemed to be working more clearly, the Irken asked his Hybrid companion, "Do you feel anything yet?"

Dib hummed a bit in consideration. "It... Kind of feels like it's buzzing, right now..."

Zim took a breath, trying to be optimistic since he'd paid for it. "Well, that's probably better than no feeling at all. It may be your remaining nerves reconnecting to the stabilizing chip. Anything else?"

Actually, there was something else, but Dib hesitated to mention it. When Zim had pulled away, it felt as if some kind of static remained between them, reluctant to let go of Zim. It was somewhat like trying to pull two magnets away from each other. But obviously Zim hadn't felt it too, so he didn't bring it up. "No, but I'll let you know if there is."

Once they'd nearly reached the parking lot where they'd left the ship, they found Yoogli nearby talking with a small group of very short Irkens - Young ones, actually. They were barely more than smeets, just out of the academy, probably here to stock up on items they needed and trying to find them cheaper in the bazaar than they knew they'd be elsewhere.

Yoogli was restraining the urge to coo over them when he noticed Dib and Zim coming back. "Promise to be careful out there, okay my young comrades?" He asked, wiping a smudge off the shirt of the shortest one like a mother hen.

The smeets all rolled their eyes and promised him they would in dull, bored tones, and Yoogli returned to his shipmate's side as they began boarding the craft. "Did everything go okay, Dib?" The shorter alien asked, keeping a good foot of space between them after seeing Zim's glare.

"I think so. I guess time will tell." Dib replied with a yawn, "I'm still pretty tired from the anesthesia though. I think I'm gonna rest a bit longer in my room..."

"When are YOU gonna get your own ship again anyways, Yoogli?" Zim growled irritably as he started up the engines.

Yoogli gave him an annoyed stare in return. "I DID ask around about it while you were gone, actually. They said I'd have to check with the officials on the other side of Tegma about a replacement Voot, so, can you at least give me a ride over there?"

"You COULD just walk-" Zim began, but Dib pinched his arm to distract him, and it worked like a charm. "OW! DIB, I -WILL- DESTROY YOU!"

The human chuckled nasally, then yawned again as he headed towards his quarters. "Yeah, yeah - Just do me a favor and kill me in my sleep, okay?"

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	8. Chapter 8

The Savior

(( A.N. This chapter contains some pretty heavy stuff, some not-so-vague references to sexual assault and similar themes. Hope everybody still likes this chapter though, I worked hard on it. Please review~ ^^ ))  
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Dib woke up a few hours later, and the first thing he did was reach up and feel at the top of his head for his lekku, to see if anything had changed. He ran his finger along the top-side of the skinny appendage, and a slight shiver ran down his lekku and through his neck and spine. Experimentally, he did it again, and the shiver turned into more of a warm pulse. It was strongest in his back, where it felt like the pulse was branching out with his nerves and massaging the muscles in his back underneath the skin.  
It actually felt pretty darn good, so Dib was about to try it again until two short knocks at the door interrupted him, and he put his hands down quickly, as if he had been caught doing something naughty. Which, in a way, he kind of had. "Er - Come in, Zim."  
Zim emerged through the unlocked door, arms crossed and looking slightly puzzled. "How did you know it was me?"  
Good question. How did he know it was Zim? It could have been Yoogli, but for some reason... He just knew it was Zim. Not thinking too much on it yet, Dib simply shrugged. "Lucky guess?"  
Zim didn't seem convinced but he shrugged it off as well. "We'll be landing in another thirty minutes at the Lottery Headquarters. However, I will be going there alone, and you and Yoogli will be staying behind to watch GIR and the ship. When I get back, we'll be taking Yoogli to the Irken Transportation office, and then we'll be on our way."  
Dib couldn't hide his disappointment, and underneath that, for no reason he could currently fathom, he was also really worried about the prospect. "Are you sure it'll be safe for you to go out there by yourself?"  
Zim gave him a really 'WTF' kind of look then. "What-Dib, I'm really not sure whether to smack you or check you for a preexisting head injury, because you're not making any sense right now. Why wouldn't I be safe walking among my own people? Irkens are not savages like humans are, we do not attack our own kind merely for monetary gain, so I'm not going to get 'mugged', if that's what you're thinking."  
"I know that," Dib hurried to assure him with a slight blush. "But you ARE pretty accident-prone sometimes, so maybe it'd be best if-"  
"I'm going, ALONE." Zim growled back at him slowly. "You're just being paranoid as always Dib-worm - At least, I'm giving you the benefit of a doubt that you're just being paranoid, because if I thought for a second that you were insinuating that I am too WEAK to take care of myself, I'd scratch your ugly face off right now."  
"I wasn't insinuating that, Zim." Dib quickly soothed him quickly before his temper flared up. "Just - Nevermind. Forget I said anything. Don't worry about the ship. It'll still be here when you get back."  
"It better." Zim replied in a huff, then closed the door behind him.  
Dib waited until he felt the ship touch down, and heard the front hatch woosh open. When it closed again, he exited his room, readjusting his fake antennae. He'd taken them off before going to sleep, but the rest of his disguise was still on. He did make one change though - He took out the blue contacts Zim had chosen for him earlier, and replaced them with a purple pair, just in case Zim should look back and catch a glimpse of him.  
Then he turned to Yoogli, who was watching him the entire time. "I'm going to follow Zim. Are you okay with watching the ship and GIR by yourself, Yoogli? He shouldn't be too difficult to control as long as you keep his favorite shows on."  
"Sure thing, Dib. You can count on me." Yoogli smiled back at him and saluted.  
Orby, who was floating next to Yoogli, stopped Dib just before he bolted out of the ship, "Dib - I cannot accompany you. Irken officials will confiscate unknown technology if they see it. But take this with you instead." Out of one of the rectangular compartments, a metal claw came out holding what looked like an Irken remote control. Buttons with the numbers zero through nine and the letters of the Irken alphabet were displayed on the front, as well as several oval buttons in various colors below them.  
"This device is a door decoder." Orby explained. "If you come across a door you need to open that requires a password, press the blue button. The combination will light up in order on the buttons of the device. If voice recognition software is needed instead of a simple password, press the green button and the device will play back the last voice that was used to open the door. Either way, when you're done opening the door, press the red button to reset the door and delete any trace of your tampering."  
Dib took the device with a grateful nod, slipped it into his pocket, and rushed out of the ship to catch up with Zim.  
The occupants on this half of Tegma were much more controlled than the dusty, crowded streets on it's other side - Irkens filed down the sidewalks in an orderly line, while the middle of the street consisted of several conveyor belts, each belt taking it's occupants to a different building. It took him a few minutes, but Dib finally found the one that Zim was on, and he quickly got on several spaces behind him.  
The conveyor belt led them past several nearly-identical buildings, drab and gray, until they reached one that was slightly taller than the rest, painted magenta, with a banner hanging from the top of it that had a picture of an excited-looking Irken holding wads of cash in both hands, and Irken letters underneath that read, 'Lottery Headquarters'.  
Dib watched patiently as Zim headed into the building first, then slowly followed in after him. He saw Zim get onto an elevator, and when the doors had closed, Dib waited outside of the elevator until Zim had arrived on his level, stopping at the fourth floor. Dib then waited for the elevator to come back down, boarded it himself, and rode it up to the fourth level. When he got out, he just barely caught a glimpse of Zim as he punched in a number code at a door at the end of the hall, and headed into the room beyond.  
He used the device as Orby had instructed him to, punched in the code, and then he quickly slipped into the room and ducked behind a statue of some Tallest or another that was located right next to the door. He peeked from behind the statue and watched as Zim walked down the rather long room to a panel of Irkens at the other end of it. Most of them were taller than Zim, and they were wearing rather silly hats that were twice as long as their heads and had a big Irken cash symbol on it, and jackets with collars that rose over their mouths.  
Zim stood before them haughtily with his hands on his hips. "I have come to collect the fabulous prize I won! GIVE TO ZIIIM~" He couldn't help but demand greedily.  
The Irken directly in the middle of the panel had blood red eyes and was the tallest out of those present. "Yes, in good time. First we'll need you to answer a few identification questions, and once you've answered them all, we'll be happy to hand over your prize. First of all, please state your official name, rank and serial number for the record."  
"Invader Zim, serial number 8-8-9-9-7-7-7!" Zim stated with a brief salute.  
"Age?" The bloody-eyed Irken went on in a bored tone.  
"I just completed my nineteenth cycle as of month three, day thirty!" Zim grinned proudly.  
"Congratulations." Red-eyes replied with no sincerity in his voice. "Now then, there's just one more thing we need from you and then the prize is all yours... Please present proof of your biological sex."  
Zim was grinning and making 'gimme-gimme' fingers until he heard the final request. Then his smile fell instantly, his vibrant green skin went incredibly pale, and his eyes widened as far as they could go. He was silent for almost a full minute, until the red-eyed Irken finally spoke up again in a falsely sweetened voice, "Is there a problem?"  
Zim gulped audibly, taking a step back, "N-No, not at all - It's just, I JUST remembered, I-I actually really don't need a fabulous prize after all!"  
The blood-eyed Irken's mouth stretched into a sadistic grin. "Come now, surely you jest."  
"No, no!" Zim insisted, clearly more than just a little nervous. "I'm such an amazing invader, I'm sure I'll conquer something worth much more soon enough! Go ahead and just donate it or something-"  
Almost snickering with mirth, the red-eyed Irken snapped his fingers and the Irken at the furthest end of the panel, whom Zim suddenly realized had a psionic device implanted above her terrifyingly familiar purple eyes, suddenly lunged out of her seat with her spider legs, landing on top of Zim. She quickly pinned him to the ground and then maliciously scratched across his right cheek with her claws. Zim cried out as his pinkish-red blood began to run from the wound, and he thrashed as violently as he could underneath her, trying desperately to get away.  
"Tak, PLEASE don't do this!" Zim was outright begging her. "I thought you didn't want revenge on me!" He added, trying to appeal to her sense of decency.  
But that was just about the worst thing Zim could have said. Tak snarled right in his face, "I -didn't- care about revenge... The FIRST time you screwed up my chance fulfill my life's potential! But after the SECOND? No, we have a score to settle now, Zim!" She let out a ragged little laugh, "But actually, to tell you the truth, nobody else wanted to touch you with a ten-foot-pole, so I'm getting a pretty huge promotion for this job too! Humiliating you is just a bonus!"  
Several other Irkens from the panel jumped up on their spider legs and surrounded Zim and Tak. Blood-eyes commanded her, "Hold him down!" And Tak obeyed, pinning his arms down and sitting on his chest while another orange-eyed Irken approached and, to Dib's growing shock and horror, pulled Zim's pants completely off of him, exposing his genitals - A wormy penis that strongly resembled the alien's tongue, only thicker.  
Dib was frozen at first - He knew he needed to help Zim, but they were severely outnumbered, and he really didn't want to take the chance that while he took them on, one of them might take advantage of Zim's vulnerable position and seriously hurt him. But the guilt rose in him like bile as blood-eyes commanded the orange-eyed one, "Lift it and look underneath."  
The orange-eyed Irken obeyed without question, and Dib's eyes went wide as he saw what was underneath - Though there was no denying what it was, Dib was still unable to believe it at first. But then a magenta-eyed Irken took out some kind of device from his robe, and turned it on. It beamed a holographic identification card in the air with an image of Zim on it, and next to his picture there were four symbols - A red horizontal line, a blue vertical line, a purple triangle, and a plus sign with the red horizontal line and the blue vertical line overlapping each other.  
The red horizontal line had been encircled, but after the magenta-eyed Irken had fiddled around with it, the circle around the red line disappeared and reappeared around the red and blue plus symbol. A robotic voice then announced the obvious, "Biological sex status of Zim is now confirmed. Double-sex."  
"NO!" Zim suddenly screamed, sounding more ashamed and more terrified than Dib had ever heard him.  
Tak scoffed at him, but even she was a little unnerved by just how distressed Zim was, "Calm down, will you? They're not going to kill you for it, Zim, it's just for identification purposes! If you hadn't lied about your sex to begin with, this wouldn't have had to happen!"  
"You LIE! They're going to kill me-!" Zim cried, beginning to thrash again. "Let me GO!"  
Blood-eyes was outright grinning, "No really, Zim - We're not going to kill you for being a double-sexed FREAK. We're going to kill you for entering Irken-controlled territory when you're supposed to be banished!"  
Zim's mouth fell wide open, "You-You can't do that! You TOLD me to come here!"  
"No I didn't." The red-eyed leader replied calmly. "No one strictly ORDERED you to come here, Zim. You came of your own free will, and you WILL be held accountable for that." He sneered down at the terrified little alien, "And don't think Tallest Red is going to swoop in and save you this time either, Zim. These orders came straight from the only person he can't overrule - Tallest Purple himself."  
"Now..." The leader shot one last distasteful look at Zim before turning his back on him, and snapping his fingers at the other Irkens. "Take out this trash."  
There was no more time to wait for a better, more opportune moment. Dib knew that he had to act. Whatever crazy, stupid thing he was going to do, he had to do it now.  
He sprinted from behind his hiding place and ran after Zim, and the other Irkens were so shocked by the newcomer they didn't know what to expect from him at first. They certainly wouldn't have thought in a million years that he was there to actually -save- Zim.  
Tak started to demand of the unknown Irken, not recognizing Dib with the disguise on at first, "What do you think you're-?!"  
He didn't let her get any further than that. He pulled back his five-fingered hand and slapped her -hard- with the back of his hand, knocking her off of Zim and sending her flying several feet across the room. Then he reached down, scooping Zim up into his arms and holding him tight against his chest, and Zim was too traumatized and too grateful for the unexpected rescue to protest.  
At first, he really wasn't sure what else he was going to do after that. The other Irkens were staring at him with their eyes bugged out, completely baffled by who the savior of the most hated Irken in existence could be. But it only took them a moment to get over it, then several Irkens charged at once with their spider legs.  
Dib stared at them as they advanced, no fear in his eyes, only hatred. He had never been so royally pissed off in his entire life. He was never amused by bullies who got their kicks off of causing others pain for no good reason, but knowing now what he did about what his own mother had been through, he was really in no mood to show them mercy after what they'd done to Zim.  
White-hot fury burned in Dib's veins, and he clenched his teeth tight. His skin began to prickle and his head was pounding with a fast-growing migraine. He clenched Zim tighter to his chest, and just before the enemies reached them, a surge of electricity suddenly surrounded Dib and Zim, emitting from Dib's lekku, which was so rigid at this moment it had ripped the tape covering it completely off.  
Dib and Zim were somehow left unharmed by the electricity, but every other Irken in the room was badly shocked, and all their equipment was fried. The spider-legs all wobbled and then crumpled, and the Irkens fell to the floor, just inches away from Dib.  
More Irken soldiers began coming in through the front door, so escaping the way they came in wasn't an option. But Dib's electricity had not just short-circuited the equipment - It had also broken all the windows in the room. So, holding Zim tight, Dib ran for the nearest one, and jumped out. They fell the four levels to the ground, and Dib miraculously managed to land on his feet without breaking any bones. It still hurt like hell, but he ignored the pain and sprinted off, shoving Irkens out of his way.  
A group of soldiers followed after them, but Dib's long legs managed to keep him just ahead of them. Only when they'd reached the ship and entered it did Dib finally put Zim down, quickly taking off his trench-coat and throwing it around Zim's shoulders. Still in shock, Zim wrapped it around himself, grateful for the modesty, and retreated to his room without looking at Yoogli.  
Dib started the ship and took off with it as fast as he could manage. A few drones chased after them, but Dib expertly shot them down. His scary sister wasn't the only one who had better aim when she was pissed.  
Once they passed the atmosphere, Dib just very briefly set the ship's controls to hyper-speed, getting a good distance away quickly before shutting it off again.  
"What the hell happened...?" Yoogli finally dared to ask once things seemed to have settled down. But Dib only replied by shaking his head, indicating that now wasn't the time, and headed over to the door of Zim's room.  
"Zim, are you okay?" He knocked very lightly, almost sure that Zim would react violently. Either that, or Zim would probably tell him to go away, avoid them for days, then emerge as if nothing had ever happened.  
But instead, after a short pause, Zim actually opened the door for him, quickly pulled Dib into his room, and then closed the door behind them. Dib swallowed against his throat, staring down at Zim, who had gotten a new pair of pants on by then but was still clutching Dib's trench-coat around him. Zim was silently staring down at the floor, and Dib mimicked his silence - He really just didn't know what to say at first.  
Finally Zim glared weakly up at him. "I know you saw it..."  
"Zim, it doesn't matter-"  
"Do -not- LIE to me, human!" Zim shoved him back a step. "I lived on your miserable planet for years, I know the customs! You culture considers anything related to females to be weak and inferior! Your own mother was-"  
Dib cut him off there, "I KNOW my mother was raped, okay Zim?! And I know my planet is an uncivilized ball of dirt where females are treated like shit for no reason, but I am NOT like that! I don't care what's between your legs! You're still the same person I always knew! Or did you think I would try to rape you the second I found out about this? If that's the case, then you really don't know me at all!"  
Zim was silent, looking appropriately guilty. Slowly he took a step back, then another, until he reached the edge of his bed, and sat down on it. He lowered his face into his hands, and began to softly shake. He muttered into his palms, "It was all for nothing... It's happening again... Nothing I did made any difference... It's going to happen again... I failed..."  
Dib stared at his traumatized friend, still unsure what to make of everything that was happening, still putting the disconnected puzzle pieces together in his mind. "...This wasn't your fault, Zim." He mentioned, and Zim's head snapped up with a furious glare. But before the alien said anything, Dib sunk to his knees on the floor beside Zim's bed. This subconsciously pacified Zim, because although Dib didn't know it, lowering yourself below the height of another was a sign of submission, or of the utmost trust and respect.  
Zim's anger subsided and Dib went on, "No one deserves to have that happen to them... No one."  
"You wouldn't understand, Dib-" Zim began again stubbornly and with a thick throat.  
But Dib nodded in agreement, "You're right, I don't... Please tell me."  
Zim stared at him, unsure, for several seconds. He was far from eager to tell anyone the biggest, darkest secret of his life. But Dib was the only true friend he had in the world - If he didn't tell him, there was no one else who would care to listen to him...  
Zim took a ragged breath and then suddenly, he flung his arms around Dib's shoulders and tucked his chin against Dib's neck. He felt a little less self-conscious doing it with Dib's Irken disguise on, though he was still well aware how taboo it was. He just didn't care anymore.  
He squeezed the human tight, and proceeded to confess everything. "There are dark periods in my life that I wish I could forget, Dib. But I know now I won't be able to..." Dark magenta eyes slowly gathered pink tears, but the Irken quickly wiped them away before they fell. "I've always been hated just for being who I am, but the truth is, I'm not the only one. Historically, my kind..." He didn't explain what he meant by that and he didn't need to. "Has been hated, judged, and deemed unworthy of life, for the very life we were given..."  
Dib wrapped his arms very loosely around Zim's midsection, giving him plenty of room to push him away if he wanted to. Zim only gripped him tighter, and went on, "Under the rule of Tallest Miyuki, terrible atrocities were committed against innocent Irkens. Some were executed. Others... We had no choice but to hide. And there were only two choices of -how- to hide... Some dismembered themselves and claimed to be female." Dib felt a strong shudder go through Zim's frame. "I refused that option, of course. So there was only one other thing I could do to protect my identity..."  
Zim hesitated for a long moment, until Dib laid a reassuring hand on his lower back. "They had an x-ray scanner stationed at the entrance of the research facility I worked at... I had to pass through it every day, just like everyone else. If my... Spare parts," He ground the word out, making it quite clear what he thought about his own body. "Were detected, I would have been taken away and killed. I had to... There was, this device, this bar, and it would interfere with the scanner, to hide the female parts from detection if it was..."  
Zim suddenly growled loudly and shoved Dib back, getting up to his feet and pacing away from the human. He wrapped his arms around himself, missing Dib's warm arms more than he cared to admit, but too stubborn and too full of shame to continue the contact while speaking the words he was about to utter. "It HURT. It hurt SO bad! I had to wear it everyday and walk around with it inside of me and it BURNED! It chafed my insides raw, left me bruised and bleeding, until I wasn't even sure anymore that DEATH itself could be worse! It was driving me INSANE!"  
Dib watched with wide eyes and a heavy, sympathetic heart as the Irken turned and pounded his fists against a wall, then hid his face against it. "Red promised he would change the rules, and stop the killing, if I could help him become Tallest... I had no choice. It was my life, or theirs..."  
"So that's why you did it..." Dib whispered to himself, putting the rest of pieces together for himself. After what Yoogli had let slip about the deaths of the previous Tallests, Dib had known it couldn't have been an accident. And it was no coincidence that Zim was still alive after 'accidentally' killing them, either. "...I don't blame you one bit. I would have done the same thing."  
"How would you know?" Zim sighed irritably.  
Dib sighed right back and commanded the Irken, "Turn around and look at me, Zim."  
Slowly, Zim turned around to obey, finding Dib in the middle of removing his shirt. He blushed and demanded, "What are you-?"  
Dib looked down, blushing too once the garment had come off. "Do you remember, Zim - Freaking out in gym class a couple years back, when one boy took off his shirt, and you asked him if he was lactating?" Dib couldn't help but snicker at the memory.  
Zim gave him a pouty glare, "Why else would you have mammary tissue?"  
Dib shook his head in amusement. "Just another way us humans differ from Irkens, I guess. All humans start out as females in the womb before hormones kick in and make us completely male or female."  
"That is so weird." Zim couldn't help but smirk a little.  
Dib chuckled, putting his shirt back on, "Yeah, I guess it kinda is. But hey, it's just who I am. There's nothing wrong with it, and there's nothing wrong with you for being just how you are, either."  
Zim's smirk slowly stretched into a small but genuine smile. "...Th... Th-Thanks, Dib..." He forced himself to utter underneath his breath.  
The human shook his head. "No problem. It's just what friends do."  
"Supposedly." Zim shrugged, feeling more than a little awkward after his confession, but also undeniably relieved. "Of course, friend or not, I -will- destroy you if you tell anyone about any of this."  
Dib rolled his eyes, "Friends also keep secrets for each other, Zim." He reminded him blandly.  
"Right... Well, you may continue being my friend elsewhere. I require solitude now." Zim crossed his arms.  
Dib smiled and nodded, "Okay. But, you know... Feel free to talk to me whenever you want. I'll be happy to listen."  
Zim pointed to the door without responding, and Dib got the idea. He headed to the door, but before he opened it to leave, Zim quickly added, "I will, okay? And you can talk to me about your secrets or whatever you want too, and I won't tell anyone either..."  
Dib smiled over his shoulder at him and nodded before heading out the door, but he didn't really think he'd ever take Zim up on that offer.  
After all, Zim WAS his biggest secret...  
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	9. Chapter 9

Frankly Speaking  
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As per usual, Zim and Yoogli avoided each other after the incident just as much as they had before it. But now Zim avoided conversation with anyone as much as possible, keeping himself busy around the ship. He worked so tirelessly he left almost nothing for the others to do, and overall he just hadn't been the same as he was before. Dib was worried about him, but he wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to remind him of the painful memories that were obviously the cause of his mopiness.  
Two weeks later Zim announced they would have to stop for supplies before going any further, and headed course for a planet called Jokkis. Like Tegma, it was also primarily a merchant planet. But it was dinky, half the size of Earth, and it was not controlled by Irkens, but in fact it was cleverly hidden inside of a larger, hollowed-out moon to keep it that way. Holes were drilled into the moon to let the light of their star come in and ships go out, and the planet was suspended in the middle of the moon, held there by gigantic spools of spiderweb at the top.  
Zim allowed Dib to accompany him this time as he headed out onto the shadowy planet. He wouldn't admit it but it was for his own protection - The locals, spider-like humanoids with six arms, red eyes, dark purplish-grey skin and sharp, jutting fangs, didn't trust or like Irkens. But they were small, the tallest among them being barely as tall as Zim, and Dib's height intimidated them into tolerating the newcomers.  
Zim had gone up to one of the stalls, where a Jokki child was manning it, and picked out a canister of the special fuel his ship needed. A little bit went a long way, but it was three times as expensive as it would have been on Tegma, and Zim growled as he handed over most of the monies he had left. He had been planning on getting all kinds of supplies with the lottery he was supposed to have won, but now he sorely wished he had done his shopping before that debacle.  
Dib watched him guiltily as he noticed how little Zim had left after the purchase, and as they walked away from the stall and back to the ship, he mentioned, "I'm sorry that operation you paid for cost so much... I promise I'll find some way to pay you back..." He'd already offered to carry the canister, which was just heavy enough for Zim to struggle slightly with, but no problem at all for the human to handle.  
"You already told me that." Zim snipped back at him, then added more calmly, "It's fine. We had... Enough." He admitted begrudgingly. Then, he forced himself to look over at Dib and quietly also confessed, "Besides... We might not have gotten away without the help of your weird lekku and those new abilities it has..."  
Dib nodded slowly, "Electrokinesis... It IS pretty cool. If only I knew how to control it. When it happened back there, it was pretty much just an emotional response, a big blow-out..."  
"Well then LEARN to control it." Zim crossed his arms and walked on ahead of him.  
As they headed back to the ship, Dib had noticed Zim was even more on edge than usual, and he stopped him just before they boarded the craft, knowing that Zim wouldn't be as comfortable speaking truthfully around Yoogli. "Hey, be honest, Zim... Are you okay?" He inquired deeply.  
Zim knew full well what Dib was really trying to ask, and was just as reluctant to answer as Dib was to spit out the real question on his mind. "I'm fine." The alien answered stubbornly, but he could see right away that the human wasn't convinced. "I'm just... I dunno, stressed out, I guess..."  
Dib nodded in understanding. Anyone would be 'stressed' after what Zim had been through. He wracked his big brain to think of something he could do for his friend, and he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "I could give you a massage?"  
Zim immediately turned and gave him a very surprised stare, which made the human blush. "What-?"  
Dib hurried to explain himself, "Just a back massage! Strictly just to relieve the stress, of course! My dad, he sorta hired women to give me massages for my birthday a few times before..." It had always been pretty obvious what his father was hoping to accomplish by such a gesture. He was always pressuring Dib to be 'normal' - Study normal sciences, be a normal heterosexual. He might as well have gotten Dib a cake that said 'Get Laid'. It was pretty unnecessary besides - Dib admired the female form just as much as he did the male, but there was only ever one being that consistently held his attention.  
Dib went on, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, "Anyways, I'm pretty sure I could replicate what they do, if you want. It seems simple enough..."  
Zim was still staring at him, looking more than a little weirded out, and a bit disgusted. But it was actually in himself, for being so interested in and tempted by the human's strange, out-of-the-blue offer. Massages were one of the most expensive luxuries among Irkens, costing far more than the two hundred monies he'd spent on Dib's procedure. Usually only the tallest, most well-paid Irkens could afford it, as no Irken would touch another's bare skin with their bare hands without being paid handsomely for it.  
On one hand, the prospect did sound somewhat icky, but on the other, Zim had heard from others that the experience was far more pleasurable than it sounded, and the more he tried to deny his temptation, the more his back and shoulders suddenly started to ache with the building stress, and he couldn't think of a good reason to -not- let the human pamper him, especially since he DID owe him. His face contorted several times between being grossed out and tempted until he finally exclaimed, "Oh - Fine! But not until Yoogli has gone to sleep, got it?"  
Dib agreed, and they spent the next few hours avoiding each other's eyes until Yoogli had announced his fatigue and curled up in his usual spot, where GIR snuggled up next to him. Then Zim gestured with one claw for Dib to follow him back to his quarters.  
"Do I need to remove my clothes? I'd rather not." Zim inquired with a raised brow. He already knew it was customary to do so, but he wasn't sure he could go through with it after all if Dib insisted on it. Even if he had already seen the most intimate parts of his body, he hadn't intended for him to and was more than a little self-conscious.  
"No, it's fine." Dib replied reluctantly, hiding his disappointment. "I mean, I did when I got mine. It'd probably make it easier to get under the skin. But you don't need to if you really don't want to."  
"I'm sure you'll be able to get under my skin just fine, Dib - You always have." He half-joked in return, laying down on his stomach in the middle of his bed. "And of course, if I tell you to stop, you will do so immediately or I'll scratch your eyes out." He added, not really serious, but not exactly joking either, as his PAK detached itself from his back and hovered over to rest at his nightstand.  
"Of course, Zim." Dib replied, feigning boredom, then climbed onto the bed, sitting on his knees, which straddled each side of Zim's hips. Then he reached down and placed his palms gently on each side of the alien's smaller back, feeling the skin and bones beneath the fabric. They felt deceptively fragile, though Dib already knew they were not. Still, he was more tender than he was sure he needed to be at first, just in case.  
Zim went still as Dib began, involuntarily tense while in the vulnerable position. But it wasn't long at all before Dib's soft fingers, which were rubbing small circles into his shoulders and upper back, careful to avoid the PAK's entry points, had him almost purring.  
On his end, Dib was mindful to focus on what he was doing to Zim and not let himself get too worked up over it. But he couldn't deny how fascinated he was. How many times had he wished he could study the alien this close? Well, it was for completely different reasons, but it was still pretty cool.  
After a few minutes had passed, Dib moved a hand to the back of Zim's neck, rubbing in circles on each side. Zim tensed up again, and Dib figured it was because the neck was such a vulnerable area. But the alien spoke up a moment later, "Remember not to touch my lekku..."  
Dib's hand stilled. "I knew that already, Zim." He replied in a slightly annoyed sigh. "Yoogli taught me Irken manners as well as the language, remember."  
"I'm just saying-" Zim began to growl.  
But Dib cut him off, "I'M just saying, Zim - I wouldn't take advantage of you or anyone else like that." His hand stilled as a memory flashed in his mind, and hesitated for just a moment before he quietly admitted, "I know how it feels, okay. I wouldn't do it to someone else..."  
Zim glanced over his shoulder at the human curiously, his eyes silently asking for an explanation. Dib hesitated again, silent at first, so Zim pressed him, "What do you mean...?" He then smacked Dib's hand away his neck, and turned around to face him.  
Dib averted his eyes, stubbornly silent. He climbed off of Zim and sat on the edge of the bed, hands gripping his knees. "...Dwicky." He finally whispered.  
"Dwicky?" Zim repeated, confused at first. "But, that was way back... When you were still just a smeet..."  
Dib paused before he went on. He hadn't told anyone about this before, not even Gaz or his father. "...Yeah, I know. I was just a kid. A weird, messed-up kid who was desperate for attention..."  
Anger and repulsion slowly began to rise up in Zim's spooch. "Is that what he told you? What did he DO-?"  
Dib shook his head several times. "It's what I told myself. And he really didn't even do much, actually. Just held my hand, told me lies I wanted to believe, and..."  
"...And?" Zim urged him on.  
Dib swallowed at his throat. "...He asked me if I was gay. He told me it was okay if I was. I told him I didn't know. I was confused. I thought he believed me, I thought I could trust him and I liked him, so I... I kissed him." He confessed with a shudder. "I was just a kid, a really lonely, stupid kid. I didn't really know any better. But he DID, he should have-He should have pushed me away, but he didn't, he kissed me back. He asked me afterward if I was still confused. I told him no, and I thought I wasn't - I fell in love with that prick and then he went and told me he was lying about believing me the whole time, and left me behind like I was nothing..."  
"He was scum." Zim replied immediately, getting up from his lying down position and sitting next to Dib. "But then again, it WAS kind of stupid for you to 'fall in love'," He put up his fingers in quotations and used the phrase in a derisive voice. "Seeing as how the practice ends badly virtually all the time."  
Dib glared weakly at him, but he couldn't get too mad, since he was absolutely right. "Love always ends badly. Either you end up hating each other after a while or you really do find someone to love and they eventually die. It's not how it ends that makes it worth it. It's the time in between."  
"Feh." Zim scoffed. "You really are SUCH a human..."  
"What, you're telling me Irkens never fall in love?"  
"Irkens may occasionally develop close bonds with another, but it is seen as a weakness by most. Caring too much for another distracts you from your work. Especially if the relationship becomes sexual, which as I've mentioned, is against the law unless it's officially approved."  
Dib crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, "So what's the criteria for being approved for sex?"  
"Being genetically capable of breeding superior smeets, of course. Both partners have to be fully Irken, at least one hundred and seventy centimeters tall, have no communicable diseases, no genetic defects, and the Irken that carries the smeet must be physically capable of the task."  
"What about same-sex relationships?" Dib inquired further.  
Zim gave him a flat-out 'duh' sort of expression. "If they aren't capable of reproducing, there would be no reason for them to even bother to apply for approval."  
"Oh come on!" Dib suddenly exclaimed. "What about just doing it for FUN?"  
"It's forbidden because it's a distraction, I already told you that! Besides," Zim made a face of disgust, sticking out his tongue. "What could possibly be so FUN about exchanging gross bodily fluids?"  
Dib snorted out a laugh, his face going pink. "It's a LOT more fun than it sounds - It has to be, obviously, if it's so much of a 'distraction'. Trust me Zim, you guys are missing out..."  
Zim's face also went slightly pink, but from anger. He didn't like not understanding things or being left out. "Disgusting Dib-worm! Just how MANY humans have you slobbered on like the Dwicky?"  
Now Dib was miffed too, and his face went from pink to red. "Hey, not very many at all, thank you very much! Gretchen was the only other human I was ever intimate with!"  
"The metal-mouthed beast? The one who looked sorta like your scary sister, only uglier?" Zim didn't bother to stifle his gag, and Dib felt more than a little sickened by the comparison as well. "But wait - She is female. So are you NOT 'gay'?"  
Dib looked away and mumbled, "I'm kinda into both, okay..."  
"Pffft!" Zim suddenly began to laugh, though there was a slight hint of nervousness beneath the mirth. "Come now, that's just ridiculous! Do you humans even have double-sexed individuals?"  
Dib turned back and glared at him. "Actually we do! It's rare, but it happens. You just wouldn't know it because humans are so fixated on assigning gender to things. Blue is for boys, pink is for girls - It IS ridiculous really. So usually when an 'intersex' human is born, the parents usually force one gender or the other on the child instead of letting them decide for themselves. But it's not that I ONLY like people with BOTH sexes at once, I like both sexes just fine separately! Also..." He looked away again. "It's not really the sex I'm most concerned about in the first place. I really don't care what people have between their legs, what I'm most concerned about is if I like them for who they are, not WHAT they are..."  
"So what was it you liked about Gretchen so much, that made you want to mate with her?" Zim went on, unashamed as usual.  
"Oh for pete's sake-We didn't 'mate'! I mean, we didn't 'go all the way'." Zim looked visibly confused, so with a deep blush, Dib briefly explained, "We just, kinda, kissed, and uh... Used our hands..."  
Dib rubbed the back of his head awkwardly and coughed, ignoring the grossed out glance Zim had directed at his hands - Clean freak... "And, I dunno, I guess I just kinda liked that she liked me... It wasn't a very good reason." He admitted.  
"Ugh. Were you really that desperate for attention?"  
"...Yeah, I was." Dib admitted quietly, several hidden emotions buried in his eyes.  
Zim became quiet too, secretly a little ashamed of himself. That was unnecessarily cruel of him - Not that he'd ever worried about being too cruel before. But he couldn't ignore the sadness in Dib's voice, the deep, stinging pain he was obviously feeling but not showing. "...You shouldn't be. You're smarter, braver, and kinder than any other human I've ever met. You shouldn't settle for anyone, you deserve better than that - You ARE better than that. You should be with who you really want to be with."  
Dib stared over at the shorter being for a long moment. Then finally he looked down again, and softly shook his head. "It's not always that simple. You can't always be with the one you really want to be with... But then," He amended, his mood slowly picking up again. "Sometimes it's enough to be there FOR them. If you really love a person, you'll want what's best for them. And sometimes that means never telling them how you really feel, if you know they could never feel the same way for you..."  
Zim was as confused as ever. "What? That's dumb, Dib. Even dumber than usual. How could you know how the other person feels if you never tell them how you feel?"  
After another long pause, Dib simply shrugged. "Do you feel less stressed now?" He asked, avoiding the last question.  
"Huh? Oh, yeah, actually..." Zim reached behind and rubbed at his shoulders. He actually did feel significantly less stressed. "Thanks... But, of course, you'll have to do it a few more times before we're even." One massage was actually worth ten times what Zim had paid, but Dib didn't need to know that...  
Dib cracked a grin. "Sure, anytime. Consider me your massage slave."  
Zim grinned back at him. He liked the sound of that.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


	10. Chapter 10

Every Dork Has His Day

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Another few weeks passed, and the Dual Ship was coming near to the planet where Leevee's invitation had indicated the gathering to be located. It was a smaller-sized mud-ball with no official name, plenty of flora but relatively little fauna, most of it still in it's seas. It was hidden behind three moons which were all at least as large as the planet itself. Constantly rotating around it, one moon was always obscuring most of the view of the planet, as well as providing adequate shade from the nearest sun, which was a brilliant emerald color, and cast an eerie green glow upon the mostly green planet.  
Zim landed close to the coordinates indicated, parking the ship a few miles away from the beach of a gorgeous hunter-green sea. In the distance there were rows upon rows of hills and mountains, somewhere in which the gathering was supposed to be held. The air was breathable, so they left their helmets behind as they began their hike, as well as Orby, who was keeping GIR on a literal short leash while they were gone.  
They crossed over several of the mossy hilltops until they came to a plain of tall grass (nearly as tall as Zim) at the bottom of the largest mountainside. In the midst of the plain, a temporary dwelling had been constructed, covered with the grass and moss to camouflage it with all the surrounding greenery.  
It took a few minutes to find the cleverly hidden entrance, but they eventually came across a patch of the building that sported a tiny window, for peeking at newcomers. Yoogli stepped forward and knocked hesitantly. No one answered at first, and Yoogli was about to try to knock again, but Zim got impatient and banged on the door himself.  
A rather tall and broad Irken with squinty orange eyes opened the door. "Who are you? What are you doing here?" He demanded gruffly.  
Dib had donned his Irken disguise for the occasion, but there were a few changes made this time. His lekku had become slightly more rigid in the past few weeks since the procedure and could no longer be taped down without his discomfort, so they ditched the fake two lekku and just let the real one be. He had also insisted on brown-colored contacts this time, saying that he wanted to be more like himself just this once. Since this gathering was apparently forbidden anyways, Zim had reluctantly agreed to let him.  
Dib spoke up for the group, since Yoogli was too shy and intimidated by the much bigger Irken and Zim was likely to get them turned away with his attitude, "Our friend Yoogli got an invitation from his friend Leevee, he said he could come and that he could bring guests."  
The bigger Irken raised a brow, then with a sigh he replied simply, "Wait."  
He closed the door behind him and disappeared for a few moments. When the door opened again, a semi-tall female Irken with blood-red eyes, dark olive skin and a zig-zag lekku, opened the door first, "Alright, who are you and what kind of sick joke do you think you're pulling?!" She demanded.  
Dib couldn't help but stare at her. She looked very much like most other Irkens he'd ever seen, except, to his great surprise, she had a pair of breasts, albeit very small ones, complete with nipples that were sticking out from beneath the thin fabric of her red tunic. He tried to remember his manners and not stare, though - Especially since the female was already displeased with them being there at all.  
But then another, shorter Irken, only two or three inches taller than Yoogli, pushed his way past the moody female. This one had a much lighter, pale-mint colored skin tone, candy cane-shaped lekku, and big, bright, sky blue eyes. His eyes went even bigger at the sight of Yoogli, and they very quickly filled up with fat blue tears.  
Yoogli tried to give him a smile through the emotions that were quickly overtaking him too. "Leevee, it's me, do you remember? It's me, Yoo-"  
"YOOGLI!" The blue-eyed Irken suddenly cried, rushing forward and throwing his arms around the smaller Irken. He hugged him tight for a few seconds, and then he pulled back, stared into Yoogli's face for a moment, to make absolutely sure, before swooping down and capturing the surprised little Irken's lips in a firm kiss.  
Leevee's eyes were the only ones that hadn't gone completely wide, his were scrunched shut. After a short pause, the red-eyed female began to laugh. "Leevee! I think that sip of wine might have gone to your head!"  
Embarrassed, Leevee pulled back after that, a blue blush dusting his cheeks. "I'm so sorry Yoogli, I just-"  
Yoogli immediately shook his head, the corner of his lips curling up. "No, it's okay! It's REALLY okay!" He was full-out grinning now.  
Leevee glanced shyly back at the two behind him, deciding to change the subject before things got too awkward. "And you brought others with you too - Wait. ZIM?" Leevee's smile fell and he took an involuntary step back. "Uuuh - Shala?" Leevee looked back at his female companion, his blue eyes begging for her help.  
She stepped forward, staring hard at the newcomers. But before Zim could give her any attitude, Yoogli rushed to explain, "They saved me! I was trapped in a completely different dimension for years, and they found me and brought me back. Dib here has been especially kind to me." He pointed out with a smile at the human hybrid. "And, uh, yeah, Zim helped too." He added reluctantly. "He brought Dib with him." This was said a little more charitably.  
Zim glared at the shorter Irken and crossed his arms. "Are we welcome or not?"  
Shala glared right back at him, her lip curling in distaste. "...Alright, Zim, Dib - You two can stay. But I am warning you right now, Zim! I'm only letting YOU in because you helped out our fellow comrade, and because of the work you did for Tallest Red that one time. This gathering is for Irkens and allies who side with Tallest Red and are against Tallest Purple's new agenda, which is probably something you'll want to hear about. BUT, you'd BETTER be on your best behavior while you're here, or I personally will kick your ass out! Got it?!" She snarled, bending down to look Zim right in the eye.  
He averted his eyes to the side, avoiding the fierce female's alcohol-laden breath. "Fine!"  
She gave him one last glare before motioning them to follow her inside, explaining along the way as they walked down a long hallway, "You guys just missed the opening speech that was given, so I'll fill you in. As you know, Red has been trying to keep the peace with Purple for years, and until earlier this year, it was going as well as could be expected. Purple was content to stay out of the politics and let Red handle things as long as we kept him pampered and spoiled. But things have changed now. Purple used to be intimidated by Red, but he's been getting bolder lately, and more vocal about his opinions on the superiority of sexless Irkens. And then just last year, he started a new 'identification campaign', forcing everyone to provide physical proof of their sexes. So far he's been insisting it's ONLY for identification purposes, but we all know better..."  
"It's what they said the last time it happened..." Leevee added, walking next to Yoogli with his arm linked with the shorter Irken's. "But even if it was for identification only, it's still a terrible thing to inflict on a fellow Irken. Forcing me to show them was the most horrible thing I've been through since the last time it happened, when I had to cut myself..."  
"Right..." Shala agreed sympathetically, "So, in secret, Red has been assembling his most loyal followers to enact a counter-measure, and we all came here tonight to meet one another, discuss our plans, and have a good time. We probably won't get another chance to do so for a while, if ever again..."  
"Is Tallest Red here too?" Zim inquired eagerly, still wanting to see him even though Red obviously wanted nothing more to do with Zim.  
The female shook her head, "No, he can't be seen outwardly supporting us. If Purple were to find out about it, it could severely compromise our plans."  
"And what ARE those plans?" Zim pressed.  
"It's on a need-to-know basis - And YOU don't need to know." Shala growled back him, stopping for a second to look him in the eyes again. "Listen Zim, we all know you're loyal to Red - But there's nothing more you can do for him. You did your part and you were almost executed for it. Don't tempt fate, because you won't get away with it again. We're taking care of Red's agenda now, so just stay out of it. Stick around and have some nachos or whatever and then just get out of here, okay?"  
Zim was silently seething, but he remained quiet. He refused to admit it out loud, or even fully to himself, but she was right. Purple was already wary of him, that was why he was trying to get rid of him...  
Shala then turned her attention towards Dib, who hadn't been able to resist taking another glance or three at her unusual anatomy - Because, science. Of course. "And you - Dib, was it? Will you quit -staring-? I know you're looking at them - Have you never seen another Irken Hybrid before?"  
Dib blushed deeply and averted his eyes. "I-I'm so sorry. But, well, not really. I just learned I was an Irken Hybrid a pretty short while ago. I've only seen one other." Not much of an excuse since his own species had breasts too, he mentally scolded himself. And actually, he reminded himself as well, it was more like two. Except, he'd never seen his sister's true form before. How weird, he thought, to have known a person your whole life and not know what they really look like...  
She gave him a stern look, but then she suddenly grinned. "They're pretty awesome, don't you think? Other Irkens have been teasing me about them ever since I got them, but I LIKE them!"  
Dib's eyes went a little wide and he put on a nervous smile. Complimenting a female on her breasts wasn't usually considered polite, but Shala seemed proud of them, so why leave her hanging? "Oh, uh, yeah, they're pretty cool..." He answered awkwardly.  
Her grin stretched even further at his praise, and she reached over and gave him a playful punch on the shoulder. "There's a few other Hybrids here too, you should meet them. No one here cares if you're unofficial. Almost everyone here has been treated like an outcast for one reason or another. So come on - Time to meet your missing link!"  
Shala continued to lead them through the hallway until they reached another door, and just beyond that door, they headed into a much larger room, where a crowd of various Irkens, Hybrids, and even a handful of Vortians had assembled. To one side of the room was a large table with various kinds of snacks. Some of them familiar-looking, like the nachos and donuts, but some of them decidedly not - Dib held his tongue in cheek as he watched one hungry Irken grab a handful of what looked like bright green worms, and chomp them down.  
To the back of the room was a stage, and there were four Irkens up on it, fiddling with miniature computers that were hanging around their necks, which produced a somewhat bland kind of techno beat. In the middle of the room, a handful of the bravest Irkens were attempting to dance to it, although it was clear that not a one of them had very much practice with the art, if any at all. Mostly they were just kicking their legs and waving their arms, and Dib had to bite his bottom lip to politely keep from laughing at their comical motions.  
Shala noticed and she nudged him. "Can YOU dance, comrade?"  
"Um..." Dib paused, not quite sure how to answer that. In all honesty, his father had sent him to a few formal dancing classes before, as every once in a while he was expected to attend a fancy gala of some sort or another with him, and dance with some other distinguished man's daughter. He'd learned well and was actually rather graceful if he was trying to be - After all, it simply wouldn't do to step on the toes of the daughter of a senator or an ambassador.  
He was about to lie and tell her 'Not really', but Zim spoke up before him. "Hah! Dib, dance? If you want something to make you laugh, I suppose. What was that terrible move they made you do in gym class, the 'Chicken'? Yes, do that one, Dib!" He smirked.  
Dib glared deeply down at the magenta-eyed twerp. "That was gym class you jerk, all the dances they make you do in there are dumb! I can dance better than that!" He exclaimed heatedly.  
Shala crossed her arms and looked at him expectantly. "Oh? Well then show us!"  
Dib's cheeks burned. Man he hated being put on the spot like that. He couldn't take back his words now, but he wasn't about to make a fool of himself, BY himself. "Alright then Shala, how about you dance with me?" He asked her in a challenging tone.  
She blinked owlishly in surprise and more than a little confusion. "Dance... WITH you? How do you dance WITH someone else...?"  
Now it was Dib's turn to smirk. He held out a hand to her and bowed his head slightly. "Care to find out?"  
Too curious to resist, Shala took his hand, and Dib immediately pulled her in close against his chest, placing her other hand on his shoulder and his spare hand on her waist. Then he pulled her out to the middle of the dance-floor, and began to sway and twirl with her.  
The other Irkens moved out of their way, staring, mesmerized by the exciting new display. The music-makers on stage briefly stopped to watch them, their music tapering off for a moment before they started it back up again, adjusting their tune to better match the new form of dance, the beat was now more of a melody.  
Shala, normally a very bold, take-charge kind of individual, was so shocked by this stranger and his lovely new form of dance, that she followed his lead without question, her eyes wide and her mouth just slightly ajar. Suddenly, Dib grasped her waist firmly, and dipped her down. She gasped and grabbed the back of his shirt, almost thinking he was about to drop her. But when she realized that he hadn't, her mouth stretched into a wide smile, and when he pulled her back upright again, she giggled excitedly. "Comrade!" She exclaimed, her tone somewhat accusing, but mostly amused.  
He winked before bringing her back up, finally ending the dance with a slight bow of his head. Shala did not return the bowing gesture, too proud for it, but she grinned big at him. "That was amazing, Dib!"  
Suddenly three other females from the crowd rushed over to Dib. The first to reach him had eyes the color of pure pink rose petals, and skin that was almost the same shade as Zim's, a light but also slightly ashen lime green, hers was just slightly less ashen and a bit more lime-y. Her antennae was curled into a perfect spiral at the end, and Dib could tell even without the jealous stares he was getting from several of the males, that she was considered extremely beautiful. "I'm Meg! Dance with me next, Dib!"  
Next to her there was a just slightly taller, thinner female with teal green eyes who added quickly, "Bri would be honored to dance with you too!" And next to her a somewhat short and pudgy purple eyed Irken girl chimed in, "Oh, me too, please!"  
Zim watched with wide, slowly-stricken eyes as Meg, not only the prettiest Irken in the room by far, but also the Irken who was voted the last three cycles in a row to be the most lovely of all Irkens (leave it to Red to have the Irken equivalent of a supermodel in his entourage) fawned over Dib as if he were the greatest thing since sugar itself. And not just her, every other Irken in the room was crowding around him, telling him how great he was. Nothing in all his life had ever felt quite this wrong - Everything he'd ever wanted most in his life, praise and adoration from his people, DIB was getting it...?  
Dib, a big smile on his face and his heart full of elation, had started to sway with Meg, when he noticed Zim in the corner of his eyes. He was turning and walking away back towards the entrance/exit door, his lekku lowered, looking downright miserable. At first Dib was almost as bitter as Zim that he couldn't just be happy for him, but the human quickly realized why he of course couldn't be, and felt kind of bad for him. He slowly stopped swaying with Meg and gave her an apologetic glance. "Sorry, I have to tend to something..." He explained to her briefly, then let go of her hands and walked away from the crowd.  
The other Irkens let him when they realized who he was going after, and he caught up with Zim just as he was heading out the door. "Zim, wait." He called softly, ducking inside of the door just before it closed, leaving the two of them in the hallway alone.  
Zim turned and glared harshly at him. "What? Were you not enjoying yourself back there, Dib? Finally being the center of attention, isn't that what you always wanted? So why don't you just have one of your new friends drive you back home, I'm sure they'd be SO honored-"  
Dib interrupted him there, "Okay, seriously Zim? Shut the fuck up for a minute. I WAS enjoying myself, thank you very much, until you started getting all pouty about it. But no, I can't continue to be happy if my BEST FRIEND is miserable! Don't you - Do you SERIOUSLY not know? Come on." He lowered his voice and spoke more softly now. "Zim, you have always been... And always WILL be... My absolute favorite alien."  
He stared into Zim's magenta eyes. "So, if you really want to go, we can, because I'm going with you... But wouldn't you rather come back and dance with me?" He asked, holding out his hand.  
Zim stared at him, a flurry of overwhelming emotions inside of him. It hadn't exactly been what he was mad about to begin with, but somehow it made it feel better that Dib, who had every reason to want to enjoy his newfound respect and popularity, cared more about Zim, how he felt and what he wanted. That out of all the Irkens in the room, all the prettier, stronger, smarter, taller Irkens, Zim was the one that meant the most to him, even after how shabbily he had treated him.  
For one of the very few times in his life, Zim felt ashamed of himself. But it was nothing compared to how glad he was to have Dib feel that way. "I... Yes." He finally admitted quietly, taking Dib's hand. "I would like that..."  
Dib curled his fingers around Zim's smaller palm, and led him back into the main room. The dance floor was now more crowded than before, with Irkens pairing up with each other to imitate Dib's dancing. They moved out of the way when Dib emerged again with Zim in tow, staring as he placed Zim's arms around his waist, and put his around Zim's shoulders. Then he began to simply rock the two of them from side to side, staring in Zim's eyes all the while.  
Zim stared back, his expression unreadable. Neither of them cared, but both of them could hear the others speaking about them.  
"He's dancing with ZIM?"  
"Well, nobody's perfect."  
"No kidding. Tall and handsome and a good dancer - Of course his beautiful big head would have to be crazy, too..."  
Normally Dib would say something about that, but he couldn't bring himself to care enough right now. He led Zim around the room in his semi-embrace, the two of them simply enjoying each other's presence. But after a while, Shala cut in, poking Dib on the shoulder.  
"Hey, Dib, you should try some of this!" She offered, motioning to a tray that a shorter, red eyed Irken was holding up for them. On the tray there were several shot-glasses full of a strange-looking liquid. It seemed to go back and forth from a deep burgandy color and a dark emerald green. Shala explained, "It's Vortian wine - And let me tell you, those Vortians do NOT fuck around with their wine!" She giggled.  
Dib had stolen from his dad's stash at home a couple times before, so he shrugged, thinking it couldn't be much worse than that, and took a shot for himself and one for Zim. Handing the second glass to him, he held up his own and clinked it before putting the rim to his lips and sending it to the back of his throat.  
He almost spat it back out, but he clamped his hand over his lips and forced himself to gulp it down, his eyes watering as the extremely bitter fluid burned it's way down his throat. Shala hadn't been kidding - His father didn't even buy liquor that wasn't at least 80 proof. This had to be at least twice as strong as that, if not more.  
"Oh man..." Dib coughed, his stomach turning as he handed the empty glass back. But it wasn't very long before it settled, his body began to feel warm, and he started to giggle as he looked over at Zim. He hadn't yet drank from his glass, and was still looking at it uncertainly. "Y'know, Zim, on second thought, maybe you shouldn't - That stuff is REALLY strong..."  
Zim glared at him, taking it as a challenge. "Zim is stronger!" He exclaimed before taking the shot. He too had to hold his mouth to keep from spitting it out, his eye twitching as he forced himself to swallow it. Once he had, a shudder went through his body and he stuck out his serpentine tongue in disgust.  
Dib snorted, holding back a laugh as he asked, "Do you feel okay, Zim...?"  
Zim was quiet for a minute, but then he suddenly started to grin, and took Dib by the hand, "I feel like dancing some more!" He exclaimed, dragging the human back out onto the middle of the dance floor.  
Dib grinned and followed him, this time taking one of Zim's hand's in his, and putting the other behind his shoulder. Zim followed suit and put his spare hand on Dib's lower back, and then Dib began to lead them into a spin, going in circles anywhere there was room to go.  
They danced until they were dizzy, and then Dib led them back to some chairs on the outer edges of the room to rest. Shala came back, this time holding the tray of drinks herself. It had three shots left on it, and she took one for herself, gulping it down quickly before sitting down next to Dib. "Hey, want one more? Us bigger, taller Irkens can usually handle two!"  
Dib was tempted, but he wasn't sure he ought to. But then Zim reached over him and took one of the two remaining drinks. "Zim is tall, so he can handle another!" He declared arrogantly, gulping it down before anyone could protest.  
Well, he couldn't let the twerp outdrink him. So Dib took the last shot and poured it down his gullet, swallowing it with just barely a bit more ease now that he knew what to expect. Zim then announced that he was hungry, and headed over to the snack table. Dib decided that he could go for a bite himself, and followed him there.  
He tried one of their donuts first. It was a simple ring of fried sugary bread, they had no glaze or anything inside of them. Not bad at all, but not particularly interesting. So Dib decided to try a nacho next. The chips looked and tasted similar enough to a corn or potato chip, though they were made from some other kind of starch. The sauce looked like your standard orange nacho cheese sauce, so that's what Dib assumed it was at first. But when it hit his tongue, instead of the salty cheesy goodness he was expecting, the sauce turned out to be extremely sweet instead, and tasted like a weird mix of something like caramel, peanut butter, and just a hint of coffee.  
Because it was unexpected it didn't taste so great at first, but Dib gave it another try with a more open mind, and it wasn't as bad. Then he tried covering one of the simple donuts in the sweet sauce, and although a few Irkens gave him extemely odd looks for it, the fried ring actually tasted better to him like that.  
The starches settled his stomach, although his body still felt plenty warm and giddy, and he got thirsty after that. There was a punch bowl, and he filled a cup and drank it down, tasting some kind of berry flavor. He was about to fill another cup when Zim staggered over from munching on some white candy sticks, about to do the same. Dib politely let him go first.  
But Zim reached down so fast, he hit the edge of the bowl and tipped it over off the side of the table. The juice and fragments of the bowl went all over the floor with a loud crash, and after that silence reigned and everyone stared.  
Zim stared silently too. At first. Then, "PFFFFT-HAHAHAHA!"  
Dib rubbed his forehead in amazement, embarrassed for the both of them. He was definitely more than a little tipsy himself, but man, Zim was freaking hammered. Obviously Zim wasn't tall enough to handle that second shot after all...  
Shala tapped him on the back of his shoulder, mirroring his expression as she whispered, "Hey, Dib, it's been a blast - But can you do us all a huge favor and get him out of here before he breaks something else?"  
He grinned apologetically and nodded, coming up behind Zim and gently pushing him away from the scene and towards the exit. Still giggling madly, Zim let him.  
Dib overheard some Irkens commenting as they left, "He was pretty cool, don't you think?"  
"Yeah, totally cool!"  
"Cool, but definitely crazy! I mean, being buddies with ZIM is one thing, but did you SEE what he did to that donut...?"  
Dib laughed it off and headed through the exit, where he discovered Yoogli and Leevee hiding behind the other side, locked in a passionate kiss, their worm-like tongues wrigling around each other. Zim and Dib both couldn't help but stare for a moment, and feeling their stares, Yoogli and Leevee looked up with a blush, and parted.  
Yoogli coughed awkwardly. "Oh, uh, hey guys! LISTEN - Leevee has been kind enough to offer to let me cruise with him in his ship from here on out, so, I'm gonna go with him now! But, really..." He added sincerely, taking both of their hands and squeezing them. "Thank you guys for everything."  
Zim took his hand back and rolled his eyes as he wobbled down the hall. "Yeah, yeah, whatever..."  
Dib briefly squeezed his hand in return and nodded with a big smile. Then he left them behind and went after Zim, taking one of his arms and putting it around his neck to help keep him steady as they headed back towards their ship.  
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	11. Chapter 11

A Mighty Need

(( A.N. This chapter is kinda short but I think you guys'll like it, hehe~ xP And just to warn ya, I wouldn't exactly call this a 'lemon' (or should I?) but it's definitely, uh... Citrus-y? A hint of lime? Bah, just read it. XD;; ))  
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Zim was still unsteady on his feet and giggling like a loon by the time they got back to the ship. Once they were safely inside, Dib led him to his chair by the dashboard, and afterward he plopped down into his own. Zim grinned and spinned around in his swivel chair a few times. "Sooo, where to now, Dib?"  
Dib laughed softly under his breath and shook his head. "Zim, you're not even supposed to drive a car when you're drunk, let alone a SPACE SHIP." He pointed out fairly. "Lets just stay here a few hours until we've sobered up. We don't want to drive into -another- black hole, after all."  
"Feh, fine. But what do you want to do until then? Zim is booored!" He complained.  
"I dunno." Dib replied with a shrug. "I'm pretty good, honestly. That was... Actually, probably one of the most amazing nights of my life." He admitted, his lips stretching into the biggest grin ever.  
"Reeeally..." Zim got up from his chair on slightly shaky legs, and then he leaned over Dib's seat, balancing himself on the armrests. "I think I know a way to make it better..."  
Dib had raised an eyebrow and was about to ask him how, but then out of nowhere, Zim had leaned down and pressed his lips harshly against Dib's. The human's eyes went wide and the rest of him went still, unable to believe what was happening at first. The kiss was sloppy and demanding, it was more than obvious that Zim had no experience with what he was doing, but that wasn't what Dib was most concerned about anyways.  
Still, even if it was strange and unexpected, it was also too good to deny, and though he felt guilty about it, Dib allowed himself to enjoy the sensation for just a few seconds. A few seconds ended up turning into a moment or so, but when Zim decided to settle down on Dib's lap, he knew he had to end it then or he might not still be able to later. He quickly but gently pushed Zim away and pulled back himself with a gasp, "Zim, wait, stop. We shouldn't do this." He tried to protest weakly.  
"Zim wants to..." The Irken protested back with half-lidded eyes.  
Dib raised an eyebrow at him, "Okay, so, WHY do you want to?"  
Zim shrugged lazily and averted his eyes. "Yoogli and Leevee were doing it, and Zim thought it looked fun..."  
Simple curiosity, huh? It was kind of cute, and Dib was sorely tempted to indulge him, but he wasn't drunk enough himself to know that it wasn't right. "Come on Zim, stop and think about it for a moment. If you were sober would you still be doing or saying these things?"  
Zim paused for just a second, "...Mmm, no... But I'd still be thinking and feeling them..." He admitted hazily.  
Dib's brow shot upwards. Obviously Zim would never admit that either if he was sober, but he couldn't help but press for just a bit more information while he still had the chance. "...W-What do you feel about me...?"  
"...It... It's stronger than hate..." Zim answered vaguely, in barely more than a whisper.  
Dib stared intensely at him, stricken silent for a moment. His heart was pounding so fast and hard he could feel the beat throughout his entire body. Everything else was so quiet except for that, his own drumming pulse in his ears. But then Zim began to lean down again, and Dib quickly turned his head away and insisted, "We CAN'T, Zim. We both know that in the morning you'll hate me again, and you'll probably hate me even more if I do this, so-"  
"DIB." Zim suddenly interrupted him with a growl, grabbing both of the human's shoulders and looking him right in the eye. He took a steely breath and answered very evenly, "I swear I will not..."  
Again, Dib stared silently for a few seconds, thinking - Zim would sometimes speak about himself as himself, but sometimes he spoke about himself as if he were another being. Dib used to chalk it up as an alien idiosyncrasy, but he'd come to believe it was more unique to Zim personally, as a response to how his people so often treated him. He'd been referring to himself as 'Zim' more than usual since he'd taken his first shot earlier in the evening, but the way he'd spoken his last words, acknowledging himself as being in control of his actions and desires, Dib just knew it was different.  
Still, he wasn't completely convinced just yet. "Do you even know... WHAT you want...? I mean, do you just want to kiss, or...?" Dib asked, more curious and tempted than he'd ever been in his life.  
Zim's cheeks filled with color. He was sitting with his legs on either side of one of Dib's. The only thing between that leg and his genitals was their clothing, and Zim was abruptly very aware of that. Suddenly overtaken by a rare bout of shyness, Zim buried his head against Dib's collar. "I don't... I'm not sure, I just..." He suddenly growled out his frustration and admitted, "I have A MIGHTY NEED...!"  
Dib groaned weakly, his composure slipping. Well, there was only one thing left to do, to see if Zim really meant it or not. "Can I..." He began, just as shyly, "I mean - May I, touch your lekku...?" Surely Zim wouldn't agree to that if he didn't really, totally trust him... Dib hoped so anyways.  
Zim's face was now almost as pink as it was green, seriously considering his request. It was definitely a scary prospect to say the least, but he was every bit as tempted as Dib was. So he dug his face in further against the crook of Dib's neck and finally whispered, "...Y-Yes..."  
Dib took a deep breath and let it out. "W-Well... Okay..." He relented after just the slightest hesitation.  
Slowly he wrapped his arms around Zim's back, pulling him into a loose embrace. Then he slid his hands up Zim's back, over his shoulders and neck and finally behind his head. Zim was already starting to shiver before Dib had even touched the appendages, but when Dib suddenly grasped them by the base with his thumbs and index fingers, his shiver turned into a strong shudder, and Zim gasped sharply against his shoulder.  
Zim had touched his own lekku before, but only when he was itchy or using them to detect something, never with these kinds of intentions. It was a completely different sensation to have another person's hands on the most sensitive area of his body. Those warm, fleshy, human finger-pads of his rubbed in small circles around the sensitive base of his rigid but pliant lekku, immediately sending shock-waves of endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin coursing through his body. It was strongest in his brain, his neck, spine and genitals, but Zim could feel it all the way down to the tips of his toes and finger claws, which he dug into Dib's forearms without thinking about it.  
"Uhn..." The alien groaned against the crook of Dib's neck, his thighs instinctively squeezing around Dib's thigh. Dib gasped a little then too at the feel of Zim's quickly growing erection, the member writhing against him like a creature with a mind of it's own, and beneath that, he could swear he could feel a bit of moisture starting to spread on his jeans. Zim hadn't been kidding about these things being super sensitive...  
Of course, Zim wasn't -not- paying attention to his genitals either, and was hyper-aware of how almost painfully hard he was. That sensation alone was almost completely new, save for a few times Zim had willfully chosen to forget about, as they were all memories concerning Dib too, mostly during his late high school days when he had gone through his final dramatic growth spurt and had finally gotten his hideous acne under control. But the deep ache he could feel inside of himself, the strange dichotomy of burning like fire and gushing fluids, out of the forbidden place that he'd always beforehand associated only with pain, that was definitely, completely new, and unexpectedly enjoyed.  
Then Dib began to slowly slide his fingertips up the lekku, and Zim could feel his eyes begin to roll and his toes begin to curl. He could barely manage to breathe enough to keep himself from passing out from the overwhelming ecstasy, and the further down Dib went, the higher Zim got.  
When he finally reached the tip, where the slight kink at the end seemed to contain another bundle of extra nerves, Zim stopped breathing altogether for a moment as Dib began to rub the ends between his fingers, just like he had done to the base. Zim wasn't able to believe it could get any more intense than that, until the hybrid suddenly slipped his fingertips back down to the base again in a quick but steady motion.  
"AAHHH-DIB!" The alien howled, then quickly clamped his teeth down on the hybrid's neck to silence himself, while his hips rocked against Dib's thigh involuntarily. Dib gasped loudly in return from both the bruising pain in his neck and the almost-but-not-quite-orgasmic thrill he was experiencing everywhere else from feeling and hearing and seeing Zim in the throes of his very first release.  
Dib didn't mind how hard he was squeezing and rubbing against his thigh, but Zim didn't stop biting until it hurt too much for Dib to continue to ignore, so he finally nudged his shoulder against his mouth and mumbled, "Ow, Zim, let off..."  
Barely aware, Zim let his teeth scrape off of the deeply bruised skin and then settled his mouth against it with one last fading moan. The alien had never been as exhausted in his entire life as he was now, with the last ebb of his first orgasm pulsing through his body. His erratic breathing slowly began to calm into relieved sighs, and mindlessly Zim settled his tired head against Dib's shoulder as sleep began to demand itself from him.  
Dib felt the alien go slack against him, and knew that was what had happened. "Oh geez, Zim..." He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too. The little jerk was as selfish as ever, but Dib was actually okay with it just this once. The Irken had already been woozy from the alcohol, but having your very first sexual release would knock anyone out for the night. Besides, it might have been the first time Zim had ever experienced orgasm, but it was far from the first time he'd ever made Dib feel hopelessly frustrated by the end of the night. So he reluctantly resigned himself to it, taking his hands back from the now temporarily limp lekku and sliding them halfway down Zim's back, where they then rested.  
"Hope you don't hate me in the morning, because you won't get rid of me so easily now..." Dib whispered with a smirk as he fell asleep holding his best friend.  
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Dib and Zim both awoke rudely the next morning to the sound of someone banging on the hatch door of the ship. Groggy from sleep and the remaining alcohol in their system, they assumed it was someone from the party, or maybe Yoogli had forgotten something.  
Without a word yet to Dib, Zim climbed off the human's lap with a blush. He had not forgotten the memories of the night before, but he wasn't ready to speak of it just yet. Instead he headed to the hatch, and curious about who it was, Dib followed after him.  
"Ugh, what is it-" Zim began to demand, rubbing his aching head as the door rose. But he went dead silent in an instant, and soon Dib saw why.  
At least fifty unfamiliar Irkens were waiting outside of their ship, with laser guns aimed at their heads. Dib blinked in surprise, and then yawned as about twenty or so of those little red dots were pointed directly at his big head. "Well, this is a shitty way to start the day..."  
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(( A.N. BTW, I just wanted to note, I know it is totally nooooot right at all to have sex with someone when they're completely incapable of making informed decisions, lets get that clear. But I tried to get the point across that although he was drunk, it's something Zim really did want too, and Dib was trying his absolute best to make sure he wasn't taking advantage of him. And, well, considering how many IZ fics contain all-out, no-lines-blurred, actual RAPE, well, just go easy on me about this one - I really wanted the boys to have a good time before all the drama I'm about to put them through... XD Hope you enjoyed! ))


	12. Chapter 12

Trial and Exile  
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"GET OUT OF THE VEHICLE AND LAY DOWN ON THE GROUND!" The tallest Irken barked at them from the back, shielded by all the shorter soldiers in front. "DO IT NOW OR WE'LL SHOOT!"  
Dib looked over at Zim, and with a deep scowl, Zim reluctantly nodded. As tempting as it was to try something crazy, it was just wasn't worth turning their heads into swiss cheese. So Zim began walking down the ramp to the ground, where several Irkens immediately rushed at him, pushing and pinning him to the ground. Then they bound his arms behind him with a pair of cuffs that looked somewhat like centipedes, and went up to his forearms.  
"You too, ALIEN!" The leader barked at Dib, and despite the seriousness of the situation, Dib couldn't help but chuckle ironically. He was still in his Irken disguise, most of it anyways. His skin was still his preferred shade of dark forest green, but his ears had come un-taped and the single lekku and his pig-nose was of course too big a thing for these more discriminating Irkens not to notice.  
With one last irritated sigh, Dib followed suit and walked slowly down the ramp, where several Irkens also tackled him and bound his arms behind him with the centi-cuffs, as Dib was mentally dubbing them for now.  
But then to Dib's great annoyance, they also suddenly jammed a strange helmet on his head, which looked somewhat like an old-fashioned scuba diving helmet, but made out of rubber. There was a hole in front for him to see and breathe through, but it had a net shape of rubber tubes across it, so it wasn't very effective.  
He could hear the loud leader still barking orders though, "Confiscate the defective SIR unit and any other unknown technology or substances!"  
Then a few seconds later he heard GIR squealing with delight, "AWW, YA WANNA BE MY FRIEND? GIMME A HUG, FRIEND~!"  
A couple of Irkens started screaming and some crashes were heard, and then another crash and some more screaming. Then an Irken rushed by Dib, yelling at his superior, "SIR! There's some kind of weird floating ball-thing! It's not letting us get anywhere near it! It's got at least five laser guns set to stun and it's poking us with SHARP, POINTY THINGS-!" The soldier cried, beginning to get hysterical.  
The leader slapped him across the face and shoved him back at the ship, but Orby had come out of her own accord, holding GIR upside-down by the leg and rotating so that either the insane robot or one of the weapons was pointed at the advancing Irkens at all time.  
"WARNING - Orby will accompany you wherever you take Dib peaceably. But if you try to advance on Orby, or seperate Orby from Dib, Orby will set its lasers from stun to kill, and use them." The robotic sphere announced loudly and seriously.  
Finally the device halted in front of the leader, pointing GIR at him. "Orby will also set this GIR unit free to do what it wishes. You do not want that." It stated, very sure of that fact.  
GIR merely shrieked incomprehensibly with delight and tried in vain to grab at whatever was nearest to it, making all the Irkens take a step back from the horribly insane little thing.  
"Just - Just follow us!" The leader finally commanded in a fluster, shoving Dib with the butt of his gun towards in the direction he needed to go.  
They did as they were told and boarded the much larger ship that had landed nearby, then waited, on their knees, while the soldiers confiscated their ship and loaded it on board. Finally when the ship's engines started up again, the chief stood before his prisoners. "Well, you should know at least a few of the many reasons why you're here, so we won't even bother with that. Instead, you will tell us who else was present on this planet. We know there were supposed to be others, but they must have already left. Tell us who was here!"  
Dib looked over at Zim through the mask, and saw him look away from the leader stubbornly. "I have no idea what you're talking about. We landed on the planet for a rest, we were the only ones there."  
The leader growled loudly, looking very tempted to slap Zim, but without the nerve to really do it. "You LITTLE liar!" He then turned on Dib and leered down at him. "Listen up you, we can't kill Zim until he's been tried, but don't you test us! Who was here?!"  
Dib knew Zim was still loyal to Red, and that was his reasoning for withholding information at his own expense, but Dib wasn't about to betray his new friends either. So he smirked and also looked the other way. "Honestly, we didn't see anyone else. Yanno, Zim is so prone to mayhem, we might have killed them by accident without even realizing it."  
The leader looked disturbed and unsure, as if he were actually inclined to believe Dib's sarcastic claim. Then he turned his back on the pair in frustration. "Fine, whatever, it doesn't matter. When we get where we're going, you won't be a hassle to anyone anymore."  
They were stuck in that ship for at least three weeks, given barely enough to eat or drink, and they refused to take off the centi-cuffs or Dib's helmet, which made sleep almost impossible. Until finally one day, the ship's computer announced loudly, "We are arriving at the Anoi Galaxy, home of planet Irk."  
Dib had never been as desperate to be free of his stifling helmet as he was then, and though neither of them had spoken to anyone or even themselves during their time on board, Dib suddenly pleaded with anyone willing to listen, "Please - Let me see Irk. I swear I won't try to hurt anyone, I don't even have control of my electrokinesis. I just want to see the planet, please!"  
"Like we're gonna fall for that." Scoffed the leader, ignoring him.  
"PLEASE-" Dib went on, a little more hysterically.  
But then Zim snapped and shrieked over the human, "He's telling the truth you CREEBLE, so just take off the floopy-shnoopin' helmet and let him see Irk! Even if he was lying, are you really so stupid that you think he's going to blow up the ship that he's IN while we're in the middle of space with nowhere to go?!"  
The leader was stunned into silence for a moment, but then he sputtered back, "Y-Yeesh, what foul language! Fine! But you so much as make a spark, and your head comes off!"  
Dib waited eagerly until someone finally yanked the rubber helmet off of his head, and he gasped in the cool air that fell on his sweaty face and the damp, dirty hair that had grown in since he'd last shaved it.  
He took one final, calming breath, and then looked up out the front window of the ship, and found himself gasping again as he saw it.  
The Tallest's ship, the Massive, was stationed nearby the planet, but next to the planet itself, the 'Massive' looked like a fruit fly next to a mighty war-horse. The planet was truly massive, and it was the most beautiful thing Dib had seen since leaving his own, admittedly dinky, home-planet behind.  
Large planets were not uncommon at all, and planets that gave life were not really extremely rare either in the grand scheme of things, but planets as large as Irk giving life was definitely not something that happened often. Dib could see instantly why the Irkens were so proud of their huge home. The magnitude was truly god-like.  
Irk had two main continents in the midst of the swirling, salmon-pink to darker burgundy colored seas. The land-masses looked mostly green from afar, but there were also considerably large patches of magenta-red here and there, which were in such specific triangle shapes, Dib was sure they couldn't be natural.  
There was also a ring of debris floating around the planet, and just beyond it, four large moons could be seen orbiting the planet, although there were five more moons that Dib couldn't see on the other side. One of the moons was off-white like Earth's, but the others Dib could see were different colors. The biggest one was blush-pink, another one was robin's egg blue. The last looked like a chunk of blue-cheese, light yellow with marbled spots of greenish-blue. A good distance behind the planet and it's moons there was a bright red sun, which of course was impressively enormous enough itself to warm the gigantic planet.  
As they got closer to the planet's atmosphere, Dib got a better look at the ring around it, and realized that although it did contain some average space debris, asteroids and other such cosmic pebbles, there was also a great deal of junk floating in it, like fast food wrappers and old or broken appliance parts. Clearly Irkens were a lot more like humans than they cared to admit...  
When the finally reached the atmosphere, the ship became rocky for a few seconds, knocking Dib over. It wasn't nearly as violent as falling through a black hole, but with the centi-cuffs throwing him off-balance, he ended up smacking his head again, and when he did, the world went black for a few seconds.  
When he opened his eyes, he found a strange being standing before him that he hadn't seen before. It looked mostly like an Irken of average height, but it was naked, and had three lekku instead of one or two. The eyes were like the wings of a scarab beetle, reflecting almost every color of the rainbow in a metallic, gold-tinted sheen. It was impossible to tell what sex it was, if any. It had no penis, but none of the three lekku were curled like Dib noticed many females tended to.  
"Listen well, but do not speak. No one else but you can see or hear me." It commanded and informed the human hybrid, in a voice just as androgynous as it's body. "Just as your mother was to your planet, you are the first of your kind to enter Irk, and you come with a strange new force that has the power to change this planet forever. You are accepted here only because of the blood you share, but you will conduct yourself with respect to this planet while you are here. You will not be forced to make a sacrifice the way your planet so barbarically demanded of us, but you will adhere to my rules. I speak them now."  
Dib remembered to breath for the first time since seeing the strange being, who indeed went completely unnoticed by the other Irkens around it. The ethereal Irken continued, "You shall not kill any Irken, even in self-defense, because you are part of them and they are part of you. Kill them and you kill yourself. You shall kill any other noble creature only if it threatens you, and you will eat of what you kill. It will become part of you and you will become part of it. All will become stronger."  
It then got down on it's knees and looked Dib right in his eyes, baring it's teeth. The colorful eyes turned to pure black, and Dib felt just as terrified as he was when he had stared into the dark nothingness of the black hole. "Defy me and you will DIE, not even dishonored, but -forgotten-. Be above all bold, like a true Irken, and you may do well here..."  
With that final warning, the strange being simply disappeared as if it were never there.  
Dib struggled to get back to his knees, realizing that the ship was flying down towards one of the magenta-colored patches on the edge of one of the green land masses. It was shaped like a triangle, and as they got closer, Dib could see that it was something like a gigantic pet-box, enclosed at the top with a see-through lid with holes in it to allow fresh air in. Most of the buildings within were magenta or red in color, like the walls that surrounded them, accounting for the color of the patches from afar.  
At one corner of the enclosure, part of the lid could be lifted to allow smaller to medium-sized ships in, which was where the ship went. Once inside, it headed to the direct middle of the city, where a great, stately building stood, taller than all the rest. It docked on top of one of several towers, where Dib was one again forced to wear the awful rubber helmet.  
Then he could hear the leader yelling again, "You're getting off here, Zim! You will go peacefully or you'll be killed even quicker!"  
Though he could barely see him, Dib turned his head towards his dear friend, his heart pounding with overwhelming fear at the thought of harm coming to him. "Zim-!" He began, but the hectic alien quickly growled back at him to shut him up.  
"Don't be a complete FOOL, Dib!" He commanded harshly. "You just worry about yourself, you hear me?! Just focus on keeping -yourself- alive!"  
Then the Irken guards dragged him off of the ship, out of Dib's sight. The human stared after him until the ship started up again, and then he looked down at the floor with a heavy heart. He could tell by the look in Zim's eyes that he remembered that night. Something had changed between them because of it. And damn it, Dib pledged solemnly to himself, he wasn't just going to live, he was also going to get Zim back and find out what that was...  
But in the meantime, the ship returned to one of the outer edges of the walls, to a prison where Dib would call his new home sweet home.  
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By threat of electrified spears, Zim was forced into an elevator, which took him down the tower and to a larger room, and tapered into a wide hall. The hall eventually led them to an extremely large room at the middle of the estate, where dozenss of miniature Control Brain Drones crowded around the back edges.  
Tallest Purple stood alone on a raised platform in the middle of the room, surrounded by dozens of soldiers. He crossed his arms haughtily across the chest, sure of himself as long as there were others in front of him to shield him. "Well, well, well, Zim..."  
"Tallest Purple." Zim returned in a condescending voice, daring to use his name to his face, which caused one of his guards to shock him for his insolence.  
After watching Zim scream and twitch for a moment, Purple went on, "As you know, Zim, no Irken may be put to death without a fair trial. So, here we are."  
But then suddenly, Red was there too, as a hologram. It beamed itself from the ceiling right down next to Purple, and Red glared nonchalantly as he sipped on a soda from a bendy straw. "Hey there, Purp. Making decisions, without my approval, behind my back, again?" He asked, calm but clearly annoyed.  
Purple glared deeply back at his fellow leader. "Don't you dare treat me like some SMEET, Red! And don't call me 'Purp'!"  
Red didn't look the least bit impressed with Purple's nerve, and ignored his request outright. "Oh, I don't think you're a smeet, Purp. I think you're even dumber than a smeet. I mean, seriously - Are you actually THIS -stupid-?"  
The soldiers in front of Purple took a step back from Red's menacing form, even if it was just a hologram, while Purple sputtered furiously. "Just what do you-?!"  
Red cut him off before he started to spit with indignity. "I'm just saying, did you COMPLETELY forget what happened the last time we took Zim before the existence evaluator? Do you really want a repeat of what happened last time, when the Control Brain let him fly the Massive? Who knows, this time it might actually go crazy enough to declare Zim a Tallest!"  
Purpled scowled, "That's just ridiculous!" But he didn't look as sure of himself as he did a moment ago. "Well then - Just what do you suggest, Red? We can't just let him go free after defying his banishment for a SECOND time!"  
"Yeah, duh, but we can't kill him, either. So, lock him up. Seemed like a simple solution to me." Red replied, feigning deep boredom. "This is kinda why I worry about you making decisions on your own Purp, when you can't even take care of something this simple without potentially plunging the planet into darkness and disarray..."  
"Shut UP, Red! I can take care of this just FINE!" The purple-eyed leader shouted back petulantly. Then he growled back at the soldiers. "Take him away and lock him up! Make sure he never sees the light of day again!"  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Dib was locked up in his own separate cell instead of in the general population, and they'd removed his centi-cuffs, which he was grateful for at least. But it was dark and cold and uncomfortable like any prison cell, and the rubber helmet that they demanded he keep on was really driving him crazy. But the guards wouldn't even respond to any of his requests, and if he bothered them too much they threatened to beat him up.  
After the first four hours, a new set of guards came to relieve the other's of duty. He heard the Irkens talking to each other as they left, "Did you hear? Tallest Red bailed Zim out -again-. That lucky punk should have died decades ago! I guess now they're throwing him in his own cell on the West side of the prison."  
"Hey," The other guard added, "At least we got to throw that crazy busted SIR unit in with him. That thing was creeping me out..."  
Dib's heart lightened up hearing that. At least Zim was alive. They still had hope. And Dib wasn't about to give that up.  
It had only been a little over a day when he finally got his first visitor, though it seemed much longer to Dib with how boring and uncomfortable it was. Through the helmet and the bars, it was hard to make out the face of the visitor, but he was abnormally tall. When Dib got to his feet and approached, he realized the visitor was almost as tall as he was, which was definitely not normal.  
"So, you're that alien that Zim has been flying around with, huh?" He spoke, and Dib finally recognized the voice, as well as the fiery eyes.  
"Red? Tallest Red?" He amended quickly as the leader's eyes narrowed, noting the single inch of height the hybrid had over him.  
"Yeah, that's me. And you're Dib, right?" The leader went on, "I just wanted to get a look at you myself before they execute you. Your Irken disguise is terrible." He noted, truthful but blunt.  
Dib narrowed his eyes back at him. "It's not -just- a disguise. Whether or not anyone here will accept it, I'm half Irken!" He proclaimed proudly.  
Red blinked in surprise hearing that, then rolled his eyes and looked away, feigning disinterest once more. "Oh really? Interesting. I guess that's where you learned the Outer Irken you've been speaking." Dib had been careful to stick or Outer so no one had to account for teaching it to him. "So then, from whom did your Irken half supposedly come from?"  
"My mother's name was Gazlene."  
Red immediately choked out a gasp, and then pressed his enraged face against the bars. Dib took a step back at the frightful sight, but Red reached through the bars and grabbed the front of his shirt, dragging him close. "WHAT did you just say-?!"  
Dib steeled his nerve and repeated calmly. "Her name. Was. Gazlene. I take it you knew her?"  
Red stared at him for a long moment, and then slowly let him go. He had to be telling the truth, how else would he know that name? And if he was telling the truth about her, then he had to be telling the truth about the past tense that he was speaking of her in. If that was the case, if she really was his mother and she really was dead, then the debt he owed her could never be repaid. Unless...  
"Listen, you. Listen real good. There's not much I can do for you. There's only one thing I can try to save your life, but making it work is up to you. They're going to give you a pretend mock trial tomorrow, mostly just for show. When you appear before Tallest Purple and I, you are to argue that you are an Irken Hybrid and deserving of life. I'll do what I can to convince them not to kill you, but your chances are pretty slim - The ultimate decision of what to do with you can only be determined by the Control Brain."  
Dib nodded slowly in understanding. "I understand... Thank you."  
"Don't thank me." Red replied crossly as he headed back out of the cell. "You're not out of the hot water yet..."  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
The next day Dib was once again cuffed and led through several hallways and up a couple elevators, then loaded onto a ship and taken to the building where they'd dropped Zim off the day before. Dib was then led into the same room where Zim had been held for judgement, though this time both Purple and Red were waiting for him on the platform.  
Purple began right away, trying to rush through it. "Well, short and sweet, you're charged with being a unregistered non-Irken on planet Irk and attacking Irkens on Irken-controlled territory. For these crimes you will hereby be execu-"  
"WAIT!" Dib exclaimed, wrenching from the Irken that was holding onto his bound arms. "You can't do this! I'm an Irken Hybrid, I have rights!"  
Purple paused, and then chuckled derisively. "Oh what is this... Red, tell me you didn't put him up to this nonsense?"  
Red lied smoothly, "I did no such thing. Anyways, there's an easy way to tell if he's lying or not, just test his DNA."  
One of the miniature CB-Drones flew over to Dib, jabbing him in the arm with a needle. Orby, who had been floating silently by Dib's side all the while, suddenly glowed red and possessively and menacingly advanced on the drone, which quickly retreated as soon as it got the DNA it was seeking.  
The drone analyzed the DNA for a few seconds, and then announced, "This sample is positive for Irken DNA."  
"Hah! See? I told you!" Dib proclaimed proudly.  
"Big deal!" Purple returned petulantly. "There's more to being Irken than just being lucky enough to have some of our superior DNA! Control Brain, you can't let this freak just walk in here and demand we call him a proper Hybrid!"  
Red countered calmly, "I believe it would be a waste to just kill him, though. He possesses some impressive powers and fighting skills, he could potentially aid our military."  
Suddenly, Orby spoke up as well, glowing electric yellow. "Dib is a fierce fighter and could be of great use, as Red has stated. But Purple is also right - It would be nothing short of offensive to proclaim him a proper Hybrid just because he has Irken DNA. He is almost completely ignorant of what it means to be a true Irken. He doesn't know how the species came to be or why they deserve to feel so superior. Orby suggests that, instead of executing him, you leave him in the Badlands. If he can traverse the terrain of the untamed planet Irk, and find his way back into the wall, then he may consider his Irken DNA to be as superior as a true Irken Hybrid's."  
Purple snickered at first, and then all-out guffawed. "Wasn't that thing supposed to be protecting you? I actually think it would be kinder to just execute him! But whatever, sure, let the planet kill him instead!"  
Red glared at Purple, then nodded grimly. "I find this to be an acceptable compromise."  
The unseen Control Brain projected it's robotic voice throughout the room. "The Tallests have come to an agreement, and I accept it. The Dib creature shall be banished to the Badlands. If he can make his way back, he'll have proved himself worthy of his claim of Irken superiority."  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Zim had been doing his best to entertain GIR, or be entertained by him, but his thoughts and feelings were far elsewhere. Further than even the dark, cold cell he was currently confined in. They were still millions of miles away, back on that unnamed green planet, still back in his own ship, with Dib.  
It had been, with no doubt in his mind, the single greatest thing he'd ever felt in his entire life. And he didn't regret letting Dib do what he'd done for a single second, but he was also experiencing a rather large amount of guilt over it, too. There was of course the most obvious reason, that it was against the law and considered morally and ethically wrong by his peers. But even more than that, he was ashamed that he hadn't returned the gesture to Dib, especially since chances were good that Dib would be killed and he would rot in this cell the rest of his life, regretting that.  
His depressing thoughts were suddenly interrupted as he heard the door leading to his cell being opened. Then, he heard the voice of Tallest Purple, saying something to the guard. "Are you -serious-? Wow, that is so nasty..." His voice sounded amused as well as disgusted.  
He then approached Zim's cell. Zim didn't bother getting up, saluting, or even looking at him. Purple went on without it. "You've gotta be kidding, Zim. You were obviously always defective, but this is really something else. The guards told me what the prison scanner found on your pants. The... Fluids." He forced the word out with a gag. "And since you were with that human the whole time, one can only surmise..."  
Zim cheeks burned, but he refused to say anything yet. So Purple continued to goad him, "Then again, I guess I kinda get why someone like you would be desperate enough to... Fulfill your sick desires with an -alien-. Your kind are all so perverted..."  
He was trying awfully hard to make Zim feel even more ashamed than Zim had already felt, but Zim had already burned himself out on that tiring emotion. Instead he thought about everything Dib had done for him over all the years - Making him feel important when these jerks had wanted him to think he was worthless, looking out for him and standing by his side when he was truly the most alone he'd ever been, and then giving him a night worth remembering for the rest of a life that would no doubt be sad and boring...  
No, he didn't feel bad at all. He could only bring himself to feel thankful. He could only remember Dib with the deepest of gratitude for the experiences they'd shared. Even now, trapped in this cell, he felt somehow as if Dib was still with him, still... Damn, it was the strangest and most confusing feeling he'd ever had, but it felt as if -somehow-, Dib was still... Protecting him? It didn't make any sense, but Zim couldn't shake the feeling.  
He finally looked over at Purple, with a small and tired smirk. "I almost feel sorry for you..."  
"WHAT did you say, you little SHRIMP?!" Purple immediatedly snarled back. "How DARE you! RRR-You're making me wish I had just killed that ugly pig-thing myself! But it doesn't matter - I KNOW he's going to die, there's NO doubt about that!" He had a good laugh at the look of worry that immediately passed over Zim's features. "That stupid ball-thing that floats around him, it must be defective too! It said we ought to throw him out in the Badlands, and see if he can prove himself a real Irken by coming back! HAH! Hey, what do you think will eat him first, one of the giant snakes or the giant lizards? HAHAHA!"  
With a deep, loud growl, Zim suddenly got up pressed his face against the bars, snarling savagely at Purple, who gasped and took two involuntary steps back. "I do NOT -CARE- what you THINK anymore! I don't CARE what you WANT from me! You're NOTHING to me!"  
Purple almost felt unnerved, but he covered it up with arrogance. "What - I'm supposed to take that seriously from a NOTHING like YOU? Enjoy the rest of your boring, pathetic life, Zim. And don't worry, it won't be that long - You'll eventually die of starvation, because I'll see to it that the guards skip your meals."  
He laughed his way out of the cell, leaving Zim behind in blissful silence again. He was glad Purple was gone, but he was depressed by the news he was given. But then GIR suddenly spoke up in his silly voice, "Aww, don't worry~ Dib won't give up until he gets him his alien!"  
Zim smirked a little, not looking at the robot at first. "You think so, huh... Wait." His eyes abruptly went as wide as they could go as he realized that sounded a bit too unlike his servant's usual nonsense, and he forced himself to glance over, shaking a little as he mumbled, "G-Gaz...?"  
The glow in GIR's eyes was purple. It smiled and winked at Zim, and then with a blink, it's eyes returned to it's usual blue once more. "NOPE, NO PIGGIES HERE, MASTER~! WHEEEEE-HOOOOO!"  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Purple got on his communicator shortly after he left Zim's cell, calling the pilot of the ship that was currently driving Dib outside of the walls that protected the cushy Irken settlements from the wild world beyond. "Listen up, change of plans." He instructed the driver. "Take that Dib-thing out another two thousand miles further than where you were instructed to leave him. Do it, and you'll see a fat bonus in your account tomorrow..."  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
"Got it." The driver answered, hanging up before turning back to the ship's controls and slightly increasing the speed.  
Dib had no way of knowing how long the ride was supposed to be, so he didn't notice the extra hour and a half it took to fly to the new location he was being taken. When they arrived, the pilot set the controls to hover, and he and the six other Irkens that had come on this job crowded around the human.  
They hoisted him to his feet, and to his relief, he could feel them take off the centi-cuffs. "Please, can I take off this stupid rubber helmet too? I promise I don't even know how to use my electric powers, I won't-"  
"Hey, sure thing, Dib." One of the Irkens interrupted him. He looked suspiciously towards the voice, and his blood went cold seeing the familiar purple eyes.  
Tak grabbed the helmet and roughly pulled it off of him, grinning. She had a score to settle with this one too... "After all, your electric powers won't be of any use where you're going! EEEAHAHA-!" She shriek-cackled, using the heavy rubber helmet to shove Dib out of the windy open door behind him.  
Dib yelled in shock as he felt himself began to fall, fast. The world was moving quickly and his body kept turning in the air, but he recognized the salmon-pink color he'd seen days ago as they landed, and the foamy white surf of the tides.  
He took a great gasp of air and held it, plugging his nose with one hand and shielding the back of his head with the other. Seconds later, he plummeted into the ocean waters with a body-bruising splash.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


	13. Chapter 13

Survival and Security  
(( A.N. Please keep in mind peeps, I am not a rocket scientist. XD;; Also I have thalassophobia (fear of the ocean) so this chapter was pretty tough on me... ))

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Hitting the water was like a full-bodied slap, leaving stinging bruises all over his back, arms and legs. At least he hadn't belly-flopped though, that probably would have caused irreparable damage to his inner organs. Still, he had no time to be grateful when the force and height of the fall had taken him dozens of feet below the surface of the sea.  
The pink sands and salts that colored the waters obstructed his view, but he could at least see the sun shining down from the surface, leading him to safety. Holding onto the breath he'd taken for dear life, he fought against the tides, which shoved him off-course several times, until he finally broke through just in the nick of time. He gasped loudly and gratefully at the air, but then a wave crashed down on his head, dunking him under once more.  
Desperate for more air, he kicked his way back to the surface. Thankfully the waters had calmed down for a moment, allowing him to take several gulps of air, and cough out the water that had gotten into his nose and lungs.  
The tides in these parts weren't as turbulent as they could get elsewhere, but it wasn't a tranquil brook, either. Likewise, the waters weren't frigid, in fact they were almost lukewarm, but chances are they wouldn't stay that way once night came, and he had no idea how many hours of sunlight he had left.  
Not to mention, there was no doubt countless other creatures swimming around underneath his constantly kicking feet... As if to agree with him, a huge, red whale suddenly leaped out of and crashed back down into the ocean a few hundred feet away, sending another powerful wave chasing after the tiny human.  
The tide pushed him back another few hundred feet, and when he emerged this time, he looked around him in circles as he gasped for air, trying to find a land-mass to swim towards. He couldn't see any at first, but thankfully, Orby finally found him first instead.  
"Dib!" It called out to him, causing him to look up from where the voice was coming from. The orb was hovering about ten to fifteen feet above the waters, avoiding them like any sensible mechanical being would. "I found you!"  
"Orby!" Dib called back, glad to not be completely alone again. "Where do I go to find dry land?!" He fought to stay above the waves to ask it. It was hard enough to breathe, let alone speak.  
One of Orby's robotic arms extended out to point the way, but it called to him quickly, his mother's worry coming through the mechanical tone. "Dib, swim quickly, don't stop! You only have 22 hours of daylight left before night falls and the waters become too cold for you to survive! There is only a 5% chance you can make it!"  
Dib didn't listen anymore, and he didn't care about the odds. He shot off through the current, swimming as fast and as tirelessly as his body would possibly allow him to, only breaking for gasps of air. More adrenaline was coursing through his veins than he'd ever felt in his life. There was an infinity of things to be afraid of, but his goal was clear and he was more determined than ever.  
He kept going, and going, and gasping every sweet lungful of air he could get, arm over arm, kicking without end, until every muscle ached harder than they ever had, and he STILL kept on going. Then he began to see green trees in the far distance, and he felt sure that he could reach them. But the closer to the shore he got, the stronger the tides were, and they kept dragging him back every time he made distance against it.  
Seventeen hours in, his body was beginning to fail him. The water was no longer lukewarm, the sun was barely more than four hours away from being about to disappear behind a moon, the blue cheese-looking one. He kept on struggling to keep going, but he was exhausted, truly at the end of his limits.  
And he had not forgotten once the fear he'd had since emerging in the oceans that threatened to literally swallow him, the creatures that he was sure would do so. There were plenty of hungry things in many parts of the Irken ocean, including a particularly vicious, yet also curious group that had been following Dib since he first fell into their territory.  
When the last of Dib's strength finally left him, and he began to sink like the dead-tired stone he felt like, these curious little tyrants that ruled the 'shallows' of this coastline Dib had been tossed into began to investigate.  
Four of the littler ones began to nip at and tug his feet, but one of the bigger ones quickly swapped them away with his tail, an then another joined him in carrying the creature to the surface. The bigger ones had a sixth sense about this creature - They had dealt with deadly electric eels before and they got that kind of vibe off of him, like a ticking time-bomb. They just wanted him out of their waters entirely.  
Dib felt his arms being tugged and then hitting the surface again. He didn't think about how, he just coughed and wheezed as much air as his aching lungs could get. As soon as he could think straight he looked at his temporary saviors, the creatures holding him up and allowing him to breath.  
They looked very similar to Irkens from what he could see of them, but they had gills running from their cheeks to where their ears would be, if they had them, and their lekku were naturally limp like Dib's had once been. But their skin was green, and their eyes red. In every other way but their nakedness and inclination towards the sea, they looked just like regular Irkens.  
He was a little scared of them at first, but he couldn't see why they would have saved him from drowning if they were going to kill him, and they were holding him up wordlessly, allowing him to breathe and regain his strength. As soon as they were sure he'd gotten enough air, they suddenly took off with him, dragging him with impressive speed through the waters.  
He wasn't prepared for it at first, and accidentally swallowed some water, but they gave him another chance to breathe a few seconds later, and this time he got the idea. He took a great breath and held it, and then then dragged him off through the water again for another minute or so, before allowing him another chance to breathe.  
Within an hour, the strong swimmers had brought Dib as close to the shore as they would go. They were close enough that Dib could feel his feet touch the bottom and the water was only up to his neck, and that was when they finally let go of him.  
Bewildered beyond belief, but also eternally grateful, Dib looked back at the beings, trying to express how thankful he was. But as soon as Dib was able to make it on his own, the two oceanic dwellers had gone back the way they came, leaving Dib only one last glimpse of their slender, shimmering green tails as they disappeared under the waters.  
For the moment, he let his curiosity leave with them. He used the last of his strength to wade against the tides, walking along the bottom over small fish and crabs. Paranoid that he might step on something more dangerous, he quickened his pace until, at long last, his feet fell on the last stretch of white, foamy surf still licking at his soaked, squishy boots.  
The pink, red and grey sands went on for at least half a mile before they reached the the trees that Dib had been in the distance. Dib only got about half that far before falling to his knees, and then onto his face. He used the absolute last of his strength to roll onto his back, so that he wouldn't be gasping in sand, and stayed like that for a while.  
Orby caught up to him a few minutes after that. It hovered down next to him, glowing a soft lavender. "You did amazing, Dib. You've earned yourself this rest. But I'm afraid I can only let you do so for a moment. We have to find a way to get you dry and keep you warm throughout the night. It will get very cold soon. Wet clothes are worse than no clothes at all."  
"Yeah, okay, just give me a minute..." Dib answered with deep fatigue, sucking in a few more gasps of air before turning his attention back to the robot. "What WERE those things, back there in the ocean - Mermaids...?"  
"I know you're deprived of oxygen, but don't be ridiculous, Dib." The machine chided him. "They were Irkens."  
"Irkens?" Dib repeated in confusion, "But-?"  
"They are our oldest living ancestors, Dib. On a tiny planet like the one you're from, species go extinct much more easily due to lack of room and resources when new species evolve. But on a planet like Irk, there is more than enough room to go around for a long time. There are species still alive today that were here billions, possibly even trillions of years ago. Even the industrious Neo-Irkens, for all their boasts for intergalactic conquest, have not fully conquered their own planet, and I doubt they ever will..."  
"But... Why did they save me...?" Dib continued to ask, sitting up and staring out at the sea. He was just getting enough oxygen to notice that the 'device' had been speaking more like a person lately, as if her true soul was coming through. Some distant and unknown part of him wondered, did the spirit within feel more alive back on her home world?  
Orby whirred for a moment, just as confused as he was. "...Maybe they're like you, bound by honor not to kill any other Irken. Maybe they thought you were bold, making it as far as you did, and decided to help you the rest of the way. Maybe they were just bored. Who knows, and who cares. You're alive, for now. But in order for it to stay that way, you need to help me build a fire before it gets too dark. We don't have much daylight left. Get up, lets go."  
Reluctantly, Dib forced himself to get back on his tired, aching legs, and walk through the heavy sands until he reached the edge of the dense, green jungle. Orby then flew up to the tops of the trees, tall and spidery-looking things that branched out in all directions and were covered in vines, and used a circular saw in one of it's compartments to cut down some of the drier branches, which Dib collected after they fell and arranged in a pile about a dozen feet away from the jungle. It was nearly night once they'd collected a sizable pile. Orby then used a laser to light the wood, which was a brownish-red in color and let off a similarly colored smoke. It also smelled like a strange mix of cinnamon and mud.  
Dib sat behind the fire with his back facing the sea, as Orby had suggested he do. He saw her reasoning for it soon after the sun disappeared behind the moon, and darkness fell. Shivering and trying to get warm and dry next to the fire, Dib could see just over the blaze that various creatures had come to the edge of the jungle, big yellow and red eyes staring at him from just beyond the veil of the trees and vines.  
Curious though they were, they were afraid of the fire and repelled by it's smoke. But Dib didn't dare sleep, he wouldn't take the chance that one of them would get bold and come to investigate, no matter how dead tired he was. Plus the fire warmed him pleasantly, but his back stayed cold enough to keep him alert.  
About twelve hours later, the cheese-moon began to move away from the sun, letting it's light shine down on that section of the planet again. The nocturnal creatures moved back into the jungle, and Dib sighed a breath of deep relief. He had barely any wood left to throw into the pile.  
But he did have one branch left that he'd been saving for last, because it was tall and solid and would make for a good walking stick. It also had a pointed end, and if the worst came to pass, he might be able to use it as a weapon too. But for now, he used it to spear the largest of the nearby pink crabs that were scuttling out of the ocean, after making sure with Orby that it was completely edible. Then he took the creature back to the fire, and used the last of it's dying embers to cook the crab on the end of his stick.  
He'd never eaten so ravenously in his entire life, savagely tearing the scorched and still-hot shell apart with his bare hands and nails, and scooping out the sweet, pinkish-white meat inside. He didn't let a single morsel escape, cracking the claws open with his teeth to get the very last bits hidden inside. He might have even swallowed a few pieces of the shell by accident.  
After filling his stomach, he was so exhausted he could no longer fight off the need for sleep anymore. The fire had dried his clothes and now the sun was warming the beach once again. Dib fell over onto the sand and snored deeply for a full eight hours, twice as long as he usually slept.  
He would have slept even longer, but Orby shook him awake. "Dib, you need to go now. The sun will soon hit midday, and it will be too hot for you to survive without shade. You need to go into the jungle so the trees can block some of it's rays."  
Dib reluctantly picked himself up off the ground, shaking out some of the sand from his hair and coughing up some that he'd accidentally swallowed while asleep. After taking a moment to wake up fully, he wondered aloud to the device, "So, what do you think the chances are that I can make it back to the wall alive, be able to save Zim and get out of here in time to get back to Earth before the chip you put in me kills me?"  
"Approximately 1.8%... But you know, after everything I've seen you do, I'm gonna give you the benefit of a doubt. Lets bump that up to a solid 2%." The device of course couldn't smile, but it glowed a soft, maternal, baby-blue.  
Dib smirked and rolled his eyes. Just his usual luck. "I guess that must be better than the chances I had staying in prison."  
"Correct." Orby replied, "And if you can make it to the wall, which should take you at least eight months on foot provided nothing else kills you along the way, it will allow you the advantage of a sneak-attack. They'll never even dream that you could survive what you already have... You're very strong, Dib. Don't forget it. You have the blood of the fiercest warriors in this universe coursing through your veins. They made it, and so can you."  
Dib smiled sincerely, and after a short pause, Orby added, "Also, I'm glad it's in your top priorities to save Zim. I suppose I should tell you now - You cannot leave Irk without him."  
The human raised an eyebrow at that, "Well... I wasn't planning to, but why?"  
Orby whirred for a few moments, thinking of how to say it. "Zim is... He's one of a kind. There is no other quite like him, though there are many who are not like the other, Control Brain-enslaved Neo-Irkens, as well. Those Irkens you met at the gathering - They were all specifically chosen by Red because of this. They are all like Gazlene once was in life. Though they are connected to a PAK, it is defective. They are not controlled by it, and they are aware of that fact. As long as they are careful not to physically get caught, the Control Brain cannot trace their thoughts and actions. This makes them the perfect agents to carry out illegal activities."  
"Then, what about Zim?" Dib pressed on. "How is he different?"  
Orby's glow went to bright orange, as if the thoughts swirling inside it's circuits excited it greatly. "You have to understand something about that particular Irken, Dib... He's not so much a true Irken, as he is an Irken-shaped force of nature. A tidal wave, a cyclone, an erupting volcano - In the guise of a cute little bug-eyed alien. Zim doesn't even realize it, but he is the container for the rarest and most destructive form of tajik on all of Irk. Most other Irkens don't believe in tajik just as he doesn't, but they can feel in instinctively every time he's around, and it scares them..."  
Dib stared almost breathlessly, "What can he do...?"  
"...Gaz is terribly powerful in her own right, but she absolutely needs Zim to fulfill my plans. You see, he is not just free from the Control Brain. From what I've seen and heard from him, he doesn't even KNOW he's free from the Control Brain. Like a child, he has sought it's approval all his life, except when he had no other choice but to defy it. But he is pure anathema to the Control Brain. When close enough to the Core-Brain, his presence is like a powerful virus, which renders the Control Brain almost completely useless. Unlike every other Irken on this planet, the Control Brain and it's mechanical minions cannot kill Zim - They can't even go near him."  
"So Zim is basically our top secret weapon against the Control Brain?" Dib guessed.  
"He is our only weapon. And Gaz is the only one who can harness and control his power, make it work for us instead of against us. Both of them are absolutely necessary."  
The sun was starting to beat down on Dib harshly. There was nothing more to ponder now. He had a job to do, and he had a time limit to do it in. With purpose and boldness beating in his chest, he set off into the dense, shady jungles of the wild, untamed Irk.  
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Irkens didn't have to eat nearly as much or as often as humans did, but after a couple of weeks passed without any nutrients, Zim was unable to continue ignoring his spooch's gnawing aches. He'd been doing a lot of pacing before, but his legs had become too weak to continue. He hated having to sit on the cold, hard floor for too long, though.  
The guards changed shifts every four to five hours. Irkens could work much longer, but it looked like no one wanted to watch him for longer than that at a time. Each time they changed shifts, they were forced to check in on the room where Zim's cell was. He didn't heckle them, and they didn't speak to him in return.  
When the doors opened and the guards peered in, Zim looked back at the light temporarily shining through enviously, just like he did every time. But this time, he caught sight of a strange shimmer passing behind the guard, thought the doorway. He raised a brow, but did not comment until the door had closed again.  
Then he spoke up, in the quietest voice he was capable of, "A reflective camouflage blanket. Renders the wearer virtually invisible. That's some pretty advanced technology, I'm guessing you had to steal one from a military laboratory. Who are you, and why would you go through the trouble to see me?"  
At first the hidden stranger didn't reply. They advanced toward his cell, and Zim stared at them coldly until they finally whispered back, in a feminine voice, "Red heard about what Purple was trying to do to you, but he couldn't come himself. He can't be seen supporting you any more than he already has. So he sent me instead. Here."  
The Irken tossed in a handful of nutrient supplement pills from beneath the blanket, and for just a split second when she did so, Zim could peer inside. She was rather skinny, and tall, about five foot ten. And though it was pretty dark, her eyes glowed with a golden-brown sheen.  
Zim immediately swallowed one of the pills, and the brown eyed female went on, "You'll need to ration them. I can only come once a week, and I can't bring you anything more substantial. I can't take the chance that they'll smell it."  
"Thanks." Zim replied, gathering the rest of the pills and hiding them in a corner. "But you still haven't said who you are. I don't know many people who would be willing to help me."  
The female was quiet for a moment. "My name is Pepi... And, well, to be honest..." She reluctantly spoke up at last, "I actually didn't come just for you. I came because Red told me about that alien that came with you. He told me that... He's Gazlene's offspring, is that true?"  
Zim nodded just once, "So how do you know Gazlene?"  
"...I only met her a couple of times before, but... Gazlene and I, we shared the same paternal donor."  
"Sororal units, huh..." Zim mused.  
"Yes..." The female affirmed. "And I heard that she's dead now, and that they've thrown her smeet into the badlands... So I just wanted to know, what was he like?"  
Zim growled under his breath. "Was? Unless you know for sure he's dead, then don't you dare talk about him as if he is! Because the first thing you should know about Dib is that he's strong, resilient, and he does NOT give up easily!"  
"Shhh, okay, I'm sorry." She quickly placated him. "I didn't mean to make it sound like he was, it's just... Listen. I'm on Red's side, but I work for Purple. I'm one of his personal massage servants. He doesn't allow me to speak directly to him, but he sometimes chatters while I work on him. Two days ago, he was joking about how he had his soldiers throw Dib out into the Eastern Ocean..."  
Zim's resolve wavered for just a second, but he replied stubbornly in the next, "So what? Trust me, Dib is harder to kill than that." He refused to believe anything else.  
The other Irken nodded slowly. "He sounds like a spirited soldier. I hope you're right."  
Zim didn't want to show the least bit of doubt until the worst had definitely come to pass, but deep down he worried terribly about the human. If he did manage to swim out of the ocean, that only crossed a few things off the huge checklist of things that would possibly, probably, kill him. Plus, the coast was thousands of miles away. Even if he could make it back to the wall, could he do it in time? And then what? How was the tiny human going to find his way into the enormous, impenetrable wall once he got there? Those walls were built to keep out behemoths, after all, and so far they had done their jobs very well.  
Pepi waited with him in silence until the guards switched shifts again, and then she slipped out the same way she had come. As annoying as her timid behavior and her presumptions were, Zim was still a little sorry to see her go. An annoying companion was better than no companion at all. And GIR had been strangely quiet since she came in.  
...Which of course was not normal. Zim glanced over at his companion in the opposite corner, his squee still jumping a beat as he saw what he had been expecting - The purple glowing eyes.  
Predictably, but still chillingly, Gaz's voice emerged from their shared robotic 'puppet', "So, I've got an Irken auntie, huh... I -guess- that's kinda cool..."  
Zim sighed deeply, exaggerating his suffering. "Whyyy must you torment me, Gaz-beast..."  
Gaz growled, "Torment YOU? You little drama queen! I tormented Dib WAY more than I ever tormented you, I actually even HELPED you more than I did Dib, too! I saved your butt from getting yourself killed even more than Dib, and that is saying something, you know that! And then I had to make sure you guys didn't kill each other on TOP of that!"  
"Will you be QUIET? The guards will hear you-"  
"Shut up, stupid, I'm communicating with you telepathically right now." Gaz had GIR flick the side of his head and made a mockingly stupid expression. "Duh!"  
Zim sighed again, still convinced he was getting the short end of whatever weird deal the multiverses had against him. He missed the GIR he had known and loved over the years, what he considered to be the 'real' GIR, and mentioned as much in a quiet, sullen voice.  
"Oh come on, Zim..." Gaz now sighed, feigning his dramatics. "Do you seriously still not get it? Sorry but not sorry, bug-boy, but it's time to grow up now. Besides the empty shell of a broken SIR unit that your Tallest gave you to play with, your little toy robot never even really existed. Seriously, do you know what I found inside of it when I first opened it up to tinker with it? A couple of gumballs and some paper clips!"  
"You're lying!" Zim insisted in a fierce and slightly panicked whisper. He didn't want to believe what she was saying at all. "GIR was speaking on it's own long before I ever even reached Earth!"  
Gaz disregarded him and continued, though her voice was now just a touch more sympathetic. "That was you, Zim... Before you landed on Earth, before I actually put some real wiring in that thing, your own lonely subconscious was powering GIR to speak to you and entertain you, with nothing but tajik. I mean, think about it Zim - All the stupid things GIR did that made no sense? That was you thinking up weird, random things to entertain yourself. Well, that, or sometimes it was me, making it do something stupid on purpose to foil your plans and keep you from destroying either Dib or the entire planet. And hell, sometimes I just did stuff coz I was bored, too. Like, I took GIR out to clubs all the time..."  
Zim tried and failed a few times to reply, but only one word stuck. "Why...?"  
"Shouldn't it be obvious..." She sighed again, less understanding and more irritable now. "I always kinda liked you, okay? Not the same way Dib likes you." She added quickly as Zim's eyes went wide and nervous. "I feel for you, sorta the same way I feel for Dib... You were the first member of the Irken species I ever met, so, I guess I thought of you as another brother, or something... Maybe more like a weird, distant cousin..." She amended.  
Zim stared sadly at the robotic shell that Gaz was speaking from. Even if was just a broken toy like she said, he still had an emotional attachment to it, and was reluctant to accept that his puppet had never truly been alive after all.  
Gaz understood, and she approached him slowly. "Look Zim... I know why you love this little thing. It was all you had when you were most alone in the world..."  
Zim stared wordlessly as Gaz settled GIR's small body next to him, and leaned the metal head against his arm. "But, you're not alone anymore... Dib is coming for you, he won't stop until you're together again. You said it yourself - He's strong, and resilient. He won't give up."  
Zim looked down at his lap miserably. He wanted to believe what she was telling him now, but he stood to lose so much if she was wrong... "The odds are severely against him, there are creatures on this planet that-"  
She cut him off, "Zim, shut up about that. We already know the odds aren't good. But what good will it do not to believe in him? You can't do anything else for him, you might as well do that."  
Zim was silent for a moment, until he finally admitted softly, "I really want to see him again..." He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. "I -will- see him again. If anyone can do this, it's Dib..."  
"That's the spirit, space boy." Gaz smiled a small smile up at him. "But hey, I gotta go now. I'll check in on you from time to time to make sure you don't go crazy, but I'm trying to save the Earth too, so, I'm kinda busy. Take care of yourself."  
"I will... Thank you Ga-" He began to reply, but then the purple glow in the robot's eyes returned to it's usual cyan mid-sentence.  
"...GIR." He amended, staring into those big, blue eyes.  
"Hi Master!" It replied happily, but much more calmly than usual. Then it declared, "I'm tired! I'ma take a nap for a while, okay?"  
Zim slowly nodded, "Sure, GIR. Go ahead..."  
"YAY! I love you, master!" It exclaimed, and then proceeded to do just as it said it would.  
Normally GIR would pretend to sleep by faking the motions of it, closing his eyes and snoring. But this time, GIR's eyes lost all light and went dark grey, and the metal body slouched over onto the floor with a loud clang. Zim silently stared at it for several long moments.  
Slowly, he reached down and picked the unmoving robot up, gathering it against his chest. His eyes began to gather liquid. He didn't bother trying to keep it from overflowing. "...I love you too, GIR..."  
He really did. GIR had been like a security blanket to a lonely child far from home, and he would always be grateful for the companionship it provided when he needed it. But Zim was no longer a naive little child. He didn't need to believe in his fantasies anymore. He was completely disillusioned now, and the real world was waiting for him.  
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	14. Chapter 14

In the Wild  
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The further Dib got from the beach, the denser the forests became. The trees nearest to the ocean weren't especially tall, but a few miles in and the foliage started to get gargantuan. Evergreen trees with reddish bark were so tall that they blotted out almost all of the sun, and the trunks were so big around that an entire diesel truck could fit inside with room left over.  
Some of these trees had huge hollows in them where various insects and small reptiles roosted. Dib took shelter in them at night, and when he was approached by predators - Huge, lizard-like creatures that somewhat resembled Komodo Dragons, only about four to five times as big, with pale pink and mauve colored scales and yellow eyes. If they saw Dib they would chase after him, and they were quite fast. Thankfully, the spry human hybrid was just a little bit faster.  
Surprisingly though, the best way to avoid them was to seek out even bigger predators. Every now and again enormous saurian beasts, which looked like slate blue Spinosauri with golden-orange eyes and steaming breath, would stomp through the jungles. They were nearly as tall as the gargantuan evergreen trees, so big in fact that they didn't even seem to notice Dib at all when he ran by, he was like an ant that wasn't even worth bothering with. The pinkish lizards, however, were just the right size for them to snack on.  
At nightfall Dib would climb into the hollows, and try to rest as peacefully as he could with the creatures inside creeping, crawling and slithering over him. The first few nights they really made him uncomfortable, but Orby had assured him that they were more scared of him than he was of them, and as long as he didn't bother them, they wouldn't bother him.  
It turned out to be true enough, though Dib woke up nibbled on by the bugs most mornings, at least the snakes kept their fangs to themselves as long as he gave them enough distance, which was easy enough to do in the enormous trees. Dib even grew to treasure the company of the iguana-sized lizards who would burrow against his warm body at night, and shield him from the cold in return. There were some mornings Dib woke up completely covered in lizards of all kinds of shapes, sizes and colors, pink and green ones being the most common.  
They also kept away most of the bugs by eating them, and Orby encouraged Dib to do so as well. He was reluctant at first, but once he got hungry enough, it became easy and even enjoyable to snatch up and munch on the squirming, squishy, crunchy delights.  
The most endearing thing about the littler lizards, though, was that some of them even purred like cats when they were content or at rest. It was too cute and the vibration felt nice against his skin on cold, still nights. But it only made him miss his favorite alien even more.  
In a month's time, Dib eventually passed through the densest parts of the forest, and came across a wide expanse of flowered plains with only a very few trees peppered here and there. A great green mountain stood in the far distance beyond the plain.  
No predators inhabited the plain, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. Although the magenta-colored flowers that grew there were beautiful to look at, they smelled like absolute shit, with just a hint of vanilla. The touch of sweetness actually made it worse. Dib had to hold his shirt over his mouth and nose as he made his way through, as the stench was so bad it made his eyes water. He couldn't help but gag occasionally too.  
Orby led him on through the flowers and up to the direct middle of the mountain. At first Dib assumed he would have to climb it, and wondered how he would accomplish such a task without any equipment. But when they got close enough to the mountain to see it up close, Dib realized with some surprise that there was actually a rather large tunnel that went right through the mountain, the entrance of which was hidden by vines.  
Moving the vines aside with his hand, Dib peered suspiciously into the pitch blackness beyond. "I don't suppose you have a flashlight function, do you Orby?"  
"Yes, but it would be unwise to use it. There are predators in this cave that will be attracted to the light." It replied.  
"Then wouldn't it be safer to go around the mountain?"  
"Negative. Going around will take us further from our destination, and there will be predators there too. It's best just to take the quickest route regardless of predators, as you'll be hard-pressed to find anywhere on Irk that doesn't have them."  
Dib sighed, "Well, okay, but... How am I supposed to see where I'm going? What if I run right into a predator or fall down a hole?"  
"Orby also has a night-vision function, however, it unfortunately cannot be removed for portable use. You'll have to hold one of my claws and follow me while I lead you through."  
Dib lamented the fact that he'd brought his own night vision goggles with him, but they were back on the Dual Ship, so nothing could be done about that. He reached up and grasped Orby's hook-like hand, and it began to slowly lead him past the curtain of vines and into the blinding cave.  
It smelled a lot better inside, though not exactly aromatic either. Like moss and mold mostly, but there were undertones of feces still present, most likely from the creatures that lived within. It was still better than the overwhelming stench of the flowers.  
Holding securely onto Orby's hand, Dib followed it through. The ground was slippery with moss and moisture, and Orby floated slowly so that Dib wouldn't trip on them. Dib couldn't help but wonder if the device could feel his fleshy hand in any way. He hoped so. He liked to pretend for just a moment that it was his mother holding his hand, the way his father sometimes had when he was very young.  
It was unnerving though, for the human boy to be encased in total darkness, with who knows what around them. He could hear more than a few somethings letting out deep, loud, growl-like snores now and again, the stink from their breath crossing the short distance between them.  
Dib tried to ignore them and continued to walk silently through the darkness, careful to walk slowly and feel with his feet before taking a full step. After about two or three hours of this careful treading, he began to see the smallest slivers of light peeking through the vines of the exit, and in his excitement he couldn't help but quicken his pace.  
He felt with his foot and found the path clear, so he took another step. But then to his shock, he suddenly tripped over something about the size and shape of a large root. Orby immediately tugged on the back of his jacket and yelled at him, "RUN FOR IT!"  
Dib obeyed her without need of an explanation. He scrambled to his feet and broke out running at the top of his speed. Behind him an explosion apparently went off, propelling him forward several feet from the force of the blast. He was knocked onto his chest and face, but he got up without a thought to how much it had hurt, and kept on running without looking back.  
An ear-splitting roar echoed through the cave and thunderous footsteps began lumbering after him. Dib kept running until he passed through the vines and into the sunlight, but he didn't stop there. A good thing too, as the creature followed right after him. But it was disoriented by the light at first, which gave Dib the chance to find a tree to hide behind.  
The human was just too damn curious for his own good, though. He just had to peek around to get a look at the flame-spitting beast. It was like a wingless dragon, huge but not massive enough to ignore what it assumed would be easy prey. Its body was slightly snake-like, with six sets of chicken-feet and some feathery-looking white fur down the back. It also had white scales, blood-red eyes with black slits, and a single ivory horn jutting from the forehead. Those piercing red eyes spotted Dib just as Dib was looking back at it, and it immediately began to rush after him again.  
Dib was fast, but this creature was even faster. It cornered him against another tree, baring its jagged, yellowed teeth at him. Then it opened its mouth and began to hack, as if it were about to cough up a loogie, but instead, Dib could see sparks going off in the back of its throat.  
He knew it was time to do or die, or else he would end up as barbeque. His sharp stick had broken some time ago, so the only weapon left was his own body. He concentrated harder than he ever had in his entire life, remembering that white-hot fury from when Zim had been threatened. Zim's life was still in danger, Dib had to get him out of there. He wasn't about to let some chicken-footed wannabe dragon or any other Irken monster get in his way!  
The dragon pulled back it's head, about to spit flame in Dib's face. But just before he could, Dib felt his lekku stiffen, his brain throb, and his newly grown hair burned away as a surge of electricity shot from his lekku like a lightning rod, right into the dragon's face.  
It gasped in literal shock as the bolts hit its face and coursed through its body, paralyzing it. The gasp it had accidentally taken made it choke on its own fireball and swallow it, burning its way through the throat and stomach. It fell over onto its side, wheezing for air several times until it just stopped. Between the electrocution and the internal damage, it definitely had to be dead... Right?  
Dib was still a little wary to go over and poke it to make sure, but not even two seconds later, he realized very abruptly that he wouldn't have to. A sea of green bodies, hundreds, possibly even thousands of them, leaped out of the treetops and descended upon the newly-dead dragon, like an army of ants swarming a carcass.  
They bit and stabbed the beast with crude knives made of bones and stones, cutting out and feasting on the flesh raw. They didn't notice Dib at first, but the human couldn't help but stare at them. They were Irkens, at least, they strongly resembled them. The vast majority of them were short, and Dib could only see red-eyes among them. But there was a small group of about a dozen or so which were feasting at the neck, they were taller than the rest. Not as tall as the Tallest by far, but about Zim's height, give or take. They were also mostly either naked or sparsely dressed in leather loincloths and vests.  
Eventually they ate their fill and took notice of Dib, who still hadn't left. He remembered what the strange entity had told him when he arrived on Irk, and he was pretty sure a dragon counted as 'noble', so he couldn't leave without having a taste himself. Besides that he was just overwhelmingly curious, both about what dragon tasted like (After all, when else would he get another chance to try dragon meat?) and about the newcomers, who looked pretty savage now with the blood of the beast running down their chins.  
The tallest Irkens in the group got together, talking to each other in whispers while the smaller ones perched on top of the body, staring outright at him. Finally, four of the tallest advanced upon Dib cautiously, holding spears out defensively.  
Dib held up his hands, trying to convey that he meant no harm to them. It was pretty scary for a moment - He couldn't kill them, so if they decided to attack him, he was pretty much a sitting duck. But when they saw his motion, they stopped, and whispered to each other again for a moment. One of them then retreated back to the carcass, grabbed inside the dragon's singed mouth, and cut off the end of the serpentine tongue.  
He carried the charred chunk of tongue back to Dib, and held it out for him. Dib raised an eyebrow at the offering, but Orby quickly nudged him from behind and advised, "I would eat that if I were you, Dib. You don't want to offend the Natives. This is a very rare occasion, for them to treat you as an equal and offer to share food with you. Getting on their good side is your best chance for survival right now."  
Dib nodded and reached for the meat, noticing for a moment that his mostly green hands had some patches of his pale peach skin showing through. The paint was resistant, but after over a month of exposure and sweat and scuffs, it was beginning to slowly chip away. He tried to ignore it, though he was sure the Irkens hadn't, and took the chunk of flesh.  
It was burned on the outside, but it was still mostly raw on the inside. Besides that it was pretty hard to forget that it was a tongue. But Dib was hungry enough to get over it, and he forced himself to take a big bite out of the flesh. It was tough and chewy and bloody, but it didn't taste all that bad. Dib had caught and cooked some snakes along the way, and it mostly tasted like snake meat, but with just a hint of beefy flavor to it. It also turned out to be kind of spicy, but Dib didn't mind the slight burn to his tongue. He was actually quite fond of spicy foods, so he kept on eating it.  
In their foreign language, the taller aliens spoke among themselves, "Whoa, he's actually eating it! It doesn't burn his tongue?"  
"What a weird creature. It looks like he's part Irken, but he's gotta be something else too..."  
"He seems civil to Irkens, though. Plus he's tall and fierce, and he took down a dragon without even touching it!"  
Dib listened to them as they spoke, noting a few words he'd heard before. It wasn't either the Inner or Outer Irken he'd learned from Yoogli and Zim, but it was quite similar. So, experimentally, he slowly raised a hand in greeting and mumbled, "Vashla...?"  
The Irkens looked at him very strangely at that. One of them finally piped up to the others, "Why did he say he stinks...?"  
"Well, I guess he kinda does, a little? Maybe he's just self-conscious about it and thought we should know...?"  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
All was black. Zim was unconscious. But then his body began to shake, and his eyes shot open to find the familiar but still terrifying purple glow staring back at him. "Hey Zim. There's some kind of weird, cockroach-rat thing eating your vitamins." Gaz informed him in an almost-interested tone.  
"EH!?" Zim immediately scrambled up and stalked over to the Roach-rat, and kicked it away. Then he proceeded to stomp on it a few times out of anger. Once it was dead, he cocked his head at it, and then with a shrug, he picked it up and began to gnaw on it.  
Gaz snorted in amusement. "Man that's gross."  
Zim shrugged again, glancing down at the carcass. "Nah, what's -really- gross is that this thing was pregnant."  
She shook the robot's head. "You're right, that IS really gross. So, is this what you do for fun around here?"  
"Basically." Zim replied neutrally. "Did you come here just to be a bitch-monster about it?"  
"Basically." Gaz answered evenly. "But I can leave if you really don't want me here-"  
"NO!" Zim immediately amended in a bit of a panic. "Don't go." He added a bit more calmly. "I'm bored... To be honest I kinda wish you hadn't told me about GIR so soon. It'd be nice to have him around just for the entertainment."  
"Ugh. You dummy. You were controlling him the whole time! You can do it again if you want to."  
"I can?" Zim's eyes went wide for a second, but then he looked away in disappointment. "Right, when -you're- not controlling him. It wouldn't be the same anymore now that I know it's just me talking to myself..."  
"It's EXACTLY the same, because it was you talking to yourself all along!" Gaz argued back, getting annoyed. "It's really not as big a deal as you're making it out to be, Zim. So you had an imaginary friend when you were young. A lot of kids from a lot of different species do that. It was real to you because it was a part of you, and it still is, just the same way that the squee that beats in your chest cavity is the same squee that beat within you when you were a smeet, even though your body is completely different than it was then. Only this time, it's your state of mind that changed."  
Zim stopped eating and blinked for a moment. "That's actually pretty deep. Corny, but deep..."  
"It's the truth, nothing more, nothing less." Gaz responded almost robotically.  
Zim sighed. "So then, what SHOULD I do to pass the time in here? Since you're only going to grace me with your presence for a short while." He added sarcastically.  
Gaz pondered over the question seriously for a moment. "...You ever try masturbating?"  
She of course chose to say that just as Zim was taking another bite, and she watched in more than a bit of amusement as he choked on it for a minute. "Oh you FILTHY-!"  
"Yeah, it can be a little messy." Gaz went on impartially. "But I'm just saying, it's a fun way to kill the time. I do it sometimes, and Dib used to do it ALL the time..."  
Zim's cheeks went red and he looked away from her. "Actually, I think I WOULD like you to leave now." Her words were uncomfortable enough, but now they were bringing up the memories of the noises Dib had made that one night when he'd touched his lekku, and that was making Zim twice as uncomfortable.  
Gaz chuckled darkly. "Sorry, not sorry. Destroying your innocence it just too much fun, Zim. But don't worry, I'll make it up to you next time, okay?"  
"...That actually makes me worry -more-."  
"I know. Heheheheh... HAHAHA-" Gaz's terrifying laugh suddenly cut off, and GIR's body fell to the ground.  
Zim stared at the robot for a moment, concentrating on it. After a moment or two, the grey eyes flickered blue, and then it got up and saluted at him. "HIYA MASTER! Do you need a huuuug~?"  
Zim gave it a half-smile and shook his head. "No, it's okay GIR. I was just checking on you. You can go back to sleep mode."  
"OKIE-DOKIE!" It waved for a moment, then stopped mid-wave and fell over again.  
Zim went back to eating his pregnant roach-rat before the innards got cold.  
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The Native Irkens were nomadic, Dib soon realized. It wasn't safe to stay in any one place on Irk for long, but they did hold some semblance of control over certain territories, and guarded them fiercely. There were some large lizards and snakes that would sometimes try to prey on them, but there was strength in numbers, and for every Irken they lost, they always took one back from the enemies.  
Dib went on his way, but the Irkens followed after him. It was hard to say why - They might not have trusted him at first, but after a few days they began trading words with Dib, and in just over a month Dib had their language mastered too.  
The hybrid noticed that they seemed to have a similar height-based hierarchy as the Neo-Irkens, but it wasn't nearly as strict or ridiculous, in fact it was pretty fair - The taller Native-Irkens did not subjugate their shorter brethren, in fact they were quite fond and doting on them, and protected them ferociously against attack. The shorter ones protected them in turn and pampered them as thanks for their service.  
Once Dib learned the language, he realized that it was like a form of elder respect. Not every short Irken was young, but Irkens never got that tall without being given enough time to grow. The taller Irkens protected the shorter ones so they might have a chance to grow as tall as them someday and protect the clan too.  
Dib grew even more fond of them than the little lizards he'd bonded with before, as they had many similarities. The Native-Irkens slept longer than Neo-Irkens, but they took turns while they slept to protect each other. One group would sleep in a pile to keep each other warm, while another group would stand in a circle around them and stand guard. If a predator approached, they'd alert the others to fight. It didn't happen very often though - Irkens were even scarier when they were woken up early from their well-deserved sleep.  
The Natives of course noticed when more and more of his green skin began to rub away, but they didn't judge him too harshly because of it. They seemed to be much less prejudiced than their 'advanced' cousins in general, and were only glad to keep Dib around for extra protection. Something was almost always attacking them, and with so many little Zim-like cuties running around, it came naturally to Dib to want to protect them too. It also gave him lots of opportunities to practice his electrokinetic abilities, and he found it to be easier and easier to summon each time he did it, until it eventually became second-nature.  
Once Dib was able to converse with them with ease, the eldest of the taller Natives, a kindly matriarch named Daae, asked of him, "Where did you come from?"  
He'd grown to trust them, so Dib told them the truth. "I come from another planet, far away from Irk. My mother was one of the Irkens who lived in the Wall. She came to my planet and gave birth to me. Unfortunately she died soon after. Then another Irken came to my planet, and we eventually became friends. I came here with my Irken friend, but the Neo-Irkens put him in jail and banished me here. Now I'm just trying to find my way back to him, and get us out of here."  
A smaller Irken, a clingy, affectionate male named Meem, asked him slyly, "Are you suuure you're just friends with this Irken? That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through..."  
"Hush, Meem! You can really be so rude." His serious sister Kana scolded him, but then she gently nudged Dib's elbow. "But, are you just friends...?"  
Dib blushed a little. He'd caught Kana looking at him in a peculiar way sometimes, and now he had a good idea why. Best to nip that in the bud, for both their sake. "Well, to be honest... I actually think I love him." He confessed.  
Kana looked a little disappointed, but she got over it quickly - Dib was sure she would, she was much stronger than her size suggested. A taller Irken male named Hyak then gave him a hearty slap on the back, and then slung his arm around his beloved only mate, a shorter female named Pat. "Aha! I knew it! That's wonderful! The feeling of your squee pounding when you're around the Irken you love - That's the best thing in the world!"  
Daae nodded and reached over to put her hand on her own mate's shoulder. She'd once had two mates, but unfortunately one of them had died the year before. "Yes, it is. And being away from the Irkens you love, that's the worst thing in the world. Dib - We support you. We wouldn't normally approach the Wall, though we have always welcomed any Irken who was banished from there, as rare as that may be. But we will follow you there and do what we can to help you, just as you have done all you can to help us."  
Dib was truly touched. The Natives were nomadic, but they didn't have to follow him and help him out the way they had. They had accepted him as he was without question, protected him and warned him about all potential hazards they faced together. The only time that they'd even said anything unkind to him was when he'd eaten a spicy red chili pepper that they had insisted was inedible. Orby said otherwise, so he gave it a try, which the Irkens apparently found to be nauseating and painful to watch.  
"Are you guys really sure you want to do that? It's dangerous out there, I don't want anyone to get hurt or killed because of me..."  
Kana rolled her eyes. "We'll all have to die someday, Dib. Better to live a short, interesting life than a long, boring one."  
Meem jumped around him and shook him by the shoulders, "Yeah, yeah! Everybody wants to go an adventure like this at least once in their lives!"  
Dib smiled warmly back at them. He couldn't argue with that - After all, that was how he'd gotten just where he was in the first place.  
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	15. Chapter 15

Conspiracy  
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Dib and the taller Natives had been peeling some spiky, pink Irken plums for their lunch, when the scream of a smeet echoed through the trees, making them drop their fruit in shock. The Natives normally kept together for protection, but a group of females had just given birth to a new generation, and it was extremely difficult, if not impossible, to keep the hyperactive little green-beans under complete control.  
The clan sprung into action at once, clawing their way into the trees and sprinting from one to the next until they found smeet in distress, and the thing that was distressing it. The smeet had climbed into a hollow and clawed its way up inside of it a few feet, but the beast that was chasing it had seen it and followed it, and now had it's head snouting around inside the tree, trying to find the niblet.  
The Natives leaped on top of the beast and swarmed around it. Dib didn't even have to pitch in at all this time, they were more savage than ever when protecting their smeet. They collective tore the beast apart so fast that Dib couldn't be sure what it had even looked like before they got a hold of it.  
He whistled, impressed with the blood-thirst, until he heard a pitifully sad, raspy mewl from behind him. He turned around to see a much smaller version of the dragon that was currently being consumed alive by the piranha-like Irkens. Smaller, but still just as tall and formidable as the human himself, so Dib at first held out a spear he'd been gifted by the tribe defensively.  
But he soon realized that the dragon, which was indeed green in color, four-legged, and wingless, was not looking at him at all. It was looking at its mother, which was now quite dead, with pained red eyes. The look in those eyes and the similarity in color to the Irkens made Dib sympathize with it, especially when it passed him and he noticed that its legs were covered in something slimy and sticky, and there was a bit of white shell sticking to the back left foot.  
'Tek et smeet...' Dib thought in his new Native tongue. Just a baby.  
Carefully, he stepped in front of the little dragon to obscure his view of the gruesome scene. "Don't look, little guy. You don't want to see this..." He insisted, covering its eyes with his arms. The mother hadn't yet had the time to teach it to be ferocious, so it didn't fight against Dib's embrace. It was probably why the huge beast had been so quick to attack the tiny Irken smeet - He had probably gotten too close to the nest.  
The baby lowered its head and continued to whine, until the Natives had finished with the carcass of the mother and turned on it. Daae approached them first, "Step away now, Dib. We need to kill that one too."  
Dib was silent at first, and he didn't step away. "...You don't NEED to..."  
Daae raised a brow in confusion, then let out an irritated sigh. "Dib, what on Irk are you saying? Of course we need to! That thing isn't going to get any smaller you know!"  
"He's just a smeet! A meebee!" Newborn, and he pointed to the piece of shell to prove it. "He's a clean slate. We could tame him!"  
"TAME a DRAGON?" Daae, and several other Natives, gasped in shock, awe and utter disbelief.  
Kana came forward, wiping the blood off her naked chest. "Dib, no offense, but I really don't think such a thing is possible..."  
"I bet that's what they said to the first person who suggested you tame a Jurq." He countered fairly.  
The Natives did not keep very many pets or domesticated animals, but one of their staples was the eggs of the Jurq, a bird that was typically as tall as the taller Irkens, and looked like a cross between an ostrich and a green parrot, with a crest of pink feathers on top of its head and a pink, hooked beak. One of their huge eggs could feed several Irkens, and they had been taught to crack nuts open with their beaks for them too. It was awfully useful to keep a small herd around, but there were times when the birds got testy, and Dib could definitely see why they called them 'Jurqs'.  
He could see he had scored a point, and the dragon hatchling still had yet to harm the human in any way. In fact, it was now burrowing its head against Dib's chest, while the human stroked it's smooth, scaly neck. Then he heard a gurgle coming from the baby's stomach, so he reached into a pouch by his side, pulled out a strip of dried snake jerky and offered it to the dragon-smeet.  
It immediately snatched it up and ate it, and the Irkens tensed up watched the exchange, sure that the creature would now take a bite out of the hand that fed it. But instead, the baby merely licked the remaining salt off of Dib's hand, and mewled for more.  
"Aw, come on guys." Dib insisted, "He seems pretty nice to me..."  
Daae rolled her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Fine, we'll see how this works out. But YOU are going to clean up any messes it makes!"  
The matriarch usually wouldn't indulge such nonsense, but Dib managed to amuse her more than he frustrated her. He was such a strange being. From how tall he was, one would think he was quite old. But really, he acted like such a smeet sometimes!  
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Zim didn't exactly take Gaz's crude suggestion to heart, but he did have a lot of time to think. At first he had tried not to think about Dib - It was too painful to consider what might have happened to him. But after a while, he had thought about nearly everything else, so Dib was the only thing left to think of. Zim thought about the fights they'd had, the pranks they'd pulled, and had himself a good chuckle now and again.  
And of course, he couldn't help but think about that one particular night more than a few times as well. It made him feel tingly in his spooch, and although he never touched himself, he indulged in his thoughts and the feelings they produced. One day, he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the guards switching shifts, until Pepi had to throw a vitamin at his head to get his attention.  
"Hey, wake up!" She whispered, throwing another at him until he growled and looked up at her. She tossed the rest of them in and then sat down next to the cell. "Sorry, just making sure you weren't dead. You kinda smell like you are..." She explained in an irritated tone.  
Zim popped one of the vitamins into his mouth and washed it down with the dirty water from the one faucet he had in his cell, which he had to use for both drinking and cleaning. It wasn't very effective, but Pepi was usually nice enough not to mention it. Apparently she was short on manners today. "What's your problem?" Zim asked her, just as grouchy.  
The taller female sighed. "...Sorry. I'm just not feeling too good today..."  
"Well, why?" Zim pressed. They usually didn't speak to each other very much. Zim might ask her a few random questions just to fill up the time, but they had to keep quiet so as not to alert the guards, so most of the time he just enjoyed her presence in silence.  
Pepi paused, not sure if she should tell him at first. But the information weighed on her, and she felt like she had to tell someone, or else she would surely explode. "Tallest Red... He gave me another job..." She told him very quietly. "I can't say what it is exactly, so don't bother asking. I just... I'm really not sure I can do it. I MUST do it, though. I'm the only one who can now. Shala was supposed to do it, but Purple must have suspected her, because he had her banished. Red was so mad about that..."  
"Why don't you think you can do it? A direct order from the Tallest is an honor, you should be eager to accomplish it." Zim pointed out like a patriot.  
"I am..." Pepi replied quite seriously, and Zim stared as a dark look came over her features. "I'm just not sure if I can pull it off... Shala has always been a fighter. But I am a healer, and always have been. It's not in my nature to... To..."  
Zim suddenly had an idea of what she was talking about now, and he quickly shushed her. "Stop. Don't say any more. I understand..." He sighed and scratched his head. Another roach-rat had bitten him in his sleep and now there was an itchy bump there. "It's not going to be easy, but you can do it... Just, do it quick. Don't let yourself think about it. Do it and get it over with."  
She nodded at his advice. If anyone would know what she was going through now, it would be Zim...  
They spent the rest of their time together in silence after that, except for once extra question that came to Zim shortly before she had to leave. "Hey, by the way, I've always wondered - Does it hurt when you females curl your lekku like that?"  
"Of course it hurts. It hurts like hell."  
"Well, then, why do you do it?"  
She gave him a steely look and then rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Typical male..." She grumbled. Zim didn't bother to correct her.  
The guards switched shifts shortly thereafter, and Pepi ducked out. However, this time, someone had taken notice of her. The last guard didn't say anything about it at first, and let her leave without apprehending her, but she had heard everything.  
Tak grinned and almost even skipped down the hall in her excitement.  
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One normally had to request an audience with the Tallest if you were not directly summoned by them, but Tak was determined to get to Purple first before anyone else found out what that stupid, brown-eyed blabbermouth was up to. So she shirked her duties and stalked Purple outside of his usual frequented spaces until she finally caught him coming out of his favorite donut shop.  
"My Tallest!" She immediately ran up to him and saluted. "Please forgive the intrusion, but I have something very important to discuss with you!"  
Purple looked down on her derisively and didn't even bother swallowing his mouthful of donut before interrupting her, spitting crumbs all over her face. "Oh geez, you're not asking for a promotion AGAIN, are you Tak - You know, you're lucky I even gave you a job back here guarding Zim and doing janitor work, in MY private quarters! The honor! Even though YOU failed the last mission I gave you, to capture Zim back on planet Tegma!"  
She ignored the crumbs on her face, though she raised her hands to avoid more, and to try and pacify the taller Irken. "I know my Tallest, but please-"  
He cut her off again, "No, Tak, I actually think you DON'T know! You don't seem to GET how very SMALL you still are! You're just barely tall enough to even qualify to work for me - Heck I think even ZIM is a little bit taller than you! That's pretty sad! You just don't get anywhere in life unless you're TALL, Tak! And you are so very SHORT! That's just how it is! You need to accept it and stop bothering me, or else I might just banish you back to planet Dirt! Understand?!" He actually reached down and poked her on the forehead with his half-eaten donut.  
She stared at him, her face unreadable yet silently seething like a dragon gathering flame in its gullet underneath. But then she suddenly went calm, doused her rage, stepped back and bowed very low to her 'leader'. There was true and honest respect in that bow, too. Purple didn't know it, but he had just changed both of their lives forever.  
"You are absolutely right, my Tallest~..." She replied in the sweetest tone her throat could manage to cough up.  
Purple merely grunted back at her before walking away, followed by his group of guards, Irkens and miniature Control Brains. None of which apparently noticed when one of the mini-CBs strayed behind and approached Tak.  
It spoke to her in a voice that sounded very much like her own, only slightly deeper and older. "Follow us into this alley, Irken Tak. We would like to discuss something with you..."  
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The first few weeks the dragon-smeet, which the clan nicknamed Dag, would follow Dib everywhere and wouldn't let any of the other Irkens touch him. It was understandable, considering what it had witnessed, but it wouldn't even accept food from anyone but the human. Eventually Dib encouraged him to let a few of the braver Natives touch him, and it finally got to the point where a few Irkens, particularly Daae, Hyak and Kana, were able to feed him too. As soon as they allowed themselves to bond with the creature, it bonded back, until it apparently considered itself part of the tribe too.  
After a while it even began to act somewhat like a watchdog for them. If it sensed a predator nearby, it would hiss and growl in the general direction, giving the clan precious extra time to get away. By all means, they would have done just fine without Dag, but it didn't hurt at all to have him around.  
At long last, exactly eight months and a day after Dib had first been thrown into the sea, he began to see the great magenta walls of the Neo-Irken Capitol in the distance. Predators were much scarcer around it, and Dag refused to go near it. After being in the wild open for so long, it wasn't hard for Dib to figure out why. Irkens were much more self-conscious about polluting than Earthlings, but they did their fair share, and Dib could smell it. The Natives were reluctant to follow for the same reason.  
But Dib assured them that they didn't need to go any further. He had gotten as far as he had with their help, but he wouldn't allow them to endanger the health of their smeets going any further. Daae acknowledged his decision and reluctantly agreed with it, and after the tribe sent him off with their blessings, he and Orby went on alone into the miasma of Neo-Irken 'society'.  
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Tak flew her new Spittle Runner, which she'd thankfully been gifted -before- the failed fiasco with Zim on Tegma, outside of the Capitol and into the Badlands. On a few rare occasions, she would sometimes visit the untamed lands where her ancestors resided, to take in the scenery and think in (relative) peace.  
But peace was not hers to be had tonight. She was deep in thought over the proposition that the Control Brain had brought to her. On one hand, she was being offered everything she never even knew she wanted, more than she ever could have dreamed of. On the other hand, she had to -help- ZIM to achieve it... It was actually a pretty tough choice.  
She landed the ship on the ground in the midst of a circlet of trees, and then sighed into her hands with her elbows on the dash as she stared out at the scenery. The lavender moon was out that night. It was her favorite Irken moon, and always had a strangely calming effect on her.  
That was, until, a sight from the corner of her eyes shocked her out of her tranquility. "No way. NO WAY..." She snarled to herself, staring out the ship's window at the all-too-familiar creature that was standing just about a hundred feet away from her. It was the human. He was... ALIVE?!  
At first her mind couldn't even process it, she literally could not believe her eyes. Though she'd never before dared to get out of the ship when on one of her outings before, she was too overwhelmingly curious to resist this time.  
Dib had been staring up at the wall, thinking up all kinds of crazy plans on how to get in, when Tak appeared in the corner of his vision as well. His senses honed, he immediately snapped his head towards her, and they shared a mutual glare. Orby pointed a laser at her for good measure, but she ignored the robot.  
"How come you're not inside the wall?" Dib demanded.  
"How come you're not DEAD?" Tak countered.  
Dib continued to glare, but then he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Good question. Sheer dumb luck would be my guess."  
Dumb luck. It was the only explanation that made sense to Tak, but it still didn't, and she resented him for it. At the same time though, she couldn't help but also be impressed with the human hybrid, though she would of course never admit it. She had scoffed at his claims of sharing Irken DNA when she'd first heard about it, but how else could the stink-beast have possibly survived the wild Irken territory? She also recalled how he and his sister-beast had so easily resisted her mind-control abilities as children - There was no other way they could have done so, she was sure.  
It might also explain why she secretly had such a strange affinity to the children back then, as much as she was able to anyways. Admittedly it was mostly to piss Zim off, but she remembered listening to the boy's strange tales with some amusement. And his sister... Tak could tell she was powerful, and she respected power.  
He seemed to be remembering the same things, and he mentioned, "Uh... Sorry about hitting you back then, on Tegma... I just really didn't want you or the others hurting Zim..."  
She glared intensely at him. "Any Irken warrior worth a lick could take one of your flimsy punches, human. I'm FAR more enraged at what you did to my SHIP."  
"Oh. Oh, yeah. Sorry about that too. But, it looks like you got a new one?" He pointed at the vessel behind her. "Looks pretty cool!"  
She didn't look back. "THAT is the only reason I didn't rip my beautiful craft right off of Zim's stupid, ugly clunker myself! That, and..." She narrowed her eyes and stared at him hard, considering.  
"And...?" Dib repeated, raising a brow at her.  
She crossed her arms, and temporarily changed the subject. "...I suppose you're now trying to find a way to get Zim out of prison and get him out of here?" Dib nodded mutely, and Tak went on, "Well... What if I said I could actually help you out with that?"  
"I'd be REALLY suspicious and think you were trying to trick me." Dib replied right away. "Why would -you- WANT to do that?"  
"BECAUSE." Tak hissed back at him. "I HATE you two so much, I want you FAR away from me and my planet! And lets just say, DIB, that I know the perfect time for you two to make a getaway attempt, and that I could help you get to Zim's cell and back to your mutant ship undetected? What would you say to THAT?"  
"...What do YOU want, Tak. That's the bottom line here. I believe you - I just don't believe you're willing to do it without a motive of your own. So what do you want?"  
Her spider-legs shot out of her PAK and she advanced on the human, her eyes level with his in seconds. "...You will take Zim, and you will take him FAR AWAY from here. That is ALL I want, and as long as you do that, I'll never concern myself with you OR Zim ever again. But, if you two ever return to this planet again, I will NOT rest until you are DEAD."  
Dib wasn't so sure if she was capable of that threat, but he knew that she truly meant it. He slowly nodded and held out a hand to shake upon the agreement, but she slapped it away. "Keep yourself alive until the Blue Moon, and then I'll come and get you. Do NOT foul this up."  
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	16. Chapter 16

Escape  
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Dib stayed just outside of the miasma until the night before the Blue Moon, then he traveled back in, hoping that Tak hadn't decided to go back on her word. He waited anxiously for a few hours until her ship finally came in view, and then he waved her down.  
She made him spray himself with a disinfectant before getting on the ship, and even then she snarled as he passed through the threshold, as if the sanctity of the ship was compromised by just him being there.  
"Alright human, listen up." She began right away, not letting him comment on anything, just getting right to the point. Dib was just fine with that - Just because they were working together didn't make them friends, after all. "The disguises Zim made for you were disgustingly pathetic and I can't even conceive how they fooled anyone. -I- will NOT be putting my reputation, not to mention my status, on the line helping you without a PROPER disguise."  
She led him to her disguise-creator, which Dib could tell was a much more advanced piece of machinery than Zim's. This one was much less clunky by far. It only had to scan Dib and then it produced a small disc, which Tak clipped inside of the collar of Dib's new Irken uniform. The disc then created a hologram illusion to cover Dib's obvious human ears and nose. His eyes she'd made almost her exact shade of purple.  
She informed him afterward, "You'll need to crouch down a couple of inches the entire time you walk inside the city, and I'm going to disguise your legs as Vortian to cover up the strange walk, and why someone your height is doing such menial work. If anyone asks, you are an Irken-Vortian Hybrid named Dim. I've temporarily hacked you into the system with this identity." She didn't mention that doing such a thing would be insanely difficult if not impossible to do without help from the Control Brain itself.  
Dib glared at her stupid choice of name, but she went on, not caring, "Now, first of all, we are going to sneak your stupid ball-thing onto your ship, and then we will go to Zim's cell to retrieve him. By then I will be expected elsewhere promptly, so you will have to get Zim back to your ship and get out of here on your own after that. Make sure you remember the layout the first time around, because I'm not going to give you a map, and there are none posted around the ship. The Irkens who belong here are expected to know where they're going."  
Dib nodded in understanding, and Tak continued, "By the time we get to Zim, something will have happened that will send all the other Irkens into a panic. They'll be looking for a brown-eyed female. Just pretend you guys are busy looking for her too, and nobody will care where you're really going."  
Again Dib nodded, and swallowed hard against his throat. He was nervous, but he was also terribly excited. Orby had reminded him earlier of his time limit to get back to Earth, and it was much shorter now, but he was confident they could make it. One year - If they avoided all distractions, they could get there in about six months. So the extra six months was a decent cushion for any other unavoidable distractions there might be.  
But first they had to get the hell out of Irk.  
Tak constantly checked the time, several times, until she finally indicated to Dib exactly when they had to go. She was playing her cards very carefully, and Dib of course did the same, but he was pretty much ready for anything. He had been playing with his own mortality since he first arrived on this planet after all, what was one more time gonna do that dragons and dinosaurs and all manners of horrible giant creatures hadn't managed yet?  
She led him out of her ship at the jail when it came time to do her rounds there, so close to the time when she knew that Tallest Purple would soon be receiving a massage from Irken Pepi...  
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Pepi was more nervous than she'd ever been in her entire life. All forty-two cycles of it. She wasn't far from completing her 43rd, but she knew she'd never make it. Once she was caught for this, she was as good as dead.  
She knew that really wasn't the biggest issue at hand. If Purple succeeded in changing things back to the way they were before, potentially billions of Irkens might lose their lives. Not just the intersex Irkens either, but also the Hybrids, which would eventually trace back to her. Brown-eyed Irkens were all descended from Vortians far back enough. They were accepted only because of the height increase they brought to the Irken gene pool. But those that still had their brown Vortian eyes like her were ridiculed for it constantly.  
It wasn't wise to speak out about it, though. Pepi had heard about her feisty half-sister Gazlene once giving Tallest Red a shiner for making fun of her eyes, but that had never been Pepi's nature. Let alone this...  
No matter how she felt about it though, she had to do it. If she didn't, she would eventually be killed anyways, just like all the tallest Vortians had been when planet Vort was conquered. They couldn't be allowed to spread their superior height DNA to other species. After all, they might not be as accommodating to the Irken race as the Vortians had been.  
The Irken female jumped as the door to her massage room swooshed open, and Purple stepped in. She bowed low to him and waited as he sauntered in, stretching his arms with a yawn, "You wouldn't believe the day I've had! I mean, of course you wouldn't, you're just a lowly massage slave - But let me tell you, us Tallest sure have a lot on our plates!"  
Pepi thought to herself, keeping her head down while Purple began to disrobe and step up into the massage table, 'You'll have much less to deal with soon enough...'  
Her venomous thoughts didn't make her feel any braver, but she had committed herself long ago to Red, and now that he had asked her to do this, she was committed to this too. Even if he didn't love her the way she and so many other Irkens loved him, she was still loyal to him and his cause.  
"Hey!" Purple wiggled his two fingers at her from the table. "What are you waiting for? I'm ready, in case you hadn't noticed! Get your freakish four-fingered hands over here already, I'm getting cold! I only hired you because I was told you were the best massage slave in the Capitol, but if your bedside manner starts to decline, I can easily have you replaced!"  
"Forgive me, my Tallest." Pepi replied neutrally, not bothering to explain why she was so distracted. She approached the Tallest Purple, who had removed not only his clothes, but also his PAK, for the massage. "Please allow me to rid you of all your stress..."  
'And all of your other sensations too, you pompous son of a slime-monster...' She thought.  
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After dropping off Orby in the storage cell where the Dual Ship and various other contraband was held, Tak led him through the numerous prison cells, explaining to the only person who asked that Dib was a new recruit. The superior, a red-eyed genderless who was only about four inches taller than Tak, gave Dib's legs a look of disgust. "Ugh. Hybrids make me sick..."  
Tak smiled sweetly back at him, "Yes, I know. I'll never understand why the rule is to only punish the Irken parent. I think we should throw away their freak-smeets too. But I guess some Irkens must like keeping them as pets."  
Dib kept his rage in check as Tak and her equally awful coworker shared a curt laugh, and then Tak led 'Dim' further into the jail, to the very furthest cell in the very back of the structure. When they relieved the last guard of his duty, Tak once again explained that Dib was a new recruit, and that she'd be showing him the ropes during her shift. Just glad for his own shift to be over, the last Irken guard skipped away from Zim's cell and left it in their hands.  
As soon as the last guard had left, Dib was antsy to go in and see Zim, but Tak held him back. "I told you DIM, we have a very strict time pattern we have to abide by! -I- will tell you -exactly- when you can go in!"  
Dib huffed impatiently, "Well how much longer?"  
Tak once again checked the time for the hundredth time that day. "...Fourteen minutes exactly."  
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Pepi started off Purple massage the same way she always did at first. Her 'freakish' four-fingered hands were the best kind of hands for this kind of work, and it was this kind of work that she'd always enjoyed most. It was just her luck that her talents and her tallness got the attention of the Irken elite, and she eventually found her job contract owned by this particular asshole.  
But asshole or not, she wanted one last chance to enjoy her work. The way muscles melted underneath her padded fingers - These so-called 'trueblooded' Irkens sneered in disgust at them, even though four-fingered mutations did occur with them sometimes, even without a Hybrid involved, which was more often than they would admit anyways. She reminded herself that most of their bony little three-fingered hands were not capable of doing what hers could, and took pride in that. She could meld flesh into it's proper shape, make normally silent and stoic Irkens sigh with relief, maybe even purr. She could cure various ailments by simply touching a body. That had been her gift.  
But now, she had to give up her gift, and everything else, for her people, for Red - The only good thing Purple had ever brought to her life. Purple liked to think Red disrespected the Irkens he romanced, but it was never not reciprocated. In fact it was Purple that always made her feel ashamed, like a 'whore', with how he demanded her services. Purple had demanded her strict loyalty, but she had freely given it to Red instead. To keep him and all the many Irkens they held dear safe, she had to make this sacrifice. Now.  
She gave neither him nor even herself any indication of what she was about to do. She was literally massaging him in the same way she always did one second, and in the next, she had taken her hands back, released her spider-legs from her PAK, and sent the pointed ends of each one of them straight through his back and out his chest.  
Purple's eyes and mouth went wide. Shaking, he looked up at her over his shoulder, and her eyes, cold as gold, met his. He was confused, but it only lasted a second. He let out a short, piercing cry of shock before she jerked the spider-legs out of his body. One of them had gone right through his heart, which was now spurting violet blood all over the massage table, and dripping onto the floor. The confusion in his eyes left him, along with all other traces of life.  
Purple's PAK registered his death as soon as it occurred, and set off an alarm that blared throughout the entire compound. Panic set in and Pepi made a break for the door, but it had been sealed shut. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, and then sat down on the floor. She knew this might happen, that it probably would. It was much more frightening now to be faced with the reality, but she accepted it.  
The doors suddenly swooshed open though, and her head jerked up to see who was coming. She was sure that it was a group of guards to arrest her, that they had arrived even quicker than she expected, but it actually wasn't. In fact, there wasn't anyone there.  
Confused, she got up and started to toe her way out the door, when she was abruptly grabbed and dragged underneath what she realized was a reflective blanket. The wearer whispered in her ear as he pulled her along, "Red sent me to get you out of here. Keep low, keep quiet, and keep out of everyone's way, and we might be able to pull that off..."  
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Tak opened the door to Zim's cell exactly thirteen minutes later, and though he really felt like pushing her out of the way, Dib let her go in first, just in case she felt like trapping him in there herself. He still was inclined to believe that it had to be some kind of a trap, until he got further into the cell and finally saw Zim.  
He looked pretty terrible, Dib realized with no small amount of shame. It wasn't as if he could have gotten there any faster, but he still felt bad looking at the little alien - Who was looking a lot littler than usual, too. His cheeks and stomach were sunken in, and his arms and legs were disgustingly bony.  
When Zim first spotted them, he wasn't as glad as Dib expected him to be at first, "EH? Who are you! What do you want!"  
Dib temporarily shut off the hologram and gave his best friend a grin, "Hey, chill out, space boy! I'm here to save your ass and bust you outta here!"  
Zim's eyes went wide as donuts, and his mouth fell open. He had taken Gaz's advice and kept believing that Dib would come for him, but it was mostly just to keep himself from falling into complete despair. Now that he could see him for himself, right in front of his eyes, it filled him with so much hope and joy he could barely keep it contained. "Dib... Is it... -Really- you...?" He asked in a slightly squeaky voice.  
Dib continued to grin, "Yeah, it's really me..."  
Tak didn't have the time or patience for their tearful reunion, and she cut it short there. "Continue your disgusting emotional exchange somewhere else! We have a schedule to adhere to, remember human?"  
Zim growled distrustfully as he noticed the purple-eyed female. "What is SHE doing here?"  
"She's helping us get out." Dib explained shortly, distracted now that she had taken out a few laser tools and began to cut through Zim's cell with them. She had just barely gotten enough of the bars off for Zim to pass through when a loud, shrill alarm went off. Dib jumped at first, looking over at Tak in confusion.  
"It's not the prison alarm." Tak assured him, "I neutralized the alarms to Zim's cell. That a different alarm - It means one of the Tallest is in danger. Tallest Purple, to be exact. I'm guessing he should be dead by now. It also means that I need to go, now - Here." She pinned another holographic disguise creator into Zim's shirt, which when activated made him look almost exactly like Tak, only without her psionic implant. "Now you two hurry and get back to your freak ship before the panic dies down - And do NOT forget our deal, DIB."  
With one last glare at the human, Tak slipped out of the cell and ran off to who knows where, leaving the two alien boys alone. Zim looked at Dib quizzically at first, "What deal?"  
But Dib shook his head as he turned his disguise back on, "No time - I'll tell you when we get the hell out of here. Lets go!"  
Zim only paused for one thing - To grab the broken-looking GIR, before he followed Dib back out the way he'd come. He didn't have any trouble remembering which way to go, but it was a lot harder to navigate with all the Irkens going crazy, pushing their way past or ahead of them, some of them screaming, some of them barking orders and trying to establish order, but all in vain. Murders were rare enough among Irkens, but the murder of a Tallest was something else entirely.  
So that he wouldn't lose him in the crowd, Dib reached behind him and took Zim's hand in his. Zim growled a little and looked around nervously to make sure no one was staring at the odd display, but it was obviously just for show - No one was looking for two random purple-eyed Irkens in all the current craziness, and Zim didn't just not take his hand back, he even squeezed Dib's a little in return as he followed him.  
Dib eventually found their way out of the jail and then led them westward, where the building that had their Dual Ship stored was located. It had been guarded by a few individuals when Tak snuck him and Orby in, but it was now completely deserted in the current panic.  
Dib took out the key that Tak had swiped for him earlier and made their way to the correct storage unit. As soon as he opened the door, Zim let go of his hand and pushed his way past the human, falling into the windshield and hugging it. "My precious ship~"  
"That's real cute, Zim." Dib rolled his eyes, hiding his jealousy. "But how are we going to get that thing out of here? Somebody is bound to notice if we go flying it out the front door..."  
Zim waved off his concerns as he opened the hatch and got inside. Dib followed him in confusion, noting along the way that none of the contents of the ship had been touched - Probably because the Irkens assumed anything belonging to Zim was cursed and to be avoided.  
Zim started up the ship, and Dib was about to ask, "What are you do-?" But he only got that far before Zim had turned the ship around, set his lasers to 'splode-mode', and shot a gigantic hole right through the wall. Dib stared in disbelief. "...Wow. That is even LESS inconspicuous than driving this thing right out the front door..."  
Zim gave him a mad grin, "You're probably right... But I don't care!" He exclaimed gleefully, the ship lurching forward as he drove it through the newly-created hole in the wall.  
Zim managed to navigate their way through the authority-cruisers that were trying to police the many ships that went in and out of the wall all day, well enough at least, until he tried to get through the top layer of the wall into Outer Irk. Then they were flagged down by a persistent ship that demanded contact with them.  
An Irken who looked a lot like Zim, only with about 3 more inches of height and a slightly longer head, appeared on their screen. "Halt! The Capitol is under a state of emergency! No ships may leave without being cleared! You will be thoroughly searched, no exceptions!"  
Dib was annoyed and antsy to just get out of there. From the looks of it, all the other ships that were trying to leave were being forbidden from doing so, so he didn't feel like making time for it. He got a sudden crazy idea, and decided to go with it, reaching over and turning Zim's holographic disguise off. The Irkens all gasped in terror and recognition at the sight of the Horrible Zim, even though there was a handful of Irkens in their ship that looked almost just like him.  
"Oh NO! It's ZIM!" One of his almost-twins cried.  
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE-!" A green eyed female panicked.  
A teal-eyed sexless next to her added frightfully, "He put a SQUID in my cousin's belly! I DON'T WANT A SQUID IN MY BELLY-!"  
While the majority of the Irkens panicked and the leader tried and failed to calm them and his own panic, Dib looked over at Zim oddly. "You put a -squid- in someone's belly once...?"  
Zim looked honestly confused at first, "What? I don't even remember doing anything like that befo-OOH, wait, no, I remember now. WOW, that was a while back though! I was still just a smeet back then, and come on, smeets put things in each other's bellies all the time! I just happened to have a squid!"  
Dib's confusion hadn't gone away. "Where did you get a squid-?" He began to ask, but the teal-eyed Irken screamed after him.  
"HE'S GOT A SQUID, I HEARD HIM-!"  
The leader looked at Zim, his bravery cracking at the possibility of squids. Dib nudged him and he blinked, "Huh-Oh, yes! SQUIDS! I have squids! Oh such squids do I have! You, uh, can't see 'em because they're in the back, but trust me, I got plenty of squids. Probably one for each of you. Mmyep."  
"AAAAIIIEE-!" The communication line went dark.  
Zim scratched his head. "...Well, good to catch up with old classmates! Now lets get the spork out of here..."  
Setting the ship's controls to hyper-speed, they shot out into space. They didn't speak to each other again for the first few hours, focusing on putting a good amount of space between themselves and all the remaining Irken ships that were peppered throughout the current universe. Once they'd finally put most of the Irken controlled territory behind them, Zim put the speed back to cruising levels. Leaving it on hyper-speed too long used up too much gas, which they didn't have much of, and decreased visibility and steering. He steered around the big asteroids without any issues, but a few stray pebbles he hadn't managed to miss had left some dents in the ship.  
Dib finally spoke up first when he noticed that Zim seemed to have calmed down a bit, his shoulders slouching back against his chair. "Hey, uh... Good to have you back again." He mentioned quietly.  
Zim didn't look back at him, but he answered shortly and distractedly. "Yeah, same..."  
Dib was about to go on, but Zim spoke up again suddenly, "I'm literally starving right now. I'm going to go to my quarters, gorge on all the snacks I have stashed away, take a long, hot shower, and have a very long nap in my soft, warm, wonderful bed-that-is-actually-a-bed-and-not-a-hard-cold-floor. Do not disturb me for at least 48 hours. I..." He bit his lip and forged on, "I trust you to fly the ship in my stead while I bring myself back to health."  
Dib gave him a small smile, and silently saluted. Zim nodded back and disappeared into his quarters without another word.  
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	17. Chapter 17

A Learning Experience  
(( A.N. PLEASE READ: Sorry for the long wait guys, but chapter 17 is finally here! Just so you guys know, this chapter contains some very tart LEMONade, if ya get my drift! The plot resumes next chapter, and man is it gonna be a DOOZY... Just a reminder, it'd be best to read "Beneath the Stars" to get the next chapter, especially chapter 3, 9, 10 and 11, the beginning and end of chapter 12, and chapter 13, which are now all up! Now, without further ado~ ))  
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Dib's job over the next 48 hours that Zim needed to himself basically consisted of watching out for big rocks and making sure the ship didn't hit them. It was boring as hell, and he was more antsy than usual. He was worried about Zim, but he respected his need for solace. He was also worried about GIR, who obviously wasn't looking as lively as usual.  
He decided to ask Orby about it, since it was his only current companion. "What do you think is wrong with GIR?"  
Orby didn't look especially concerned about the state of the dull little robot. "It looks like it's broken. Robots do occasionally break."  
"Even you?" Dib asked, partially concerned, and partially just plain curious.  
The Orb's glow turned red, and Dib could feel that the machine was actually offended by that remark. "It's possible, but I do hope you're not suggesting that the craftsmanship of that toy is in any way comparable to my own design."  
Dib quickly shook his head, "Uh, no, I wasn't suggesting that at all!" He promptly went back to rock-watching after that.  
A couple hours later, Zim emerged from his room, rubbing his eyes and then stretching with a yawn. He had Dib's attention from the second the doors swooshed open, and now he was staring at him without shame. The human couldn't really help it though - Zim was so damn cute like that, still drowsy and tired, with his clothes all wrinkled from sleeping in them.  
Zim didn't seem to care too much about the staring at first. He walked over to the console and had the computer heat him up a cup of tea, then slouched down into his chair while he waited for it to brew. At first Dib allowed him silence, not wanting the tired alien to get grumpy if he demanded too much too soon from him.  
After a moment though, Dib noticed the sound of Zim sniffing the air, and glanced over to see Zim with a puzzled expression on his face.  
Dib smelled the inside of his tattered shirt. "What is it? Is it me? I had Orby watch the controls for an hour a bit earlier while I took a shower..." He mentioned, but he was still self-conscious about it. He had short baths in the cold rivers now and again, but going eight months straight without a proper hot shower was definitely a new record for him.  
But Zim blushed and averted his eyes to the side. "No, you're fine..."  
Dib raised a brow at that. Zim would normally never skip the chance to tell him he smelled or call him a Stinkbeast. Obviously something, probably more than one something, was on his mind. "Are you feeling much better now?" The human finally inquired.  
Zim sighed and took his hot cup of tea into his hands once it was done. "Better? I suppose. Much better? That'd be pushing it..."  
Dib nodded in understanding. There was silence between them for a moment or two, then Zim spoke up again, "Your lekku looks different..."  
"Huh? Oh yeah." Dib smiled a bit as he reached up smoothed his hand over the appendage, which now resembled a skinny lightning bolt. "Pretty cool huh? I finally-Ouch!" He pulled back his hand as a little spark shocked him at the end. "Uh, yeah, I finally got those electrokenetic powers under control! For the most part..." He chuckled bashfully.  
Zim didn't laugh at his joke, but one side of his lip curled upward at Dib's mild pain. He covered up the smile by taking a sip of his tea. A long silence passed between them after that, until Dib finally worked up the nerve to mention, "Hey, Zim... I think maybe we should talk. About that one time..." He didn't feel the need to clarify.  
Zim broke into a sweat, and it wasn't from the hot tea. "...I'm going back to bed." He grumbled, getting up from his seat.  
Without thinking about it, Dib's hand shot out and landed on his shipmate's shoulder. "Wait! Zim, please. If you never want to talk about it again, or even acknowledge it, that's fine - But at least let me get my thoughts out first?"  
Zim growled, though it was almost more like a sigh, "Human... Give me a few more hours to drink my tea, and eat some more snacks, and then I'll listen to your emotional vomit about the incident that I am well aware that both of us are well aware of..."  
Dib swallowed against a tight throat, bit his lip and nodded before taking his hand back. He could feel that Zim's form had been trembling, just a tad. He understood that Zim had been through a lot, but it was just as obvious that Dib had too. He had a few new scars on both arms, both legs, and one on his cheek from various close calls, and surely the rest of his body had changed too...  
Oh yes. Zim was also -well- aware of how Dib looked stronger and more attractive than he ever had before, right in this moment. Newly developed muscles from surviving the Irken wild had filled out his lanky form, his new lightning-shaped lekku was really cool, and curse it all, why did he smell so GOOD? What WAS that intoxicating, sweet-salty-spicy-herby hint of WHATEVER it was still clinging to Dib's skin and hair and clothes, even though they'd all been washed?  
Dib watched the Irken's nostril-membranes flare as he continued to sniff with no small amount of interest. But he took another step back and cleared his throat into his hand instead of mentioning it. "That's fine, no problem. Get plenty of rest, and then if you want, we can both tell each other about all the crazy stuff we went through while we were apart, too..."  
Zim nodded again, then quickly headed back to his room for a few more hours of much-needed snacks and silence.  
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Just under another five hours later, Zim emerged once more. His cheeks were still a little gaunt, but his skin was less pale than it had been before, and Zim's stomach had a little paunch to it from pigging out on snacks the past couple of days.  
He crossed the room and sat down in his chair, and then stared expectantly at Dib as Dib pretended not to be waiting for him to talk first. But Zim decided to make it awkward and continued to stare right at him without saying anything, until finally Dib turned and addressed him, "So, are you ready to talk...?"  
Zim finally averted his eyes the second Dib focused his on him, "I was under the impression that it was YOU who wanted to talk? If so I'd appreciate if you got on with it..."  
Dib ignored the attitude. He knew the little green monster got extra arrogant and rude when he was nervous or scared, so he didn't take it to heart. "Look, I just want to say this... The way things happened between us the last time, it probably shouldn't have happened like that. I really hope I didn't hurt you or make you uncomfortable-"  
Zim suddenly scoffed, "You can quit treating me like a smeet right now, Dib. First of all, I'm WAY older than you, and second, I think it should be pretty obvious that I wasn't in any pain or discomfort at that time..."  
Dib blushed and chuckled nasally, "Aha, well, uh, I was pretty sure that was the case too, I just didn't want to make assumptions... Especially since you were -really- drunk. You wouldn't have said those things that night if you weren't."  
Zim's cheeks turned pink as well, and he protested, "You were drunk too!"  
"Not -nearly- as drunk as you were." Dib countered back at him. "But... You said that night, that you'd still be feeling and thinking those things, even if you weren't drunk. Did you mean that...?" He scratched the back of his neck nervously, "Because... I've been thinking and feeling that way about you for a while now, as well. But I won't act on those feelings unless you want me to. I won't do anything like that unless you want me to. And if you don't want to, that's completely fine. We can just, pretend it never happened..."  
"No, Dib. It happened. We can't just pretend it away." Zim replied, uncommonly reasonable. "So what you're suggesting is either to never do it again, or... To continue. Correct?"  
Tight-lipped, Dib simply nodded. Zim pretended to be humming in thought over it, but his nostril-membranes kept flaring, picking up various intriguing scents from the hybrid. This time Dib couldn't help but comment on it after a moment or two, since Zim was taking his sweet time answering the other question. "You keep sniffing! What, do I need another shower...?"  
Zim suddenly bent in and pressed his face in close against Dib's chest, smelling in deep at a certain stain, which he poked at. "What is this...? It smells so familiar..."  
Dib thought back on it, "Some kind of weird fruit-pod-nut-like thing that was growing in the jungle, outside of the wall, that I had to walk through to get back to you. It had some stuff that was kinda like coffee-flavored peanut butter inside of it. The Choka, that's what they called it. Someone accidentally bumped into me holding one."  
"Choka! That's what it was. I knew it was familiar. That's the raw ingredient used to make nacho sauce." Zim licked the corner of his lips.  
"Oh yeah!" Dib suddenly realized the connection himself and smiled over it.  
"But wait," Zim suddenly realized something himself. "Who would just run into you with that out in the jungle? How DID you survive THAT anyways...?" Zim had to admit at least to himself, that was at least every bit as impressive as surviving what he'd been through. The human-hybrid really did keep surprising him.  
"Well to be honest, I did have some help... At first I was alone. Tak threw me out into the ocean. I almost drowned trying to swim back, but a couple of Irkens with fish tails helped me out. Then I was in the jungle for a while, running away from giant lizards pretty much all the time. Then I ran into a tribe of Native Irkens, who eventually let me travel with them and pretty much escorted me back to the wall. I probably wouldn't have made it without them." He freely admitted.  
Zim stared at him. Really stared at him. "Y-You were accepted by a tribe of wild, ancestral Irkens...?"  
"Yup! Although, they're not THAT much more wild than you guys. In fact, I think the Irkens inside the Wall could really stand to get back to their Native roots..."  
For the next couple of hours, Dib told Zim everything he'd learned about the Natives and his experiences with them, which Zim listened to with wide-eyed fascination. Being from the wall, Zim had never met his ancestors, or seen or smelled any of the plants in person, even though many Irken snacks were derived from the raw base ingredients found in the wild.  
Dib pointed to another stain near the collar, "This one was from a plum-like fruit I liked eating, called a Wiji. Or it might also be that pink mango-looking thing, the Tuki. They were super juicy and always made a mess."  
"What's this stain?" Zim pointed to a particularly large reddish stain near the bottom of Dib's shirt.  
"That... Is actually a blood stain." Dib admitted, causing Zim to recoil in disgust. "It just so happens that your Native ancestors do everything the 'old fashioned way', including having smeets. I helped deliver a few. They handed me one of the eggs to hold while the female was still delivering a twin. Eggs usually take about ten minutes to hatch, but the first one I got was a soft-shell and the little one broke out of it almost as soon as they put him in my arms."  
"That is so gross..." Zim stuck out his tongue and gagged.  
"Yeah..." Dib chuckled. "But also kind of miraculous and awesome? I wonder if me or Gaz was born in an egg? Plus, your ancestors, they kinda MAKE the smeets the 'old fashioned way' too..."  
Zim's jaw dropped. "They LET you see THAT?" He squeaked before covering his still open mouth with both hands, completely scandalized.  
"They kinda REALLY didn't care." Dib reported to him in a very unashamed and devil-may-care kind of way. "Zim, it was a wide open jungle with predators everywhere. You can't exactly get a motel room in the middle of a jungle. Man, makes me wonder how the first Neo-Irkens did it! But anyways, I mean yeah, they'd go behind a bush or tree to try to make sure smeets didn't see, but ye-yeeeah... They kinda REALLY didn't care..." He trailed off as he finally noticed how alarmingly red in the face Zim was getting.  
"...Y-You okay there buddy?" Dib asked very awkwardly after a few seconds of still shocked silence.  
Zim abruptly exploded in a nervous fit, "SO, w-what exactly is it you are suggesting, Dib-filth?! You FILTHY little... FILTH?! HMM?!"  
Dib put his hands up defensively. "H-Hey, calm down! I'm not suggesting anything! But you never did really answer the question earlier, about if you wanted to stop or continue..." He pointed out fairly, then added, "Look, I know why you might feel ashamed to think and feel the way you do, but you don't have to. And if you give me the chance, I'll make sure you'll be glad you did..."  
The skinny little alien's blood was still burning, and he withdrew his legs onto the chair, winding his arms around them, subconsciously trying to hide. "I... I don't know. I want to. Kind of." He blurted out nervously. "But I just don't know..."  
Dib nodded in understanding, keeping his distance. "It's okay if you don't really know. And, I'm sorry if I confused you - I guess your people's sexualities are just as different from the Natives as everything else. But you DO know you want to... And you seemed to, um, really like what we did last time..." He reminded him.  
Zim groaned and glanced away from him in embarrassment, but Dib insisted, "I mean, I know you probably didn't have much, if any experience with sex before that, but it still got you off -pretty- quick..."  
Zim groaned again and smacked his forehead, "Oh you ignorant dolt - That's because you were touching the most sensitive part of my -entire- body! I might be inexperienced, but even the dumbest Irken ever knows that you only start touching the lekku once you want to or-" He stopped himself there, realizing just in time what he was about to say.  
But Dib got the message, and he blushed almost as much as Zim, laughing a bit to the side. "OH... Haha, uh, whoops, my bad... B-But, see, this is why it's good to talk about these things first! It's a learning experience!"  
Zim didn't looked nearly as amused as Dib, but he wasn't quite as tense as he'd been a moment ago either. At his continued silence, Dib went on, "So, then, do you know what you might like to do, or what other Irkens like you usually like? Like... Do you know if you guys ever do... Oral?"  
At first Zim looked confused because Dib had said the word in his Earth-language, not knowing the Irken equivalent. So Dib explained further, "You know, when you... Or your partner..." He added, licking the corner of his lips nervously. "Uses their mouths? And, um... T-Tongues..."  
He barely managed to get the word 'tongues' off of his own tongue, as Zim had suddenly directed him a shocked stare. Shocked, but also sorely tempted - Hungry. Zim had virtually no experience sexually, but he had overheard an alpha-male or female bragging a few times before. What the human was suggesting was supposed to be forbidden for anyone who was shorter to ask a taller partner, and even if one was taller, it was considered arrogant at best and coercive at worst to ask instead of letting your partner willingly offer the service. It was definitely servile, but it was also tied in to a great deal of mutual trust, respect and admiration, too.  
Dib could tell soon enough that he'd hit an area of interest by how the alien continued to stare at him. Going by pure instinct, he got down from his chair, to the floor onto his knees, and crawled over to Zim's seat. Zim watched, fascinated, as Dib rested his gigantic, beautiful head at his tiny green feet. He was trying to be disarming, and for the most part succeeding, but Zim was very aware of a few important things that gave him pause.  
If Dib was an Irken, this would be unheard of. Dib was taller than the Tallest themselves, he would be -Tallest- if he was Irken. Zim couldn't deny that alone gave him a strong thrill. But now Dib was offering him the greatest gesture of trust that could be shared between Irkens, a gesture that was supposed to only be available to the taller of the two.  
Fuck everything that was supposed to be 'wrong' about this. Dib made Zim feel like the Tallest Irken in the whole Armada.  
Zim slowly put his legs down from the chair, letting them rest on either sides of the human's head. Then he took a shuddering breath as Dib nuzzled his head against his inner thigh, and asked the alien quietly, "Do you want me to...?"  
"Nn... Not here..." Zim whispered back, glancing out the window. It was very unlikely that any ships would get close enough to see into theirs, and just as unlikely that they would get any video-calls, but he still felt paranoid and exposed. Not to mention, there was Dib's creepy ghost-mom robot-thing on the other side of the room, pretending not to notice them.  
"Then... Your room?" Dib suggested, softly kissing the side of Zim's inner knee, the zipper of his boot scraping against his fresh-shaved chin.  
Zim nodded mutely, still staring at Dib lowering himself before his lap, jolts of sensation traveling up his thigh from the simple kiss. How could he look away? It was too deliciously intoxicating.  
So Dib was the one who thought to reach over and quickly set the controls to autopilot, before bringing his hands back to Zim's hips, and picking the skinny little alien up with ease. Zim grabbed his shoulders and wrapped his legs around his torso, staring down at the human, wide-eyed, as their heart-organs pounded with anticipation.  
Dib carried the alien into his room, the door swooshing behind them. He walked over to Zim's bed and sat down on it, with Zim still in his lap, and then looked up expectantly at his lover, who was still staring at him in shock, not quite believing yet that this was happening. Well, again.  
Dib kicked off his boots, and after a few seconds of silence, he raised an eyebrow at him. "Um... Do you maybe want to start with kissing?"  
It took Zim's brain an extra second to remember what kissing was and what it entailed. "Uh-Ng-Y-Yes, k-kissing would be, f-fine..." His blood was already rushing from all the suggestive things Dib had been saying and doing, but he got an extra jolt of excitement and nervousness now that things were just about to begin.  
Dib straightened himself out, but couldn't quite reach Zim with how rigid he was. Zim realized this and bent back down the last couple of inches to reach Dib's lips, his chest exploding with warmth at the simple contact. Dib closed his eyes right away, but Zim kept his open, watching him.  
It started out as simple kissing, but soon both of them were subconsciously pressing deeper against each other, and before either of them knew it, it became like one of their familiar old battles, each of them constantly trying to one-up the other. It didn't last long once Dib hesitantly stuck his tongue out though - Then Zim pounced on his mouth, and his agile, serpentine tongue invaded and dominated Dib's chubbier appendage painfully easily, almost dragging Dib into the Irken's mouth by his tongue.  
Dib moaned back into his conqueror's mouth, clutching at Zim behind his back. Zim arched his back against those fingers and swirled his tongue all around, several times, until he was convinced that Dib was very sure who had won this round.  
The human was dazed by his lover's natural skills, but he was eager to prove himself too, and he wouldn't accept defeat so easily. He let the alien play captive with his tongue for a little while longer, just long enough to distract him until Dib had moved his hands down Zim's back to the sides of his hips. Once there the human grabbed him by the outer thigh, and pulled him in closer until he was sitting directly on top of Dib's half-hard member.  
Zim broke the kiss with a gasp and squirmed against the strange new 'seating arrangements'. It was a little too sudden and shocking to be entirely comfortable at first, but feeling Dib's strange bulge-y human part rubbing against his squirmy one quickly lit the fire in his belly once more. Experimentally, he rocked his hips against the bulge in Dib's pants, making the human bite his bottom lip with a groan.  
Well, that was kind of fun. But it wasn't what the Dib-worm - Delicious little worm that he was - Had promised. Zim licked his lips and nudged him again, "I think it's clear who has the superior tongue here. Hopefully yours won't completely disappoint me..."  
Dib's eyes shot open and he glared up at the cocky little alien. Without replying, Dib held on to Zim's hips tightly, stood up, turned around, and tossed the arrogant little green bastard onto his bed. Zim was halfway through several insults when Dib crawled onto the bed too, kneeling at his feet. Then the alien suddenly stopped, and watched in fascination as the human began to unzip his boots.  
Dib pulled off the thick, tough army boots and tossed them to the ground, revealing the much more petite green feet underneath. He began gently massaging one cloven-toed foot, which made Zim lean back against his pillow with a sigh, as soon as he had temporarily detached his PAK and let it rest next to his bed. When Dib used both thumbs to massage the fleshy part of the heel, just beneath his toes, it soon had the alien squirming once more.  
The hybrid was just a little jealous of his lover. Having been running and jumping around the jungle for almost a year, he felt like he could use a good massage himself. He knew he probably wouldn't be able to talk Zim into that - But maybe, if he played his cards right, he could find relief some other way...  
He stripped Zim of his other boot and began to massage the other foot, but Zim wasn't as interested in the foot massage anymore, now that all the blood was rushing elsewhere. Dib smirked and moved his hands up to Zim's knee, kissing his ankle as he rested the alien's petite foot on his shoulder.  
Zim's face kept growing hotter as he watched Dib move closer slowly, little by little. When his lips reached his knee and his hands had roamed further down Zim's thigh, just before he touched his groin, he bypassed it and headed for the hem of Zim's pants at his waist instead. Then he quirked his eyes up at Zim, asking him with his gaze while just barely tugging at his pants.  
Zim barely nodded, eyes wide. But just when Dib started to pull them down further, he quickly told him just before he'd gotten them halfway off his hips, "W-Wait!"  
Dib stopped immediately and looked up at Zim, who swallowed hard and added, "I-I, um... Don't touch my female part. Only touch my male part..." He instructed him seriously.  
Dib nodded back just as seriously, and returned to his task, dragging Zim's pants down. They were the strangest material, like a cross between regular cotton fabric and rubber, and the blackest shade of black he'd ever seen. But when he finally got them off of Zim's legs, the Irken was sudden overcome by a bout of shyness, covering his genitalia with his hand and looking away.  
Dib quirked an eyebrow at him, "Zim, I can't really do what I proposed unless you, you know..."  
Zim didn't listen to him right away, and instead asked in return, "Just out of curiosity, why DO you want to do what you proposed earlier, Dib?"  
Dib blushed a little redder than he'd like to admit to. "Uh... Uuuhmmm..." He dawdled for a few seconds. It wasn't that he didn't know how to answer, it was that he wasn't sure if he should.  
But his reluctance to answer only made Zim want to know more. "You WILL tell me, you irresistibly sweet-smelling love-pig-thing!"  
"I don't really know why! I just do!" Dib blurted back, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I-I mean, I guess I -have- thought about it a few times, when I was going through puberty, and you used to stick your tongue out at me at school..."  
Zim growled, "I thought that was supposed to be a normal Earth-child insult!"  
"It is!" Dib assured him, barely trying to restrain his grin. "I just, uh, kinda thought of other things when you did it too, hehe..."  
The Irken glared, reached over and punched Dib on the shoulder. "FILTHY pig-filth!" He scolded, but he was grinning like a lupine lizard-beast, too. He wasn't about to tell Dib just what particular dirty thoughts he'd had about him, but he knew they were probably almost as dirty as the human's.  
...Probably.  
He went on, "That doesn't answer my question! It's obvious why you would take interest in my clearly superior Irken tongue, but I meant, why do you want to... You know, do the other thing!"  
Dib was loving how uncomfortable the subject made him, how his green face was blotched with red. The human reached up and rubbed his chin with his thumb as he thought, "That's actually a good question. I mean, on Earth it kinda works quid pro quo. You know, tit for tat. You scratch my back, I scratch yours."  
"I see, so you expect me to return the favor..." Zim looked reluctant, and confused. "But where does the back scratching come into play?"  
Dib shook his head and rolled his eyes. "No Zim, the back scratching part was just an expression." The Irken looked slightly disappointed at that. "And no, I don't -expect- you return the favor, or do anything else you don't want to. But I'm not gonna lie, I'll probably be inclined to perform better if I have something to look forward to..." He smirked and raised an eyebrow inquisitively.  
"I see..." The little green spaz finally laid back down against his mattress, and took his hands away from his groin, gripping the sheets by his side instead. "I think it makes more sense to see how well you perform -before- I go promising you anything..."  
Dib shrugged idly, his eyes now completely distracted by Zim's squirming alien cock, which seemed to be shyly trying to keep his female part covered, while at the same time twitching involuntarily upwards as Dib stared at it. "Fair enough... You ready?"  
Zim bit his bottom lip and growled under his breath. "You're boring me now!" He lied nervously. "Get on with it!"  
Dib's smirk turned into a grin, and he reached down, placing his hands on the sides of his lover's narrow hips. "Bored, are you..." He practically purred as he lowered his head and kissed the dip between his thigh and groin, just barely ghosting by his little green member. "Heh..." The human chuckled as his alien lover squirmed, "You cocky little bastard. You're not even going to be able to -pretend- you didn't love this when I'm done with you."  
Dib didn't waste a single second more. He grasped onto the alien penis, which wriggled so strongly in his hand that he almost let go of it in surprise, until he heard the loud, low-pitched groan Zim emitted right after. Dib then leaned his head in and stuck out his tongue, the flat surface making contact with the skinny end of Zim's member.  
Zim let out a gasp so loud and ragged he almost choked on it, then he took several hyperventilating gasps to catch up with his breath. That blunt, slimy human muscle certainly felt a lot more impressive than it looked, especially when he slurped the tip in further, and rolled his tongue around it. He had to dig his claws into the mattress to avoid tearing the human's shoulders up instead, the sensations assaulting his spinal cord and brain. Overwhelming didn't come close to describing it.  
Dib didn't stop there, he kept going even further down. Zim wasn't really tiny for his stature, but compared to Dib he was, and the hybrid found it to be relatively simple to keep taking in more of the alien appendage into his mouth. He'd never told anyone about it, but Dib, curious little monkey that he was, had 'practiced' on a banana a few times before when he was just blossoming into his sexuality, always when alone in his room, of course. It wasn't the same by a stretch, the shape was entirely different and of course the banana didn't squirm around in his mouth, but it did give Dib the confidence to proceed with the air of vaguely knowing what he was doing.  
That was, until Zim's slimy, serpentine cock curiously bypassed the human's tongue and began to probe at the back of his throat. Not expecting it, Dib gagged a bit and pulled back, panting for air. Zim sat up a little to look at him then. He'd been caught up in feeling the sensations before and had closed his eyes for a moment, but now he wanted to know what Dib looked like.  
He wasn't disappointed. The human's face was flushed red, his tongue still stuck out, and a line of saliva had just fallen from his tongue onto his chin and neck. Zim had never really thought of many things in a sexual way, but it was impossible to deny - Dib looked really MESSY, but also really -sexy- like that.  
It also vaguely occurred to the alien as he stared at the line of saliva - He was pretty damn lucky all the Irken food and water had cleansed out all the Earth pollutants from the human-hybrid's system. This experience would be considerably less enjoyable if it hadn't...  
Dib suddenly glanced up at Zim, giving him a weird, heavy sort of stare. Zim gave him a curious and nervous sort of look in return, one brow up higher than the other. Then Dib suddenly cracked a grin and asked him, "Does this thing have a mind of it's own, or do you think you can make it be still for just a moment?"  
"It kind of does..." Zim answered seriously. "But I'll try..."  
Dib nodded before lowering his head once more, sticking out his tongue and sliding it along the underside of Zim's cock, lower and lower until he felt the weird skinny tip at the back of his throat. He braced himself with a quick breath, and then went even lower. Zim threw his head back against the mattress and his breath got caught in his throat as he felt himself being swallowed. It felt so amazing he almost wanted to throw his legs around the human's neck, but Dib had taken his hands back from the base of his member as he took it into his mouth, and had replaced his hands on the alien's thighs, keeping his legs spread open and held down while Dib took him inside.  
It was almost impossible to keep his cock from wriggling around just a little, but Dib's tight throat constricting around him made it a bit easier to manage. It was only -almost-overwhelming, until Dib forced himself to go even a bit further, and then the entirety of Zim's cock was inside of the human's mouth. But that wasn't even the most incredible part about it, although it certainly came close - Dib didn't realize it, caught up in his current task as he was, but Zim very acutely aware that the human's tongue was perilously close to the spot where his male part ended and his female parts began.  
And to Zim's complete shock, it felt absolutely incredible. Before he'd been focusing solely on his male genitalia, and by all means he still was, but when Dib's tongue touched that sensitive spot, the precipice to his entrance, a sharp jolt went through his whole body, and he momentarily forgot pretty much everything in the world except for that maddeningly tight, intense -ache-, the mightiest need he had ever experienced.  
Zim had a complete set of male organs, although his testicles were inside of his body, just on the other side of the wall of his vaginal canal. The layer of skin between the two was thin, and he could feel his testes tightening as Dib's tongue brushed over them too.  
But then suddenly, the sensation was gone. Zim gasped so harshly his throat ached almost as much as Dib's, and then he growled against the pain, "Damn you, human! Why did you stop-?!"  
Dib gasped too a few times before answering, "Geez!" Gasp, pant. "You jerk!" Pant, cough. "Did you forget I need to BREATHE?"  
"Oh." Indeed, he had forgotten everything, including that, for a moment. "...Damn you, human! Why do you need to breathe so much?"  
Dib didn't bother to stop catching his breath to answer him, and instead flicked the side of Zim's hip in response. He took a good sweet few seconds to completely restore his oxygen supply before Zim started to get annoyed and growled at him. Then he finally returned to the male organ, swirling his tongue around the tip.  
It still felt amazing, but Zim wasn't -quite- as amazed this time. His mind, his needs, were now elsewhere. He let the human continue to service him for a moment, but he couldn't stop thinking about and feeling that ache deep inside. Hesitantly, he finally looked down, and whispered, "D-Dib...?"  
Dib stopped and looked up at his lover. His curious eyes met Zim's nervous stare, and he dragged his tongue up and off of Zim's cock slowly before answering, "What is it, Zim? Is there something you want me to do for you?"  
Zim's squee skipped a beat and then pounded hard against his chest. He had never in his entire life heard sweeter words than those that had just been spoken to him. His wide eyes became half-lidded with a desire so strong he couldn't deny it, he no longer wanted to. Technically, in his society, the sex of the person receiving didn't matter during this kind of act, and it wasn't considered penetration. Zim tried to convince himself of that as he quietly began to request, "I, I want you to..."  
He reached down and took his cock in one hand, holding it against his stomach and using the other hand to point shyly at the bottom base of his penis. "Lick here..."  
Dib obeyed him, literally and exactly as he had asked and indicated, licking the base of his cock but not the spot that Zim really wanted. He was so close, but not close enough for Zim's liking. "Nnn, lower..."  
"Lower?" Dib took his tongue back and parroted back to him in confusion. "But, um, Zim..."  
The little green jerk ground his teeth, "Do not question Zim! Do as I say! DO IT NOW!"  
But Dib kept his calm. He had to make sure he was understanding his lover correctly. "Zim. Cool it. Are you telling me that you want me to lick you..." He suddenly blew a light, breezy breath of air on the alien opening, which at first just looked like a pair of vertical green lips. "There?"  
"HNNGH-YES!" Zim gasped back, and Dib stared wide-eyed in wonder as those green lips suddenly began to unfold at his breath, into what looked like a tiny kite or manta ray kind of shape. It was a dark magenta-red beneath his outer green skin, and he had to take at least a second to take in that vibrant color combination and wonder, how-?  
But before he could make it two seconds, Zim downright snarled at him impatiently, "NOW, DIB, YOU-OH...!" The alien abruptly stopped his tirade the very next second as his hybrid lover leaned down again and swiped his tongue around the inner lips several times, but not any further near the entrance. Still feeling the need to yell about something, Zim immediately commanded him, "MORE!"  
Dib steadied his grip on Zim's legs, and pressed his mouth in neatly against Zim's inner lips, which were about the same size. He flattened his tongue against the entrance, lapped at it, but still did not invade the invader's body. Instead he was savoring the experience, and the unique 'tangy' flavor - There really was no other way to describe what Zim tasted like. It was just... 'Tangy'.  
Zim was really starting to get annoyed by Dib's slow, careful explorations. It felt absolutely amazing, but it wasn't enough, it still wasn't -exactly- what he wanted, but it was so close he could almost taste it. "Dib, m-more..." He panted out nervously, swearing that if he had to spell it out to the human again, he was going to smack him.  
Dib didn't need to be smacked or spelled out to this time though. He slowly probed the tip of his slug-like tongue inside, and Zim gasped loudly as that part of his body swelled with blood and other fluids, hyper-sensitive, tightening and releasing rapid-fire. Zim was only halfway through his next command, "MO-" and Dib was already fulfilling it, and him. The word caught in his throat as he threw his head back, "OOH...!"  
Dib had about half of his tongue inside. He could go a bit further, but instead, he swirled his tongue around Zim's insides, bumping into several strange squishy things in his exploration. Zim in turn moaned out several other vowels in response, "AAAH! EEEEH! KKHRASDFMN...!" Dib was pretty sure that last one was two or three Irken words cut off and fused together, and none of them meant anything wholesome.  
Zim took several short breaths before managing to yet again command his hybrid lover in a deep growl, "MORRRE..."  
Dib finally let go of the last of his inhibitions and thrust the rest of his tongue that could fit inside of Zim's body. The Irken let out an incomprehensible shout, trying in vain to flail his legs, but Dib was wisely still holding them down for his own safety. Instead Zim rocked his hips up towards Dib's mouth, still not satisfied. Greedy little green thing that he was, he still demanded, "MORE..."  
The human really tried to give it to him, but he could go no further. Zim growled several times back and forth to himself in frustration realizing the same. "RRR-DIB! I WANT MORE..." He still selfishly demanded, beginning to reach down and grab at Dib's hair.  
But Dib wasn't going to put up with that this time, and he backed off instead. Zim had to bite down on his lips harshly, to restrain the urge to whimper at the loss as Dib informed him, "ZIM, my tongue can't go any further than that!"  
The little green monster panted several times, otherwise silent. Dib's words barely even registered to him. All he could focus on was that deep, incessant -ACHE-, the NEED he'd left behind, it was driving him MAD!  
But then Dib quirked a brow at him, and Zim's face flushed with color to realize that he might be catching on. He couldn't bring himself to just say it though, not yet, and he averted his eyes to the side, shaking with unfulfilled desire.  
Dib could practically feel it off of him, not to mention a little dangerous resentment, so he inquired cautiously, "Z-Zim, did you, um, still want... More?"  
Zim's eyes suddenly flared, and he grabbed onto Dib's shoulder, throwing his minuscule weight into dragging Dib onto his back. To avoid hurting the little green shrimp, Dib went with it, re-positioning Zim on top of himself, sitting on his stomach. Zim then leaned down, leveling his face with Dib, and glared deeply at him. "Just WHAT is it you want from me, human! REVEAL YOUR SECRETS TO ZIM! When did you take off your pants and WHY? WHAT ARE YOUR HIDDEN INTENTIONS?!" The paranoid pipsqueak screeched at him.  
"Zim, for the sake of my EARDRUMS, will you CALM DOWN? My pants were getting tight, I took them off back when I was still sucking your dick! I'm not going to do -anything- unless you want me to, so chill! I was just touching myself, just in case you got off quick and fell asleep like last time!"  
Zim blushed at the embarrassing reminder, "I-I TOLD you, that was because you touched my lekku, stupid! And I only let you do that then so I could be pretty sure I would-!" He cut himself off suddenly, his face going almost entirely red.  
Dib steeled a cold look back at him, "Oh. Ooooh. So that's how it is. You thought I'd be a hopeless dolt before, and now that it's clear that I -can- get you off, from the looks of it pretty -easily-, now you're trying to blame me for your desires? You idiot - If you want something, just tell me! I'm not going to judge you for it!"  
"Th-That's not what I-!" Zim swallowed against a strange sudden lump in his throat, then shook his head and averted his eyes. "I don't care who judges me for it... Except me!"  
"Then why are YOU judging yourself for it?" Dib pressed, softening his expression, and sliding his hands to rest on Zim's knees. "You know... Penetration doesn't necessarily equal submission, right? If that's what you're worried about..." He blushed a little at his suggestion and nervously cleared his throat.  
Zim bared his teeth, still flush with color. "I DID know that, you monkey-minded buffoon! Despite my lack of first-hand experience, I still know FAR more than you do about Irken sexuality! I'm on top now, so that means I'm in charge!"  
Dib glanced down between then with a small smirk. "Okay... Then what's the problem? You're in charge now, so do what you want."  
Zim's eyes went wide, and he blinked several times, not so sure what to do with the reigns of the situation now that they were in his grasp. He stared down at Dib's torso, specifically his sculpted abdomen, which Zim was still sitting on, naked, and suddenly very aware of it.  
"Nn..." The Irken bit the tip of his tongue, suddenly too self-aware to either get off of Dib or make any move. The heat off the human's skin and the ripples of his muscles kept him firmly settled where he was, but his squee was tripping over itself. He'd been face to face with all kinds of horrible alien beasts, but he'd never been as nervous in his life as he was at that moment.  
Zim finally glanced up at Dib's face and noticed that the human was staring at him expectantly, which put him even more on edge. He felt the need to do something, but he didn't know what. Hesitantly, he shifted himself just a tiny bit lower on Dib's stomach. He was in the middle of trying to think of something else to say, when suddenly Dib let out the most delicious little noise - A soft, low-pitched, "Aah..."  
Zim stared at the human as his brown eyes fluttered shut, and he dug his head back against the mattress. Then he took a few huffs of air, and slowly blinked his eyes open again.  
The alien immediately leaned down and took Dib's chin in his slender hand, forcing him to look at him. "Why did you do that? That thing you just did. The noise you just made. What made you do that?" He asked rapid-fire, his pulse beating against every inch of his skin.  
Dib blinked up at him in confusion at first, until he finally realized what his antsy lover was talking about. "Oh..." He smiled slowly. "It's just... I..." His hands slid upwards from Zim's knees, to his thighs and finally his hips. "Like the way you feel, against me..."  
The human abruptly gripped his hips and ground his stomach up against his genitals, causing the little green male to throw his head back and gasp as he felt his slimy fluids gather and, much to his embarrassment, leak. But Dib didn't seem the least bit mortified by the situation. He threw his head back too and let out a louder moan than before, and Zim suddenly realized he no longer felt obligated to make sure the human reached an orgasm - Now he -wanted- to see it happen. Badly.  
Just as he was starting to realize that, Zim blushed as he felt Dib's stiffened member press up against his backside. He looked over his shoulder at the erect human penis, warily noting it's shape and size. It wasn't Dib's fault of course, but it wasn't exactly appealing to Zim at first. The shape was incredibly odd, and the size of it was, to the much smaller Irken, rather daunting.  
Despite his height, Dib was not quite as formidable in size when it came to what was in his pants. Compared to other human males, he would only be considered 'average'. But compared to the average Irken? Dib had nothing to be ashamed of, to say the least.  
Zim was unsure at first if he ought to attempt what his mind was suggesting to him. But the fact that it was making him so nervous to try really pissed him off, and made him want to do it even more. Gulping, he scooted back until Dib's member was between his legs, then he reached between them and grabbed the human's cock, sitting up on his knees while he began to position himself above it.  
Dib stared at him in shock and disbelief until it seemed that he was just about to go through with it. Then he suddenly reached in and grabbed Zim by the hips, not pulling him in, but in fact keeping him from doing so. "Whoa! W-Wait, hold on, Zim!"  
Zim growled loudly at the interruption, even though he was also secretly a little relieved. "What is it? This had better be good, Dib!" Zim waited for him to spill it, and glared at him when he didn't do so fast enough. "Well? What is it?" He demanded.  
"You-You can't get pregnant, right?" Dib finally blurted out.  
And Zim proceeded to give him the biggest 'What the fuck' expression ever given. "Are you serious..."  
"YES, I'm serious!" Dib glared. "I don't want kids! And you are part female, right? Do you know if you're able to get pregnant?"  
Zim reached up and smacked his own forehead, and then Dib's too. "Are you really THAT stupid? Maybe your inferior human eyes need to be checked again, but it would be clear to any Irken that I have FAR more male sex characteristics than female, which would indicate that my female parts are most likely not complete and do not function. They are not and they do not. I checked myself with an x-ray before and I lack the ovaries to supply the eggs to be impregnated, and I've never menstruated once in my life. Happy?"  
Dib admittedly took a breath of relief hearing that. "Okay, yes, I do feel much better now..."  
A short silence passed between them, until Zim finally spoke up, "...YOU can't get pregnant, right?"  
"...Are you serious."  
"YES I'M SERIOUS! I don't want any ICKY little worm-larvaes either!"  
"I'm one hundred percent male!"  
"Males can get pregnant in some species!"  
"...No Zim, human males absolutely cannot get pregnant, ever. Happy?"  
Zim took a breath of relief, and then anxiously cleared his throat. "Then, are there any more objections?"  
Dib swallowed and nodded, and sat back upwards "Yes, actually, one. Listen - I understand if it makes you feel more secure or in charge to be on top, and trust me, I've got no problem with that. But from a purely subjective standpoint, I just got to say, this might not be the best position for someone who has never had this kind of sex before. Gravity IS kind of a factor..." He pointed out fairly.  
But Zim wasn't exactly in the mood to hear anything fair or reasonable. He growled back, "Just WHAT are you trying to say, Dib?! That I'm too WEAK to handle myself?!"  
"No! Damn it, Zim, it's not like that! I just think it might be a better idea to let me be on top just this once because I-!" Dib tried to protest, but Zim cut him off again.  
"RRR-I KNEW IT! Cease your stupid noise-making NOW, Dib-worm! I am an INVADER! I invade OTHERS, I do not let them invade ME!"  
Dib opened his mouth to protest once more, but Zim promptly shut him up with a fierce kiss, sealing their lips together and grabbing the back of his head, dragging him in closer. The human was momentarily distracted by the almost-violent kiss, drawn into his mouth as Zim captured and played with his tongue. Before Dib managed to get his wits back about him, Zim had positioned the tip of his cock, and taken half the head inside.  
Right away Zim seemed to look uncomfortable, at least to Dib. The reality was actually quite far from Dib's fears, but he insisted on grabbing Zim's hips again and trying to hold him back, "Wait-"  
"Let GO, DIB-!" Zim immediately snarled back grabbing both of Dib's hands and tearing them away. In doing so he lost his balance and fell down, gasping sharply as the entirety of the hybrid's member entered him at once. Dib gasped too, both from the shock of the pleasure and his deep guilt. He stared silently at Zim to cue him whether or not he was okay.  
The alien didn't seem to know for sure himself. It definitely had hurt, it was too much and too fast and it stung even more to know that it was kind of his own dumb fault for not listening. But at the same time, he'd had more than enough fluids ready to ensure it wasn't too painful, and in fact, it felt amazingly, overwhelmingly, -shockingly- good. How was it even possible for something to feel so good and still have the audacity to hurt a little too?  
After a few seconds of deep breathing from both parties, Dib hesitantly spoke up first, "Zim? Are you, okay-?"  
"Shut up." Zim interrupted him. "Don't speak, and don't move..."  
Dib obeyed flawlessly, stiffening his whole body and clamping his lips shut. He waited patiently after that as Zim slowly began to sit up and straighten himself out. It was almost torturous, for both of them really, but especially for the Irken. Dib hadn't been kidding about gravity being a factor - Not just because of the fall, but also because now that he was seated, it was hard to want to get back up, and it ached as Zim struggled to do so.  
When Zim had finally withdrawn most of the way, Dib suddenly grasped him underneath his arms and pushed him off and onto his back, on the other side of the mattress. Then he crawled over Zim and demanded, "You IDIOT! Are you OKAY?"  
Zim's cheeks flushed and he nodded quietly. Dib went on after a sigh of relief, "You jerk... I really didn't want you to get hurt..."  
The Irken's chest mirrored the feelings of guilt that were apparent on Dib's face. He quickly corrected the young human, "It didn't hurt -that- bad... But, that position wasn't as comfortable as I'd hoped either so, uh... I -guess- we can try it your way..." He finally concluded, his voice getting smaller and smaller until it was barely a mumble.  
Dib's eyes went wide and hs face went red, "A-Are you sure...?"  
Zim looked away stubbornly. "Just do it before I change my mind..."  
His hybrid lover leaned in and kissed his lips, not rushing to obey him this time. And just this once, Zim didn't mind that so much himself. Both of them leaned in and closed their eyes, for once not fighting for control, but simply enjoying each other. Zim had been so afraid before that Dib's massive form would make him feel trapped, imposed upon. But he was once again pleased to find himself all too wrong. He felt only that strange familiar feeling from before, the feeling of being sheltered and protected... Well, that, and the burning, pulsing, aching need for the human to finally finish what he'd started.  
After a moment or two, Zim pulled his lips back from Dib's, sloppily slurping his tongue back into his mouth. "Dib... I want more, now..."  
Dib nodded down at his lover, taking his knees into his hands and gently spreading his skinny green legs. He took a full breath and let it go, and then led the tip of his member up to Zim's entrance, slowly probing the tip in.  
Zim tensed up just a bit when Dib was first entering him, then he relaxed as his body readjusted itself slowly to the size. Initially Dib only pushed in halfway, just when Zim began to grit his teeth, then he backed off again. He went back in again, just a bit more than halfway, then retreated once more. He started with a slower rhythm, which soon progressively became more steady, just as Zim's breathing was at first slow and even, and soon became quick, erratic pants. It was almost like one of Dib's massages, the alien thought, only on the inside, and about a thousand times more pleasurable and intimate.  
Dib had been outstandingly patient so far, but he could no longer pretend to be entirely selfless. He lost himself in his senses, which were in turn lost in Zim. The louder Zim let himself get, the deeper Dib allowed himself to go - It worked out pretty well that way, or so Zim made it sound. Dib finally allowed himself to groan deeply back, feverishly kissing the alien's chest.  
"OOH, DIB...!" Zim writhed against the human's thrusts, his tongue lolling out the corner of his mouth.  
Seeing it sent a rush through Dib's spine and cock, and he hissed-hummed back at his lover, "Zzimm..." He realized pretty suddenly that he wasn't going to be able to last much longer. His blood was rushing, the heat and the friction they were creating together kept building, and Dib now had to worry that he'd be the one to complete first and pass out.  
Reaching between the two of them, he took Zim's squirmy shaft into his hand and began to stroke him. Zim gasped and threw his head back, feeling himself begin to tip over the edge. But he refused to let Dib gloat about this later, which he knew the annoying human would surely do, so he did the only thing he knew he could to take the situation back into his control. He reached up and grabbed the base of his lekku, multiple shock-waves immediately seizing him.  
It was like a three-tier explosion through his body, starting at his lekku, then traveling down his spine to his lower half. His insides clutched at Dib's member, his hips rolling up against it. His testicles, which he could feel Dib rubbing up against from inside him, throbbed until he could feel the final burst of ecstasy overcome him. Translucent-pink fluids coated Dib's cock, and milky-pink seed shot all over his stomach.  
Dib's pulse beat throughout his body for a few intense seconds as he watched and -felt- Zim grip and convulse on him, writhing and rocking against him. His hands clutched the sides of Zim's narrow green hips and pushed in deep one last time before the waves of his lover's orgasm pulled his out of him. Zim thought he'd been sly, but Dib grinned to himself, because he knew the truth. He'd felt Zim start to lose control before he reached for his lekku, and he knew he was the true cause for the way the alien's body trembled with pleasure around him.  
For the next few moments they both went still, except for the heaving of their chests as they chased their breath. Absentmindedly, Zim nuzzled his head against Dib's collar for a moment. He felt deeply satisfied, and incredibly messy. That would normally send the neat-freak into a panic, and he did plan to take a good long cleaning session... But, definitely later. He felt too lazy and content to be bothered just yet.  
"Mmm..." The Irken practically purred, now in an uncommonly good mood. "That felt SO good..."  
Dib's grin stretched wider, and he kissed the top of Zim's head, near his left antennae. "Mm, yeah...?"  
Zim blinked, beginning to come to again, and embarrassed to realize what he'd just admitted. "Y-Yes..." He confirmed quietly, then added in his normal voice, "N-Now get off of me."  
Dib chuckled and reluctantly obeyed, withdrawing and rolling over next to Zim, and laying on his side. "I feel pretty amazing too..."  
"Y-Yeah?" Zim looked over at his pink-tinged face, then stubbornly looked away again. "I mean, of course you do..."  
His human laughed some more, then reached in and stole a kiss on the cheek. Zim growled and lightly smacked him away, but his skin tingled pleasantly from the kiss, and he didn't actually mind the disgusting affection... As long as no one else saw it.  
Dib kept his hands and everything else to himself after that, simply lying next to his lover. But he continued to glance at him under his half-closed eyelids, until Zim finally become paranoid and demanded, "W-What...?"  
Dib rolled his eyes then, grinning. "I love you, you stupid asshole alien."  
Said stupid alien asshole glared at him deeply, crossing his arms and turning over to his other side, his back facing Dib. "Ugh... I guess I'm dangerously fond of you too, you stupid, stinky human-beast..."  
Dib grinned and cuddled up with his backside, but Zim immediately pulled away this time, and got off of the bed entirely as the neat-freak in him finally got antsy about all the... Stickiness. Sex was REALLY fun, but it was also really... Ew. "Alright! Enough affection for now, Dib-love-slave! And get off my bed, I need to clean my sheets and everything else!"  
He could definitely understand what the alien was feeling - Zim had made an even bigger mess of him than Dib had, actually. But he was reluctant to get up just yet, and lazily folded his arms under his head. "Aw come on, can't we have a nice post-coitus nap?"  
"NO!" Zim stomped his foot and pointed at the door. "GO!"  
Dib pouted, still looking for a way to stall. "Hey - What happened to GIR? Is he broken? Can we fix him?"  
Zim finally gave pause for that. He blinked a few times, then he grinned. "Oh no, he's fine! I just turned him off for a while when I was in my cell, to get some peace and quiet, and think to myself for a while. See?"  
He walked over to the door and opened it, and Gir bounced in over his head and feet, his eyes bright cyan blue. "WHEE-HOO~!"  
The robot jumped on top of Zim's bed and then grabbed Dib by the cheeks, "HIYA DIB-MONKEY! Wanna see my pet SCORPIONS?!"  
GIR suddenly opened his head and half a dozen big, blue-glowing scorpions jumped out of him. Dib hollered and fell back off the bed, wrestling on the floor with the scorpions.  
"Ohh, that looks horrible!" Zim remarked idly as he put his rubbery pants back on. "I think they might be radioactive too!" Dib suddenly screamed and his thumb grew four times it's size, and glowed blue. "Yep, those're radioactive scorpions, alright! Must've nested in GIR's head while we were in that cell. Well, if you get the spork out of my room, I'll look around for the radioactive scorpion anti-venom. You know, once I'm done cleaning up."  
Dib grumbled as he stomped on the scorpions with his swollen, blue-glowing feet, the trudged out of the door with them.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
They made good time for the first few months, but eventually the ship informed them that it was starting to get low on a certain kind of oil it needed to operate. The ship had equipment that could drill for more, so Zim set the coordinates for the first planet that had enough. Unfortunately, that planet was exceptionally cold, and although they had just enough fuel to keep the ships contents from freezing, it was far from toasty.  
Up until this point, Zim had been going back and forth between keeping Dib at a distance like a stubborn jerk, before finally giving in and demanding attention from him. Despite Zim's insistence that sex was a horrible distraction, he still let himself be distracted by it at least once a week, sometimes twice. Dib didn't say anything about aloud, though he sometimes grinned about it to himself, but it really seemed like Zim was a lot more calm and agreeable the first few hours or days after one of their steamy sessions - Well, once he'd had a shower, anyways.  
So he finally agreed when Dib shyly suggested they share body heat with each other, though not without a brief 'hug-struggle' first - Dib could wait for Zim to come to him for intimacy, but when it came to affection, he was usually forced to make a fuss for it. But there was no pride in catching your death when a warm body was ready and willing to share it's vital energies, so the alien finally gave in.  
They made a small fort with their blankets just big enough for the two of them, and huddled together underneath them. Naturally, Zim took his seat on top of the throne, and since the 'throne' was Dib's lap, Dib didn't mind. He crossed his arms over the human's chest and laid his head on top of his arms, and had been lazily dozing away for a while. Dib let him get his full hour in before poking him in the side of his stomach. "Hey. Wake up."  
Zim ignored him at first, until Dib poked him a second time, then he groaned impatiently. "Whaaat."  
Dib wound his arms around his lower back, "I hate to be the one to say this, but we need to talk..."  
"Ehn?" Zim peered down at him, even though it was too dark to see. "What's this coming from your noise hole?"  
"Listen." Dib insisted, "It's something Orby told me way back. When we get back to Earth to get Gaz... I might have to stay there."  
Zim's eyes went wide, then he glared at Dib, "What are you talking about?"  
"My birth-planet, Earth..." Dib started slowly. "It's powerful, but also extremely fragile. Apparently four people are needed on Earth to keep it stable, and I was one of them. But for some reason, Gaz chose to take my place. That's why I was able to leave my galaxy to come with you. But when I get Orby back to Gaz... Unless Gaz has found a way to stabilize the planet some other way, I might have to stay on Earth..."  
Zim drew out a long, deep growl, "...You don't want to. Right? You'd rather stay with me and keep visiting places in space than stay on Earth, right? You know," He suddenly gave Dib a weird little grin, and stuck his tongue out at him. "Once you land on Earth again, you'll be dying to get out of there. After being on Irk for almost a year, I'm sure you won't be able to stand the smell of it!"  
Dib smirked back at him and shrugged. "Yeah, you're probably right. And yes, I want to stay with you. I still want to see my home-planet again too, but... Definitely only to visit, not to stay. I want to keep exploring everything, with you, and I'll do whatever I need to make that happen... Buuuut..."  
"I do not want to hear about your butts!" Zim snapped at him.  
"No, Zim, I need to say this." Dib insisted. "There's a chance that I might have to stay on Earth. Orby wanted Gaz, and I know why now, because she told me... Gaz is the only one who can achieve my mother's dreams, to destroy the Control Brain and free your people from it. And she needs you, because you're basically like a living computer virus to the Control Brain..."  
Zim shook his head stubbornly several times. "I don't care what your dead mother or your crazy, scary sister want me for! They can't have me if I can't have you!"  
Dib's eyes went wide, then he smiled broadly. "Not sure if Gaz is gonna give us a choice about that, but I know I definitely don't want to be anywhere you're not..."  
"Good, because you won't be! I demand you stay with Zim and be his love slave! Zim has spoken." He nodded seriously.  
Dib nodded back just as seriously. "Yes, my mighty conqueror~" He replied sweetly, which caused Zim to grin, excitement flashing in his eyes, before diving down and capturing Dib's lips, just as the human knew he would. He had learned - As long as Zim got what he wanted, he could be generous too. And if Dib really got on his hands and knees and begged, he could be convinced of all kinds of things.  
Zim hadn't been sure at first about a few of those things, but once he tried them, he found he really liked the way Dib called him, 'His god' - 'Oh my god, Zim', he'd said. The words had been delicious, at least, even if the actual taste on his tongue was not as palatable...  
They kissed in the darkness of their makeshift fort for several moments, until Zim finally got bored of toying with his captive. Then he laid his head down on Dib's chest, purring as the human began to very lightly pet his lekku. Dib had found out recently that if he kept the touches airy, it caused pleasant sensations for the alien without driving him completely crazy.  
Well, usually. From the way Zim was starting to squirm, Dib realized that he probably hadn't gone light enough. The alien sat up again and peered down at Dib, before leaning down close to his face as he whispered. "But... If you absolutely have to stay on Earth... Then I think we should make the most of our time in a stink-free environment, because I don't want to be anywhere you're not, either..."  
True, Zim did not wish to stay on Earth, but if the deciding factor was up to the Gaz-beast... Zim didn't like to admit when he didn't have a choice with something, and even now he wasn't about to admit it out loud, but he had always sensed how strong that strange female was, and knew it was the wisest and safest decision not to cross her.  
Dib smirked back up at him and nodded obediently. Zim grinned like a cat about to pounce on a very large mouse, and hissed like a snake as he leaned down, "Give to Zim..."  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
However, a couple of months later, after finally mining enough fuel from the freezing planet, Zim was beginning to rethink his words. "Actually, you know what would be a better idea? Lets just give Gaz her stupid Orby-thingy real quick so you don't die, and then get the heck outta there! We'll find some other half-decent planet to live on and be hobos for the rest of our lives!"  
Dib stared at him for a second, then raised a doubtful eyebrow. "But... I don't wanna be a hobo. Also, I wanna know why Gaz put me up to all this, and what her plan is concerning Irk, and with you. Orby said that you're crucial to Gaz's plans, so I don't think she's gonna let us go, just like that..."  
Zim argued, "Oh come on! I know Gaz is scary-strong, but surely we could at least run from her! I don't want to stay on Earth OR go back to Irk, after how those jerks treated me..."  
Dib frowned as his friend looked away from him sadly. "I don't know, buddy. I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. But I promise I won't just let her do anything you don't want her to, and we'll run if we have to. I'd like to hope my sister would give me an explanation after everything I've been through, but if she's just gonna keep stringing me along like she has so far, I'm not gonna put up with it either."  
Zim sighed, clearly still annoyed, but knowing nothing could be done for it, for now. Dib felt guilty for putting his best friend into a bad mood, and tried to think of a way to cheer him up. It only took him about two seconds to notice something Zim might like to hear, so he mentioned it, "Hey Zim - Have you gotten taller?"  
Zim's eyes went wide. "Eh?!" Now that the Dib mentioned it, it had been a surprisingly long time since Zim last measured himself, which he usually did semi-regularly. The last time he checked was back when Yoogli was still on board, and he had still been the same five feet, four and one-quarter inches then that he'd been when he left Earth.  
He immediately rushed over to the ship's console and demanded, "Computer! What is my current height status? Have I grown since the last update?"  
The computer scanned Zim's form and then immediately replied, "Affirmative. Congratulations, you have grown two and a half inches since your last update. You are now five feet, six and three-quarters inches tall. You are now tall enough to qualify for the Taller Irkens Club. Would you like to submit an application?"  
Zim stared at the screen for a couple of seconds, then slowly shook his head. "No, of course not. I'm banished, remember..."  
Dib raised an eyebrow, "Taller Irkens Club?"  
Zim growled back at him impatiently, "Forget it, Dib-monkey. It doesn't mean anything for me now. IF I was still part of the Irken Empire, it would have meant a considerable promotion, and all kinds of new perks and privileges that shorter Irkens are not allowed..."  
"Like what?" Dib pressed on, just as curious about Neo-Irken culture as he'd been about the Natives.  
"Well, heh," Zim suddenly grinned, and scratched his cheek bashfully. "Actually, being approved for sex is one. Maybe that's why I've been craving it lately, because I reached this new height class..."  
"Incorrect." Orby, who had been ignoring their existence and all their weird displays of 'affection' for a while, suddenly interrupted the Irken. "You haven't been craving sex because you reached your new height class. You reached your new height class because you've been craving sex, and having it. Outside the walls, Irkens rarely get much taller than you presently are, and although almost half the Neo-Irkens have considerable hybrid DNA and almost all Neo-Irkens have at least some, Zim's DNA is closer to a Native Irken's than not. And Natives reach their final growth spurt when they become sexually active. The act releases a special hormone that isn't present in Native Irkens until after their first mating experience. The Control Brain intentionally keeps most Irkens from achieving this height by making sex illegal until this height is reached."  
Dib snapped his fingers as the realization hit him, "It's a catch-22 unless you break the laws!"  
Orby rolled up and down as if nodding, and continued, "Exactly. So, Zim really ought to take your compliments about his height gracefully, since he wouldn't have achieved it without you, and from the sounds of it he's been having plenty of fun achieving it..."  
Both of the boys blushed bright red. Zim hissed and stuck his tongue out at the machine, until it protruded a little buzzsaw back at him. Then he slurped his tongue back in and glared as Dib laughed at the both of them.  
Zim suddenly grinned though, "Wait - Does that mean the more we do it, the taller I'll get?"  
"No." Orby replied right away, much to Dib's visible relief - Zim was already insatiable enough. "But you do have the DNA of Tallest Red in you. You seem to have taken after your maternal unit Zirra in height, and this was as tall as she ever got. I met her once, you know. But you have to have inherited your insanity from Red, because Zirra was nowhere near as crazy as either of you. So who knows, maybe you'll get just a little bit taller eventually, if you got enough of his DNA."  
Zim brightened up considerably after that, and put his hands on his hips proudly. "Victory for ZIM~!"  
Dib rolled his eyes and looked back out to space, reading the status updates on the computer screen. They'd be arriving on Earth with very little time to spare after the delays, but as long as they didn't allow for more, they would get there on time. Dib just hoped everything would start making sense by then.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
The Dual Ship eventually arrived, only a little over two days left to spare on Dib's time limit clock when they passed through the atmosphere. But Orby refused to turn it off until it was physically passed over into Gaz's hands, which made Dib break out into a slight sweat. If he was REALLY lucky, Gaz would still be living at their childhood home. But the chances of that weren't the greatest. She could easily be anywhere on the entire planet, and if he didn't find her in time...  
Well, he tried not to think too much about that. He asked Zim if he could land the ship, which ended in a scuffle because Zim didn't want to cooperate, but eventually Dib ended the fight by sitting on Zim as he set the coordinates.  
He didn't land the ship in Zim's old space, or anywhere near his childhood home - Instead he chose to park it on the old clifftop overlooking the city, where he remembered Gaz and him once having a crazy adventure. Man, where had Gaz even found those beaver suits...?  
He didn't really have time to dwell on that, or for his sentimentality, but he did anyways. It's not like he had any other clue where to find her, so he finally got off of Zim once he'd parked the ship, and went outside. Once free, Zim tackled Dib from behind, punching on his back and ripping out handfuls of grass and dirt off the ground and throwing it at Dib's head.  
They were about to get into another brief fight over it when suddenly a very strange man came walking up the remote path towards them. Dib threw Zim off of him and gasped sharply before getting up to his feet, staring wide-eyed at the man. He didn't actually -look- that imposing - He was quite a bit shorter than Dib, and only a few inches taller than Zim. He was almost as bizarrely skinny as the alien though, and yet somehow, for some reason Dib couldn't explain, his face struck him with absolute terror. He had no idea why, but this man -really- gave him the creeps, big time.  
He began to speak to him, his voice a low, almost apathetic rumble, "Are you Dib Membrane?"  
Dib blinked owlishly and his mouth briefly fell open, "Wha-How do you know who I am? Who are YOU?"  
The man let out an irritated sigh and rolled his eyes, "The name's Johnny C. You sister Gaz sent me to come get you and bring you to her."  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


	18. Chapter 18

The Crossroads of Fate  
It was All Hallow's Eve. Johnny, the homicidal maniac, stood on that familiar old hill, that hill where he'd once stood with Devi, years ago. Currently he was standing there with some weird, almost freakishly tall dude and what was clearly an alien, of the short and green variety. It seemed to be either reptilian or insectoid, and had big red eyes and antennae. It WAS Halloween, but that was clearly a real alien...  
It had to be them. The ones Gaz had sent him for.  
Best to make sure though. "Are you Dib Membrane?"  
Dib's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open, "Wha-Hey! How do you know who I am? Who are YOU?"  
Johnny rolled his eyes and let out an irritated sigh - He was no damn delivery boy, but he reminded himself for the hundreth time since having the misfortune of meeting his old best friend's terrifying new wife: He was doing it for Squee. For Todd. For Devi. And for his own freedom... "The name's Johnny C. Your sister Gaz sent me to come get you and bring you to her."  
Dib was caught between relief at now knowing where to find Gaz, and the terror of having to actually go to her, accompanied by this weird-looking guy. But he wasn't about to wuss out either, especially not in front of Zim, and strange enough as it was, the guy actually seemed legit. If Gaz was going to send anyone to get him, who else would it be but an incredibly weird, scary-looking guy? "Alright, I guess... Hey, it's Halloween tonight, isn't it? Guess that means you don't have to use a disguise at all tonight if you don't want to, Zim." The tall dork said to the shorter green dork.  
Zim scoffed back at him, "Nonsense! I must be prepared for the possibility, however SLIM, that the humans evolved a brain since we left and might suspect me!" With that, the green dork scurried back to his ship, and about two minutes later, emerged from it wearing his stupid human contacts and wig... And also a big, padded bear suit.  
Dib stared at him for a second, then gave him a thumbs up. "You look great, buddy."  
"Shut up, Dib, I know it!" Zim snapped back at him, "Now what about Orby?"  
The orb promptly announced, "Behold my crazy neat cloaking technology!" Then it used a hologram to appear like a purple ball with green spots. "Now I am a perfectly normal Vurp Ball!"  
Dib raised an eyebrow and quirked a smile. "That looks like a great Vurp Ball, Orby. Whatever that is. But I think it might be better to go with orange and black stripes."  
"Oh, a Zurp Ball?" The orb seemed to shrug and then changed its appearance to that of a normal basketball.  
Dib nodded in approval. "Perfect! Just let me hold you under my arm while we're around humans. Alright then. I think we're ready to go-"  
Dib hadn't quite finished that sentence when the scary, skinny man turned and began walking down the hill, apparently not that fond of his task. At first Dib simply followed him in silence, but it began to nag at him - Why did Gaz send this guy? Who was he? He had a strong hunch, with how antisocial the guy was acting and how he immediately gave him the creeps. When he could no longer bear it, he finally hesitantly piped up, "H-Hey, Johnny C, was it? What exactly is your relationship to my sister? Are you, like, her boyfriend...?"  
Johnny immediately turned and gave him a grimace of disgust, "EW. NO!" He snarled back, causing Dib to stop in his tracks and watch him wearily as he went on, "FIRST of all, I detest 'romance' and all that puke and drivel, and would never participate. Secondly, she's with my friend Squeegee, not me! And frankly, I don't get what he sees in her, except that she's crazy strong. And just plain crazy. Or so sane it's crazy. I can't really tell..."  
"Hey, well, that's two of us." Dib replied, trying to use humor to pacify the maniac. He didn't even want to know about this 'Squeegee' guy.  
Dib's humor ploy worked, barely, but it worked. Johnny just rolled his eyes and turned his back on them again, and kept on trudging down the road. "Just shut up and follow me."  
"Wait, hold on." Zim piped up, "Are you SURE we can't just hand Orby off to this guy to take to Gaz, and just get out of here?"  
Johnny turned again and snarled, "I'm NO one's delivery boy, DAMN IT!" He was clearly at the end of his wits. It was one thing to be bossed around by a girl much younger than him, but he wasn't about to be bossed around by a fucking alien in a bear suit!  
Dib glared at Zim for mouthing off, and was about to try and undo the damage, but Orby beeped for their attention first, and luckily for them Johnny was easily distracted by the talking basketball. "You theoretically COULD do that, BUT, Gaz would be most displeased by you not coming to see her yourself. She would very likely come after you."  
Zim groaned audibly, but Dib spoke over him, "Come on Zim, quit being a drama queen about it. I know Gaz is the scariest person in this and most other universes, but she's still my sister, and I'm sure she'll be at least a little thankful that we brought Orby for her. Right Orby?" He looked over to his machine-mom with a nervous smile.  
"It's more probable than not." She vaguely 'confirmed'.  
"See?" Dib went on as if it was a sure bet. "I know she's scary Zim, but listen... There's another side of Gaz..."  
Zim raised a brow at that, and crossed his arms petulantly as Dib continued, "It's hard to explain, but... Once, a few years ago, when I was seventeen and Gaz was six... Uh, I mean, also seventeen." He kept forgetting she wasn't really his 'little' sister after all. "I caught her out in our backyard, smoking a cigarette. I told her I was gonna tell Dad if she didn't stop. Of course, I was scared OF her, but I was more scared FOR her. Cigarettes are literally poison, and I knew she already knew that. I was worried she might be depressed about something, or something..."  
Dib awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, "I knew I couldn't get into her personal business, but I could at least discourage the unnecessary bad habit. So I told her to put out the cigarette and told her not to let me catch her smoking one again. At first she looked at me as if she wanted to hit me..." Years later, Dib still shuddered remembering that look. "But then... She grabbed the cigarette, and sucked it down to the filter in one go. Then she walked up to me, face to face. I knew she was going to blow the smoke at me. But when she finally did... There was no smoke. The air she blew on my face, it was just pure air! There wasn't even a HINT of cigarette on her breath, hell, it was even a little minty!"  
Zim was starting to look confused, and therefore impatient, but Dib continued one last time as he finished up his tale, "She told me 'Chill out, Dib', and then she... She smiled. You know Gaz, she doesn't smile much, and this was the weirdest smile I'd ever seen. It was like, she was actually, genuinely -happy- that I'd told her off about the cigarettes... What I'm basically trying to say, is that I know Gaz is some kind of super dark, crazy powerful demon-master, but there's also a side of her that is capable of the exact opposite of that... I have to know if I'm right. And if I'm wrong, we'll get the hell outta Earth, ASAP."  
Zim sighed and rolled his eyes. He couldn't deny, at least to himself, that in addition to the terror, he also felt more than a bit of curiosity about the Gaz-beast's plans. "Oh fine... But if she gets violent, I'm leaving you behind to deal with her."  
Dib smiled and nodded, but before he could quip back, Johnny interrupted with a deep growl, "ENOUGH of the chit-chat already! What is this, a cheerleader's slumber party?! Either follow me or don't!"  
The maniac began stomping down the hill once again, and wisely, the intergalactic duo followed after him without another word.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Gaz arrived at the bottom level of Johnny's house that night at eleven-forty-seven. The Last Demon General Agaliarept was waiting for her right in the middle of the room, just as she'd known he would be. When he came after her, she pretended to put up a fight against him, but only until he called forth Pepito. Once the Puppet Prince was in sight, she instantly slayed his final demon general right in front of him, by disappearing and then reappearing behind Agaliarept, and stabbing him through the heart with a knife she'd seemingly picked up from one of Johnny's many piles.  
Pepito roared with supreme rage at the sudden slaughter, and his arms became black tendrils that shot out as fast as a bolt of lightning and wrapped around Gaz's arms, pinning her against the furthest back wall. Though it was only because she was letting him, of course. She put up a struggle at first for show, then let the horned twerp assume he had bested her as he began to burn her skin with poison in the sludge, pretending to briefly cry out in agony.  
Todd entered the room just as Pepito's sludgy arms detached, leaving behind sticky, hissing poison-shackles, which quickly hardened around Gaz's wrists and forearms against the wall, her pose almost like a mockery of the crucifix. The Antichrist grinned like the devil he was as his friend came over to him, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek. Pepito quickly turned his face and caught Todd's lips instead, and although Gaz knew his stomach was churning just as much as hers was, she made no mention of it.  
When Pepito finally pulled away, he was grinning again, and he motioned over to Gaz's 'helpless' form. "Take a look at this, amigo. I think she's gotten fatter since you broke up! Looks like you dodged a bullet!"  
"Amazing, Pepito! Congratulations!" Todd goaded his ego in the most heartfelt tone he could manage. And just as Gaz had reminded him to do earlier, he also sneered back at her, "You know what they say about the difference between a slut and a bitch, right Pepito? A slut will fuck anyone, and a bitch will fuck anyone but you. Looks like Gaz is a bit of both."  
Pepito roared again, this time with laughter. " AHA! Good one, amigo! You're right, she's definitely more of a bitch, but it looks like she's a dumb one too. Never heard of birth control, bitch?"  
Todd quickly piped up, "You do know how I feel about hurting children though, Pepito..." It was the one vital bit of his humanity he was allowed to keep around the Antichrist, the part of him that the devil had always known he could never change. All the same, Todd finally had accepted that he could never change who Pepito really was either...  
Pepito sighed and tapped his bottom lip with a claw-tipped finger. "Yes, I know, mi amore..." Suddenly he snapped his fingers and grinned. "And I've got a better idea anyways! Hehe..."  
The Antichrist procured a surgical scalpel from somewhere in his leather long-coat, and advanced across the room towards his witchy foe. "Gaz, I'm afraid I cannot and -will- not show you any mercy after killing my old generals. However, I must admit, I am impressed by your valiant but ultimately futile attempt to seize the eons-old powers of Diablo, the power that will soon be rightfully inherited by ME."  
He stopped just a few steps away from her, itching to slice and stab her with the scalpel, but resisting to draw out and savor the moment longer. "And I must go on to admit, because I do respect you even though I also truly hate you, that you've done me more of a service than not. To have been beaten by such a simple, albeit clever, little witch... Tut, tut. They clearly weren't worth keeping around. Todd will be a fine replacement, as will the little beast in your belly. Don't worry, mamacita. We'll take good care of your crotch dumpling, once I've carved it out of you..."  
Gaz didn't have to pretend to be affronted by Pepito's claim, and she spat down at him, otherwise wordless. The spittle hit his cheek with a burning hiss, and with a deep snarl, he jammed the scalpel into Gaz's thigh. She bit down on her tongue and refused to give him a single sound besides her almost even breathing, her eyes staring right into his.  
"Ooh, you're good~" Pepito purred back at her, staring back and licking his grinning lips. "No, you're REALLY damn good!" He went on, as she still barely grunted when he jiggled the scalpel a bit closer to the bone. "Almost -completely- inhuman..." He went on in a growl, "But not -quite-..." She finally let him see what he wanted, letting out another small cry and causing her disguise to flicker, revealing her true self. With her pale green skin seeming a darker shade in the barely-lit basement, and her natural black hair and lekku hanging down, looking defeated but defiant - She truly looked like a Wicked Witch.  
He grinned and finally took back the blade, and waved it around, carelessly letting the blood drop onto his gloved hands as he chided her. "You had to know you'd never stand a chance, once you got to me and my father. Did you really think that just because you picked off the underlings, you could take on the MASTERS of DARKNESS?"  
Gaz slowly looked up at him with the smallest of smiles. "You know... For a second there? Yeah, I kinda did..." She replied, the simplicity of her mockery stinging even more.  
Pepito grit his sharpened teeth into a forced grin and hissed back at her, "I -know- you're lying, -Gazlene-!" He got her to finally grimace back at him in annoyance for using her full name. "That's why you waited so long to get here tonight! I know you knew that this night was the only one that you could even hope to make an attempt at a coup. But you waited until almost the very last second to come! That doesn't seem like someone who is truly confident in their mission to me, Gazzy~ You know what it sounds like to me?"  
He grabbed her chin, even though she was already staring right at him. "It sounds like a scared little girl who wanted to put off mommy's chores until the very last second! Oh, I know, you felt like you owed her. She gave you life and you gave her death. But I know you knew, all along, this thing your mother asked you to do... It was impossible from the start."  
Gaz gazed back at him, pretended to be saddened by his words, even managing to conjure a couple of false tears to her eyes. "I wanted to believe that she wouldn't have asked me to do it unless she was sure I could... Now I know..." She trailed off, not finishing that sentence.  
Pepito smirked and then grinned at her, "Yes... Tell me..."  
Todd stayed perfectly, absolutely still, hands in his pockets, watching the two. Waiting.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Dib didn't like the looks of the creep leading the way, and he liked it even less when they finally arrived at their destination. It looked like a normal suburban house on the outside, but really that was what made it even more odd. The gothic-looking man just didn't seem like the type who would have a pastel-painted house and a garden full of flowers.  
"Uh... Is this your place...?" Dib asked hesitantly, just to make sure they weren't about to invade someone's home.  
"Kinda." Johnny answered vaguely before opening the door and letting himself in.  
Hesitantly Dib followed after him. He already didn't like the look of things from the start, and when the eerie stranger revealed that they had to descend into a basement, his apprehension doubled. When he -then- revealed yet -another- hidden basement within that basement, Dib had to stop and inquire, "Wait, how many of these things do we have to go down...?"  
"A LOT." Johnny snarled back immediately, getting edgy and impatient. "Your sister is at the very bottom and there's a LOT of stairs and ladders before you get to the bottom, OKAY? And LUCKILY for YOU, my good friend Todd cleaned most of this place up really well, so it's not nearly as bad as it could have been! GO ON, take a good whiff! Smells like pine and lemony freshness, doesn't it?! It USED to smell like, LIKE-FFFILTH! Pure DEATH! ROT and STINK! So why don't you just focus on that, and shut the FUCK up for the rest of the trip down, and I'll KINDLY resist the urge to STAB YOU?" By the end of this tirade the maniac's usual deep timbre of voice was turning into a very uncomposed and unmanly-sounding shriek.  
Dib raised an eyebrow and took a step back from the spit flying from the other man's mouth, "O...Kay..." He replied slowly and very quietly.  
Zim quipped, "Your sister sure does keep interesting company!"  
Johnny twitched an eye at the alien, "That goes for you too, E.T. In fact it goes even more for you, since I'm pretty interested to know what your insides look like."  
"See, it's not just me..." Dib piped up quietly to his boyfriend with a smirk.  
Zim glared at Dib briefly before unleashing his spider legs and jabbing them defensively in the maniac's direction, "I would NOT try it, human scum."  
Johnny regarded the spider legs with interest, respect, and more than a bit of envy. "Touche, green-thing. But let's go already, NOW. Your sister told me to get you guys to the bottom basement at a VERY specific time, and if I don't she'll doom us for all eternity. Seriously dude, I AM one of the scariest things in existence, and your sister STILL fucking scares me, so let's GO..."  
Dib couldn't argue with that, so he didn't, and followed him down, down, down...  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Gaz gazed into Pepito's eyes, the eyes of the devil's puppet. Her soul locked onto his. She saw every single evil thing in him that he was so sure she could never fathom, and regarded it all as immature and pathetic. But, in her eyes and on her face, she feigned the confusion and shock that the demon so craved to see. "I wanted to be the one who could change everything..." She continued to lead him, but vaguely.  
Pepito, however, was just starting to get tired of her game. It was getting late, and he wanted her dead before midnight. So he cut her off curtly, "And now you know just how ridiculous that was! You, a single mortal, a weak little whore-witch, against Diablo, lord of this damned Earth for all time?! You will now DIE for your insolence!"  
His gloating, however, lasted just a moment too long. Gaz did not reveal the smirk on her face, but she felt it inside of her as she sensed her kin had finally stepped over the threshold. It was time.  
She didn't even have to signal Todd in any way. He knew exactly when to act, and he did so without either the slightest bit of hesitation, or a single hint of what he was about to do. He was perfectly still until the second Pepito announced she would die, and began to pull back the scalpel to stab her. Then, Todd finally struck, pulling back his own fist and socking him right upside the face from behind, Pepito never saw it coming, and to Diablo's horror, neither had he, not until the second the blow had hit.  
Todd briefly grinned maniacally at this rare violence, suppressed for so long. He could finally strike back at the thing responsible for the horrors of his youth and the stagnation of his life thusfar, and you better believe he took advantage of it. The blow hit so hard, Todd knew he had broken at least one of his fingers, but he didn't care about the pain at all. Finally getting back at the massive son of a bitch that was ruining the Earth and mankind was too sweet and too rare a pleasure to be marred by a little sting.  
Pepito flew to the ground, and Gaz looked up to see Dib, who had just descended the last stairway and stepped into the bottom level, his no-longer-bespectacled eyes going wide at the sight of it all. She quickly barked at her clueless brother, "DIB! HELP -TODD-! The one who -DOESN'T- have HORNS!" And just after saying that, she disappeared.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
Dib almost couldn't believe how many levels they'd had to descend. He counted them all in silence in his head, and was amazed at how long he had to keep counting. Most of the rooms and hallways they had to go through were clean enough and smelled of new paint and cleaning products, but when he got to the sixtieth level, it started to smell a little and then a lot less fresh, and strange and scary stains started to appear on the walls and floors. Zim started gagging and pulled out a gasmask from his PAK to avoid the stench and germs. Dib pulled his shirt over his nose.  
Finally, when he'd just counted off sixty-five in his head, Johnny led them to a door at the end of a hallway that led to a stairway. Before opening the door, the maniac spoke for the first time since his last warning, and very quietly announced, "This is the last one..."  
As he walked down the stairs, ahead of everyone, Dib realized that the last level was just one huge room. It was barely lit only by a few fireballs floating around the edges, but he could see clearly that just as he walked in, one man had just socked the shit out of another one - And man was that second dude ugly!  
Just beyond them, Dib gasped sharply to realize Gaz was suspended against the wall. He recognized her by her face and her strange, powerful aura alone, because nearly everything else about her he'd ever remembered was different. Her skin was what looked like an olive green in the dim light, and her hair was pure jet black, a shade he could barely remember from their earliest youth, before she started dyeing it. Her leg was bleeding, and good god either she had a massive abdominal tumor, or she was very, very pregnant. But before he could begin to worry about any of that or which possibility was worse, Gaz had snapped at him, "DIB! HELP -TODD-!" Wait, which one was- "The one who -DOESN'T- have HORNS!" Ah.  
In the next instant, Gaz had disappeared into thin air, and Dib only hesitated for half a second before jumping to her command. Todd had immediately followed Pepito to the spot where his body had landed. The Antichrist looked up at him in utter shock of his betrayal, the deepest of all pains in his eyes at his looked up at his former friend and whispered, "Why...?"  
Todd stared coldly back without answering. Gaz had already warned him of this trickery. It wouldn't last. Soon he would get impatient and then he would get angry. Todd had realized long before this, it wasn't just the friend he thought he had in Pepito that had never existed. In a way, Pepito himself never truly had either, and still didn't. This ultimately evil and pathetic creature begging him for the love and mercy that it would then use to damn him and the rest of the world - Todd could still -almost- feel sorry for the little puppet, except for how wickedly it was purposed. For his own sake and that of everyone else, he couldn't allow himself to show clemency to this evil being. So evil, Gaz had finally told him the night before, that it would use a child's stuffed bear to manipulate it with a mocking imitation of protection and safety, and then burn it right in front of that child's eyes... Evil like that -needed- to be destroyed. You couldn't afford to feel sorry for it.  
Pepito wasn't Pepito. Pepito was Diablo, and Diablo was his living nightmare. Diablo was his parent's hatred and neglect. Diablo was the demons and delusions, the disruption of almost all of his dreams. Diablo was Shmee, telling him right to his face how fucked up his life was, pretending to sympathize and then laughing about it behind his back. Diablo was the sick, twisted cartoonist in charge of his life, drawing horrors into his mind. Well now it was time for that fucker to choke on his pen.  
So in fact, he knew that it wasn't actually Pepito that he was about to face, but Diablo. Little ol' Todd Casil was about to face the devil himself to help his girlfriend save the world. This was better than any story he could have come up with, but it was also a whole lot scarier. Even though he tried to remain perfectly stoic in the face of evil, Todd couldn't deny that a shiver went down his spine when 'Pepito' began to snarl at his continued silence.  
"This is the path you're going to choose?! FINE!" The demon spat at him with fury before his body rose off the floor, propelled by Diablo's dark magic. "YOU CAN DIE WITH YOUR WHORE, YOU TRAITOR!"  
Todd almost froze with fear as Pepito's face contorted and turned ashen, and his eyes turned into black empty cavities, then burned with hellfire. But then almost out of nowhere, a bolt of lightning struck the ugly puppet right in the face, sending it sprawling to the floor once again. Todd looked back in shock to see a very tall and strong-looking man, surrounded by lightning, with the weirdest zig-zag shaped hair scythe-thing coming out of his head, which seemed to be where the electricity was coming from. "HEY! Don't you call my SISTER a whore! HYAH-!" The imposing man cried before unleashing another row of lightning bolts at the demon.  
Suddenly, Todd didn't feel worried at all about facing Pepito Diablo, with a 'human' lightning rod on his side, and he pounced on the Antichrist's fallen form once more, beating his fists down on his face and chest without mercy.  
A large black tendril suddenly rose out of the floor and tried to snatch them, but Gaz just as suddenly reappeared in front of it, now with Devi in tow. Gaz then promptly disappeared again, but left Devi, who had two very large and very sharp knives in her hands. She swung her arms out gracefully, slicing the demon tendril with the same grace that she used when swiping brushes across a canvas. The knives apparently were not normal kitchen knives either, or at least not anymore. Gaz must have blessed them, because they hissed like acid when they made contact with the demon tendril and reduced it to a formless blob of slime, which would soon after dissolve into harmless dust when it hit the floor.  
More tendrils popped up to try and take Todd and Dib, but Devi fought them off with swift slices and slashes, soon joined by Johnny, who ripped and tore the tendrils apart with hooks. Neither of them spoke or even looked at each other, completely distracted by the constant reappearing tentacles that kept trying to kill them all.  
While all this was going on, Zim sat on the stairway, watching everything transpire in shocked silence and confusion. That is, until a transparent human-figure suddenly appeared sitting next to him, and inquired, "Sorry, I don't mean to bother you, sir. But I couldn't help but notice that, even though you're in a bear suit for some reason, you're clearly an alien..."  
"Eh?" Zim barely flicked his eyes over at the weird being in annoyance. "So what? Aren't you one of those 'ghost'-things Dib's always chasing around?"  
"Oh. Well, yeah." The specter admitted sheepishly. "The name's Edgar, by the way. I've just never seen an alien before. Anyways, aren't you going to help your friends?"  
"Nah." Zim replied with immediate disinterest, procuring a licky-stick snack from his PAK as he dully watched the humans and demons unleashing carnage upon each other. "Only one of them is actually my friend, and I still like seeing him get beat up sometimes. Anyways, this seems like a human problem, so I'm not getting involved. I'm sure they can handle it. Lets watch, shall we?"  
Back in the possessed room, Gaz had reappeared again, opposite of where Dib and Todd were beating Pepito senseless. But she again disappeared just as a tendril tried to catch her. She repeated this bait and switch move dozens of times in dozens of spots in the room, constantly appearing and disappearing. Finally Diablo became beyond frustrated with her game, and the horribly frightening true visage of the demon himself, with his monstrous skull and his huge, piercing eyes, finally appeared in the middle of the room, roaring, "ENOUGH! Either face me or FLEE, little girl! What is it going to be?!"  
Just as soon as the boom of his demonic voice stopped echoing throughout the room, Gaz appeared 'obediently' in front of him with a smirk on her face. A solitary second passed between them where neither moved, just stared. Gaz didn't shiver even once at the sight of the disgusting demon, his alien features and the noxious miasma of demon aura radiating off of him. Likewise, Diablo regarded her as nothing more than a bug about to be squashed, and was briefly wondering as he watched her, if he ought to ask her for her last words, or just kill her and get it over with. He was just beginning to lean towards the latter option, when Gaz suddenly spoke up for herself. "Earth and spirit, through I, reborn anew. I now claim the right to pass judgment over you."  
Diablo's eyes went wide and a shiver struck him. Time froze, as well as everything else. He realized very abruptly, a second too late, that the fight was over before it even began, but he still stubbornly refused to admit it until the bitter end. Suddenly the world quaked violently into motion once more, knocking the devil to his knees for the first time in his entire existence. A wave of rare panic came over the demon, and he let out a rabid roar, like the sound of a dangerous beast when cornered. Ink-like demonic creatures, some that looked like hound-headed humanoids, some like reptiles or insects or other impossible monsters, began to leak out of the wall, smelling like putrid blood.  
Gaz disappeared and reappeared a few times more, procuring a strange black scythe sometime in between and flinging it at the open space, cutting two dark rips in the fabric of their dimension and letting a few inky-creatures of her own drip out before sealing the rips with alternating swings of her scythe, which was a reflective silver opposite of the coal-colored side. Her demons obediently kept Diablo's at bay by consuming and absorbing them, all the while her voice echoed throughout the room, "You've damned innocents who did nothing wrong or right, just to appeal to your twisted sense of delight. Now, through you, I was born - To mend all that which you have torn."  
Dib glanced back at Gaz with wide eyes - Todd really didn't need all that much help from him, in fact, Dib felt safer himself backing off and letting the kid go berserk. He obviously had issues with the horned-dude, whose face was beginning to resemble a crushed purple grape, and was yelling at him as he pummeled his body, "RR, THIS IS FOR MY MOM! AND MY DAD! AND FOR -ME-!" But that didn't really hold Dib's interest, he was focused on his sister and her battle instead.  
Dib had always known she was powerful... But damn. This was something else. His sister was actually fighting the Devil, the darkest demon on planet Earth. Well, until Gaz showed up apparently. She had begun disappearing and reappearing again, faster than ever and dangerously close to the demon, who was constantly trying to snatch her out of mid-air, and constantly failing. Each time she reappeared mockingly close to Diablo, she recited part of her spell-poem to him, "Your time has passed, and it was far too long. No soul will miss you when you're gone. I am here to forever seal you away. For your offensive existence you shall finally pay. Then my hands shall be washed clean, and your victims will finally peacefully dream..."  
"NEVER!" Diablo shrieked so loud that nearly everyone with ears had to briefly cover them, except for Gaz, who stood stoic in the wake of his wrath. She stood right in front of the demon now, and he of course lunged for her, but he was propelled away from her body like an anti-magnet. His claws desperately tried to inch closer to her skin in mid-air, but he couldn't come any closer than a foot of her.  
She smirked up at him as he magically transformed his head into a crocodile-like snout and jaw, trying to bite her head off and unable to do anything but comically gnaw at the space around it, and went on calmly while he did so, "I fear nothing about you, for my purpose is greater. I don't exist simply to be your slayer. Beyond the stars is where my destiny lies in wait, beneath the stars I leave the greatest gift in my wake..."  
She rubbed her hands around her stomach, and then placed her palms upwards. Diablo was suddenly being pushed back from Gaz's form, and then once he was a few feet away from her, she stretched out her arms and hands and his freakishly tall and alien-like form began to float up, his limbs mostly still but occasionally jerking. The demon tried to resist the magic that was suspending his body and repelling his dark, violent magic, which raged inside of him like lightning crashing down into an endless ocean, but he just couldn't bring it forth to blast the unearthly wench to kingdom come!  
Using her immense magic, she then continued to keep him at bay as she also opened the final basement door in the middle of the floor. First her inky creatures dragged the rest of Diablo's demons down into the pit, which reeked of the uncountable number of bodies below. Then Gaz floated the struggling demon lord to the hole in the ground, and began to lower him into it.  
When his legs had been submerged but his upper body was still above the hole, he thrashed out desperately, clawing at the floor, trying to get out. Gaz watched him calmly, poking him in his big, weird head with the butt-end of her scythe, pushing him back into the hole. She continued in a voice that was still calm but also stern and tense, "No longer will your darkness spread like a plague. No longer will this world be ruled by your hate. No longer shall the blameless be tortured by your wrath... No longer..."  
Diablo suddenly made a mad magical leap at her, and she hesitated for just a second, gritting her teeth to push him back one final time before pressing forward, "No longer shall innocent lives be taken... I'LL GIVE THEM BACK-!" She cried out, as if heaving off a weight from her shoulders that would have crushed anyone else, then raised her scythe above Diablo's head, and brought it down upon his head, splitting it right down the middle. A hellish red coal-like glow emerged from the wound as the demon again shrieked loud enough to almost reach the surface. Almost, but not quite.  
With that devastating blow, Diablo lost his grip and fell into the pit, which was suddenly much deeper than it had been before. It was, in fact, now bottomless. The floorboards underneath their feet briefly lit up in a gold light with strange symbols and runes, which circled around the hole to the pit. Her breath barely uneven, Gaz made a motion towards them but did not take her eyes away from the abyss. "Todd. Bring me the Puppet."  
At the sound of her voice making this demand of him, Todd finally and immediately stopped punching Pepito's badly bruised body, and got off of him. He didn't even bother trying to heft the demon to his feet, instead he simply grabbed his wrist and dragged the limp body behind him. Pepito weakly tried to beg him, but there wasn't much he could manage to say through a mouth that was entirely broken. Todd wasn't listening anyways. Any outsider would think that Todd was truly the monster in this moment, but he couldn't bring himself to care about that. This had to be done, and if he had to be the one to do it, if he was the only one who could, then so be it.  
When he was in range, Gaz mumbled, "Throw him in..."  
"NO, TODD, NO-!" Pepito began to scream just before Todd literally threw him by the wrist, jerking it so hard he broke it, into the hole.  
But amazingly, Pepito somehow still managed to grab the edge of the floor with his one good arm and caught himself before he dropped into the nothingness, and Todd soon saw why when he began to pull his head up. His face was no longer even vaguely human, but a frighteningly hellish fusion of some kind of reptilian goat and a praying mantis. Black sludge was leaking from every orifice, yet he spoke almost clearly, albeit demonically, through the sludgy vomit leaking from his mouth and down his throat. "IT'S NOT OVER YET BITCH! IF I'M GOING DOWN, THE TRAITOR IS GOING DOWN WITH ME!"  
'Pepito'-Diablo suddenly flung his broken arm out from the abyss, which turned into a coal-colored spike that he intended to shove right through Todd's heart, then drag him down into the pit. But Gaz reappeared right in front of Todd in the next split second, taking the spike through her shoulder instead. Dangerously close to her heart, but not quite there. While Todd let out a 'squee' of shock and horror at her state, she simply grabbed the spike calmly and began to slowly drag it out, and tsked at Diablo's sad, last little cling to power. It was all over now, this was just his last 'fuck you'. She told him as much, "It's over, Diablo..."  
"NO!" He insisted, looking to the world's new ruler like a petulant child throwing a tantrum. "YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME ON THIS NIGHT, WHEN MY POWER IS-!"  
"Yeah, yeah." Gaz cut him off with a grunt as she pulled the spike out, covering the wound with her other hand. It hissed on contact, healing the rot that Diablo had tried to leave behind. "I didn't expect you to remember, or care, but whatever. You kidnapped my mom on Halloween night, twenty-five years ago. A year and a day after that, I was born."  
She smirked one last time at him as she finished healing her wound, and reached into her pocket. She pulled out her cell phone, and showed him the time. 12:01. Her smirk became a grin as she held him up by the spike he'd tried to kill her with above the hole. "Happy birthday to me, motherfucker." She announced, right before dropping him.  
Again, Pepito did still try to catch onto the ledge, but this time Gaz stomped down on his hand harshly right away, and then reached over and slammed the door to the pit shut, causing him to finally lose his grip. 'Pepito'-Diablo's distant scream could only be heard for a few seconds, but then an enormous demonic howl vibrated throughout the entire house. Dib covered his ears at the sound, but Gaz's voice rose above it as she put her hands down on the door to keep it steady, "TODD, JOHNNY!" She barked, and the two men immediately dropped to their knees and put their hands on the door too, as it began to shake. As if something was still trying to get out, and was more desperate than ever.  
Gaz put the padlock on the door's bolt, snapped it shut, and then chanted one last time as she held the metal piece, making it and the door glow with runes. "I swear on my life, this will be true. This is the last innocent blood that shall be given to you..."  
It was hard to tell what she meant at first, until she began to get up from the floor. Then, to Dib and Todd's horror, and Johnny's slight interest, a trickle of blood ran down from her inner thighs and down her legs, dripping down over her boots and onto the floor. She grit her teeth and ignored it though, and slowly walked over to Devi, barely wincing under the excruciating pain she was currently under. "Hey Devi..."  
"Gaz...?" Devi replied weakly, looking around her in confusion and fear, and dropping the knives she was holding. "What is this place, why are we here...? Oh GOD, why is HE here-?!" She suddenly cried out as she finally noticed Johnny behind her, who shrunk away and didn't try to speak to her.  
Instead, Gaz insisted and grabbed onto Devi's shoulder, steadying and calming her. "DEVI. Don't worry. It's all over now. I know this will be hard for you to believe, but you're finally free from this nightmare you've been under for so long... Your life is finally truly your own. Todd and Johnny helped me do this for you, but none of us expect you to thank us in any way. The best way you could thank us, is to forget all about us and go live your life now. I set you up with a place far from all this crazy shit, and I'm gonna send you there now, okay Devi?"  
Devi seemed unsure about how to respond at first. There was so much going on in her head, it would take a lifetime to try and express it on canvas. So instead she simply nodded, two tears slowly running down her face. "Thank you..." She whispered.  
"No, thank you, Devi." Gaz insisted, sadly and sincerely. "Goodbye."  
She placed her hands out in front of Devi, and in the next instant, she was gone.  
But the second she disappeared, Gaz let out a short, involuntary cry and fell to her knees, clutching her stomach in true agony this time.  
"Gaz?!" Todd worriedly called to her from his spot by the trap door.  
His wife held up a hand, motioning for him to stay where he was, and slowly began to rise to her feet by herself once more. "I need you and Johnny to stay here for at least an hour, Todd... Until the spell stabilizes..." He opened his mouth to speak again, but she cut him off. "Don't worry... I'm not going anywhere yet. I promise."  
She then began to take several unsteady steps towards her brother. But when she got in front of him, she suddenly lost her balance due to the no-longer-bearable pain, and fell against his chest. His eyes went wide as he caught her just in time before she slipped over, and she clung to his shoulders to keep herself upright. "Dib..." She whispered just barely loud enough for him to hear. "I need... Your help..."  
He gawked at her in supreme confusion at first. SHE needed HIS help? She'd never asked for his help before even once in her life, and after everything she'd just managed to do, he couldn't imagine why she ever would. He barely managed to sputter back at her, "W-What? Why...?"  
She growled up at him and clenched the fabric of his shirt in her fist. It was so hard to explain anything to idiots the first time. "I used too much of my power sealing Diablo and sending Devi away. Now I don't have enough to reappear on the surface. Dib, I -need- you to help me get to the top, and then take me to Dad..."  
He tensed up immediately at her request, his stomach turning sour. "Wait, Gaz, I don't think that's the best idea. Dad isn't really the great man he wants everyone to believe he is-"  
"Oh my god, Dib, shut the fuck up!" She cut him off with a deep groan. "Can you fucking SEE without your glasses now or not?! I'm green, and I'm pregnant! What do you expect me to do like this, just walk into the hospital and ask if they specialize in alien births? Dad and I already agreed that he would deliver my babies months ago. And if you think I don't know more about Dad than you THINK you know about him, you're WRONG."  
"So, what?" Dib shot back, frustrated with her, "You know what he did to me and you're fine with him being anywhere NEAR your children-?!"  
"SHUT UP!" She screamed back, but not just with rage. Everyone in the room could hear her unmistakable pain and just the slightest bit of fear. "He won't hurt them, he knows I'd kill him if he did! Except for the very first year of our life, I've always had Dad under my control. I just doomed the creature that was in charge of all our lives, so if you think I can't keep Dad from doing anything I don't really want him to, you might just be too dumb for words, Dib! Now, PLEASE..." She finally allowed him that word as the pain became too much to bear, and another strong contraction involuntarily sent her to her knees, clutching her stomach.  
Dib finally jumped to obey her when he heard that rare word, feeling like a real dumb jerk as she succumbed to the incredible pain she was in to fill his slow self in. He bent down and collected her under the knees in one arm, not caring about the blood that got on his jacket. Hell, it had plenty of other weird stuff on it already. The other arm he cradled around her back, and then hefted her up. She wasn't light, but neither was Dib, and it was easy enough for him to pick her weight up. He tried not to think about the fact that he'd have to ascend sixty-six sets of stairs and a handful of ladders on top of that, and instead focused on the weird way Gaz had just settled against his chest and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Dib couldn't really explain it in words, but he could feel the immense trust of their bond as brother and sister, as if it was a physical thing between them.  
Gaz called back just once to Todd as Dib carried her to the stairs, "You'll know when you can come back up, Todd. It won't be long. Just do what I told you to..."  
Dib barked at Zim as he passed him on the stairs, "Come on Zim, lets go!"  
Zim petulantly took his time in trudging up the stairs after Dib, until Gaz glared over her brother's shoulder back at him, twitching an eye. His steps quickened pretty fast after that.  
Keeping at a safe sprint, Dib made his way up stairs and down corridors with Gaz's weight in his arms for at least ten or twelve levels before finally breaking a sweat. He did so at last only when he came across a ladder, groaning as he remembered that there was at least four or five more. "Gaz, I'm not sure how I'm gonna get you up these things safely..."  
But Gaz was focused entirely on more important matters, holding her stomach and clenching her teeth. Her eyes screwed shut, she seethed back at him, "Figure it out..."  
Starting to panic a little, Dib turned to Orby and asked, desperate, "Orby, you can, like, float things, right?"  
The orb glowed a thoughtful pale blue as it answered, "Smaller items, yes. But it would be impossible for me to sustain Gaz's weight anywhere near long enough to beam her to the top. I have a better idea anyways. It won't be easy, but it's got the best chance of success of all the plans I've compared and simulated. Dib, you'll need to climb the ladder. Zim, you'll have to both hang on to Dib as he climbs the ladder, then create a nest with your PAK-legs underneath Gaz, keeping her body caged until you get to the top."  
Dib gave his boyfriend a pleading glance, "Zim, do you think you could do it?"  
Orby didn't let Zim reply first, and butted in to answer Dib for him instead, "Zim may be much more petite than you Dib, but he's still a genetically enhanced Neo-Irken soldier. His PAK-legs are certainly made of strong enough stuff to sustain Gaz's weight without breaking, and he -should- be more than capable of lifting as much as you can too, at least for a short period of time..."  
With his capabilities subtly called out, Zim growled back at the Orb, which had turned a non-assuming lavender color. "Shut your noise-maker, Dib's Maternal Unit! Of course I can carry Dib's hideous sister, even if she has developed a gigantic tumor in her belly!"  
"Zim-" Dib began to correct him, but Gaz quickly reached up and flicked his ear.  
She rolled her eyes up at him as she mumbled, "Don't tell him yet, stupid. He'll just freak out. Get me outta here first..."  
Laying Gaz on the floor, Dib climbed the first few rungs on the ladder, then paused as Zim wrapped his arms around Dib's shoulders, and his legs around his stomach, clinging tightly. After that Zim reached down with his metallic spider legs, carefully wrapping them around Gaz's body and making sure not to poke or scratch her with the pointy ends.  
Zim grunted a little as Dib began to ascend as quickly as he could, but he refused to let his grip budge a single bit. After a little over a minute, Dib managed to cross the final ladder rung, then gripped the sides of the doorway to pull them in.  
They both panted for air for a few seconds, then Zim handed his cargo over to Dib once more. Gaz groaned deeply as Dib picked her up, and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, "HURRY..."  
Dib nodded without another word, and began to run. The herculean task she needed of him could only be completed so fast, but he pushed himself as far as he could, knowing the situation was direly urgent. With Zim's help, he managed to ascend the rest of the ladders in their way, then continued up every stairway on his own without stopping. Zim huffed along, too proud to ask for a break.  
When they finally emerged at the top level, sweat was rolling down Dib's face and his shirt was soaked in both his sweat and Gaz's blood. Zim pulled out a remote control from his PAK as they crossed out into the open air, and Dib gratefully gasped in the coolness and let it breeze over his face while they waited for the Dual Ship to respond to Zim's summoning.  
Just as the ship began to appear on the dark night horizon, Gaz suddenly let out an involuntary cry, a desperate and painful cry. Feeling helpless, Dib carried her onto the ship as soon as it landed, laying her carefully on the floor as Zim got into the controls and set their coordinates for Membrane's Laboratory.  
Gaz head was rocking back and forth as she whimpered, and her skin had become a much paler and more sickly shade of green. Not knowing what else to do for her at the moment, Dib reached down and wiped the sweat away from her brow. Hesitantly, he then reached down and laid his hand over hers. She gripped his hand as soon as she felt it, shaking as she mumbled back to him, almost deliriously, "Get me to Dad, Dib... J-Just get me to Dad..."  
"I will, I will..." He whispered back, trying his best to keep her calm. But he was also pretty unnerved himself by how much pain his normally composed sister was currently in. To try and distract her from it, he asked her, "Do you know what you're having? A girl, or a boy?"  
"Girl... Boy..." She whispered back in what seemed like an amused tone, and her eyes fluttered shut. Dib didn't think much of the vague answer right away, too worried to care.  
Zim finally announced a few minutes later, "We're here. I parked in the back."  
Dib nodded gratefully to him, then picked Gaz back up and headed outside with her. When they got to the back door, Gaz seemed to have regained consciousness, and she reached out for the pass-code panel. She typed in a number and pressed enter, but the door didn't open right away. After a few antsy moments Dib was about to ask her if she'd typed it right, but then suddenly the door opened at last, and Professor Membrane himself was the one on the other side, panting hard as if he had dropped everything and ran to answer when summoned.  
"Bring her in, quick." Membrane finally panted to Dib, otherwise not recognizing him or his alien companion at all. He then turned heel and ran down the hall to an elevator. Dib and Zim both followed after him and got into the elevator, where they then descended in one of the single most awkward silences ever known to mankind. Well, silent except for some soft, Halloween-themed elevator music (Membrane mentally noted to himself that he needed to switch that out for the Christmas music tomorrow) and the occasional drip-drop of Gaz's blood onto the floor.  
Finally they reached the very bottom level, nine levels below. This floor would have no one else on it, it was the Professor's private lab away from home. The door at the end of the hall opened to reveal a hospital-like setting, and there the Professor reached out to take his daughter.  
Dib glared intensely as he handed her over, but the Professor didn't acknowledge that either. He promptly shut the door behind him as soon as he had Gaz in his own arms, leaving his son and the alien to wait on a bench outside.  
Almost immediately after the two of them sat down, they jumped as Gaz began to scream. At first it was more or less just the normal kind of screaming one would expect during a birth, but the sound quickly turned into something quite a bit more worrisome. It was like the squealing of a pig being slaughtered and the roar of rabid Irken dragon, all wrapped up in a demonic howl. It seemed to go on forever.  
Shaking slightly, Zim hesitantly piped up after a few moments, holding onto Dib's arm in fear, "Well, hopefully your sister learns not to wait before getting a tumor removed from now on..."  
Dib rolled his eyes and huffed back, "Zim, you idiot - She's pregnant!"  
The alien looked up at Dib with the single most horrified expression the human had ever seen on him, and sputtered back, "WHAT?! The Gaz-beast, sh-she's EXPELLING YOUNG...?!"  
"YES, ZIM, NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Gaz screeched back at him from the other room, just before letting out another blood-curdling dragon-scream.  
They both sat in a very uncomfortable 'silence' after that, for what seemed like hours, but was really only half of one. Then the screaming suddenly stopped, and they watched the door closely. A couple of minutes later, Professor Membrane emerged from the room, wiping his face and hands with a towel. Other than that, however, he was almost completely covered in blood, and he didn't seem the least bit disturbed by it.  
"Ah, that went well!" He proudly proclaimed, then finally glanced over in Dib's direction. "Hmm, you're still here? Are you waiting for a tip?"  
Dib's eyes twitched as he looked back at his father, starting to seethe as he wondered if he had really, seriously forgotten him. But then the Professor began to laugh, and piped up again, "I'm just kidding, son, I know it's you. So what have you been up to the last six years? Still insane as ever?"  
Dib stared at his father for a second or two, then he got up to his feet, wordlessly, and in the next second, his fist swung out, connecting with the side of the Professor's face with a painful-sounding 'thwack!'. The older man went down to the floor, and Dib breathed unevenly as he watched, resisting the sorely tempting urge to do it again.  
Instead he snarled back at his father, spit flying from his mouth, "You knew, this entire fucking time, you KNEW, and you have the NERVE to ask me if I'm insane? YOU DID THIS TO ME, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS! You are, without a single doubt, the WORST fucking father EVER! I don't want you to talk to me ever again, and as soon as I'm done with what I came here to do, I'm leaving this place for good and you'll NEVER see my face AGAIN!"  
Wanting to get away but not sure where to go, Dib first peeked into Gaz's room, to make sure Membrane hadn't somehow managed to secretly murder her, what with all that blood. But she was alive after all, and resting comfortably on the bed, covered with fresh white sheets and with two babies laying in little plastic makeshift-cribs right next to her. Feeling awkward, Dib was about to leave for now and let her rest, until she suddenly called out to him, "Dib. Come in and shut the door behind you. We need to talk."  
He looked back at her in confusion and apprehension, "Uh, are you sure? You just gave birth. You should probably rest now..."  
"You should probably stop pretending I'm a normal human." She countered with a growl. "Now shut the stupid door and get over here."  
He obeyed her and walked inside, closing the door and leaving Membrane on the floor behind him, then sitting down in the guest seat nearby her. He expected her to speak first, so he sat in silence as he waited for her to do so. A moment passed by and she still hadn't though, so finally Dib piped up himself, "So, um... I guess I'm not a Capricorn after all...?"  
"Nope. Scorpio." Gaz replied calmly.  
"That makes a bit more sense..." He agreed, scratching his ear awkwardly.  
"Also I was born first, and I hatched first." She added with a small smirk, "So technically YOU are MY 'little bro'."  
Dib couldn't help but crack a grin at that, "Yeah, that makes a bit more sense too, 'Big Sis'..."  
A short silence again passed between them. Dib let her collect her thoughts while he gazed at her, and the babies. It was so weird, seeing someone you've seen a thousand times before looking completely different than you remembered. Now that there was some better light to see her with, he could see that her olive colored skin was actually a slightly paler shade, like jade. But her eyes were still the same amber-brown color that he remembered...  
"Aba gabba baba!" One of the children, a very pale green little one, suddenly cooed. Gaz smiled and reached over to the crib, waving her hand at the light pea-colored baby, who reached up for her fingers with a smile.  
"This one certainly loves to gab, for a newborn." She mentioned quietly. "Human newborns are normally much more quiet and less mobile than you, my clever little caterpillar. See? Your beautiful sister is sleeping peacefully, so hush now, or you'll wake her..."  
Dib got up again, to take a better look over at the other child. Unlike her sibling, she had apparently inherited mostly human DNA - Her skin was peach-colored, and she had no lekku, only two perfectly cute little ears, which seemed to stick out a lot like Dib's did.  
But the green baby disobediently continued to babble back, louder than ever, "Gab! Gabi gabba gab!"  
"Is that what I should call you, Gab?" Gaz replied, as if she could understand the baby-banter perfectly. "Or are you a Gabi?"  
Reaching into the bin, she pulled back the sheets and briefly inspected the newborn's genitals before covering it back up again. "Well, I suppose you could be either..."  
Dib suddenly felt rather awkward as a thought occurred to him, which he hesitantly passed on to her, "Um, no offense Gaz, but shouldn't you be sharing this moment with with their father...?"  
"No duh, asshole." She snapped back at him, clearly very annoyed with him in that moment. "I would if I could. He's still stabilizing my spell to keep the DEVIL locked up for all eternity, remember? He'll be here in another half an hour, but we haven't seen each other for SIX YEARS. So park it, we need to talk."  
With a huff, Dib obeyed her again and took his seat. "Well, I was kinda expecting you to say something first!"  
"I was expecting you to have questions." She countered fairly, "But whatever, I'll start. First of all, I don't think you should be so harsh on Dad."  
Dib's mouth fell open at that and he stared at her, "What-Oh, come on! Are you kidding me? Gaz, how can you take his side like that, knowing what he did to our mother?!"  
She glared back at him, "I'm NOT 'taking his side'! I just know a lot more about him and the entire situation than you do, and I'm thinking about it more logically! The fact is, you're blaming Dad for something that isn't entirely his fault."  
"How can you say that-?" He tried to interrupt.  
"SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" She screeched back at him, and he quickly snapped his mouth shut and did so. "YES, Dad did a LOT of really shitty, selfish things to you! I did too, and I'm going to say sorry for both of us because I know he never will! But you NEED to understand a few things about him AND yourself, Dib. You only share half of your DNA with him. You can't hold him by the same standards you hold yourself to. Normal HUMAN children, Dib? They don't react to seeing aliens and bigfeet and monsters in the dead of night like, 'Wow! Hold still while I get a picture!' They fucking get SCARED, Dib! They don't chase after these nightmares, they get terrified! They scream, they run, or they just freeze up and piss themselves and pray to their impotent GOD that they won't die horribly! That's what Dad had to go through when he was just a little boy!"  
Glaring at him, she went on, "Be honest Dib, what if you had to experience that as a child, -without- the Neo-Irken DNA that enhanced you both physically and mentally - What if you were standing on the brink of adulthood, yet still very much a child, locked up in an insane asylum, your mind wasting away and your demons ready to consume you, and a horrifically powerful monster came to you and told you that he could make them all go away, forever? Not only that, not only would your mind finally be free from this horrible CURSE, but he could grant you intelligence beyond what any other human in history has ever known? Be HONEST, Dib - If you had been in a situation like that, like Dad was, you probably wouldn't have been such a saint in the face of temptation, either!"  
He stared at her wordlessly for several seconds after that, unsure how to respond at first. So Gaz continued without his input, "It's still not an excuse for what he did. He could have chosen to refuse to harm another child like he was harmed, and meet his fate head on, like my husband Todd was willing to do. But that kind of true bravery isn't as common as humans wish it was, especially when we really have to face the pressure head-on ourselves. Dad was just a scared little kid, Dib. What he did was wrong, but he didn't really have a fair choice. He was pretty much just as forced into the situation as our Mother was. He never wanted children anymore than she did, he just wanted to be normal and go to college and do good things for his world, invent things that would better mankind, and he did! He did all that, AND raised two kids that he never even wanted, the best he could! And finally, this should be obvious, but have you forgotten that, as fucked up as this entire situation was for everyone involved, we both owe our LIVES to it?"  
Well, that WAS kind of hard to dispute. It was also rather a lot to process. So, everything Dib thought he knew was true, was wrong... Again. How many times had that happened so far? He'd lost count.  
Letting out a frustrated sigh, he asked her with fatigue in his eyes, "So what am I supposed to do? Just forget about everything he's ever done to me?"  
"Yes." Gaz answered him immediately and with utterly serious conviction.  
"Why?" He demanded to know.  
"...Because you're better than him."  
Dib's eyes went wide as he heard her say that, unable to believe it. Between that and her saying sorry to him, Dib was starting to wonder if this was actually his sister after all.  
Gaz stared back at his perplexed expression silently for a moment, but then she broke out into a strange smile. She snorted, trying to hold back her laughter, until a short cackle finally forced it's way out of her mouth. Suddenly, she reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt, roughly pulling him down towards her. Dib was almost convinced she was about to break his neck or something, but instead she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, hugging him tight.  
"Dib, you idiot!" She exclaimed, but her voice wasn't the least bit angry. In fact, she was so overwhelmingly happy, she was actually -crying-. Dib had never seen her cry before, not even when she was a little girl, so he was rightfully more than just a tad terrified. At the same time though, it was a surprisingly pleasant sensation, and he didn't feel the need to try and pull away. She went on, pressing her dampened cheek to his, "Do you have ANY idea how amazed I am that you're not DEAD?"  
"Uh..." Was all Dib could manage to think to say at the moment.  
She squeezed him tighter as she continued, "Almost as amazed as I am by the fact that we're BOTH not dead. I always wanted to believe I could do what mom asked me to... But honestly? I was never really, totally sure I could. Not until I saw you tonight. Knowing that you survived everything you did to get back here... I knew I could do anything after that..."  
Finally she let go of him, and let herself fall back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling with wonder in her wide, bright eyes. "We really can do -anything-..."  
Dib was still very much at a loss as to what to say or do in this impossibly weird situation, but luckily for him someone suddenly began to knock on the door, effectively excusing him from the awkwardness as the young man from that weird house stepped inside. He immediately made his way to the plastic bins where the twins were sleeping, staring down at his children in amazement, tears welling in his eyes.  
Dib awkwardly got up from his seat so that Todd could take over, and began to shuffle his way out. But Todd took notice and quickly reached for Dib's shoulder, "Hey, wait." He rubbed his eyes with his sleeve and then smiled brightly. "You're Dib, right? Hehe, except for the coke-bottle glasses, you look just like Gaz always said! If you wouldn't mind, I'd really like to share a coffee or something with you sometime soon. Gaz has told me a lot about you."  
The space-traveler stared back at the strangely normal-looking young man in complete bafflement. Of all the weirdness he'd seen in various dimensions and planets, this kid had to be the single most confusing being he'd ever encountered in his life. What was it that Gaz, the most powerful being in existence, liked so much about this average-looking human boy? Dib supposed he'd have to have a coffee with him some time and find out. "Uh, yeah, sure..." He finally replied in a distracted tone, glancing over at Gaz semi-suspiciously, "You... You actually, tell people about me...?  
She rolled her eyes away from him as a small blush dusted her cheeks. "Duh, stupid. You're my brother and I love you. Now get the fuck out so I can kiss my husband..." She quickly ordered, to cover up the last words she'd just admitted.  
Dib's eyes went wider than they'd ever been before as he heard those words, and he stared outright for more than a few seconds, until Gaz glared and wordlessly shooed him with her hand. "Oh! R-Right, okay..." He mumbled back, heading for the door. But just as he was about to exit the room, he stopped and turned one last time to add, "Um, I - I love you too, sis!" Before quickly shutting the door behind him.  
Todd broke out into a grin as soon as he was gone. "Aww. How cute. He's just as dorky as you said."  
"Oh no, he's WAY dorkier." Gaz replied with a grin of her own. "By the way, I hope you don't mind, but the green one has already decided on 'Gab' for a name. Because he gabs." She explained shortly, just as the baby began to babble in agreement behind them.  
"That's okay." Todd kissed her forehead. "I like Gab. So what about the other one?"  
Gaz pretended to hum in thought, "Well, I did have an idea for a name... I was thinking that I'd kind of like to name her after two of my favorite people. So, what do you think of 'Debi'?"  
"I like it!" He immediately praised. "How do you like 'Jenny' as a middle name?"  
"I think it's perfect. Just like her."  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
As Gaz had promised her husband, she didn't leave right away. Though she was far from a regular human, she still had to take it easy after giving birth and sealing away an ancient demon, and was in no shape to be taking off anywhere. Not to mention, Zim and Dib's Dual Ship was much very in the same boat, dented and scratched from the top to bottom after all their adventures, it definitely needed some work before returning to the vacuum of space.  
Gaz didn't trouble herself in the least for sleeping in well past noon the next day, content to let her husband tend to the babies while she did so, and only bothering to wake up when the luscious aroma of greasy, cheesy pizza filled her nostrils. Despite knowing how gross and unhealthy it was compared to most of the nutrients he'd been living off of in space, Dib had been sorely craving a taste of his old staple. Besides, it was his birthday, apparently, so he was allowed to treat himself to his favorite poison, and as he'd expected, Gaz selfishly scarfed down most of the pizza to herself. Of course, nobody was going to correct a hormonal, pain-ridden Gaz about a damn thing.  
The next day Dib went out with Todd for that coffee he had promised, and both men were quite surprised by their perception of the other. Todd was shocked to find that Dib was even dorkier and weirder than Gaz could have ever impressed even if she tried - But then again, to someone as weird as Gaz, even Dib probably seemed like your average geek. Dib, on the other hand, was shocked to find how relatively -normal- his sister's husband was. He was truly average in every way, except for his childhood experiences, but to Dib that was literally all just a walk in the park. His looks were average, his intelligence was average, even his tastes were average - When Dib offered, the kid refused to try one of the alien berries that Dib brought in for Gaz, who used them and the alien aloe in some sort of spell to heal her body and restore her magic.  
But then again, to Gaz, that extraordinarily normal, Plain-Wayne, would-eat-spaghetti-forever-if-he-could-husband of hers, was actually one of the most rare and beautiful beings in the entire cosmos...  
The family went on to spend that Thanksgiving and Christmas together - Truly the single most awkward Thanksgiving and Christmas ever spent. At least Johnny had opted out of it, choosing instead to spend some personal time in the woods and collect his things from his cabin before moving back in with Todd, but between Professor Membrane's flying head-on-a-screen, Zim criticising everything on the table, Dib subsequently trying to steal his portions, and Zim trying to stab him with his spider legs for it, even though he didn't even want the food to begin with, well, it was a memorable holiday season, to say the least.  
Despite Zim's brief initial uproar about it, once Gaz was healed she confiscated the Dual Ship and began making repairs and personal upgrades to it. By and large, human technology was still far behind Irken technology, but Membrane Laboratories had more than one secret hiding in the basement, and besides that, Gaz already had a decent knowledge of Irken technology herself. And of course, with Orby on her side, there was nothing she couldn't do. Still, she definitely took her sweet time doing it, in no particular hurry to leave the world she had been born to right away.  
But after about a month or two, Zim eventually got sick enough of the smells and sights and noises on Earth to test Gaz's wrath, and finally one day he snapped at Dib, "FILTHY human! WHEN are we going to leave this cursed planet?!"  
"Hey, it's not cursed anymore, remember?" Answered Dib, who was sitting on the couch with a cheesy-toes chip hanging out of his mouth. "Gaz fixed that. And she said she's fixing the ship, so be grateful."  
"Well she hasn't fixed the STINK! You're starting to smell like a disgusting Earth-boy again! I refuse to let you touch me again until you've got this horrible Earth-smell off of you!"  
With sex as the ultimatum, Dib sighed, knowing he'd eventually have to go along with what his alien punk wanted. He'd been having fun spending time with a kinda loving family for once, but he also had to agree that Earth just wasn't what it was cracked up to be after everything else he'd seen, and he longed to return to the vastness of space once more.  
So finally, once Christmas and the New Year had passed, he went to his sister to tell her the news, "Hey, Gaz... It's been really good to see you again, but we need to hit the interplanetary road again now. I really wish we could see each other again but-"  
Gaz cut him off there, rocking baby Debi in her arms and wearing a pink apron, but still managing to look more than menacing, "That's good. Because I'm going with you."  
"W-What?!" Dib replied with wide-eyes, not sure if he'd really heard right, "WAIT, what-? I thought we just had to bring Orby-?!"  
"Over Zim's disintegrated CORPSE, you are! Get your own ship, Gaz-pig! Give back the ship and the remote and all other pieces, NOW-!" His alien boyfriend added, but quickly stepped back when Gaz advanced upon him with murder in her eyes. The fact that she looked like she could kill him when holding a baby somehow only made her look more dangerous.  
"I COULD arrange for the former, you little green PUKE." She growled, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and sneering into his face. "Luckily for you I have more use for you alive than dead. But I CAN change my mind about that at any time no matter how important you think you are, so fair warning, Irken. And what, did your dumb asses think I was fixing your ship and saving your lives this whole time, just because I liked you? Fuck you. You owe me and now it's time to pay up. I hope you fuckers enjoyed your childhoods because now I'm here to whip you little bitches into shape and put you to WORK. You two are vital to my Master Plan and you're just gonna have to get used to it, because unless you plan to take the pussy way out and commit suicide, you're mine now. So pick up your jaws before a bug flies in, and get ready to shit yourselves when you see what I've done with the ship."  
They didn't literally shit themselves, but their jaws dropped again when Gaz finally allowed them to see the ship in her private underground lab. She'd pretty much completely overhauled the craft, making it a Trio-Ship just to start things off. She had also made everything that was dented all shiny and smooth, replacing many of the parts with entirely new bits. It was now a much roomier ship, big enough to have force to it's frame, but still just small enough to be stealthy as well. She had added two stealth laser-cannons to each portion of the trio, a total of six, and had upgraded the defense system to boot.  
Dib openly whistled, impressed by the work. Zim glared at him and crossed his arms. His human boyfriend eventually nudged him when he refused to speak at first, and the alien had to begrudgingly admit, "Okay, I GUESS it looks better than before..."  
"Shut up, Zim, I know it." Gaz snapped back at him, adding, "Now pack whatever shit you plan on bringing. We're leaving in two weeks."  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO  
The next two weeks didn't seem like much time at all to Todd or Gaz, who made out and had sex at every possible opportunity. It was a bit longer for Dib, who Gaz pawned the kids off to constantly when she wanted a moment alone with her husband. But the new uncle had to admit, although he still never wanted kids of his own, being a mentor to the little ones was pretty fun too. He did have a bias, though. He adored Debi and was glad that she was much easier to care for and please, but he personally prefered Gab and his personality, how he was constantly trying to get into things, curious little tyke that he was. And the fact that he was a handsome shade of green didn't hurt either.  
But that day finally did come, the day that Gaz had chosen as the date of their departure, and they stood with the ship completely stocked, ready, except for one thing.  
Gaz had stopped before she boarded, and Todd stood opposite of her. Gaz was carrying Gab, and Todd had Debi in his arms. They gazed at one another for a long time, then leaned in and hugged one another, as a whole family, for the last time.  
Naturally they found themselves reluctant to let go. Todd finally hesitated to ask, just before Gaz had considered turning away, "Do you think... Will you ever be able to come back someday at all...?"  
Gaz stiffened a bit in his arms. She knew she might be able to contact him once in a great while, but eventually she would have to immerse herself in a world where that would be too dangerous to do for a long time. And as for coming back, it was impossible...  
Well, it was -probably- impossible, unless...  
Gaz suddenly grabbed Todd just as he was pulling back, and hugged him to her tighter than ever. "Listen, Todd. My love... Listen. I -might- be able to come back, someday, but it won't be soon... You'll need to hold on to life with all your might, and -maybe-, if you live a long and full enough life, I'll be able to juggle some things around and get my chores on Irk done in time to get back here, before the Cosmic Fire Witch comes to end me in all her glory. But you need to live to be old as fuck, you got that Casil? Old as FUCK."  
"Old as fuck. You got it, babe." He agreed, grinning even though his eyes were overflowing with tears. Gaz reached in and let them fall onto her hand, then brought the salty waters to her tongue. His life and his love for her was in those tears. They would have to get her by until she could quench her thirst for him once more.  
Still though. Just one more kiss...  
They'd never bound each other before, but they both knew there was a vow in that kiss, a vow that applied to both of them. Live. Live without me. Live well, for me, and I will do the same for you...  
Todd ruffled his daughter-son Gab's green head one last time before Gaz took him with her, to the world they belonged to. "You're gonna go far, kid..." Was his father's last words to him.  
Debi began to whine and then bubbled into a cry as Gaz placed one last kiss on her forehead and whispered, "I leave you this world, little one. I made it just for you. Play to your heart's content..."  
Finally, Gaz took a step back from her husband and daughter. Then another, and another. Just as her eyes began to sting, she at last tore herself away from them, turned and fled into the ship. It was the first time she'd ever fled in her life.  
Dib and Zim gave her plenty of room when she entered the ship, and neither of them protested when she handed Gab off to Dib wordlessly, and then headed to the console of the ship, starting it and typing in the instructions. Then she watched, unblinking, out of the front window, as her husband put up his hand and waved to her.  
She watched him as he got smaller and smaller as the ship ascended, and she kept watching him even when he got too small for normal humans to see. She watched until they'd left the atmosphere completely, she watched until the Earth was just another blue marble in the infinitely dark sky.  
And Dib watched her, worried for his sister, and saddened himself by her plight. It suddenly hit him, how much she'd ever done for him and everyone else, how much she'd sacrificed.  
She'd given up her true love, to save her people... Both of her peoples.  
Who wouldn't be honored to serve someone like that?  
"Dib." She suddenly sniffed thickly, refusing to look back at him. But he could see in the reflection of her on the screen, there was a bit of shine to her eyes, almost like tears... "Take the baby and Zim and go to your room. Leave me alone for a while..." She commanded quietly.  
He nodded and obeyed her, dragging Zim off despite the alien's quiet and reluctant protests about being bossed around. But Zim was glad he had obeyed after all when the door closed behind them and they began to hear strange, heavy sobbing, which soon became monstrous howls of pain.  
The universe was so very big, and full of so many things. But right now, Gaz felt only the emptiness.  
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


End file.
